by Mendy Sobol
That night I hopped the redeye into Kennedy, caught a taxi to Port Authority. I can’t imagine what twist of history led to its transformation. Antiseptically clean, classical music soothed, I barely recognize the old bus terminal. At least the commuters, and bus numbers, haven’t changed.
“Number 88,” I told the ticket clerk. “Round trip to Bloomfield.”
This time I don’t ride the bus all the way to Applewood. Instead, I pull the signal cord at Bloomfield Center, walking the short block to my uncle’s apartment, surprising Joel as he finished his morning bagel and coffee. This time I’d tour Applewood as a passenger in my Uncle Joel’s midnight blue Sedan deVille.
“Look over there, Paul—Hilversum’s old chapel. Remember when we went to Dean Jorgensen’s investiture with your friend Tim? It used to be beautiful.”
I look, seeing only boarded windows, graffiti-covered brick. Whatever events led to Port Authority’s rebirth, Applewood was still the place of my nightmares, unaffected by history’s return to its original path. Apparently my hometown was screwed no matter what happened.
“Turn up Springdale,” I said. “I want to grab a Coke at a luncheonette I remember.”
“I don’t think there’s anything left in Applewood you remember,” Joel says. Then he spots Roxy’s. “Well, I’ll be a son-of-a-gun! How did you know?”
We walk through the jingling door. Roxy’s waiting behind the counter, polishing it with a green-striped dishtowel.
“Can I help you gentlemen?”
“A couple of Cherry Cokes would be fine,” I say.
“Okay, but you should keep an eye on that fine car out there. Some of these kids around here, well, you know.”
We nod while Roxy sets the sparkling soda glasses before us, and two more further down the counter. “For my grandsons. School’s out, and they’ll be here any minute.”
Though he thought my idea was crazy, Uncle Joel helped arrange my schedule for the next three days, making phone calls, setting up meetings, chauffeuring me, joining me while I mixed nostalgia and business.
First came a hastily arranged conference with the energetic Applewood mayor.
“Mr. Simmons, what you’re proposing could mean a lot to this city, show people we’re moving forward, give kids a chance to make a decent living without moving away.”
“Applewood has a lot to offer, Mayor Barkeley. Fifteen minutes from Newark Airport, twenty to midtown Manhattan, and forty acres of buildings and building space on the old Hilversum campus available at bargain-basement prices. I don’t know why more businesses aren’t jumping at the opportunity. But you understand, I’ll be starting small. Only a half dozen employees. And there’s no guarantee we’ll succeed.”
“I hope this won’t offend you,” Barkeley said, “but Applewood doesn’t need a white man to save it, and it doesn’t need a miracle. It needs opportunity. That’s why I’m prepared to offer, subject to City Council approval of course, substantial tax incentives if you decide to locate your business here.”
“Mr. Mayor, when I call the police or fire department, I’ll expect them to come. When I hire graduates of Applewood High School, I’ll expect them to be well educated. That’s why I expect my company to pay its full share of taxes.”
A broad smile spread across the mayor’s bearded face as he extended his hand. “Welcome to Applewood, Mr. Simmons. Welcome home.”
Two nights later, Joel and I celebrated signing a lease for the old WFMH building, contracting with Roxy’s to provide weekday luncheons for my employees, hiring Roxy’s brother Curtis to keep an eye on my new headquarters until I move in, hiring Terrell and James as chief testers of the educational software I plan to market. Over dinner at Nicastro’s in Newark’s Italian North Ward, where the Chicken Murphy is as spicy and tender as I remember, the nutmegged biscuit tortoni in fluted paper cups every bit as cool and creamy, we toast the speed with which my new dream is becoming reality.
I raise a glass of ruby-red Chianti. “To the future, to success, to TDI—Tesla’s Dreams Incorporated.”
“L’Chayim!” my uncle replies, “To life!”
The next day we tour W.E.B. Du Bois School, Terrell and James proudly guiding us to the beautiful old auditorium where I once played Tiny Tim in the fifth-grade production of A Christmas Carol, where I now answer students’ questions about careers in programming. After meeting with the principal, scheduling a school field trip to Tesla’s Dreams for one year in the future, Uncle Joel and I say goodbye to Terrell and James. Walking down Springdale, over maple-lined Roosevelt, we check the stately tree where, as a sixth grader, I carved Ellen Hoffmann’s initials inside a heart together with my own, finding the once slender letters “E H” and “P S” spread inches wide. We head up Grant Avenue to the corner of North Arlington, where we’re joined by a real estate agent friend of Joel’s.
“It’s obviously been vacant for some time, seized by the city for unpaid taxes. But other than a couple of broken windows it’s in good shape. And the asking price is very reasonable. Would you like to take a look inside?” she says, offering me a key.
“I don’t need a key,” I say, answering her puzzled look by simply jiggling the third French window at the corner of the sun parlor, jiggling it just so, until it slides smoothly open.
Since returning to Applewood, I’ve done everything with the constant help and company of my Uncle Joel. Now I find there’s something I have to do before flying to California to sell my house, pack my few belongings, sell the IPI stock options that will help me follow my dreams. One last phone call I have to make alone.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Meg?”
“Paul?”
“I’m across the river in New Jersey.”
“Oh my God! I don’t believe it! How long will you be there? Can I see you?”
“I was hoping you’d say that. I’m staying with my Uncle Joel in Bloomfield. Do you think you could take a bus in tomorrow?”
“Paul Simmons, you are unbelievable! You think you can call out of the blue, expect me to drop everything and hop on a bus to New Jersey?”
“I’m sorry. I thought....”
“I don’t care what you thought. I’ve waited all these years, and I’m not waiting another day. I’m coming now, and that’s final!”
Chapter Fifty: Paul
Now that history has returned to its proper course, my thoughts race forward to the future, to Meg. Even so, a part of me still lives in that other history, the history I helped create. Over the years, I’ve thought about the events leading up to the ROTC fire—the unanswered questions about flammable tear gas, and why police arrived so quickly but medical care arrived so late. Knowing the answers lay in information shared, decisions made, actions taken before history veered from its original path, I investigated. With my level of access, with my hacking ability, I didn’t bother with Freedom of Information Act requests. I went looking, found what I needed, learned the truth about my best friend.
The worst thing for Toby must have been keeping his secret from Meg and me. And though I’ve never found a smoking gun, I’ll always believe he paid for that secret with his life.
So what will I tell Meg when I see her? About Toby, about Melora, about us? Will she think I’m crazy?
I’ve learned the dangers of keeping secrets, of not trusting the people I love to understand what’s in my heart. So I’ll tell her the truth. All of it. And I’ll speak the words I was afraid to say so long ago.
But where will I begin? At the beginning, or the end? In the altered past, or the unknowable future? Or with last night. That was only yesterday, and I remember it best—
Last night the dream came again….
Acknowledgments
Virtual Fire is an unusual book. I began writing it in 1995. With the help of hundreds of volunteer readers, I completed it in 2019. Something close to a full list of contributors appears in my 2015 novel, The Speed of Darkness—A Tale of Space, Time, and Aliens who LOVE to Party! Additional than
ks are due to those who stuck with the project from beginning to end, especially Forest, Sky, and Margie, and those who came later and helped with finishing touches. Fond memories of high school and college classmates and all of my “Columbian School Kids” gave life to Virtual Fire. Darin Varzali, Dr. Damian Jorgensen, Lyndon Duke, Heather Henderson, JoAnne Linkner, Kate Donovan, Erika James, Joel and Terry Narva, Mark and Alice Duffy, Paul Machu, Susan Castillo, Barbara Sullivan, Kathie Rivers, Melora Kennedy, Brent and Peggy Bosworth, WFMU DJ Kelly Jones, Brown University Archivist Raymond Butti, my first editor, the late and much beloved Russell Becker, my sister Karen Lee, and my parents, got VF running strong out of the gate. Author Lisa Brownell, Dr. Andrew Elliott, Denise Jessup, Dr. Lynne Oland, Bill Goetz, Jennifer Boudin, Mireille Machu, and Thomas J. Sylwester gave it second wind on the backstretch. My entire Writing Group and Beta readers extraordinaire Kevin May, Geoff Henkle, L.J. Bousquet, Stephanie Deverts, and Wendy Watson, along with my Marketing Group led by noir author Valerie Brooks, and cover designer Ana Grigoriou-Voicu, aimed it toward the finish line. First Lady of Grammar, editor Mary Oberst, brought it home a winner, and Audio book narrators David Cooper, Lelia Zsiga, and Karen Lee Sobol, and Audio Producer Forest J. Sobol, gave voice to my words. Much thanks and much love to all of you!
EXTRAS
FictionFire
The Vietnam War: Additional Sources
Nonfiction
The Vietnam War: An Intimate History
by Geoffrey C. Ward and Ken Burns
Vietnam: A History
by Stanley Karnow
A Rumor of War: The Classic Vietnam Memoir (40th Anniversary Edition)
by Philip Caputo and Kevin Powers
Dispatches
by Michael Herr
Hue 1968: A Turning Point of the American War in Vietnam
by Mark Bowden
Siege of Khe Sanh: The Story of the Vietnam War’s Largest Battle
by Robert Pisor and Mark Bowden
When I Turned Nineteen: A Vietnam War Memoir
by Glyn Haynie
War For the Hell of It: A Fighter Pilot’s View of Vietnam
by Ed Cobleigh
Fire in the Lake: The Vietnamese and the Americans in Vietnam
by Frances FitzGerald
Winners & Losers: Battles, Retreats, Gains, Losses, and Ruins from the Vietnam War
by Gloria Emerson
How We Won the War
by Vo Nguyen Giap
The Long Gray Line: The American Journey of West Point’s Class of 1966
by Rick Atkinson
When Hell was in Session
by Admiral Jeremiah Denton and Ed Brandt
When Heaven and Earth Changed Places (Tie-In Edition)
by Le Ly Hayslip and Jay Wurts
The Latehomecomer: A Hmong Family Memoir
by Kao Kalia Yang
The Girl in the Picture: The Story of Kim Phuc, the Photograph, and the Vietnam War
by Denise Chong
Fiction
Saigon: An Epic Novel of Vietnam
by Anthony Grey
The Sorrow of War: A Novel of North Vietnam
by Bao Ninh and Frank Palmo
The Things They Carried
by Tim O’Brien
Matterhorn: A Novel of the Vietnam War
by Karl Marlantes
Graphic Novels
Dong Xoai, Vietnam 1965
by Joe Kubert
Such a Lovely Little War: Saigon 1961-63
by Marcelino Truong and David Homel
Movies
Hearts and Minds (1974)
The Deer Hunter (1978)
Coming Home (1978)
When Hell Was in Session (1979)
Apocalypse Now (1979)
Platoon (1986)
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Hamburger Hill (1987)
Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)
Heaven and Earth (1993)
We Were Soldiers (2002)
The Fog of War: Eleven Lessons from the Life of Robert S. McNamara (2003)
Journey from the Fall (2006)
Last Days in Vietnam (2014)
Links
The Draft Lottery Broadcast, Dec. 1, 1969 – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhLbysRh8XY
Results of the First Draft Lottery. Find your draft number and see whether you would have been drafted –
https://www.calledtoservevietnam.com/blog/information-about-the-vietnam-era-draft/the-results-of-the-first-draft-lottery-dec-1-1969/
Selective Service Today – https://www.sss.gov/About/Quick-Facts-and-Figures
Napalm and Agent Orange – https://vietnamawbb.weebly.com/napalm-agent-orange.html
Music
New York Times Article: I Served in Vietnam. Here’s My Soundtrack. –
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/13/opinion/vietnam-war-rock-music.html
The Vietnam War Antiwar Movement: Additional Sources
Nonfiction
Give Peace a Chance: Exploring the Vietnam Antiwar Movement: Essays from the Charles DeBenedetti Memorial Conference (Peace and Conflict Resolution)
by Professor Melvin Small and William D Hoover
Vietnam and the American Political Tradition: The Politics of Dissent
by Randall B. Woods
Witness to the Revolution: Radicals, Resisters, Vets, Hippies, and the Year America Lost Its Mind and Found Its Soul
by Clara Bingham
Born on the Fourth of July: 40th Anniversary Edition
by Ron Kovic and Bruce Springsteen
Steal This Book
by Abbie Hoffman
Revolution for the Hell of It: The Book That Earned Abbie Hoffman a Five-Year Prison Term at the Chicago Conspiracy Trial
by Abbie Hoffman and Reverend Billy
Kill for Peace: American Artists Against the Vietnam War
by Matthew Israel
Selma to Saigon: The Civil Rights Movement and the Vietnam War (Civil Rights and Struggle)
by Daniel S. Lucks
The Catonsville Nine: A Story of Faith and Resistance in the Vietnam Era
by Shawn Francis Peters
Hardhats, Hippies, and Hawks: The Vietnam Antiwar Movement as Myth and Memory
by Penny Lewis
The Kent State Massacre: The History and Legacy of the Shootings That Shocked America
by Charles River Editors
Four Dead in Ohio: Was There a Conspiracy at Kent State
by William A. Gordon
The Report of the President’s Commission on Campus Unrest; Including Special Reports: The Killings at Jackson State, the Kent State Tragedy. (Physician travelers)
by United States President’s Commission on Campus Unrest
Fiction
The Risk of Being Ridiculous
by Guy Maynard
Hocus Pocus
by Kurt Vonnegut
Five Freshmen: A Story of the Sixties
by Steven S. Kussin
Leaving Kent State
by Sabrina Fedel
Graphic Novel
VIETNAM
by Julian Bond and T.G. Lewis
Movies
Coming Home (1978)
Kent State (1981)
Born on the Fourth of July (1989)
Links
Jackson State Shootings – https://libcom.org/history/jackson-state-shootings-1970
Video
500,000 March on Washington – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fv7Gk-Pg7Rw
A Vietnam War veteran speaking at an anti-war protest in Washington – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkJ2aIRQl-I
Music
Country Joe McDonald: I-Feel-Like-I’m-Fixin’-To-Die Rag
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7Y0ekr-3So
Phil Ochs: I Ain’t Marching Anymore
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gv1KEF8Uw2k
Jefferson Airplane: Revolution
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KigBEoBxhmE
Jefferson Airplane: Lathe
r
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vO-J7F4vPtg
Electric Flag: Killing Floor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tq3NwCHm-4U
Edwin Starr: War
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01-2pNCZiNk
Creedence Clearwater: Fortunate Son
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7qkQewyubs
Creedence Clearwater: Run Through the Jungle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bf_xZVhaAKs
James Brown: Say it Loud, I’m Black and I’m Proud!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eb_1NNdf_30
Bob Dylan: Masters of War
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exm7FN-t3PY
Buffy Saint-Marie: Universal Soldier
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbKa2gapq_M
The Animals: We Gotta Get Outta This Place
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJVpihgwE18
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young: Ohio
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRE9vMBBe10
Other Reading
Prague Spring
So Many Heroes
by Alan Levy
Redlining, Blockbusting, and Segregation
The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America
by Richard Rothstein
Reveal, from The Center for Investigative Reporting: Kept Out
https://www.revealnews.org/topic/kept-out/
WFMU Freeform Radio
https://wfmu.org/about/
IBM 650 Computer
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_650
Meet the Author
Mendy Sobol is a former attorney, law school teacher, and college ice hockey coach. He dreams of traveling via teleportation, yet often uses a rotary dial telephone. Find out more about Mendy at http://www.mendysobol.com/ and on his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/fictionfire/.
Interview
