Courage

by Kristen Proby

  “And what about the job in Spokane?” Liam asks me.

  Both Sebastian and Callum turn to me in surprise.

  “It’s there if I want it.” I sigh and sip my beer. “I have to give them an answer after the first of the year.”

  “So, you’re moving?” Callum asks. “But I thought you were living with them. As a family.”

  “I am.”

  “Will you all move, then?” Sebastian asks.

  I frown. “I hadn’t planned on that. Honestly, I haven’t given it a lot of thought lately.”

  “Might want to think about it, especially if you have to tell them soon. Maybe talk to Tash about it. She should have a say,” Liam says.

  “We’re not married,” I immediately reply and then feel like a jackass when they all raise their eyebrows in surprise. “Okay, you’re right. I’m a putz.”

  “You’ve had a lot on your plate,” Callum says. “I suspect you’re still adjusting to all of the changes.”

  I sigh, but before I can say anything, Kevin comes running into the room.

  “I was sent up to the man room because I’m a man,” he says, winded from running up the stairs. “Because you guys have to come down for dessert. We can’t have pie or anything until you guys come down. Ellie said so.”

  “Then I guess we’d better go down,” I reply and ruffle his hair. “What have you guys been doing? Your hair’s wet.”

  “Playing in the snow,” he says as we walk down the stairs.

  “What snow?” It was bone-dry outside when we drove up here earlier this afternoon.

  When we walk toward the kitchen and look out the floor-to-ceiling windows that have a view of the lake down below, I whistle in surprise.

  “When did this start?” Callum asks.

  “About thirty minutes ago,” Aspen answers. “Don’t you guys ever look outside? It’s dumping, and the wind started up, so I made the kids come inside.”

  “Our eyes were riveted on the football game,” Callum says as he plants a kiss on his wife’s cheek.

  All of the kids are huddled around the TV, bundled up in blankets, already eating pie and other sweets that we brought with us.

  “I think everyone should stay the night,” Ellie announces with concern. “We have plenty of room for all of you, and the road down to town will be treacherous.”

  “I think that’s a good idea,” Sebastian agrees as we watch the snowfall turn to a blizzard. “It’s safer to stay put.”

  “I can’t,” I reply and turn to Tash. “I’m on call starting at five in the morning. I have to be home, just in case.”

  “We’ll be fine,” Tash says, waving it off. “We’re Montana kids, and we brought Sam’s big, beefy truck. It’ll be okay.”

  “But I want pie before we go,” I say and turn back in time to see Aspen and Tash share a look. “What was that about?”

  “What?” Tash asks, feigning innocence.

  “That look.”

  “There wasn’t a look,” Aspen says, scoffing. “What kind of pie do you want? Alice is serving it up.”

  “I want cherry,” I reply but make a mental note to ask Natasha what that was all about when we get home.

  “Aww, you want the one I made,” Tash says and leans over to kiss my cheek. “How sweet.”

  “Of course, I do. You worked damn hard on this pie.”

  “We heard what happened,” Nina, Sebastian’s wife, says with a grimace. “What a mess.”

  “It looked a bit like roadkill, to be honest.” I take a bite of the cherry and sigh in happiness. “You did great, babe.”

  “Yeah?” Tash’s face lights up. “Thanks. I’m going to have to go on a three-day fast after today. Alice’s cooking is always so good, and now I’m completely stuffed.”

  “There are plenty of leftovers for you to take some away,” Alice offers, but Natasha is already shaking her head.

  “That’s not necessary.”

  “Well, in that case, I’ll make a big batch of turkey pot pie with extra biscuits on Saturday, and everyone is welcome to come help us eat it.”

  “That, we can do,” I reply with a wink. “I’ll never turn down your cooking, Alice. Why don’t you dump that loser of a husband of yours and run off to marry me?”

  “That’s a charming offer,” Alice says with a laugh, “but I’m rather attached to the man.”

  “What a relief, as I’ve grown used to having you around, as well,” David says as he walks in from outside and kisses his wife’s cheek. “This storm is a bugger.”

  “We should get down the mountain,” Tash says to me, and David looks up with a scowl.

  “You’re leaving? In this?”

  “I have to work early in the morning,” I say as Tash gathers the kids. “I’ll be okay. I’ll take it easy.”

  When we have the kids bundled up, we say our goodbyes and pile into the truck.

  “It’s really coming down,” Tash says as she buckles her seatbelt. “I know I sounded confident back there, but this is as bad as I’ve seen it in a long time, Sam.”

  “I know.” I start the truck and make my way down the driveway, which is heated and, therefore, clear. But it’s a different story altogether when I make it to the road that leads down to town. “Okay, listen up, everyone. This road is icy, and it’s windy. We’re going to have some shelter from the wind in the trees here, but it’s going to be rocky, so please stay quiet and no roughhousing with each other on this trip, okay?”

  I look around, and everyone nods with wide eyes.

  This is going to suck ass.

  I can’t see the pavement through the snow covering it, and the plows haven’t been out to clear it away yet. But I know this road like the back of my hand, so I set off down the mountain.

  “It’s pure ice under the snow,” I mutter in amazement. “It froze fast. I didn’t see this storm in the forecast.”

  “It was supposed to hit north of us,” Tash says.

  I gear the truck way down so I have no choice but to inch along. As we round a corner, I see a car off the road with its hazards on.

  “They hit a tree,” Tash says.

  “That’s the only thing that kept them from going down the side of the mountain,” I reply grimly and ease the truck to a stop on the other side of the road so I’m sure it won’t follow the car and slide down the embankment. “I’m going to make sure no one is in that car.”

  “Be careful,” Tash says before I climb out of the truck and fight my way against the fierce wind and snowfall to the driver’s side of the car.

  I knock on the window. When the driver rolls it down, I’m shocked to see Beth, the bakery owner, looking up at me with terrified eyes.

  “Oh, Sam.” She swallows hard. “Thank God. My phone is dead, and I can’t get the car out of this ditch.”

  “It’s not a ditch. It’s the side of the fucking mountain, Beth. Are you hurt?”

  “No, just scared.”

  “Okay, roll this up and grab your bag. You can ride down with us. We’ll call a tow for the car, but it’ll probably be stuck here until after the storm blows through.”

  She nods and does as I say, and then we’re both fighting against the wind back to my truck.

  “We’re going to squeeze in,” I say to Tash when she rolls down her window.

  Natasha immediately turns to the kids in the back and tells them to lift their legs so Beth can squeeze between them to the middle seat in the back.

  Once she’s in, I shut the door and hurry around to the driver’s side.

  “Thanks so much,” Beth says. “That was maybe the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me. I appreciate the ride home. Oh, you must be Tasha. I’m Beth. Sam talked about you nonstop last night when he came to the shop to get the extras I had there.”

  She’s a ball of nervous energy, talking like crazy, but I block out the chatter and focus on getting us all down the damn mountain in one piece.

  When I reach the bottom where this road meets the one that leads in
to town, I breathe a big sigh of relief. The snow is just as intense down here, but it’s not as cold, so I shouldn’t have to fight the ice on the roads.

  “What’s your address, Beth?”

  “Oh, I’m in the apartments just up the road here. Just before you get to the first stoplight.”

  I nod. I know the apartments very well.

  I just moved out of them.

  “I love the building,” Beth continues. “And I have the cutest neighbor. I don’t know his name, but he just moved in. He looks like he might be in the military. He doesn’t say much, but he seems really nice.”

  Tash and I share an amused glance.

  “I wish I knew who his friend is,” Beth continues. “The one who helped him move in. Holy sexy, Batman. I mean, they’re both something to write home about. It’s a pity that he didn’t move in during the summer when he could have washed his car with his shirt off. And his friend could have helped.”

  Natasha laughs out loud now and glances back at Beth. “Actually, the guy who lives there now is my brother, Gage. And you’re right, he just got out of the Army and moved back to town. He’s definitely nice, and if you need anything, he’ll help you out.

  “His best friend is Seth King. If you want, I can introduce you to him. He’s single.”

  “No.” I look into the rearview and see Beth shaking her head adamantly. “No, definitely not.”

  “Seth’s awesome,” Tash points out.

  “Trust me. Hot guys and I don’t mix well. Been there, done that, have the baggage to prove it. But he sure is nice to look at. That’s me, on the end.” She points to the end of the building. “Thanks again for the ride.”

  “Do you want me to call the tow for you, or do you have it?”

  “Oh, I can do it.” She eases her way out of the truck and then smiles when I roll my window down. “It was nice to meet you, Natasha. Come into the bakery anytime. My treat.”

  “Thank you,” Tash says. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

  “You, too. Bye.” She waves, and I wait while she climbs the steps to her apartment. When she lets herself inside, I put the truck in gear to head home.

  “Okay, so she probably wasn’t flirting with you,” Tash admits.

  “She’s nice,” I reply.

  “Yeah, I like her. She’s super small and cute. Dimples in those cheeks for days. I wish she’d let me introduce her to Seth, but I’ll mind my business.”

  “You?” I act like I’m shocked. “Mind your own business? Who are you and what have you done with Natasha Mills?”

  She smacks my arm but also laughs. “Whatever. I’m not that bad.”

  “Are we gonna crash?” Kevin asks from the back seat. “Or can we talk now?”

  “You were so quiet, I almost forgot you were here,” I admit.

  “Of course, they listen to you,” Tash whispers and sighs. “Thanks for being quiet, guys.”

  I take her hand in mine and kiss her knuckles. “Hey, I listen to you.”

  “Yeah, most of the time.”

  Chapter 13

  ~Natasha~

  “They’re finally asleep. The excitement from the storm and all of today’s festivities at Ellie and Liam’s house had them all hopped up. But now, they’re down for the count.” I stop in the kitchen and pour myself a glass of red wine, then walk into the living room armed with my laptop, the ads for Black Friday from the Sunday newspaper, and a notebook.

  It’s time to make some Christmas decisions when it comes to the kids.

  “Have I mentioned that I love black Friday?” I ask as I curl up on the couch, set my wine on the floor next to me, and open the computer. “Because I do. Monica and I went shopping every year. Some years, she made me get up at like three o’clock in the morning because there were sales she didn’t want to miss.”

  I stop and stare at the computer screen, but I don’t really see it.

  One thing I’ve learned over the past six months is that grief is a sneaky bastard and will surprise you in the oddest moments. Take your breath away.

  Bring you to your knees.

  Like after a fun holiday with friends, curled up on the couch as it snows and storms outside.

  And a sexy man watching me from just a few feet away with complete understanding in his blue eyes.

  “I miss her, too,” he says softly and rubs the top of my foot in support. “Okay, let’s do this. What should we get the kids? I’m not buying anyone a car.”

  This makes me chuckle like he knew it would. “Not until they’re sixteen.”

  “Or twenty-six,” he mutters. “Do you know how many dead teenagers I’ve scraped off the pavement over the years?”

  “Jesus, Sam.” I shake my head and reach out for his hand. “Why do you do this job? It’s so damn sad.”

  “Because someone has to. Someone has to help.”

  “And you’re the helper.” I squeeze his hand.

  “Yeah, I guess so. Okay, let’s do this.”

  I nod and inhale as I reach for the first ad. “I did some research on what five-year-olds are playing with these days. I mean, I also pay attention when the kids announce that they want something, but this is my first Christmas as a parent, and I want them to be excited, you know?”

  “I’m grateful you did because I’m totally clueless,” he says with a grin and reaches for another ad. “Let’s get Kevin a PlayStation.”

  I blink over at him. “He’s five.”

  “So?” He raises a brow.

  “So, he’s too young for a gaming console. I don’t like them spending too much time staring at a screen.”

  “They watch TV all the damn time,” he counters, clearly frustrated.

  “No, they don’t. They’re allowed one hour a day on school days, and no more than three hours over the weekend. Oh, Target has some cool-looking art sets on sale. Kelsey loves this kind of stuff, and it’s princess-themed so that’ll go over well.”

  “Good one,” he says with a nod, but he still looks irritated. “They have some cool-looking building blocks at this store. Complete with little race cars. Kev would love that.”

  “It’s going on the list. You know, we could just go ahead and order most of this tonight. The sales start at midnight, and that’s only thirty minutes away. I’ll start putting stuff in the carts.”

  My fingers fly over the keyboard as I look for the items we’ve already discussed, and I put them in my shopping carts.

  “What about this cool dollhouse for Kelsey?” Sam asks and shows me the page in the ad. “She loves the one at Ellie’s place.”

  “Of course, the one up there is a replica of the castle in London,” I reply with a laugh. “Complete with hardwood floors and tapestries for the walls.”

  “This one is pink,” he replies, keeping a straight face.

  “That’ll work. Going in the cart.”

  We spend the next twenty minutes or so choosing several things for each of the twins.

  “When I’m out tomorrow, I’ll look for some new clothes,” I inform him. “They’re growing so fast. A few things will get wrapped, but most of it is just going right in their closet. The sales are too good to pass up.”

  “Wait, you’re going out tomorrow?” he asks with a scowl.

  “Of course. It’s black Friday.”

  “It’s a freaking blizzard outside.”

  I frown. “They’ll have the roads clear by morning. I’ve been driving on snow since the first day I got behind the wheel, you know.”

  “Are you going alone?”

  “No. Aspen, Ellie, and Nina would be recognized, and it’s not a good idea where security is concerned. But Fallon called me the other day and asked if I’d like to go with her. I’m meeting her at her place in the morning. The twins can hang out with Noah and the kids for the day.”

  “If this storm gets worse, just promise me you’ll reconsider.”

  “Sam, it’s fine.”

  “I won’t have you out driving in this mess, Tash. It’s damn dangerous, an
d there are too many people on the roads who don’t know what they’re doing. I’ve seen too many horrible accidents, so please don’t go if the storm doesn’t let up.”

  “Okay.” I hold up my hands in surrender. “If it isn’t better by morning, we’ll stay home.”

  “Thanks.” He tosses the ads on the floor and rests his head against the couch. “I think that’s plenty of things for the kids.”

  “I do think that shortly after Christmas, I’ll take Kelsey to get her ears pierced,” I add. “It’ll be one of her gifts.”

  “She’s five,” he says, echoing my words back to me.

  “Yeah, so?”

  “She’s too young for pierced ears.”

  “Some kids have their ears pierced when they’re tiny babies,” I say. “She’s old enough, and she’s been asking about it.”

  “No,” he says, shaking his head. “My dad made Monica wait until she was ten to get hers done, and Kelsey will wait, too.”

  “You’re so strict.”

  He shrugs. “I never thought I would be, but I guess I am. Just a little.”

  “Okay, no ear piercing, but you get to be the one to tell her that she has to wait five years to get it done.”

  “I have no problem with that.”

  He crosses his arms over his chest and closes his eyes again.

  “You’re tired.”

  “A little.”

  “You can go to bed. I’ll just order these things here in a few minutes and be right behind you.”

  He shakes his head, his eyes still closed. “I like being here with you. I can just chill here until you’re done.”

  I smile. I love hanging out with him like this, too. More evenings than not, we end up here on the couch, on different electronics, doing our own things. But we’re together. And it’s so nice.

  I didn’t realize I was so alone before Sam and the kids came into my life full time. I didn’t feel lonely, but I was certainly alone when I look back on that time.