by R. D. Hunter
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It had been a tough day, with the attack from Lawson just being the cherry on top.
I was exhausted, physically and mentally. There were exams I should have been studying for and I was pretty sure I had a paper due, but Jenny wouldn’t hear of it. She sat on top of my stack of books until I relented and went to bed. Sleep was elusive, though.
Another empath like me. I suppose it had to happen sooner or later. But nowhere in my 24 years of life had I encountered another. We were rare; an endangered species.
But was he like me? I’d never shown any sign of being able to influence another person’s emotional state. There were plenty of times when I wished that I could, but that was pure fantasy. This guy, Jonah, he was the real thing. He’d planted a seed of doubt in Lawson’s psyche, then fertilized it until it bloomed into pure, animalistic terror.
Did I really want that kind of power? I could barely handle my empathic abilities as they were. How different would it be if I had to worry about accidentally sending someone into a full blown rage or maybe a deep depression?
On the other hand, this could be just the ticket I needed to allay some of the fears of the residents. It was their fear of retaliation that was keeping their mouths closed, not that I could blame them.
But if I could somehow wipe away their anxiety, maybe tone it down a little, that could loosen a few tongues. This could be just what I needed to start making some headway in this investigation.
If nothing else, it would be nice actually talking with someone who knew what I went through on a daily basis. Even if he couldn’t teach me how to do what he did, he might have some tricks or pointers on how to better control it. After so long dealing with this curse, he had to have something up his sleeve.
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With that in mind, I finally found sleep. I kept a lookout all the next day for Jonah, but he didn’t materialize until after lunch. I had just finished cleaning up one of the residents when I heard his squeaky wheel chair coming down the hallway. A second later, the old man cruised into view. He spent a second glaring around the dayroom. No one met his eye. Then he rolled over to one of the large windows and looked out at the thick forest.
I finished what I was doing and came over to stand behind him.
“What do you want?” he asked without turning around.
I swallowed. He’d sensed me coming without ever laying eyes on me. “I just wanted to thank you for what you did yesterday. You saved my life.”
Now he turned around and scowled at me from behind bushy eyebrows. “Is that why you’re jumpier than a turkey in November? Spit it out, Girl. I ain’t got all day.”
“It’s just…you’re like me. I’ve never met another empath before. Are there a lot of us?”
“A few.”
“Why doesn’t the world know about us? I mean, our condition is listed in books under ‘fictional psychological ailments.’”
“’Cause most of us go mad and end up in the nut house before adulthood or else take the easy way out.” He mimed putting a gun up to his head and pulling the trigger.
“That’s not the easy way out,” I said hotly. “That’s the coward’s way out. A way to give up and leave everything and everyone behind.” I was flushed and sweating. My face was hot and my hands were shaking.
Suicide was a sore topic for me. I’d come close to it a couple times myself when
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my condition started developing. It was only when someone I was close to, someone I loved, did the deed that I threw all notions of it in the trash.
Jonah waved a hand and I felt my anger start to slide away. No way. Not this time. I held on to it with all my strength. Stoking the fires back up until they crackled and popped inside my head. I felt a tiny spark of surprise from the old man.
“Well, well, you do have some spunk in you,” he said. “I thought all you could do was get locked in freezers and wait to be rescued.”
“I want you to teach me how to do what you did,” I said, letting go of some of my anger. “Teach me how to control my abilities.”
“No.”
“Why not.”
“Because I said no,” he said turning his back to me again. This signaled the conversation was over, but I wasn’t done yet. I grabbed his wheelchair and spun him around to face me again.
Jonah’s eyes grew wide for a second then let go with a blast of such hot fury that I staggered a few steps back.
“Watch yourself, Girl,” he growled. “I may be lame of leg, but I’m not helpless, as you should know by now.”
“I never thought you were,” I gasped, still shying back from the emotional heat he was putting out. “I just need you to help me. To help everyone.”
The heat subsided and I took a shaky breath. A few people were looking our way, but I managed to smile and wave and they went back to their board games.
“What do you mean?” Jonah asked.
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“You know what’s going on around here. I have some important friends who want me to get to the bottom of it. But I can’t do anything if no one will talk to me, and everyone is too afraid to open up. I need you to teach me how to make that fear go away.
How to put people at ease so they’ll tell me what’s in their hearts.”
“Hmph! Why should I care? If they’re too chicken shit to stand up for themselves, then they deserve what they get.”
I felt my pulse start to quicken again but held it down. “That’s not true,” I said.
“You do care. That’s why you led me to Mr. Burleson on my first day.”
He shook his head. “Wasn’t me.”
“Yes it was. Mr. Burleson was so out of it he didn’t know where he was or what he was doing. There was no way he could generate the kind of misery it would take to trip my senses from so far away. It was you. And it was you who calmed me down and helped me focus on the night Ruby died. I’d have never picked up the trail if it wasn’t for you.” I stepped closer and crouched down until we were face to face. “I think you do care. I think you care about everyone in this place and have been doing everything you could to help them from behind the scenes.” I put one hand on top of his. He twitched, but allowed the small contact. “Thank you. But it’s time to step up. Things are spinning out of control here. You can feel it. If things don’t change, there’ll be more deaths and more suffering.”
That was my best shot. I knew he could feel the sincerity flowing from me through our touch, but would it be enough? I wouldn’t bully him. Although I was desperate for his help, I wouldn’t badger him until he relented. He’d either agree to help me now, or that would be end of it. I’d had my say.
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I got mixed feelings from him while he considered everything I‘d said. It seemed to take hours, but was only a few seconds before he sighed and said, “Wheel me outside.
We might as well get started.”
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Chapter Nineteen
We went out back into the old courtyard. It was probably beautiful once. An old fountain, long dried up, stood in the center. There were benches and neglected outdoor furniture everywhere and the remains of a garden that had descended into a tangle of weeds and snarls. I sat down on one of the more sturdy looking chairs and waited anxiously to begin.
“Calm down,” my instructor said.
“I am calm.”
“No you’re not. Your hearts about to jump out your chest and do a tap dance.
Lesson one; if you can’t control your own emotions, you won’t be able to control anyone else’s. Now calm down.”
I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. He was right. My heart was beating fast. I was excited about being so close to another empath. I was thrilled that he was going to teach me. And I was scared to death I wouldn’t be able to master his lessons and he’d wheel off in disgust.
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tingale / 130
I shrugged all these thoughts to the side. They were heavy and they went reluctantly. But I’d always been more in tune with my emotions than most other people.
These were mine and I was the master of them. When I opened my eyes, Jonah nodded in approval.
“Good. Now we can begin.”
“Okay. So how do we do this?” I asked.
“We don’t do anything. I already know how to do it. This is all you.”
I tried to suppress my frustration, knowing he would feel it. “Well can you at least tell me where to start?”
“Start by finding a test subject. People are complex and irrational things. Their emotions are all over the place. Start with something smaller.” He gestured towards some of the shrubbery a few yards away. “That squirrel in them bushes will do.”
“I don’t see a squirrel,” I said. It was true. As far as I could tell, there was no movement of any kind in the underbrush.
Jonah let out an exasperated sigh and I felt little fireworks of annoyance spark off him. “Neither do I, Girl. But we don’t need to see it to know it’s there, do we?”
He was right. Every living thing gives off emotions, even if it’s only on an instinctual level. By keeping myself open, I’d be able to tell where things were without ever laying eyes on them. It wasn’t as accurate as a GPS, but still pretty damn good.
A foolish grin began to spread across my face at this new possibility. If I learned to do this right, I could never be taken by surprise again. I’d know Lawson was coming before he ever got close.
Jonah shook his head in amazement. “God, Girl, you really ain’t got a clue, do
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you?”
“It’s not my fault,” I shot back. “There isn’t exactly a how-to manual for this kind of stuff.” I’d looked.
“You don’t need one! Your instincts are so sharp they could split nails. Listen to
‘em.”
I didn’t want to listen to my instincts. Instincts are fallible. The first time I’d listened to them, I’d ended up trusting a man who first tried to exploit me and later tried to kill me. Me and instincts had issues with one another.
Jonah eyed me like he knew what I was thinking. Hell, maybe he did. There was no telling how developed his abilities were.
“You have to trust yourself, Girl. If you don’t, there’s no way you’re gonna be able to pull this off. We might as well go back inside.”
I took a deep breath and shoved my doubts way down in the pit of my stomach.
“So what do I do?”
“First, find the squirrel.”
I closed my eyes and started paying attention to what was around me. It’s impossible to block out my empathic abilities. They’re as constant as a toothache.
Over time, though, I learned I could tune out the majority of outside emotions.
Only the intense ones or those directed at me were enough to turn my head.
Jonah was asking me to take in everything. Every urge, every flight of fancy, every irrational twinge. It was like being asked to stick my hand in a dark hole. It could contain a gold nugget or a venomous snake ready to strike.
Slowly, everything came into focus. There was Jonah, right across from me.
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Impassive. Waiting to see what happened.
A few insects flitted about the air between us. Their faint presence marked by a simple desire to feed and procreate. Not all that different from some of the men I’d dated.
Sunny Pines rested behind us, the same mass of gloom and depression I’d felt on my first day. Now, though, there was an undercurrent of stress. I was pretty sure I knew the cause.
I reached out further, really letting my guard down now. I felt vulnerable and exposed, but pushed those feelings aside and carried on.
There, just behind me and to the left. I sensed a ball of stress and curiosity that could only be the squirrel. It was on the verge of retreating, but was reluctant to leave because this place held some of the best foraging in the forest. Apparently some of the residents snuck out here from time to time and threw out snacks for the wildlife.
“Got it,” I said, keeping my voice low.
“Good. Now, you have to get on its wavelength.”
“How do I do that? Start collecting acorns?”
“Don’t be a smartass,” Jonah growled. “Focus on it. Feel everything it feels.”
I did as he asked. The squirrel was jumpy, as might be expected. It didn’t like being this close to humans. It was ready to bolt at the slightest sign we were heading in its direction. It was curious too. Did we have food? Food would be good.
My hands started shaking and I was aware of my feet tapping the ground. I was a ball of nervous energy, just like the squirrel. I wanted to run, to climb trees and hide at the first approach of danger. It was all I could do to sit still.
“Easy, Girl. Now you gotta bring him down. Take some of that fear and wipe it
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away. Make the squirrel come to us.”
I tried. I really did. I tried sending a message of friendship. Tried making it seem like we were other squirrels, ready for a romp in the woods. Nothing worked.
I thought I was on to something there for a second. I felt some of the fear draining away and my feet stopped wanting to run off on their own. Jonah’s sharp remand brought me back to the task at hand.
“No! You’re backing off. You have to stay with the thing you’re connected to if you want to influence it.”
He was right. Now that I was paying attention, I knew what I’d done. I focused on the squirrel again. It was still there, still jumpy.
“Now ease it down,” Jonah’s voice came to me from far away. “Don’t try to erase it. Just take some of the bite out of it.”
“Some of the bite. Got it.” With this in mind, I tried a different tact. I focused on the main part of the squirrel’s anxiety. It was right up out front, and it wasn’t hard to find.
It was survival instinct, pure and simple. It trumped everything else in the squirrel’s world. That was what I had to relax.
Now that I knew the key motivation behind the squirrel’s behavior, it wasn’t hard.
Once that was done, I focused on keying down the little guy’s overactive instincts one step at a time, until I finally started to feel some progress.
Curiosity came to the forefront. Maybe we did have food? Maybe that’s why we were sitting here so long, just waiting for a young squirrel to show up and take it from us.
The squirrel eased forward a couple of steps. I heard the bushes rustle from a seemingly great distance as it parted the leaves to get a better view of us.
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“Good,” Jonah said. “You’re doing it. Now bring it on in.”
I was doing it! I was really doing it! Excitement flooded me and, just like that, the connection was broken. The squirrel came back to its senses with a rush of dismay and bounded off into the forest in a full-blown panic.
I sagged on the bench, every muscle in my body crying out with fatigue. “What the hell just happened?” I asked after a few seconds.
“What should have happened,” Jonah answered. He sounded far from happy about it. “You did it, at least until you got all skittish and lost control.” He pulled out a flask from somewhere on his wheelchair and offered me a sip. I accepted it without thinking and took a long swallow.
Fire raced down my throat and filled my stomach with liquid fire. I gasped and gagged, then spent the next minute or so trying to cough my intestines out through my nose.
“What is that stuff?” I asked with tears still in my eyes.
“That’s the good stuff.” He took a deep swallow himself and closed his eyes as if savoring it. “It’ll put hair on your nuts.” He put it away and turned around to go back inside.
“Wait! Where are you going?”
He didn’t look back. “You
asked me to show you how I did it. I showed you. The rest is up to you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m missing my favorite TV show.”
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Chapter Twenty
I felt far from accomplished by the time I got home. Jenny was waiting for me in the kitchen and the smell of her pot roast was heavenly.
“How was your first lesson with Yoda?” she asked.
“Much to learn, I have. We got any ice cream?”
Jenny eyed me suspiciously. “Have you been drinking?”
“Only a little. Just to put hair on my nuts.” I told her the whole disastrous story over dinner. When it was over, she surprised me by nodding her head vigorously.
“So what’s the problem? Sounds like you did great.”
I stopped clearing the table to stare at her. “Are you kidding me? I couldn’t even influence a small rodent without making it run for the hills. How am I going to set a human being at ease?” I clenched a napkin up in a tight fist. “God, I hate that damn squirrel.”
“Calm down, Terminator. Jonah showed you what to do, right? All you have to do now is practice. I’ll even be your guinea pig.”
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So that became our routine. For the next week, we would come home from Sunny Pines, eat a hasty supper, then spend the rest of the evening with me trying to make Jenny laugh.
Amusement is easy to define and easy to gauge. It’s primitive and joyous, and there’s something about laughter that sets the mind free. At first, there was nothing. We spent the first two nights staring at each other in silence and I wasn’t able to lure so much as a chuckle from my normally light-hearted roommate.
Then, finally, Eureka! I was thinking about every Jim Carry movie I’d ever seen.
All his funny antics and how it made me feel inside. I imagined myself projecting those feelings into Jenny and, for the first time, a wide grin split her face.
I remembered my mistake with the squirrel and instantly stifled the stab of excitement that threatened to overrun my control. I focused harder on that grin, making it widen until finally Jenny’s shoulders began to shake with suppressed laughter. After a few seconds, her face was turning red and tears were streaming down her face. At last, she gave up and peals of laughter rolled out of her and into me. Before long, we were both rolling in the floor and it was several minutes before we could recover enough to stand.
