“Why?”
“I want see your scars. I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn’t there.”
Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and her body trembled finely. Bowing her head, she said nothing, but the sound of her uneven breathing filled the room. “Please don’t play games with me,” she whispered, her voice heartbreakingly defenseless.
“Nothing about you is a game to me.”
Pulling her hands from under mine and smoothing them over the blankets, she released a shuddering breath.
“Turn around, angel.” I cajoled. “Let me see the you I always felt but haven’t gotten to see.”
She hesitated so long I thought I failed in getting through to her. This woman’s wall was so high and so thick I was beginning to see nothing would ever be able to break through.
The only way someone would ever get beyond her defenses was if she opened a secret door and invited them in.
“It’s okay.” I relented. Cupping her covered head, I leaned in, pressing a kiss against the hood. “I’m going back to bed.”
Her hand hit my thigh, stopping me from pulling back. Glancing down, I looked at her pale, slim fingers lying against my leg.
Zoey’s fingers slipped away, and her body began to turn, rotating between my thighs, settling with her hands tucked into her lap.
Her head was bowed, the fabric of my hoodie still robbing me of the sight I wanted most. Nervous as hell, I took a chance. Curling my fingers around the edges of the fabric, I slowly peeled it back.
I was going to be sick. I’d long ago passed the sensation of butterflies gently filling my middle, giving me a giddy sense of excitement.
No, this was way different than that.
The butterflies turned into dragons. Fire-breathing ones with razor-sharp wings.
I wanted to throw up. The desire to catapult off this bed and flee into the darkness, into a new town, a new life, was so strong my teeth ground against each other.
His words held me in place. They were the only thing I’d ever met that rivaled my extreme fear of getting close to anyone.
I was so scared to trust him. So scared not to.
Nick surprised me again and again. I was off balance with him, and as much as I wanted to run... I also wanted to stay still.
And so I was here.
Sitting within the protection of his body. Shaking like the last leaf clinging to a bare tree in winter. Feeling the warmth of his skin and the sincerity in the way he eased away the very hood he’d provided.
I had no idea what was going to happen next. This was uncharted territory for me—a destination I never ever planned to visit.
Gulping back the nausea roiling inside me, I pressed a hand to my stomach.
One more inch, just another slight tilt, and he would be able to see it all. My lips shook, tears swimming in the depths of my eyes.
If only he knew how hard this was. If only he knew what this moment cost.
“Look at me.”
I did.
Neck slightly arched, chin tilted up, no hood to hide behind. My eyes clung to his, seeking out his true response. More scared than I think I’d ever been in my entire life.
He held my gaze for only a moment. The warmth in his eyes did not reassure me. I watched him look at me. I watched his mossy green irises scan my features, taking in the thick scar slicing through my eyebrow, the uneven texture left behind by the burns. Even though the room was dark, he would be able to see the discoloration, the pigment of damaged skin. Another scar ran along my jawline, reaching up toward my cheek. Beneath my bangs was more of the same—the edges of mutilation, the mottled, raised scar tissue denoting more burns.
As he looked, my eyes could hold no more sorrow, and a fat, heavy tear slid free, streaking down my cheek.
He moved to brush it away. I flinched, and he stopped. Unreadable eyes met mine before again raking over my face.
The hand that had been trying to wipe away my sorrow changed direction, lowering toward my shoulders to brush back the hair falling around me.
Unable to help it, my eyes drifted closed when the pads of his fingers brushed the sides of my neck.
“Look at me.”
Obeying, I watched him watch me, my hand still pressed against my middle, still swallowing the vomit threatening to spew. His gaze was everywhere, as though he was reading a map or trying to solve some kind of puzzle.
Another tear fell, but this time, he ignored it. My hands were shaking now, my fingertips icy and numb. Slowly, he reached up again, meeting my eyes as if asking for my trust as his fingers lowered to brush away the bangs.
I allowed him to touch me this time. To reveal the rest of my damage. There was no turning back. Not sitting in his lap like this, not feeling so exposed and utterly sick.
All I could do was watch him and wait. Watch him and pray to God this wasn’t a mistake.
“Nice to meet you,” he whispered, letting his hands fall between us.
A sob echoed in my throat. It physically hurt.
I tried to look away, but he grasped my chin, keeping me in place.
“Please trust me,” he whispered again. There wasn’t a hint of anything other than acceptance in the way he looked at me. In the sound of his voice. He was solid while I sat and shook.
God help me. “I do.”
More tears dripped down my face. I allowed him to brush away the wetness on my cheek.
“Does it hurt?” he asked, once again looking over my scars.
“Not anymore.”
“I wish I’d been there.”
“I’m glad you weren’t.”
The pad of his thumb brushed lightly over my cheekbone, soothing the severity of my fear.
“Blue eyes suit you,” he whispered, his stare bouncing between them.
“It’s too dark in here for you to know that,” I argued, trying desperately to hold on to any footing I had left.
He shook his head slightly. “I know.”
I was too far gone to say anything else. There was just no room left inside me for words, emotion overcoming even the most basic of thoughts.
“Angel?”
“Hmm?”
“Now that I’ve finally met you, there’s something else I want.”
Weariness assailed me. “There’s nothing left.”
“I think there is.”
“What?” I asked.
Before I could protest, his hands were cupping my face. Both sides. My stomach clenched anew and started to heave.
“Easy,” he murmured, rubbing slow circles on either jaw with his thumbs.
“I don’t want you to touch it.”
He shook his head. “I’m not touching it. I’m touching you.”
More tears filled my eyes. Dear sweet Lord, I was a freaking mess. I couldn’t handle this. Him.
“I’ve held back so many times,” he confessed, still drawing slow circles over my skin. “But now you’re here. You’re close.” Pausing, he smiled. “I’m not going to hold back anymore.”
This was Nick holding back? What the hell was he holding back? “Wha—” I started to ask, but I didn’t have to.
His lips descended onto mine.
The brush of our lips.
Once.
Twice.
Again.
If I had been drawn to her before, now I was consumed. Swallowed whole by desire, eaten alive by intimacy. It was just a kiss... but it was far more.
Heaviness settled inside me, anchoring me to the bed. I’d wanted to tell her she was beautiful, but I thought they would sound like token words. I didn’t want to give her words she would struggle to believe. I wanted to give her feelings that were impossible to ignore.
Gently nibbling on her lips, I tasted her lightly until the hand pressed against her stomach pressed into mine instead. If I’d been wearing a shirt, she’d have clutched the fabric, but I wasn’t, so the pads of her fingers flexed against my skin.
When I eased back, her lower lip followed
mine as if we’d fused together. Her lashes fluttered open, the blue of her irises startling. We stared at each other for the span of a few heartbeats, neither of us saying a thing.
This time, I covered her mouth with mine, not nibbling, not teasing or tasting. This time, I drank her in. Not separating from her for a single second. Rubbing my lips over hers full on. Reveling in the pillow-soft fullness rising up to meet me.
My fingers tightened as they cradled her face. Her body swayed toward me, so I wrapped an arm tightly around her, supporting her weight as I made love to her mouth the best way I knew how.
I let her feel how moved by her I was, let her be touched by not only my kiss, but the tenderness only she evoked within me.
The sound of our lips pulling apart made my stomach dip. When she tried to duck her chin, I grasped her face and held it. I wasn’t done yet. I wasn’t done telling her how much she meant to me. I wasn’t ready to let this moment become a memory.
As I stroked my tongue across hers, her intake of breath made me pause.
Cracking open my eyes only enough to glance at hers, I let her see my desire. Watching her watch me, I licked against her once more.
The fingers lying against my stomach flexed.
Her lips parted. My tongue slid inside. She was soft and warm. Accepting but hesitant. Her reaction made me want to give her everything I had. It made me want to pluck the moon from the sky and give it to her as a gift.
Never in my life... Never had I ever been so moved by someone, by a single kiss.
Sitting in the center of this bed with this woman in my arms and the slight tang of salty tears mingling with the sweetness of our first kiss, I succumbed.
I knew she probably felt like she’d surrendered to me. That she’d given up a portion of herself she’d never planned to part with.
But I’d just done the same. She reached into me with those blue eyes, with her honest touch, and claimed a piece of me I hadn’t even known was there.
I kissed the tip of her nose before pulling back, leaving an arm tucked around her waist.
“Okay?” I asked.
She nodded.
“C’mon,” I instructed, gesturing for her to lie down beneath the covers. “Go back to sleep now.”
“Will you stay?”
My chest swelled up with pride. “Try and make me go.”
Her dark hair fanned out across the pillow, a small smile playing on her lips.
Sliding next to her, I tucked the blankets around us before hooking an arm around her, gazing into her face.
Her eyes looked everywhere but at me, denoting the uneasiness she still felt at allowing me to look at her.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Her eyes moved to mine. “Thank you?”
“For showing me the real you.”
“No one else has ever...” Her words trailed away.
Surprise rippled through me. I knew she was guarded, but no one? Ever? “No one?”
“Just the doctors.”
The rush of emotions robbed my voice. Instead, I lowered, pressing kisses to her cheek, her forehead, and her chin. Gently turning her face toward me, the worst of her scars came into view. As I lowered again, she sucked in a breath.
I kept going, pushing past her defenses to rest my lips upon the raised and damaged skin. Lying on my back, I pulled her into my side, cheek pillowing on my chest.
As I stared up into the darkened ceiling, I smiled. Finally. Finally, I’d earned her trust.
The sun was streaming through the windows when I cracked open my eyes. Groaning against the intrusion, I rolled, burying my head beneath a pillow.
Something bounced onto the bed, making me groan again. Cool air brushed over me when the blankets lifted and someone climbed beneath them.
The attack of wriggling fingers to my side made me squeal and squirm. “Nick!” I yelled, trying to get away.
The pillow on my head ripped away. The sound of it hitting the floor somewhere nearby was nearly drowned out by the pounding of my heart.
Nick stared down at me, golden sleep-mussed hair hanging into his playful green eyes. He looked ornery and mischievous, a smirk on his lips.
Lips I kissed just last night.
Holy crap. I kissed Nick Preston.
Squealing, I covered my face with my hands, turning away.
“Oh no you don’t,” he said, straddling my hips and pulling me around. His hands covered mine. and I knew he was going to try and pull them away.
So he could look at me.
In the new light of day.
“Wait!” I gasped, pressing harder against my face.
His hands lifted immediately, but he stayed on top of my body.
“Zoey.” He warned.
“Why did you open the blinds?”
“Because it’s daytime.”
I gasped, realizing the sun was much brighter than it usually was when I got up for work. “We’re late!”
“My call time wasn’t ‘til later. I called and told Carson you’d be in with me. He’s covering for you.”
Opening up my fingers, I glared at him through the crack. “Why’d you do that?”
“Because I wanted to stay in bed with you.”
“I need to get ready for work.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “We have a few minutes.”
“Don’t you have your own room?”
“This whole house is my room.”
I scowled, but he couldn’t see because I was covering my face.
Leaning closer, he teased, “Are you being shy?”
I swallowed thickly.
A serious note crept into his eyes, the corner of his lips turning down. “Why are you hiding from me?”
“It’s bright in here.”
“You think my reaction will be different than last night.”
I peeked again through a crack in my fingers.
Shaking his head, he confirmed. “That’s not going to happen.”
“It might.”
“It won’t.”
We sat there at a stalemate for long minutes.
Eventually, his fingers curled around my wrists. “I’m not going anywhere until you lift your hands.”
“Please?”
“How am I supposed to kiss you good morning if I can’t find your lips?”
My stomach flopped over. Oh God. He kissed so well. “You can’t kiss me anymore.”
He laughed. Then laughed some more.
Scowling, I looked between my fingers again.
“Move your hands, angel.”
“No.”
His fingers jabbed into my ribs and started to tickle. I squealed and tried to buck him off. All his boring, sad meals had made him strong, and he stayed right where he was.
Automatically, my hands came down to grab his, trying to get him to stop the attack.
Gasping, I realized what I’d done and tried to cover up again.
Nick stopped me. Catching my wrists, he pinned my arms above my head.
Well and truly caught, I went stock still, squeezing my eyes closed. I felt him staring. I felt his weight firmly on mine.
My skin tingled everywhere, his full attention making me itch.
A full minute later, his hands left mine. Sitting up, he released my arms but stayed straddling my hips.
Confused, I blinked up, our gazes colliding.
“Just right,” he murmured. “Those blue eyes are just right for you.”
Teeth sinking into my lower lip, I waited for what else he would do. But it was definitely not what I expected.
His chest nearly collided with mine when he leaned in, pressing butterfly kisses all over my face. The last one he gave was to my eyebrow, or rather, the thick scar that ran in the center of it.
“Nick,” I whispered, my voice shaky.
Pulling back enough for us to see each other, he smiled. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. “I know you might not believe it, but I really wanted to say it out loud.”
&
nbsp; Everything in me recoiled from those words. I wanted to reject them almost the second they came out because there was no way anyone could think the way I looked was beautiful.
My heart wanted to believe him. The look deep in his eyes made me second-guess my mind.
Everything inside me felt unsteady when the palms of his hands dragged up my forearms and over my wrists, sliding against mine.
Our fingers closed around each other’s, and his head dipped low. I lay completely still, allowing him to kiss me, but not kissing him back.
If he noticed, he gave no indication, instead tightening his fingers and changing the direction of the kiss.
This time, I moved under him. This time, my lips parted to meet his. He was a little more aggressive than he’d been last night in the dark. His lips more demanding, the sound of his breathing more labored.
Lifting my chin, I met his request. A split second of surprise made him falter, but then his tongue swept against mine and a low groan vibrated his throat.
“Good morning,” he rasped when he finally set my lips free.
“Hi,” I said, shy, turning so my good side was more visible than the bad.
He shook his head, untangling our hands, bringing my face back around. “Don’t do that,” he requested. “Don’t ever hide from me.”
“I don’t scare you?” Just asking him that made my belly clench.
“No,” he said simply, honesty ringing in the single word. “What does scare me is what you went through that left you like this.”
I averted my gaze.
“About that...” he said, wariness in his tone.
I braced myself for the question, wondering just how in the hell I would answer.
“Did I scare you yesterday?”
Surprise made me look up at him. “What?”
“In the Viper. Did I scare you?”
Wrinkling my nose, I tried to understand. “Why would you have scared me?”
“I was driving pretty fast. I didn’t think about it at the time...” His voice trailed off so he could clear his throat. “I realized later, last night in bed after you woke up screaming. You had a car accident, right?”
I blinked. “A car accident,” I echoed.
He nodded. “That day at work, you told everyone about your leg. You said you had an accident years before...”
Moth to a Flame Page 18
