by B. J Daniels
Which meant he had to swallow that attraction, and act as though she were anyone else. Anyone else he would offer this to. So he stood and thrust his gun to his hip holster, where it would remain in easy reach. He took the gun she’d been carrying all this time from her shaking fingers and set it behind them. If they showed up, the shooters from the cabin would be unable to sneak around them, and the weapon would be within easy reach.
He steeled himself for what he knew would be a shock of arousal and need, and drew her into the circle of his arms.
She shook there, and he thought she might have cried. Just a little bit of a sob. Against his shoulder. It was strange to feel capable in that moment. To feel like the Ranger he’d been trained to be.
But for the first time in a long time, with Natalie in his arms, he felt in control of the situation. Because he would do anything in his power to protect her.
And that was going to be everything.
* * *
Natalie didn’t love that she was crying, but it couldn’t be helped. It wasn’t like she was going to get any privacy to do it any time soon.
Might as well get it out now while there weren’t people directly after them. Just indirectly, at some point, in the future. Probably. Did they have another few days? Or were they going have to camp in the mountains for weeks?
She couldn’t bring herself to ask Vaughn any of those questions because he always answered them either far too truthfully, or not at all. So she focused on evening her breathing and getting rid of the tears, and finding that inner strength that had gotten her this far.
As she slowly calmed herself, she realized that Vaughn was rubbing his hand up and down her back. It reminded her of the night of the fire, the way he’d put that competent, strong hand on her back and it had been an odd comfort. But it hadn’t been personal.
This felt personal. Intimate.
She wasn’t crying anymore. No, she was absorbing. The strength and warmth of Vaughn, his arms around her, and the gentle, soothing motion of his hand up and down her spine.
It didn’t make camping in a cave any more appealing, but it made it a little less daunting. Vaughn would keep her safe. That she knew.
She sighed, and relaxed. Into him, into the embrace. He didn’t stiffen against it. Instead, he softened. Vaughn Cooper softening against her. She smiled and burrowed in deeper. Holding him closer.
“I’m going to get you out of this in one piece,” he said, his voice a fierce whisper. “One way or another.”
“Are you supposed to make impossible promises like that?” she asked, listening to the steady, reassuring beat of his heart.
“I shouldn’t,” he said, sounding a little disgusted with himself. “But you should know that I’m going to do whatever it takes. I know I can’t tell you not to worry, but I can try to give you some comfort.”
She looked up at him, still in the warm embrace of his arms. She smiled, and it was odd that she could do that in this situation, but something about his fervent need to make her feel safe, made her feel just that. Maybe safe was an exaggeration, but she felt like there was a chance they’d survive this. A good one. Because she trusted Vaughn to do exactly as he said.
“How much distraction would it be if you kissed me?”
Some of that softness left him, a tension creeping into the set of his body. “Natalie...”
She wouldn’t be so easily deterred. “I’m just saying that if you want me to feel safe, that would probably do it.”
He exhaled something like a laugh.
Then he did the strangest, most unexpected thing. He actually kissed her. Lowering his mouth to hers, something gentle and sweet. The antithesis of the hot and wild thing that had passed between them earlier. This was a comfort, and that made her heart shudder with things she had no business feeling. And yet, she didn’t want to stop feeling them.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, pressing herself more firmly against him.
His arm pulled her tighter to him, and one hand came up to cup her neck. The warmth of his hand there, the pressure of it, the heat of his mouth and the way his tongue traced her lips and then entered. It was soft and comforting, but it was also more. It was hot and searing. It was a revelation, because she’d never had anything like this. It was fire and sweetness, it was passion and comfort. It was everything she wanted, and all she’d had to do was ask.
She stroked her fingers over his short hair and then down his neck. She wanted to somehow know him. The shape of him. The feel of him. She wanted to understand the texture of his hair, the path of his skin. She wanted more.
That hit her. She wanted more. She wanted it all. She didn’t care that they were in a cave somewhere. She didn’t care that horrible people were after her. Because everything had been going wrong for so long that she just wanted more of this thing that didn’t feel wrong.
She wanted good. She wanted Vaughn.
She trailed her hands down his chest. The soft cotton of the T-shirt he wore did nothing to hide what compact, lean muscle he was. Everything about him was hard. Strong. But she thought maybe, just maybe, there was some softness under there. In the way he wanted to protect her, in the way his mouth explored hers.
Even if there was no gentleness in him, he used his strength as a kind of softness. He was a protector, and that was his gentleness. She admired that. Deeply.
“Natalie...”
He didn’t have to speak further, she could feel him pulling back, if not physically, mentally.
She clutched him tighter, not willing to let this go. She’d sacrifice her pride for this. “No, don’t.”
“For every minute we spend doing this, we are putting ourselves in danger. Every minute one of us isn’t watching the cave entrance and paying attention to our surroundings, we are increasing the danger that we are in. Exponentially.”
“I don’t care.” She knew that was stupid, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Her care was worn out and afraid and tired. “We’re already in danger, what’s a little more?”
She trailed her hand farther down his chest, across the clear indentation of his abs, doing something far bolder and more brazen than she’d ever done. Something she almost couldn’t believe she was doing herself.
She placed her palm over the hard length of his erection.
He groaned, sounding tortured and desperate. She smiled, not minding making him tortured or desperate in the least.
“My job is to keep you safe. I can’t... Do that...”
“Right now I want your job to be to make me forget. I want to forget I’m scared. I want to forget my life was burned to the ground. I want to forget that I’m on the run and in danger. I want to forget that my sister’s missing and there has been nothing I could do about it for years upon years. Vaughn, I want to forget. Let me forget.”
She traced the hard length of him, and his grip on her tightened.
“It would be a dereliction of my duty...”
“Derelict with me. Please.” She stepped back from the tight embrace of his arms, and he let her. Probably thinking that that was going to be it. That she had come to her senses. But that was the absolute last thing she had come to. She pulled the T-shirt over her head and tossed it toward the backpacks on the ground.
“Natalie.” His voice was all gravel, but his eyes were hot and on her.
“I want you, Vaughn. I don’t care where we are, what it takes. I want this, and it’s been so long since I’ve had anything I wanted.”
She could tell he was fighting a war with his conscience, so she did her best to win it for her side. She shimmied out of the shorts she’d been wearing. Because the ground was rocky, she left her shoes on. It was probably a ridiculous sight, her in her underwear and tennis shoes. Based on Vaughn’s tense reaction, she thought she was getting her point across, though.
He took a
step toward her, and because she couldn’t quite read his expression, whether he was going to insist she put her clothes back on or possibly do it for her, whether he was going to give in to touch her, she held out a hand to stop him.
“No, no, no. Lose your shirt and pants first.”
He stood there, a solid wall of granite. The fact he was even standing there, even debating, was a triumph. It was a win.
He clenched his fingers into fists and then relaxed them, and they went to the hem of his shirt. She exhaled the breath she’d been holding. She was fairly sure that as he lifted his shirt over his head, she whimpered.
He was... Perfection. He had abs and muscles and was just this powerfully broad man whose impressive upper body narrowed to mouthwatering lean hips. She wanted to trace each cut and dip. Possibly with her tongue.
“Pants too,” she said, though it was really more of a squeak than her voice.
Again there was a moment of pause. As though he couldn’t believe he was doing this. But that didn’t stop him. Thank goodness, it didn’t stop him. He undid the button of his jeans and then the zipper and pushed them down. Underneath he wore a loose pair of black boxer shorts, but as loose as they were, she could still see the evidence of his arousal. She could see everything. And he was gorgeous and perfect and she wanted nothing more than to be underneath him. Or on top of him. Or both, alternating.
“Am I allowed to approach now?” he asked, the gravel still in his voice, but a hint of humor underneath.
She opened her mouth to say yes. In her mind she said the word regally and coolly. As though she were in control of the situation, as though she were in control of the rioting sparks inside her. In reality, nothing came out of her too-tight throat, and she just had to nod.
When Vaughn grinned at her—at her—nothing else mattered. Not the danger they were in, not what might happen afterward. All that mattered was him and now.
He took a step toward her, but his hands didn’t reach out to touch. He stood so they were still a couple inches from being toe to toe. He looked at her, right in the eye. It felt more intimate than standing there in her underwear. The fact that he was looking at her, seemed to look into her. That was... Somehow huge and emotional.
“We’re going to move a little deeper into the cave. That’ll be a safer option. We’ll have more of a warning if something happens.”
“Remember when I said you were so very conventional?”
“I’m a man, Natalie. But I am a man determined to keep you safe, no matter what.”
“Are you at least also a man determined to make love to me, not just take off his clothes?”
For the first time since this whole thing had gone wildly out of control, he didn’t hesitate. “Yes. More than determined.”
It was her turn to grin, and she helped him gather all of their stuff, and even though they were each holding weapons and had backpacks strapped to their bare backs, bundles of clothes in their arms, he held her hand.
He led her farther into the cave, having already pulled the flashlight out of his pack. She tried not to think too deeply about him searching every nook and cranny, and what might be hiding in any of those little places. But he found a little...corner almost, that gave them something like a wall between them and the opening of the cave.
“It’ll keep us out of sight, but you’re going to have to be quiet.”
She giggled at that. How had they gone from running from men with guns to...quietly having sex in a cave?
“What a shame.”
“The only shame is that I can’t see you.”
Those words clutched around her heart and her lungs. She could scarcely suck in the breath to tell him that... She didn’t know what she wanted to tell him. She didn’t recognize this overfull feeling in her chest. Excitement and lust or something more? She wasn’t sure she wanted to delve too far into that possibility.
So she simply held her arms open for him, and he stepped inside. His mouth took hers, his body took hers, and she gave. Everything she had. In a way she never would’ve imagined. But knowing she had so little, and there was so much against her, it made her open up in a way she’s always been scared to.
Because for the first time in her life, she really had nothing to lose. Okay, maybe her life, but she wasn’t so sure she was in control of that.
This, she was in control of. Or at least partially in control of.
Vaughn’s hands touched her gently and reverently, as though he was trying to find just where she like to be touched. Just where to stroke to make her forget where the hell they were.
In a cave. On the run. Giving themselves to each other. She couldn’t think of anyone she’d rather give herself to, and she had the sneaking suspicion that had very little to do with the danger they were in.
Chapter 13
There was the smallest voice in the back of Vaughn’s head telling him to stop this madness. But Natalie was nearly naked, all smooth skin and tantalizing curves in the not-at-all-sufficient flashlight beam. Everything about her was like a soft place to land, and the last thing he should be doing right now was landing. He should be leading and fighting and protecting.
But the driving need of his body had taken over. He wanted Natalie as his. No matter how he tried to tell himself that it was wrong, or the wrong time, or some other combination of those things, it got lost somewhere. Usually about the time he had to actually consider taking his mouth from hers, or his hands from her body. He couldn’t stand the thought.
Especially when her mouth was so sweet under his, and her hands were so determined to explore him. She seemed to touch every piece of him. A finger traced the scar on his shoulder from a stab wound he’d gotten undercover. She poked her finger into the dip of his hip. But the most brain melting was the fact that she kept arching against him, a slow, sensuous rhythm that made him completely crazy. Incapable of thinking of anything else but being inside her.
He had no business thinking that or wanting that or most especially doing that. At this point, he didn’t know how he’d ever stop.
He undid the snap of her bra and slowly drew the fabric down her shoulders and arms. He exhaled, surprised to find it shaky. Surprised to find how much she affected him.
“Are you cold?” he murmured as she shivered now that she was bare from the waist up.
“No,” she returned.
“Are you scared?” he asked, rubbing his hands up her arms, trying to infuse some calm, some surety.
“No.” This time she said it on a laugh. “It feels good. All of it.” Those dark, meaningful eyes peered into his. Her smile was like the gift of sunshine after weeks of darkness. Perhaps months or years, because he had been unwittingly, unknowingly in a period of darkness. Something about Natalie lightened him, even in the middle of all this mess.
“So, I don’t know how much you’re going to want to hear this, but I happened to see a packet of condoms in your sister’s backpack when you handed it to me. So... You know.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “Can you rephrase that in a way that I don’t have to think about the fact my sister has condoms in her backpack?”
“Why? Do you think she’s too young to use them?”
“No, regardless of whether she should or not, the last thing I want to consider right now is my sister having sex. Period. With anyone. Especially in the cabin that we share.”
“Okay. New story—I just love carrying condoms around in my purse.”
He laughed, and shook his head. “I just haven’t...”
She raised her eyebrows, and he realized this was a conversation he did not want to get into right now. Right here. It was too close to a truth he was still trying to bottle up. The fact he hadn’t slept with anyone since his ex-wife.
The fact he hadn’t wanted to, that he’d thrown his life into police work just like Jenny had always accused him of.
> That wanting this, Natalie, here, now, it all meant something.
But there was too much at stake for that meaning to be dissected in the here and now. “We’ll have plenty of time to converse after. Let’s not waste our present.”
“Take off your underwear, and I might be inclined to agree with you.” She grinned, all jokes and fun in the midst of this awful situation for her.
“Grab a condom from your purse. I’ll lay out some blankets.”
She gave a little nod and bent over the pink sparkly backpack. Vaughn focused on the tempting curve of her backside over where she was obtaining the condoms from. When she turned back to him, she cocked her head.
“Where are the blankets?”
“Sorry, I was distracted.”
She smirked and rolled her eyes. “Then I guess turnabout is fair play. Please bend over and retrieve the blankets,” she said with a regal lift of her hand.
He chuckled, but he did exactly as she asked. She made a considering sound, and he didn’t waste any time retrieving the blankets. Both pieces of fabric were lightweight backpacking blankets that wouldn’t do much to protect Natalie from the harsh, hard ground, but it would keep them from rolling around in rocks and dirt.
Rolling around in rocks and dirt. While armed and dangerous criminals were probably after them. “Are you sure—”
“I simply won’t take no for an answer, Vaughn,” she said primly. “Don’t make me say it again.”
He promised himself he wouldn’t. He would make sure they both enjoyed this. That they would get everything they needed out of it, and when they had to face whatever they had to face tomorrow morning, they would do it together. Both having had this moment. This coming together.
He crossed to her and took her mouth. No preamble, losing some of the gentleness that had held him back earlier. He wanted. She wanted. It was time to take—and give.
