by Beth Martin
The idea that Tina would be free again pushed every other thought out of her brain. She could see the dark-haired woman, dressed completely in black, slashing her father’s throat with a knife. Leona’s mind replayed the scene over and over again until she could barely sit upright and her stomach turned. The world around her seemed to close in on her and her surroundings suffocated her, circling around her field of vision until she leaned forward and threw up.
After a ragged breath, the world was no longer spinning. She felt weak, and her arms were trembling. From inside the house came the sound of Roemell racing up the basement stairs. Not wanting him to catch her in her current state, she quickly got up and let herself into the kitchen.
Even though everything useful, including all of the food, had already been removed from the room, she made a show of rooting through the pantry as Roemell came up to her.
“I thought I’d get an early start,” he said. He had a full pack slung over his shoulder and smiled broadly. “I just want to visit them for a couple days and check in on Ivan, and then I’ll be right back. When I return, we can talk about whether or not we should go testify.”
Blood rushed to her face. She had already decided she would travel to the capital, and now she realized she might have to do it without him. Part of her wanted to wish him luck on his journey, but most of her was terrified by the potential harm that could come to him while they were separated. She wanted to ask him either to stay or take her with him, but she couldn’t get the words out.
Roemell shuffled his feet behind her. “So, uh, I guess I’ll be going…”
She needed to tell him that she was concerned about his safety, that she didn’t know how to go on without him. Instead, she said, “Send Ivan my love.” She turned to look at him and forced a smile.
“You’re the best,” he said before giving her a brief hug, then turning and walking away.
From the kitchen door, she watched as he crossed the entrance hall and passed through the front door. If he had turned back, he would have seen the tears streaming down her face.
• • •
When Roemell finally made it to the settlement, the sun had already set. There was no bonfire, activity, or any other sign of life. He was actually relieved to find the settlement quiet with all the members fast asleep. This way, he could sneak in undetected. Each time he had left had been abrupt, without saying any goodbyes. His last departure had been to protect Leona, and the settlers despised her. They probably weren’t happy with him either.
There wasn’t anyone posted as a lookout, so Roemell had no problem slipping past the first row of tents to the center path which led through the heart of the community. The fourth tent on the right, a large green one, was Tammy’s. Once he was in front of the canvas structure, he wasn’t sure whether he should ring the bell to make his presence known and risk alerting the others, or if he should let himself in and possibly startle Tammy.
He gave the string of bells a gentle shake. After only a few seconds, he heard the click of a lamp, and then the door unzipped, leaving him face to face with Tammy.
Even with bags under her eyes and her normally sleek black hair in an unkempt mess, she was still stunning.
“Rommy? What the fuck?” she said. Her white blouse hung low, and she had a baby pressed against her breast. The infant was much bigger, and paler, than his nephew, but younger than Tammy’s son.
“Hey,” he said. He was suddenly nervous, afraid that she would turn him away before he could see Ivan. “I’m sorry about how I left… I wanted to come and see if you needed anything—and maybe check on Ivan, if that’s all right with you.”
She exhaled loudly, but stepped back to let him into her tent. “I’m used to you leaving without a word. To be honest, I wasn’t even surprised when I awoke one morning to find you suddenly gone. Again.”
“I’m so sor—”
She held up a hand. “Don’t. Don’t tell me how sorry you are. If you really want to make amends, you’ll stick around this time.”
He looked down at his feet. “I only have two days.”
She sighed and sat down on the cot she used for a bed. There were two cribs in the room; one held Archy, her son, and the other was occupied by Ivan, who was still tiny, but sleeping peacefully. She laid down, carefully positioning the third child next to her so the baby could easily nurse when hungry. “You’re welcome to sleep on the floor.”
He was tired and had hoped to catch up a little and visit with Ivan before he went to sleep. However, he knew he wasn’t in a position to make any requests, so he dutifully sat on the floor. Even though Tammy had her eyes closed, her short breaths let him know that she hadn’t yet fallen asleep. Every fiber of his being wanted to keep talking to her, but instead, he focused on Ivan, watching the baby sleep peacefully.
After a minute, Roemell sat up and turned off the lantern hanging from the top of the tent. Surrounded by darkness, all he could sense was the noisy breathing of the three babies surrounding him. After a couple of minutes, even Tammy’s breathing became slow and rhythmic as she fell asleep. He sighed and settled down on the thin rug which lined the floor of the tent. The least he could do was let her get some well-deserved rest.
• • •
The sound of an infant crying woke Roemell from a deep sleep. By the time he opened his eyes, Tammy was already up, leaning over the side of Ivan’s crib and scooping him into her arms. With the tiny baby tucked against her chest, she started humming a soothing tune while rocking him from side to side. Only after he’d calmed down a little did she allow him to nurse.
“You’re a natural at this,” Roemell said. “I think mothering was your calling.”
She didn’t respond, instead taking a seat on her cot as she continued singing a melody while Ivan ate. When he finished, pushing away from her with his tiny fists, she carefully positioned him next to her shoulder and firmly patted his back until he burped, then set him down in his crib. Although he was still alert, he lay there quietly, kicking his legs and staring up at the fabric ceiling.
Tammy sat down on the edge of her bed and let out a heavy sigh. “Eighteen months,” she said quietly.
“What?” Roemell asked, sitting up.
“Our child. She’d be eighteen months old now.”
“She?” So many questions raced through his head. The last time he had been at the settlement, Tammy had insisted Roemell wasn’t Archy’s father. He’d heard from Bennet that the child had been dumped by a traveler passing through, but had never thought about whether or not Tammy had given birth to her own child.
“We had a daughter.” Her face seemed to age as she frowned—the bags under her eyes appeared to darken and creases formed between her brows. “I named her Amelia, after my mother.”
He got up from the floor and took a seat next to Tammy. So many emotions and feelings rushed through his body, hitting him one after another after another. He was happy, sad, angry, confused, and everything in between. Although he wanted to wrap an arm around her and comfort her, he was too upset about the huge secret she had kept from him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She shook her head. “It took a while before I even realized I was pregnant. I was so terrified by the idea of having a baby, someone completely reliant on me. It’s such a huge responsibility. I wasn’t sure how to tell you, and then you suddenly disappeared, so I lost my chance.”
He knew having a kid was a life-changing event, and it would have made his difficult existence even harder. When he and Tammy had been in a relationship, they had been incredibly careful to prevent pregnancy, or at least as careful as two young people in love could be. “What happened to her?”
“She was stillborn.”
The silence between them seemed to stretch on forever. Roemell had fathered a child. It seemed unreal. He had never actually seen Tammy pregnant or witnessed the baby. To him, his child was only an idea, but knowing that he had lost her made him feel numb inside.
He expected her to tak
e it back, say the whole thing was just a joke, so they could laugh and forget about it. Instead, tears dripped down her face, and soon he was crying as well. They were tears of sympathy, sorrow, lost opportunities, and grief. His little girl could have grown up with Ivan, and the realization made Roemell even sadder, knowing that even his nephew would feel the loss.
After what felt like forever, Tammy turned to face him. “I never stopped caring for you.”
He didn’t know what to do. She seemed like a stranger, yet they had created—and lost—a life together. He had loved her once, so he reached over and took her hand in his, unsure whether it would help or not. It didn’t. He could still feel the gaping hole through his heart.
3
A DISTURBING QUIET settled on the house as soon as Roemell left. The charred curves of the concrete structure no longer felt like home, and Leona needed to get away from it as quickly as possible.
Instead of packing only what she needed, she hooked the cart containing all of their supplies to her bicycle and took the whole lot with her. The chickens had gotten out, and she had no idea where they were. It wasn’t worth the effort to look for them, so she decided to leave without them. They would probably be all right for a few days.
She loved having a robot at her disposal again, and she even gave it a nickname. She still didn’t understand why Roemell hated them so much, especially since they were incredibly useful. “Benobot, where is the Evanko family?”
The robot responded to the new name she had given it, saying, “All of the Evankos are currently staying at the Smith Estate.”
“All right, then let’s go to the Smith Estate.” She took a seat on top of the piles of stuff in the cart, letting Benobot pedal the bike. As they got underway, she started to wonder why the Smiths had opened their house to Ava’s family. Even though Ava Evanko was supposedly Leona’s best friend, when the Poole Estate had been attacked, leaving Leona homeless, Ava had refused to let Leona stay with her. Perhaps Leona should have kept traveling north, asking every acquaintance for a place to regroup. After the three attacks that had happened before her family was targeted, she hadn’t reached out or tried to help any of her displaced neighbors. Her stomach clenched—she didn’t deserve anyone’s hospitality.
The rhythmic bumping of the cart travelling down the road gradually lulled Leona to sleep, but even resting didn’t help quiet her mind. She kept imagining everyone she knew—her neighbors, Roemell, her mother, and even her father—telling her that she didn’t deserve anything. You should have died in the fire.
She woke with a start. It took a minute for the visions of her nightmare to fade and her surroundings to sink in. “How much farther?” she asked.
There was a pause before the robot calculated a response. “We are almost there, Miss Leona. I predict we should arrive in fifteen more minutes.”
She sighed and tried to settle back down into the cart. Her muscles hurt from napping in such an awkward position among the various cans and boxes in the small wagon. “Please let them know I’ll be there soon.”
“Of course. I will announce your intended visit immediately.”
She tried not to think of all the nasty things Ava might say to her when she arrived at the Smith house; however, every possible negative scenario played through Leona’s mind. By the time the bike came to a stop and Benobot announced, “We have arrived, Miss Leona,” her entire body was paralyzed with fear. She took a shaky breath before climbing out of her cramped quarters in the cart.
Her new android walked ahead of her as she hung back and looked up at the enormous mansion—the Smith’s main house. While her old house had been a cement palace of sweeping curves, the building before her was a white marble monolith. It was decorated with ornate columns and elegant statues depicting naked women and children. Under any other circumstances, the gentle trickle of water splashing in the fountain to her left would have been calming.
Benobot stood silently at the enormous white entryway. A second later, the door swung open to reveal a server bot. This one was also styled to appear more human-like with rubberized skin, a neatly styled wig, and a sleek tuxedo. In a jerking motion, it turned its head to focus its brown optic pair on her. “Miss Leona, please come in. Mr., Mrs., and Master Smith, along with Miss Evanko are waiting in the sunroom. I shall announce your entrance.”
Before she could protest—and ask the android to give her a moment so she could wash the dust off her face and change into fresh clothes—it whisked open the door to her left. “Presenting Miss Leona Poole.” Four people sat stiffly in delicate upholstered seats, all staring at Leona.
She glanced at the service bot then Benobot before stepping into the room. The wall facing the front of the house was composed entirely of tall windows which let the sunlight stream in from between the imposing columns outside, causing stripes of intense brightness to slash through the room. The furniture was all made of pale wood with yellow, floral fabric lining the seat cushions and pillows. There were vertical stripes painted on the walls in white and yellow.
Her friend Ava, whose fiery red hair practically glowed in the luminous room, sat next to Roger Smith, the eldest son of the Smith family. He was a striking young man with dark features. Both were formally dressed, him in a neatly pressed shirt and suit, and her wearing a long gown in a light shade of blue. His hand crept onto her thigh, though she quickly swatted it away.
“Miss Poole. To be honest, I was quite surprised when I learned of your intended visit,” Mrs. Smith said. The woman was rather large, barely fitting into her tiny chair, though she was immaculately dressed in a stiff fuchsia gown. She had the same tanned complexion, brown eyes, and thick black hair as her son.
“Please, call me Leona. I, uh…” she trailed off, not sure what exactly to say. “I wanted to check on Ava, make sure she’s doing all right.”
“I’m fine,” Ava said quickly. Roger’s wandering fingers crept onto her thigh again, and this time she gripped his hand and held it down and away from her leg. A forced smile spread across her face. “Audry and Watkins have been incredibly kind to my family in supporting us after our home was attacked.” Roger leaned close to her and whispered something in her ear, which made her fake smile falter.
They all continued to stare at Leona, who turned around and saw Benobot standing just inside the door. She sorely wished that Roemell could have been with her for moral support.
Roger stood and walked over to Leona, then firmly gripped her shoulders as he stared into her face. He was at least a foot taller than her, and she felt like a child under his scrutinizing stare. “Any friend of Ava’s is a friend of mine,” he declared. Unable to maintain eye contact with his intense gaze, she looked down at the collar of his shirt, studying the top button. “I’m aware you need to travel to the capital soon, but please stay—”
“Yes,” Watkins interrupted, “you are welcome to stay for dinner. I’m afraid we have a full house already with Ava and her family temporarily residing here.” The patriarch of the Smith family was tall and lean like his son and wore a matching suit.
“Father,” Roger chastised. “Surely you won’t make Leona travel after dark! Did you see that contraption she came here on? I’m sure Ava wouldn’t mind letting her friend sleep in her room.”
Mr. and Mrs. Smith exchanged a glance, then Mrs. Smith said, “One night, if it’s all right with Ava.”
Ava stood, a relieved look crossing her feature. “Of course. It’s so lovely to see you again, Leona. Come, let’s get ready for dinner.” She gripped Leona’s arm, pulling her away from Roger’s firm grasp, and led her out of the room.
As soon as they had crossed through the entrance hall and were in what appeared to be a study, Ava hissed, “Why did you come here? You have no idea what these people are like.”
Leona’s family had barely interacted with the Smiths, but she could tell Ava’s warning was serious. Leona whispered, “I need to talk to you about something.”
Ava shrugged her shoulders. �
�Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Walking so fast that Leona had to jog to keep up, Ava led the way through the mansion to the bedroom wing and into her current accommodations.
The palatial room Ava was staying in was much nicer than a typical guest room. There was a sitting area and an enormous bed draped in burgundy velvet curtains. “The bathroom’s over here,” Ava said as she crossed under an arched doorway and into a yellow-tiled room.
Leona raised her arms over her head and breathed a sigh of relief as a pair of companion bots—androids which were styled to look like human maids—removed both women’s clothing. Soon, they were surrounded with fragrant steam as robots scrubbed their skin with a soapy solution.
“God, I’ve missed this,” Leona said as her bot worked its way down her body, cleaning away a week’s worth of grime.
Ava stepped out of the cloud of steam, and her android wrapped a fluffy towel around her. “Where have you been staying? I can’t think of a single place that doesn’t have a shower, bathtub, or some other way to bathe.”
“At the burnt remains of my house, but only after I was run out of a vagrant settlement.”
Ava’s eyes widened as she took a seat. The shower had washed away her makeup, revealing an almost completely healed black eye. Leona had initially asked to stay with Ava’s family after her home had burned down, but Ava had refused, resulting in Roemell punching her in the face. Even though Ava’s injury looked painful, Leona didn’t feel particularly bad about her friend’s bruise.
“Oh my God, Leona! A settlement? Why would you stay in a place like that?”
Leona’s android gestured at a stool, and she took a seat while the robot started working a comb through her hair. “I didn’t have a lot of options. No one opened up their home to me.”
