by M. S. Willis
I started to walk back towards my bedroom and Alex followed. I stripped off my shirt and tossed it in the hamper then sat on the bed to start taking off my boots. I looked up into Alex’s expectant face.
“No, I haven’t been drinking. I mean, I had one beer, but that was when I first got there.” I tugged off my left boot and re-crossed my legs to pull off the right one. “The night was a disaster Alex. It was like the universe decided that it was ‘Crap on Paige Day’.”
I pulled my boot off and then tossed it on the floor next to the other one. I laid back on the bed and I felt the mattress sink when Alex sat down beside me.
“Tell me about it.” He reached over and started running his fingers lightly against my bare, outstretched stomach.
“It’s a long story, I’m tired, and I don’t really feel like recanting the tale tonight. What I will tell you is that it involved a pit mishap, a broken finger, and two chauvinist pigs.”
Alex shuddered. “Pigs. I hate pigs.”
I laughed and then sat up and patted Alex on the leg. “I’m jumping in the shower. You’re welcome to sleep in here with me so you don’t get a crick in your neck sleeping on the living room couch.”
Alex smiled up at me and nodded his head in acceptance of my offer. He grabbed his shirt from the back and pulled it over his head, tossing the shirt onto the floor by my boots. He stood up and started unbuttoning the jeans that hung off his hips perfectly. I took a second admiring his form. Alex had colorful sleeve tattoos along both arms and a large piece on his back. Lines of small script ran along his ribs. Even though he didn’t need the help, those colorful markings only accented his perfect physique. I have had many opportunities to explore Alex’s toned, athletic build and I swear the man must have been molded from clay.
I reluctantly peeled my eyes off him and I turned to go into the bathroom. I turned on the water and started to strip out of my jeans and underwear while waiting for the water to heat. After a few seconds, steam started pouring out and I walked under the spray. The water helped to relieve me of the tension from earlier and I grabbed a wash cloth and body soap and lathered myself up in order to rinse away any remnants of the alcohol I wore home. Images of Daemon started playing through my head and it annoyed me that my body reacted to him with lust and desire, while my mind wanted nothing to do with his arrogance. I sighed and thought about what a shame it was that someone as beautiful as him could be so ugly on the inside. Regardless of his out of control ego, the man was absolutely breathtaking. If I were more of a foolish girl, I could see myself easily getting lost in those crystal blue eyes of his. Logan’s warning started repeating itself in my head and I cringed at the thought of the countless women Daemon had taken home. That thought alone was enough to free me of my reverie.
I turned off the water and grabbed a towel to wrap around me. I shuffled into my closet and put on a pair of underwear and pulled on an old oversized Ramones t-shirt that I stole from David.
I climbed in bed and cuddled up next to Alex. He was still awake and he wrapped his arms around me to pull me closer. Curling into his side was comforting and familiar. Traces of his cologne mixed with his natural scent and the smell was intoxicating. He slowly trailed his hands up and down my arm. I was starting to fall asleep when I felt Alex turn to trail kisses down the side of my face. I shifted position to give him access to my mouth and he slowly placed his mouth on mine. Our tongues started to move together and he turned so that his body was pressing into mine. I could feel his excitement pressing into my thigh and, although I was exhausted and wanted sleep, I couldn’t deny him this comfort. There were never butterflies or fireworks in my feelings for Alex, but his touch and his closeness could always erase whatever tension I had inside me.
Alex reached down and began a slow lazy trail with his hands up my thighs, pulling my oversized T-shirt along with him. He continued to kiss me lazily as he lifted the hem of my shirt. I raised my arms above my head so that he could remove it and he tossed it aside. I rubbed my hands over his broad chest and we looked at each other in the scant traces of light that came in through the window to our right. The man was beautiful. There was no other word to describe him. Every part of him looked like it was chiseled from stone but his naturally tan coloring softened him to the point where you couldn’t help but want to run your hands over the smooth skin.
Alex bent down and started placing kisses on my stomach. I ran my hands over his shoulders and down his back as he continued to kiss his way up to my ribs. His hand caressed my breast and he took it into his mouth. I arched into him from the feel of his warm mouth on me. He teased the tip of my breast with his tongue and the suction of his mouth caused the tip to harden into a small pebble. He turned his attention to the other breast and a soft moan escaped my lips upon contact.
I pushed my hands though Alex’s hair and pulled him up to my mouth. His lips pressed into mine and his body shifted between my legs. There was no need to rush what was happening between us. There was no passionate force in this, no driving desire to totally and completely consume the other. What we had was perfect for me because I had the comforting closeness of another soul, but my heart could remain protected in the walls I constructed around it so long ago. There were times when I felt selfish for allowing this between us. Although I knew I could walk away unbroken when this eventually came to an end, I wasn’t sure the same could be said for Alex. He never voices an emotion that goes beyond the line I drew for him years ago, but I often suspect he hopes that, someday, I can give him more.
When we had touched and tasted and driven each other to a point of desperation for more, Alex slid his boxers down and his hands grazed my hips as he stripped me of my underwear. His fingers teased along my core and a low growl erupted from within him when he discovered my readiness. He pushed into me slowly and paused before continuing the slow, lazy rhythm. My head tilted back when he filled me and a quiet moan escaped my lips. We rocked into each other and our hands continued their exploration of our bodies. A slow fire began to burn down below and my tension released further as he pushed deeper and an explosion started to build within me. Alex’s rhythm became faster and harder as we moved towards release together. We locked eyes as our bodies climaxed in unison and once the final tremors had finished tearing through us both, Alex bent down and placed the gentlest of kisses on my mouth. I smiled a lazy and satisfied grin at him and he reached up with his hand to caress my cheek. The look on Alex’s face was one of adoration and love and my guilt consumed me. I wished so much that I could give this beautiful man the parts of myself that he deserved, but no matter how badly I wanted that, my heart would not respond. I broke eye contact with him and he moved to the side to let me up. Alex learned a long time ago that I’m not the type to cuddle after sex. It was a means to end and any emotion that came with it was uncomfortable for me.
I pushed off of the bed, never making eye contact with him, and I walked into the bathroom to clean up. I returned to the bed and Alex was laying on his back staring at the ceiling. The look on his face was a mixture of frustration and hurt and the guilt tore at me more when I realized I had caused that pain. I laid down beside him and started to hug my arms around him, but he pushed himself up and walked to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and I sighed. I threw my arm over my eyes and considered releasing Alex from what was between us. I loved him too much to cause him pain, but I was not in love with him and I wasn’t able to give him what he needed most. Alex opened the door after a few minutes and silently made his way back to the bed. He reached out his arms and pulled me until my back was pressed against his chest. No words were exchanged and I finally fell into a deep sleep beside him.
~
The sun outside was blazing down on my skin as I lay amongst the grasses and wildflowers of the backyard. It was May in Florida and every year at this time, clouds of all shapes and sizes would be floating along the breezes that blew across the wetlands. A natural harmony of sounds would surround you and the high pitched birdcalls would c
omplement and contrast with the croaking of the frogs. Every once in a while you would hear a fast buzzing as the dragonflies shot across your path. The light would shine off their incandescent wings when they landed on the marsh grasses, each flutter of their wings gave the illusion of sparkles.
Momma used to tell me that dragonflies were the spirits of our loved ones returning to make sure we were okay. She said that if you saw one it was a reminder that, even in death, our love for each other never dies. I was five and I didn’t truly understand the concept of death. I was still attempting to learn the meaning of being alive and my young mind couldn’t wrap itself around the idea that we wouldn’t always exist. I believed that all those creatures were connected in some way; and that I was a part of them as well.
A turtle popped his head up from the waterline beside me. I sat up and brushed myself off and I stared at that turtle as he slowly pushed himself through the water. Small bubbles and ripples would form on the surface of the water as fish came up to catch insects and other small food. I heard footsteps behind me but didn’t need turn around to know who was approaching me. Buddy came up beside me and the turtle’s head went back under the water from his movement. I squinted up at Buddy and the sun seared my blue eyes with its brilliant light.
“Wanna climb trees?”
I thought about it for a second and then nodded my head yes. He reached down and took my hands to help me stand up. We ran over to the giant Camphor trees that shaded the yards closest to the building. Buddy jumped up to the lowest branch first and then reached down to pull me into the apex made at the base of the large branches of the tree. Once I was up there, he started climbing the branch to his right and I went up the branch to the left. We silently climbed as high as we could go, a wordless challenge to the other as to who could go farther. I always won these challenges because I was smaller and could safely traverse the thinner web of branches at the top. Buddy would watch as I made my way up and I would smile at him when I realized I had won. When I had gone far enough, I climbed back down and, together, we would make our way back to the ground. When our feet touched earth we would race to the next tree and do it all over again.
There was a massive cypress tree that grew along the shoreline. It had to be thirty feet tall and its branches hung out over the water. The bark was covered with a thin layer of moss and its roots pushed up from the ground into spikes. I often challenged Buddy to climb that tree but he would never agree to it because it was dangerous. When wet, the moss on the branches became slick and it was too easy to lose your grip and fall on the spiked roots below. I would tease Buddy and call him chicken for not accepting my challenge, but he was always firm in his refusal.
My consciousness shifted to a time after Buddy left. I would often sit outside and stare at the Cypress tree and I decided to climb it one day when I was playing by myself. It had rained earlier and I decided to ignore Buddy’s warning about the slick branches. My climb up was uneventful and I was proud of myself for having made it. I spent a little bit of time sitting in the branches above the water and I slowly started making my way back down. When I was ten feet from the ground, my foot hit a slick patch of moss and went out from underneath me. I tried to grasp the branches with my hand to keep from falling but my hand slipped as well. I didn’t hit any branches with my body on the way down but I landed on one of the smaller roots sticking up from the ground. Upon impact, my body curled in on itself from the pain and I laid in a fetal position in the shallow water, not able to move or cry out. The pain in my back was the worst I had ever experienced. I don’t know how long I had been laying there when thunder started to rumble through the sky. Small raindrops started falling onto my face and when the dark clouds shaded the sunlight, the cicadas started belting out their song. The wetlands came alive in rainstorms and I became nervous as I knew the rain would draw out the water moccasins and alligators.
I heard the back door of the building crash open and Daddy started calling out my name. I was still in so much pain, I couldn’t call out to him and I lay there praying that he would find me. My father ran around the yard when he finally spotted me lying in the water.
“Oh my god, Paige?!” He ran over to me and knelt down. “Paige baby, are you all right, what happened baby? Talk to me.” His voice was panicked and I tried to move to look at him. His hands brushed over me looking for broken bones or other signs of injury. I started to turn over and he picked me up after seeing that I was moving.
He hurried me inside to the building and called out for Momma. “Maia! Maia! Come quick. Paige is hurt!”
Momma came running out of the kitchen and Daddy laid me on a couch in the back parlor. I stretched out my body and the pain that shot through my back caused me to wince. Momma gently rolled me over and lifted the back of my shirt to inspect me. She stifled a small cry when she saw my back and she shot up and hurried into one of the bathrooms. Daddy stayed with me and continued to pet my head and console me. Within seconds, Momma was back at my side and was wiping my back down with a warm cloth. She dried the area and then spread a small amount of ointment on my skin. She bandaged the area and turned me back to face her. She didn’t ask me what happened but I knew she would save those questions for later, now that she knew I was alright.
I was lucky I didn’t land on my spine. The root had bruised my back something awful, but I didn’t break any bones or cause other permanent injuries. After that fall, I started to fear heights and I never climbed another tree.
From that day forward, I kept my feet on the ground.
Chapter Four
I shot up from my bed and I reached over to find Alex, but his side was empty. The bed was still rumpled from where he had laid, but the sheets and pillow were cool to the touch. He must have gone in to work early.
I laid back down and turned my head to stare at the light peeking in from the edges of the curtains. My mind was still in a state of shock from last night’s dream. I haven’t dreamt of Buddy in many years, even though he was still barricaded behind those walls around my heart. I stayed there for another couple minutes while the emotions consumed me.
I eventually shook off the thoughts and pushed myself out of the bed. Padding over to the bathroom I grabbed some clothes from my closet on my way. I relieved myself and then quickly dressed and brushed my teeth. My hair was thrown up into a messy bun and I turned around to walk out my bedroom door. The tattoo on my shoulder caught my attention as I turned and I reached over to gently touch it with my fingertips.
I left my room and hurried into the kitchen to brew some coffee. I measured the coffee grinds and water and poured them into the machine. After hitting the start button I immediately began tapping my fingers impatiently on the counter while it sputtered and steamed. I opened the cabinet, pulled out a cup and placed it on the counter. The pot was only a quarter of the way full by the time I turned to check it and I inwardly groaned at its slow pace. I worked on my mixture of sugar and creamer and then placed the half-filled cup next to the machine.
David walked in behind me and let out a loud yawn as he stretched out his slim frame. He padded over to where I was standing and eyed the machine with me.
“How long have you been waiting so far?”
I turned my glare to him and then huffed out a breath. “Three minutes.”
“Too long,” David commented.
“Agreed.”
He started tapping his fingers beside mine. “We need a faster machine.”
After five more agonizing minutes, the machine graciously beeped indicating the coffee was ready. I filled my cup to the rim and then handed the pot to David. While he poured the contents into his cup, I stirred together my drink. We silently walked into the living room together, set our cups on the table and plopped down in unison on the couch. The couch slightly tipped backwards from catching our combined weight.
We drank our coffee in silence for a few minutes and then David spoke.
“Sooooo…how was last night? Did you have a good time?�
�
I groaned and rested my head in my hands. I looked back up at David and gave him a small smile.
“Last night was not so good. I think I might have to avoid Tomb for a while, which sucks, because they always have the best music.”
David gave me a questioning look and then his eyes brightened and he smiled.
“Did you have a drunken liaison by any chance?” He paused then nudged my shoulder with his. “Because, if so, you are going to have to give me all the naughty details so I can live vicariously through you.” He shook his eyebrows up and down.
I chuckled and shook my head. “I wish man. But unfortunately it was nothing as fun as that.”
David raised one eyebrow in question and I spilled.
“Ok, the band was heavy last night and the pit got a little rough. I was standing in my normal spot by the speakers, but I got crushed in by the amount of people who were there last night.”
David put up his hand to stop my story. “So wait, before you go any further, are you about to tell me that the great and powerful Paige got trampled in the pit? If that is, in fact, the case, I will need a moment to openly gloat.”
I glared at him and he laughed.
“I didn’t break any bones or fall on my head, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He responded to my statement by turning up his nose in fake disdain.
“So anyways, when the crowd started to get too rough and I was having to push back to keep from being trampled, this guy grabbed me and pulled me up on top of the speaker.”
David’s head quickly turned in my direction. “Was he hot?”
I sighed. “Yes. He was gorgeous. An Adonis actually, and it was really fucking annoying.”
David’s expression remained blank but then he narrowed his eyes at me. “Explain,” he commanded.
“After pulling me up on the speaker, he called me a ‘damsel in distress’.”
David’s mouth formed a silent ‘O’ in understanding. “Knowing you, Paige, I don’t see this going well at all.”
