Jane was silent for a few moments before she answered, “I will hear your apology, sir.”
“I know there is no good excuse for the way I acted last November. I regretted it almost immediately but did not return because I was convinced you were not truly interested in me – only in being well married.”
“Therefore, you believed that my interest in you was purely mercenary.”
Looking abashed, Bingley responded, “I now know how foolish an assumption it was, but your mother was clearly so determined that you should favor me, I began to think perhaps my sisters were correct when they told me you were only showing your favor at her insistence. It took me a while to decide how foolish that assumption was, but by then I thought it was too late. I had probably lost your good opinion forever. However, last week Darcy gave me some hope there might still be a chance for us; therefore, I had to return and determine if there was.”
Jane was silent for a minute or two, considering her response. “Mr. Bingley, I am going to speak in a manner which is difficult for me, but I think I have learned much from our earlier acquaintance. When you left, I was devastated. My primary purpose for going to London was to see you and determine what I had done wrong. When your sisters and I visited, and I still did not hear from you, I thought you had decided I was not suitable for you, and that angered me. I very seldom become angry. Lizzy will probably tell you I rarely become truly angry, but I did become angry at you, and it is hard for me to let go of that anger. I believed I would be very good for you, and you for me, and somehow you decided, or someone helped you decide, such was not the case. I am very disappointed you were so unsure of your feelings and mine that you would leave like that. I will be blunt, which, again, I rarely am. My opinion of you is not as high as it was, and I do not know if I can regain the level of affection I had for you.”
Bingley had feared just such a situation. He had acted stupidly and unmanly. How could he let his sisters manipulate him so? Had he learned nothing the four years he had known Darcy? Could he regain what had been lost? Did he even want to try? But then he realized it was the old Bingley speaking – the one he was determined he would no longer be. He had run from disappointment and shirked responsibility. He now knew Jane had strength of will, something he had not recognized in her before, and he admired her for it. Could he convince her he was a different man? He shook his head. Could he convince himself he was a different man?
Finally, after walking in silence for some time, he responded, “I can understand why you would feel that way. I can only admit I acted stupidly and ungentlemanly. You say you have learned much. I believe I have also. I have finally taken control of the situation in my family. Caroline will no longer have any influence on me. I now understand I often shirked responsibility and refused to face disappointment. If you would be willing, I would like to court you – informally if that is what you require. I would like to try to make you regain the feelings you once had for me. You are the finest woman I have ever known, and I want to prove to you I can be a man you desire.”
“That looks like a very serious conversation ahead of us,” said Elizabeth. “I believe Jane has changed, and I suspect she is doing something she rarely did in the past – she is telling him she is upset and disappointed in him. You asked me her reaction. It was that she was not sure that she wanted to marry someone as unsure of his feelings as he was, who could be convinced by others she had no feelings for him. I will be interested in seeing how he responds to what she says.”
“I have talked to him the last few days, and I believe he is going to be more forthcoming about his feelings and failures. I have hopes it may work out for them. They are both deserving people.”
“They are. Are you here to give him support? Does he still feel he needs your approval?”
“I am here to give him support, but he does not need my approval. However, I am sure you know I am here primarily because Georgiana and I wanted to see you again. You gave me an opening when you said I could call on you if we happened to be in the same place at the same time; therefore, I thought it best to arrange for that to happen.”
She laughed. “Well, at least you are honest about it. What do you hope to gain? My position is unlikely to change until I have been involved in some events of the ton.”
“You will, at least, come to know me better, and it will certainly give you and Georgie a chance to become better acquainted. I also noticed that Kitty seems to have matured over these months, and I wondered if she and Georgie might become friends.”
“She has matured and become independent of Lydia. She used to do just about anything Lydia wanted to do. Now, she is often critical of Lydia and is finding her own place. I discovered, quite by chance last spring, she is quite a good artist. She was working on a sketch of some plants in the garden when I came upon her unnoticed and when I convinced her to show me what she had done, I was amazed. For one who had no training, she draws incredibly well. She told me she has been doing it for years but did not want anyone to know until she became good enough to be willing to show others her work. Based on what I saw, she should have showed us years ago. She also admitted she enjoyed singing but was reluctant to tell me because her voice is much lower than mine. She thought, because she could not hit high notes, she would never be a good female singer. I convinced her she had a fine alto voice and found some songs we could sing together. She does not want to do it at home, so we go to the church to practice. The rest of the family is going to be very surprised when she and I give our first performance together.”
“Does she play the piano?”
“No, she has never attempted it. I asked her about playing an instrument, and she admitted she would like to play a harp or some stringed instrument on which she could accompany herself if she becomes good enough to sing by herself. I thought she might like an Irish harp or lute, but I have never seen a woman play one of those.”
“As a matter of fact, I have a drawing somewhere at Pemberley of my great-grandmother playing a lute. She was quite a musician and played several instruments – harp, lute, mandolin, and, as I recall, some type of hand-held harp like the Irish harp. I shall look in some of the storage rooms we have at Pemberley. There are things in there from past Darcy families that have been in there for many generations of Darcy’s. I suspect they are useless now, but Georgie and I will look when we return.”
“Does Georgie draw? She did not say anything about it in our conversations.”
“She studied it for a few months, but it did not hold her interest. She became so absorbed with the piano, she has put aside trying to gain any other accomplishments. I know she would like to learn to sing better, but as far as I know, it is her only other interest beside the piano.”
Elizabeth decided she should not tell him that Georgiana spent much time writing. She had shown Elizabeth some short stories she had written that were quite good. If her brother did not know about her writing, it must be because she did not want him to know.
Her reverie about Georgiana was interrupted by Darcy, who said, “I assume you noticed that Miss Bingley is not coming until we leave.”
“Oh yes, I did notice that and was going to ask you about it. Did you say something to Mr. Bingley about her that caused him to choose Mrs. Hurst as his hostess instead of Miss Bingley?”
“I did. I told him her behavior towards Georgiana and me was inappropriate and that if it was not altered, we would not visit him when she was with him, and she would not be invited to our residences. Because of her deception related to your sister, he told her what I said and that to ensure she did not offend us, she could not come to Netherfield until we departed. I would like to be a mouse in the corner to see how she acts when she comes to Netherfield. Even though Mrs. Hurst is older and married, Miss Bingley always had the upper hand between the two. I wonder how Miss Bingley will handle her demotion.”
“I almost look forward to her appearance. I may even be shrewish and let her know I believe her status is below Jane’
s and mine, despite her fortune.
When they came around a bend in the road, they saw Jane and Bingley heading back toward them rather quickly. “I believe it is raining up ahead,” said Bingley. “Let us hurry back to Longbourn. I believe it is closer than Meryton.”
Elizabeth could see a sheet of rain in the distance moving toward them. “Oh dear, that could get us very wet. Hurry, follow me. I think we can make the Carter’s cabin before it reaches us.”
“I was thinking the same thing, Lizzy,” said Jane. “I hope you remember where the path is?”
Elizabeth had already turned and was quickly walking down the road. “Yes, I walk on the path often when I am picking berries. It is down here about 100 yards on the left.”
Shortly thereafter Elizabeth turned them toward the woods onto a very faint path. They could hear the rain now and it was just about upon them. “Come, let us run. It is only about 50 yards off the road.”
The rain hit them just as they were arriving at the cabin. The door on the cabin was hanging out an angle. The cabin had clearly not been used for years. They all rushed into the cabin just as the rain began pelting down ferociously. As one would expect, there were many leaks in the roof, but there were areas where they could stand and not get wet. “We are lucky we were close to this cabin,” said Bingley. “If we were out there now, we would be soaked to the skin.”
“We must thank the Carters,” said Darcy, “whoever they are, for the use of the cabin.”
“You will have to thank them at their gravestones,” said Jane. “They have been dead for many years. Their only daughter went to America; therefore, no one uses this cabin anymore. The land and cabin still belong to her, but no one knows where she is or if she is even alive.”
“I hope this is not a long rainstorm,” said Elizabeth. “Having to stand in the small spaces that are not wet will become very tiring, even if the company is pleasant.”
“As long as we are standing here cut off from the rest of the world, would it be impertinent of me to ask the two of you how your conversation was going?” said Darcy.
Bingley looked at Jane as if asking her if she wanted to say anything. Jane hesitated and then shrugged her shoulders. “I suppose there is no reason not to tell you. We have decided Mr. Bingley will give up the lease on Netherfield in October. Between now and then, he will visit me, and we will see whether we can recapture what we had before he abruptly disappeared last November. If all goes well, after October first, he will visit me occasionally from London, and we may begin a formal courtship. After Christmas, as is my custom, I will visit my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner in January and February. If things have continued to improve, but we have not yet started the formal courtship, and we feel we are right for each other, we will begin a formal courtship at that time. Of course, if, at any time, either of us feels we will not make a good couple, that person will tell the other and we will each go our separate ways.”
All were quiet for several minutes, listening to the rain continue to pelt the roof of the cabin. Finally, Jane said, “We have been honest with you. What about the two of you?”
“There is still nothing to tell you, Jane. Mr. Darcy will be here for two weeks, and I will spend much time with his sister and undoubtedly some time with him. Then he will return to Pemberley, and we will see each other during the next Season, assuming Aunt Madeleine does indeed find me a sponsor and Mr. Darcy chooses to partake in the events of the Season. We will take it from there.”
“As long as I am being in a contentious mood, Mr. Darcy, I must ask you. Why do you put up with Lizzy? Why do you not just forget about her and find a young woman of your own circle to marry?”
Darcy looked at her in astonishment and then laughed. “When Miss Elizabeth said you had changed, she was not fooling. I cannot imagine the Miss Bennet I knew last fall asking that question.”
Again, Jane shrugged her shoulders. “It is said that experiencing a disaster in one’s life often strengthens one’s character. I believe that has happened in my case. I am not the same Miss Bennet. That is precisely why I believe Mr. Bingley and I need to see whether we can recapture our old feelings. That being said, will you answer my question?”
“Why not? It is quite simple. I have never met anyone to compare to her and probably never will. I have been looking in my circles since I graduated Cambridge for a woman whom I thought would be suitable for me, my sister, and as a mistress of Pemberley. I found none, but I did find Elizabeth. I must assume that someday she will recognize that we are perfect for each other.”
“I cannot believe what I am hearing,” said Bingley. “I have never been in a conversation such as this in my life, where such personal things are being discussed. You, in particular, amaze me, Darcy. That you would be willing to say what you have just said in front of the three of us, astonishes me. What do you think about this, Miss Elizabeth?”
“I concur, it does surprise me that Mr. Darcy would be so open about his feelings in front of you and Jane. That he told me much the same thing at Pemberley surprised me. I am still trying to decide what happened to the taciturn Mr. Darcy I met last fall. Your goal of having me know you better, Mr. Darcy, is succeeding.”
“I hope that is a good thing. I would hate to think my efforts to have you know me better made you dislike me more.”
“I hardly believe my sister dislikes you, Mr. Darcy. I believe I can speak for her when I say her opinion of you is improving. However, she is a stubborn woman. She has it in her head that she must discover what it is to be a part of the ton, and I fear, even if she should admit to herself she loved you, she would not tell you until she has had that experience.”
“Jane, what has gotten into you? I am not sure whether you are my side or Mr. Darcy’s.”
“I am not taking sides, Lizzy. This is part of my old self that wants everyone to be happy.”
“And on that point, Elizabeth,” interjected Darcy. “I was not aware we were opponents and that sides needed to be taken. I prefer to think we are on the same side, trying to determine the best path to take.”
As he said that, Elizabeth noted she could no longer hear the rain on the roof. She did not even chastise Darcy for using her given name without the Miss in front of it but said “I think it is time we ended this very unusual conversation and headed for Longbourn. It seems the rain has stopped.”
They all agreed she was correct, and one by one they filed out of the cabin and followed Elizabeth down the path to the road. This time when they were on the road, they did not separate into couples, but walked back to Longbourn four abreast, chatting about inconsequential things. When they arrived at Longbourn, Darcy and Bingley said their farewells, mounted their horses, and returned to Netherfield.
Chapter 10: A Walk to Oakham Mount
The dinner at Netherfield hosted by Mrs. Hurst went well. She proved to be quite a good hostess and Mr. Hurst was not the unsocial, often slightly inebriated man Elizabeth and Jane had remembered. He was sober, congenial, and participated in the conversations. They, of course, did not know Mrs. Hurst was with child, an event which seemed to have had a positive effect on Mr. Hurst. They had been trying for years to have a child, a situation which had become more and more depressing to Mr. Hurst. Now, the thought of becoming a father had apparently made Mr. Hurst decide it was time that he became a more supportive and caring husband.
The Bennets were introduced to Georgiana and found her to be the pretty, elegant, somewhat shy young lady Elizabeth had told them she was – not the aloof, spoiled young woman Mr. Wickham had described to them. Lydia seemed intimidated by her elegance and ladylike demeanor, but Kitty saw only a young girl of about her age for whom she had an immediate liking. Georgiana was similarly drawn to Kitty and much of the evening, she and Kitty spent together. Mary was her usual reserved self upon first meeting Georgiana, but when she discovered Georgiana’s passion for the piano even exceeded her own, her reserve disappeared.
After dinner, Darcy insisted Elizabeth sing; therefo
re, she sang two songs with Mary as her accompanist. However, wanting her family to hear what a fantastic pianist Georgiana was, Elizabeth asked Georgiana to accompany her on one of the songs they had practiced at Pemberley. Georgiana, despite her expertise, was always reluctant to perform in front of anyone other than family. However, Elizabeth, with Darcy’s support, was so insistent, she finally agreed. As Elizabeth had hoped, playing accompaniment for Elizabeth made Georgiana’s nervousness disappear and to Darcy’s surprise and pleasure, Elizabeth convinced Georgiana to play the Beethoven sonata she had heard Georgiana play at Pemberley. She agreed, but insisted Elizabeth turn pages for her. As she played, everyone became more and more amazed at her skill and at the end, all insisted they had never heard better. Mary, who had never had any formal training, realized how inept she was compared to Georgiana, but rather than being discouraged, vowed to ask Georgiana to give her some advice on how she could improve her piano playing.
The next morning Darcy took Georgiana to Longbourn to meet with Kitty, Mary, and Lydia, but after talking with the three of them for a while and giving Mary some exercises to practice, she and Kitty decided to go for a walk, which was not a favorite pastime for either Mary or Lydia. They asked Elizabeth and Jane to go with them, but Jane also was not much of a walker; therefore, declined. But Elizabeth, who thought they should have someone with them, agreed to go. It was decided, because it was quite a nice, although cool day, that they would walk to Oakham Mount, which was one of Elizabeth’s favorite spots. It was the highest hill in the area and gave a beautiful view of the surrounding valleys.
As they were walking on the path through the wooded area just below the top of the hill, they heard a horse coming on the trail and stepped aside to let the rider pass. It was Darcy.
“Mr. Darcy,” said Elizabeth. “May I assume this is a chance meeting?”
“It is, Miss Elizabeth,” he said, seemingly upset. “May I ask what you are doing out here without a proper escort?”
The Lady of the Mount and Patience Rewarded: Two Stories of Darcy and Elizabeth Page 27
