He pulled her in and whispered in her ear. “Never give up hope, Tori. You understand me? Never give up hope.”
“I won’t.” She tightened her grip and refused to release him. If she didn’t let go, maybe this wouldn’t be real.
“Now give me a kiss, and keep your chin up. Remember we love you.”
Tori kissed her father’s cheek and bent over to hug him again. She wished their embrace could last an eternity.
“I love you, Daddy.”
When she pulled away, she saw the wetness of unshed tears in his eyes. Determined not to cry herself, she forced herself to put on a big smile.
Tori closed the door and backed into the grass as her uncle started the van. Tori waved until their vehicle was just a small spot in the distance.
****
The television droned on while he sat back in his recliner. Checking his phone, Carter sighed. Tori still hadn’t texted him. He’d offered to be with her that morning when her folks left, but she’d decided against it, stating it was something she had to do by herself. He could respect that, but he knew Tori had to be having a hard time.
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door. Carter hopped up and opened it to find Tori standing there, her face red and eyes pouring.
“Tori?”
She walked in and immediately threw her arms around his neck, kissing him with a fervor she’d never shown in the past. The force of her movement caused him to back up until his legs bumped into the arm of couch. Although Carter was surprised by her actions, his body responded anyway. He pressed against her, arms smoothing down her back until he could hook his thumbs through the belt loops of her jeans. His mouth attacked hers.
She whimpered under his ministrations, the sounds only heightening his desire. Eventually, Carter twisted them until he pressed her down onto the couch, his body covering hers. He couldn’t get enough of her; the strawberry scent of her hair enticed him beyond belief, and he reached up into her soft tendrils and massaged his fingers through her curls. Tori’s hands roamed over his back, and he felt her hands reach under the soft fabric of his T-shirt. She caressed his back, her fingernails lightly scraping his skin until suddenly she stopped.
Carter knew what she’d discovered. It was like someone had poured a bucket of ice water over his head.
He sat up, moved her away and scooted to the end of the couch.
“Carter?”
“We can’t get carried away.” He was determined to distract her from what he knew was coming.
“What did I feel on your back?”
He leapt off the couch and spun around in her direction. “What? What brought on the sudden desire to rush over and attack me in my doorway?”
“Excuse me?” Tori looked as if he’d slapped her.
He knew he’d ticked her off, but he was angry with himself. Angry for letting himself get so carried away. Angrier for trying to hide things from her. But at this point in her life, he knew she wasn’t ready for the truth. Deflection was the only way.
“I think you know what I mean, Tori. We’ve talked about this. We have to be careful or our emotions will get the best of us. When you come at me like a cat in heat, you make it difficult for me to control myself.”
Tori held up her hand. Her eyes tightened while her mouth settled into a firm line. “A cat in heat? Really, Carter, that’s all I am to you?”
“That’s not what I meant, Tori, and you know it.”
“Well, that’s what you said. You don’t think I know we need to be careful. I realize that. But you didn’t just put your cancer-ridden father in a car this morning not knowing if you’d ever see him alive again.”
Carter rubbed his face with his hand and sighed.
“I’m sorry. I know you’ve had a difficult morning. You just caught me off guard, is all.”
“Seeing them drive off, I felt like I was being left behind. There they were, going on to figure out my dad’s future, and I had no control over what was going to happen. And I couldn’t have a part in it. I’ve never felt so alone in my life.”
Tori pulled her feet up under her and picked at the hem of her jeans. “I guess I just wanted to feel something… anything more than this horrible feeling of loneliness. You were the first person I thought of. So I came here.”
Carter knelt down in front of her. “I know, sweetheart. I can only imagine the heartbreak you felt this morning and the desire to replace it with something else. Believe me, I want you so much. But I can’t do something we both will regret.”
He took her hand into his own and started to caress it when she jerked it back as if it was on fire.
“I’m sorry. I think it’s in the best interest of both of us if I just leave right now.” She started for the door.
“Wait. What?” He caught her elbow. “Tori!”
“Just let me go, Carter. Please.”
“But I need you to stay. I want you to stay.”
Tori stopped, her back to him. Carter grasped for her hand.
The coldness of her voice shocked him. “Let me go, Carter.”
She refused to look at him and instead pulled her hand away and walked out the door.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Riding the escalator up to the second story of the Chesterfield Mall, Tori shifted her shopping bags into her other hand so she could grip the handrail to step off the moving platform. If Carter couldn’t give her what she needed, then she’d find an escape another way… and for Tori that was with some good old retail therapy.
Some new shoes, a new blouse and a new shade of lipstick were in a way helping to improve her mood. Tori hoped a new pair of sunglasses might send her right over the edge of bliss. Shopping to forget her troubles had worked in times past. Today’s excursion didn’t seem to be having the same effect.
She knew she hadn’t handled the situation with Carter the right way, but it frustrated her he couldn’t understand how empty she felt as she watched her parents drive off. Perhaps she’d been abrupt, but her thoughts and feelings were all over the place. It wasn’t that she needed him physically, as much as she needed him emotionally. And for some reason, today they weren’t connecting.
Walking toward the department store, Tori realized she needed to make a pit stop at the ladies room before she could continue her great sunglasses expedition. Swinging a hard right, she strode down the hall to the restroom and shuffled inside with her bags.
Taking advantage of the empty facilities, Tori used one of the larger stalls since she had so many things to corral. Once in the stall, she laid down her purchases and hung her purse on the hook behind the door. When she turned around she frowned as she noticed the toilet needed to be flushed one more time. She reached over to do just that when she heard a splash. Aghast, Tori stared into the toilet. In her rush to get out of her car, she’d stuffed her keys in her pocket rather than her purse. And now said keys were sinking to the bottom of the toilet bowl beneath her.
“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me. How am I going to get those out?”
Tori glanced around the stall to see if she could find something to dig them out with, but of course, there was nothing useful.
“Where’s a random yardstick when you need it” she murmured under the breath.
She stared at the keys as they mocked her from the bottom of the bowl. “Fine then.”
Tori open the stall door to get a slew of paper towels when she heard the toilet flush behind her.
“What? No!”
It was then she realized the toilet was equipped with one of those automatic flushing sensor systems. It had automatically flushed her keys into the vast wasteland known as the Chesterfield County sewer system.
“This can’t be happening. Not to me. Not right now.”
Tori glanced around the bathroom. “I’m on a hidden camera show, right? Someone’s gonna come pop out in second. I’m just waiting… for someone to do say ‘Hi!’ Someone… please someone?”
Silence greeted her.
Not caring that she had on her favorite designer jeans, Tori plopped down on the disgusting bacteria-infested bathroom floor and mourned her predicament.
“What am I going to do now?”
Cradling her head in her hands, she heaved a sigh before standing up to retrieve her purse from the hook. Tori fished out her cell phone and hazarded a glance at the toilet bowl, somehow hoping her keys might have magically reappeared. She groaned when her wish didn’t come true.
She used another stall and then stooped back down on the floor and punched her speed dial for Pax.
“Hey, this is Pax. I’m not available at the moment, but leave me a message and I’ll call you back. Have a great day!”
“Great day my eye… Hey, Pax, this is Tori. If you get this message in the next say, five minutes or sooner, would you please call me back? It’s a matter of life or death. Well, not that serious, but pretty stinkin’ serious. I mean, everything’s okay with my dad, so don’t go jumping to any conclusions. I’ve just sort of gotten myself into a pickle, so if you could just call me back I would s-o-o- appreciate it. Thanks!”
Tori stared at the clock on her phone and waited. Five minutes passed, then ten. Still no call from Pax.
Punching in another speed dial, she prayed he would answer.
“This is Seb. You know what to do.”
“Um, hey, Seb. It’s Tori. Could you call me at your earliest convenience? I’d appreciate it. Thanks.”
Ten more minutes passed. Where in the world could they be? And why didn’t they have their cell phones on?
She thumbed through her contacts, trying to decide whom she might call next. With every name she came across, a reason for not calling that particular person came to mind. Except when she got to the M’s. There in black and white Tori saw the contact information for Carter, except she’d stored it as “Mr. Blue Eyes” back when they first met.
Oh, she didn’t want to call him. She so didn’t want to have to contact him of all people.
Realizing she’d been sitting in the bathroom floor for over thirty minutes, Tori knew she’d have to bite the bullet.
Closing her eyes, she pushed the dial button. Part of her hoped he would answer, but another part of her prayed he wouldn’t.
She heard the click of the phone being answered and almost hit the “end call” button until she heard Carter’s voice. He sounded distraught.
“Tori?”
She didn’t answer.
“Tori? Please talk to me. At least let me know you are okay?”
“Am I okay? Well, no. My parents are driving halfway across the country for brain tumor treatments. The man I thought was perfect for me doesn’t seem to understand me. And neither my best friend nor her fiancé will answer the phone. I’m sitting on the floor of a public bathroom because I just flushed my only access to transportation down the toilet. But besides that, everything’s just hunky-dory.”
“You just flushed what?”
“Don’t say another word, Carter. Just come get me.”
“Okay. I’ll be right there. But Tori…”
“Hey, hey hey! What did I say? Not another word.”
“I understand but…”
“Carter.”
“You didn’t tell me where you are, sweetheart.”
“Oh.” She hung her head in shame. “I guess that might be important.”
“Little bit, yep.”
“Chesterfield Mall.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Thanks, Carter.”
Somehow Tori knew this would be something she wouldn’t live down for years. Decades. Centuries, perhaps.
She leaned her head against the wall and sighed. “It’ll take two showers and four baths to get the smell of this place off of me.”
Tori gathered her bags and purse and stalked down the hall toward the fragrance and bath store around the corner.
“Retail therapy. Works every time.”
****
Inside the parking garage of the mall, Carter pulled into the first free space and texted Tori. Curious didn’t even begin to describe his thoughts at the moment. Did he understand Tori correctly? She’d flushed her keys down the toilet? That girl. What would happen to her next? His phone dinged, alerting him to her text.
“Hey. I’m at the north entrance. Can you pick me up there? K? Thx.”
Carter smiled to himself with the short response. It had to have killed her that she’d had to call him of all people, but he was glad. They needed to clear the air about what had happened earlier. She needed to know how he felt about her without any pretense of overriding emotions due to sadness, hurt, or anger. Whatever might be clouding both of their judgments at the moment needed to give way to an actual conversation between the two of them in a calm, civilized manner.
Navigating the narrow lanes of the garage, he spied Tori leaning against a column near the entrance of the mall. He laughed when he saw the collection of bags at her feet. Apparently, she’d dealt with her frustration with her usual M.O.
Her eyes lit up when she saw him, and then quickly the bright smile was replaced by a grimace. Oh boy. Still angry with me. He knew the stress of the day hadn’t been reduced by his having to come rescue her.
Carter rolled down the window and leaned his arm on the frame. “Hey. Going my way?”
She turned away with no response and grabbed her bags off the sidewalk.
He reached over beside the driver’s seat and popped the trunk release lever then started to open his door when her voice stopped him.
“I’ve got it, Carter. I’m perfectly capable of putting bags in the trunk. I do it all the time all by myself, thank you very much.”
Pulling the car door shut, Carter sank in the seat and rolled his eyes. Ooo-kay.
Tori pulled open the passenger door and plopped into the front seat with a sigh. Carter opened his mouth to speak when Tori’s finger pointed in the air and she stared out the windshield.
“Not one word. Not one blessed word.”
Nodding, Carter turned to look out the front window and after putting the car in gear pulled away from the curb, desperate not to laugh.
Driving down the highway, Carter assumed they were going to her apartment and proceeded to turn on the blinker for her exit.
“Don’t get off here.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s no good.”
“What’s no good?”
“I can’t get into my apartment, Carter. That key was on the same key ring as the other one.”
“Oh. Okay. So, where to then?”
“Pax has a key. Let me try to get her again.”
Carter eyed Tori as she shuffled through her bag and pulled out her cell phone. He deduced Pax didn’t answer by the down turn of Tori’s features.
“Not answering, huh?”
“Brilliant detective work.”
“Gonna try Seb next?”
“You’re gonna get a gold star with all these ideas.”
Carter twisted in his seat. The bitterness in her voice pierced him, and he sighed out loud.
“What was that for?”
He remained quiet for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. He didn’t want to exacerbate the situation any worse than it already was. “Well, you tell me, Tori. It appears I can’t breathe without offending you.”
At his statement, she crumbled forward in the seat. After a few seconds, he heard her whisper. “I’m sorry, Carter. I’m just frustrated with myself, but I’m taking it out on you. You don’t deserve it. You’re an easy target. Please forgive me.”
Reaching over, Carter placed his hand on the back of her neck and squeezed with a small bit of pressure. “It’s okay. Today hasn’t been a banner one for either of us. Go ahead and see if Seb will answer.”
Raising her head, she turned and smiled then punched the keypad.
“Argh. Where are these people? Did he mention anything to you about going somewhere?”
“Nope. At le
ast I don’t remember him saying anything about it. Do you have a key to his place?”
“No. I guess the only thing to do is for you to take me to Pax’s, and I’ll wait on her there.”
“Can I offer a suggestion?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“Can we go somewhere else? Maybe talk about what happened this morning?”
She looked out the passenger window. Carter held his breath. Had he ruined what seemed to be a calm conversation?
“That’s fine, Carter. Where do you want to go?”
“I think I’ve got a good place in mind. Why don’t you sit back, close your eyes, and try to relax? I’ll let you know when we get there.”
A soft sigh escaped her lips. The tension of the morning seemed to dissipate as she closed her eyes and settled back against the headrest. It’d been a challenging few hours for both of them and he prayed she could get a break from the memories of saying goodbye her dad. Carter released a deep breath in an attempt to relax his muscles.
Help me handle this the right way, Lord. I don’t want to lose her.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Tori cracked open her eyes when she felt Carter shift the car into park. She’d fallen asleep and had no idea where they’d ended up. Tori blinked her eyes a few times and then glanced around. Being situated in the middle of a large parking lot was not exactly what she had in mind as a place for them to talk.
“Carter?”
The pop of the doors unlocking caught her attention. He was already out of his seat, and Carter appeared at her window, a grin on his face.
He swung open the door and waved his hand with a flourish. “M’lady…”
“Um, where are we?”
“Look around and see if you can’t tell.”
She started to take notice of the banners hanging from the light posts all throughout the lot. Animals. All kinds of animals.
No way. “Carter, did you bring me to the zoo?”
He laughed at her question and grabbed her hand. “Come on. If there’s anything that can put a smile on your face, it’s the antics in the monkey house.”
Just a Little Hope Page 14
