by Lane Hart
“Thanks, Dad,” I tell him, knowing that it probably hurts him to have to let his dream go.
It’s not much, but knowing my future will be my own is a good start.
Chapter 31
Maddie
I don’t know if it’s the pain killers or what, but Aric is making me dizzy with his roller coaster of emotions. First, he hated me and called me a heartless bitch. Then, he showed up banging on my door apologizing and saying he screwed everything up. I have no idea what’s going on with him.
All I’m certain of is that I’m too…raw to talk to him face-to-face just yet. He hurt me. His words destroyed me. And even if he said them in anger, it scares me to see just how fragile things are with him. One day I could be falling for his stupidly perfect face and sweet words, and the next he could toss me to the curb.
Somehow, I manage to avoid him all morning at school Monday.
Until lunch.
All the seniors eat together for the same half hour, so I have no doubt I’ll see him then.
I was so busy stressing about a confrontation with Aric that it takes him clearing his throat before I notice Blake hovering at the end of my and Hannah’s lunch table with his tray in his hands and Royal just behind him.
“Did you want something?” I ask, moodier than normal.
“Yeah,” Blake starts. “Mind if we sit with you guys?”
I look across the table to Hannah, who is busying herself with unpacking her lunch from home, pretending not to see the boys.
“Hannah?” I ask. “What do you think?”
“Whatever. I don’t care as long as they don’t act like jerks,” she responds with a squeaky voice that gives away the fact that she does maybe care.
“Why do you want to sit with us at the losers’ table?” I ask them through narrowed eyes.
Blake lifts one shoulder and says, “Because today I feel like a loser. And also, I know that sitting here will piss Aric off, which is what I currently live and breathe for. So, can we sit or not?”
“You’re in luck,” I tell him. “Pissing off Aric is my goal for the day too.”
Smiling in relief, Blake takes the seat next to me; and after a few moments’ deliberation, Royal curses under his breath and sits down on the other side of Blake, as far from Hannah as possible. I do catch her peeking at him before she scowls and acts unaffected by the sudden turn of events.
I myself can’t help but glance over at the Royals’ usual table for the first time and find Aric sitting in the dead center, alone, watching me, so I quickly look away.
“So why are you pissed at Aric?” Blake asks as he digs into his broccoli. “Because he stood you up?”
“No,” I answer since I let that go after I found out why he didn’t show. “He called me a heartless bitch.”
“You are a heartless bitch,” Royal mutters from further down the table.
Leaning around Blake to see his face, I ask, “Do you want to eat off the floor? Because if you don’t shut your mouth, that’s where your tray of food is going.”
Hannah lets loose a small puff of laughter before she goes back to her sandwich. I once asked her why she always brings her lunch instead of buying from the cafeteria and she told me that she heard a rumor that Blake paid one of the servers to spit in her food. Whether that’s true or not, she refused to take the chance and I can’t say I blame her.
“So, why are you pissed at Aric?” I ask Blake even though I have a pretty good idea.
“He fucked my mom,” he says simply, causing Hannah to inhale a piece of bread and choke on it before washing it down with her bottle of water. “But I think you already knew that,” he adds.
“Sorry,” I reply, meaning for knowing and for him doing it.
“Do you really need to tell the whole fucking school?” Royal asks.
“Maddie and Hannah don’t gossip,” Blake responds. “If they did, everyone would already know about Aric and my mom, and the whole school would know you fucked the girl you’re supposed to hate Friday night after she put you in your place.”
“I was drunk,” Royal grumbles. “That’s the only reason that shit happened.”
I look to Hannah to see how she reacts to that information.
“I was drunk off my ass too, obviously,” she says with a roll of her eyes which is a lie. She may have had two cups of spiked punch, but I don’t think she was so inebriated that she didn’t know what she was doing.
I bite back my smile because I know, per Hannah spilling everything Friday night, that the two of them have been on again, off again for four years because the sex is amazing even if the boy attached to the dick is a raging asshole.
“Royal’s just sad he didn’t get to finish before Maddie interrupted. He’s had blue balls all weekend,” Blake chuckles, making a smile break across my face. Hannah’s too.
“What’s so funny?” Aric asks as he rounds the table from behind us, so I didn’t even see him coming.
Nobody at the table acknowledges him.
“Blake, can we go outside and talk?”
“No,” he answers stiffly.
“Maddie?”
It’s ridiculous how hearing him say my name in his deep, pleading voice causes butterflies to take flight in my stomach.
“I don’t have anything to say to you,” I tell him without even glancing at him. Even his tall, blurring figure from my peripheral vision is hot. I can’t handle the full effect of seeing his face right now. Or the bright blue sling on his arm.
“Well, I have plenty to say to both of you, so you can just listen,” Aric tells me. “Blake, man, I’m sorry. You’ve been my best friend for, like, ever and I fucked that up, I know, but one day I’ll figure out a way to make it up to you. Hopefully. There has to be something I can do to convince you to forgive me.”
“You gonna let me fuck your mom, Aric? Tit for tat and all that to make us even?” Blake snaps at him, and I see the blurry Aric flinch at his words. “That’s what I thought. So, no, there’s nothing you can do to fix this shit.”
“Fuck off, Aric,” Royal tells him. “There’s no coming back from what you did.”
“Maybe not, but I won’t give up,” Aric replies. “And Maddie…”
God, why won’t he go away and stop saying my name!
“I’m sorry for everything I said to you, thinking you told Blake when it was my fault. Not just what I did, but I’m the one who ran my mouth and confessed everything while I was on pain pills. I should’ve known you would never betray me like that, and I hate that I hurt you,” he says. He crouches down so that his face is just inches away from mine. Then, he lowers his voice to softly add, “I know you don’t trust easily, and I would do anything to take the words I said back because I love you and I miss you like crazy.”
Did he just…he said he loved me?
I want to pretend like I misheard or am unaffected, but my stupid eyes burn and water, giving me away.
“Aric, you’ve got three seconds to get the hell away from this table,” Hannah steps up and threatens him for me because she knows I can’t say a word without bursting into tears. “If you’re still here on three, I’ll stand up and tell everyone what you did to Blake. One…two…”
I startle when Aric slams his palm on the table hard enough to move the whole thing a few inches, but then he straightens up and turns around to leave.
“Thanks,” I tell her after the door slams shut.
“You’re welcome,” she replies with a small smile.
It’s a huge relief when the final bell rings and I march my ass off to the city bus stop, leaving the school and a certain injured football player behind while I try and figure out what to do about him.
How can I be sure that this ache caused by his anger and insults won’t happen again? I can’t. So does that mean that it’s truly done and over, that we’re over?
No more afternoons or weekends hanging out at my place talking, joking, kissing.
Ugh, the kissing felt really, really good
. But I can’t let my hormones make this decision. They’re not the ones who may get hurt again.
I’m so preoccupied with weighing the pros and cons of forgiving Aric that before I know it, it’s four-thirty.
And still Matt and Mandy aren’t home yet.
Their bus usually drops them off around a quarter after four unless they’re really running late.
Grabbing my keys and phone, I head out the door, walking up to the bus stop at the top of the hill to look for them.
Ten minutes later and there’s still no sign of the bus. Matt and Mandy are the only two that get off at our stop, but Matt has a good friend who only lives about a block away. I walk up to the apartment door and knock, surprised when Jeff, his friend, answers it.
“Hey,” I say to the kid. “Did you ride the bus home today?”
“Yeah,” he answers.
“So it isn’t running late? Matt and Mandy haven’t got home yet.”
“Matt wasn’t on the bus today,” he tells me. “I saved him a seat, but he didn’t show.”
“What? That doesn’t make any sense,” I huff while looking through my phone for any missed calls or voicemails from the school. “What about Mandy? Did you see her?”
“I don’t think so,” he answers. “But she’s little and sits up front.”
“Okay. Ah, thanks, Jeff, and sorry to bother you,” I say as I walk out to the street for better cell reception to call the school. There’s no answer, just an automated message, because the phone line shuts off at fucking four o’clock!
I skip the bus stop, knowing it will take forever and run the entire three miles back to the school.
Chapter 32
Aric
I was surprised but elated Monday night when I get a text message from Maddie asking me to come over.
To hear from her, hopefully to say she forgives me, it’s like half the weight of the world has been lifted off my chest.
When she opens the trailer door, she even launches herself at me so hard I nearly fall backward down the steps before I wrap my good arm around her.
“Hey. I’m happy to see you too,” I say into her hair. “God, I missed you, baby, and I’m so fucking sorry.”
Maddie doesn’t respond, at least not with words, but I feel her body shaking against mine just before there’s a distinct feeling of wetness soaking through my shirt, on the skin around my neck, and then I hear her sobs that are heart wrenching.
“Please don’t cry,” I say as I hold her tighter to me. “I already feel so awful, now I feel like a dick for hurting you.”
Maddie shakes her head. “It’s not that. Not…you.” When she pulls away, I finally get a look at her red face, swollen eyes that have been crying hard for hours.
“What happened?” I ask, knowing it’s something bad because she’s such a wreck.
“They’re…they’re gone!” is all she gets out before she’s burying her face in my chest again.
I have no clue what happened, but I manage to pick her up in one arm and carry her inside, then sit down on the sofa to pull her into my lap. The trailer is eerily quiet other than her sobs.
“It’s okay,” I tell her as she cries, and I stroke her hair. “It’s okay, baby. Let it all out so you can tell me what’s wrong.”
Finally, maybe half an hour later, her sobs turn into only an occasional sniffle. Without lifting her head from my chest, she finally talks.
“Matt and Mandy…they didn’t come home from school. I went to look for them…and they were gone!”
“Gone?” I repeat. “Gone where, baby?”
“Social…social services took them!”
“Fuck,” I mutter as I pull her closer. This is bad. Really bad. Maddie loves her brother and sister so much she would literally do anything for them. Losing them, well, it’s just not an option.
“We’ll get them back,” I promise her even though I have no idea how. “You hear me?”
“How, Aric? How?” she asks.
“I don’t know yet, but I’ll figure it out.” Until that happens, though, Maddie is going to be a mess. How can she function without her brother and sister, much less go to school and live her life without knowing where they are or if they’re okay?
“There’s probably nothing we can do tonight,” I say. “Tomorrow we’ll find them and get them back.”
“Will you stay with me tonight?” she asks.
“Yeah, baby. Whatever you need, I’m here,” I tell her.
Tuesday morning I don’t go to school. It’s one of the only days I’ve missed but today there are more important things. Maddie was up and out the door before the sun came up, going to see an attorney. I asked her if I could go with her, but she refused, telling me she could handle it herself.
I swear her stubbornness drives me crazy sometimes.
Instead of school, I go home.
Last night I texted my parents and told them a friend had an emergency and needed me to stay over. They weren’t happy about it, knowing I wasn’t at Blake’s or Royal’s, but there wasn’t much they could do.
Just when I’m about to pull into our driveway, I see something falling from the sky two houses over at Blake’s place. I climb out of my car to get a better look across Sophie’s yard. Collette is standing on the Sullivans’ lawn, looking up at the second floor where Kurt, Blake’s dad, is throwing down armloads of clothes and shoes while the two yell obscenities at each other.
“You are never stepping foot in this house again, slut!” Kurt shouts.
“It’s my house too!” Collette challenges while tossing items into the raised trunk of her car.
“Not anymore! And since you signed a prenup, you’re lucky I’m giving you any of this shit back!” he says while dropping another load to the ground. “But I don’t want to look at it. I don’t want your skanky clothes hanging next to mine in the closet!”
Seeing the drama play out in front of me has a lightbulb going off above my head.
I don’t think it’s any coincidence that Maddie’s siblings were taken by social services.
“What did you do?” I yell as I march up to Collette.
“Now is not a good time, Aric,” she huffs.
“Maybe your boy toy can help you pack your shit up, whore!” Kurt calls, but I ignore him.
“What the fuck did you do, Collette?” I ask her. “Are you the one who turned Maddie’s family into DSS?”
“He kicked me out! My life is over!” she yells while tears stream down her face. Unlike Maddie’s, I’m totally unaffected by hers even if her fate is partially my fault. “I hope you’re happy with your white trash! This is all her fault. She showed Blake the photos and he told Kurt!”
“Maddie didn’t do shit!” I shout back at her. “I told Blake. It was me, not Maddie.”
“Get off my property, Aric Prince, before I have you arrested for trespassing!” Kurt calls down, and I flip him off.
“You’re an evil bitch,” I tell Collette. “I regret letting you touch me, and I hope you get everything you deserve.”
“Aric?” my mom yells from our front porch. When she sees who I’m talking to, she comes down the steps. “Aric, get away from that child molester!”
Faces are pressed to nearly every window in the neighborhood, at least all of the women who don’t have jobs. There hasn’t been drama like this ever on our road, and it’s all my fault.
Since I’ve said everything I need to say to Collette, I turn around and stroll back over to my house, leaving Blake’s parents to continue hurling insults at each other.
“Sorry, Mom,” I tell her when I come up the steps and give her a hug.
“Where have you been? I was worried about you all night.”
“I didn’t mean to worry you,” I say as I hold the door open for her to head back inside first and then close it behind us. I don’t want to hear any more of the Sullivans’ fighting, knowing I’m responsible for ending their marriage. No wonder Blake refuses to speak to me. His parents are separatin
g, and he hates me for it.
“Well, I’m just glad you’re home,” my mother says. “And you should stay away from the Sullivans. Both of them.”
“I know. I will,” I assure her.
When she crosses her arms over her chest, I know she’s not finished talking, so I flop down on the sofa and lay my head down on the cushions.
“What’s going on, Aric? Why didn’t you come home last night?”
“I told you in my text – a friend needed me.”
“Is this friend a girl? Maddie?”
“Yes.”
“Are you…being safe with her?” she asks making me cringe.
“It’s not like that with Maddie, mom. We haven’t…we’re not sleeping together.”
“Oh,” she says, sounding surprised. “And you’re not going to school today?”
“I can’t. I was up all night.” Every time I thought Maddie was finally settling down and getting some rest, her body would start shaking again, so I would try my best to hold her together.
“Fine,” she huffs. “Go upstairs and go to bed. You look terrible, honey. But tomorrow you are going to school.”
“I know. I will,” I say as I force myself into a sitting position, preparing myself for the hike up the steps when the world is dragging me down hard.
“Ugh, I miss the days when you and Caroline were still my babies, before I had to worry about college and drugs and sex…” she says dramatically when she faints down into a chair and stays slumped in it.
“Mom,” I say, giving her my best puppy dog eyes. “I need you to do me a favor. A big one.”
“Anything, sweetie,” she says when she straightens up to her former beauty-queen posture because my mom lives for being needed, being helpful.
“Would you take in a…kid that needs help? Like foster them?”
“Fostering?” Tilting her head to study me, she asks, “Where’s this coming from? You were such a jealous little boy if I spent time with your sister! Do you really want us to bring in another child?”
