by Lane Hart
“I didn’t mean it like that. Garrett is nice and sweet and handsome. I’m just not…physically attracted to him.”
“Does he know that?”
“I’ve made it clear we’re just friends,” I say.
“Because…”
“Because we’re just friends.”
“And you’re just friends because…”
“I don’t understand where you’re going here, Maddie,” I huff.
“You said it yourself. Garrett is a nice, sweet, attractive guy. There’s no reason you shouldn’t want him, except for one – you want someone else.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Come on, Hannah! Just admit it. If Royal wasn’t a dick, you would be all over his dick again.”
My mouth involuntarily lifts in the corners. “That is so not true!”
“Yes, it is.”
“If you came to prom with Royal, you would love to go to a hotel room with him, wouldn’t you?”
“I-I don’t think so.”
“Good thing you’re not Pinocchio or your snout would be a foot long by now.”
“Ugh, do I wish things were different with Royal? Of course. But they’re not, and I have to move on eventually. I’m going to try moving on with Garrett.”
“I thought you two were just friends.”
“I’m trying to see him as more!”
“But it’s not working?” Maddie asks.
“Not yet.”
“Well, good luck. And if I don’t see you again, try to have fun,” Maddie says before she throws her arms around me for a rare hug.
“Thanks,” I tell her. “You too!”
Since it’s time to face the music, I inhale a deep breath and walk out of the bathroom with my clutch in my hand to go find my date.
Only, Garrett’s nowhere to be found. We both went to the bathroom at the same time, so he should be out by now since I was talking to Maddie for several minutes.
I keep standing there waiting and waiting until I finally pull my phone out of my clutch to send Garrett a text.
While my head is bent over my phone waiting to see if the three little dots will appear or not, a finger or a knuckle runs from the top of my bare spine all the way to the bottom, which is my tailbone, making me gasp, not only in surprise but also with desire.
Oh, thank god!
My body has finally decided to flip the on switch for Garrett. I was starting to think I was broken and would stay in the off position forever because Royal broke me.
Except, when I glance over my shoulder, it’s not Garrett standing behind me, still lightly touching me.
It’s Royal.
There goes my optimism for moving on.
“You shouldn’t touch someone so intimately without their permission. It’s inappropriate and will get you slapped,” I say as I take a step forward, out of his reach, looking away from his face that’s fixated on the back of my dress.
“I sort of like getting slapped,” he says gruffly when he steps into the space I just vacated. He’s close enough that I feel his warm breath on the back of my bare neck. “Good things usually happen afterward that make it worth the short-lived sting.”
I swallow hard at his husky words, hating myself for hitting him twice before I knew about his dad hurting him. From what Sophie told me, Royal’s suffered enough physical abuse from his father.
“I’m sorry I slapped you,” I tell him sincerely without facing him.
“Yeah, you already apologized after the first time, remember?”
“Sort of,” I lie. As if I could ever forget that day. It’s just surprising that he remembers such a small detail.
“I’m sorry I threw your sketch book out the window,” he says, making my throat feel like it’s swelling up. “I never apologized before, but it was a dick move. I was just trying to get your attention.”
“Yeah, well, you got it.”
“A psychiatrist would say I have a problem differentiating between good attention and bad attention.”
“Probably so.”
“Will you dance with me?” he asks, trailing his fingertips as light as a feather over my back, barely touching my flesh but making it impossible for my body to not notice or react.
“Why…” I start to say, but my mouth is so dry the word barely comes out. “Why should I dance with you? You hate me.”
“I want to dance with you because you hate me.”
Finally, I spin around to face him. Looking him right in his whiskey-colored eyes, I tell him the truth. “I don’t hate you, Royal. And I never have. I only hate that I still care about you too much to ever hate you when I really, really want to hate you so damn much!”
Before the first tear falls down my cheek, Royal grabs me by my hips and pulls me to his chest. Reluctantly, I eventually wrap my arms around his neck, so that to anyone else, it probably looks like we’re slow dancing off to the side near the restrooms when we’re only just holding each other.
“Garrett’s not coming back tonight,” Royal says against my ear.
“W-what? Why not,” I ask in confusion, not exactly disappointed with my face still buried in his chest, inhaling his familiar, soothing scent.
“Sophie played the recording for me.”
“She did?” I’ve been waiting weeks for the fallout that never happened, so I thought maybe she changed her mind. I didn’t want to ask for fear of reminding her in case she forgot about it.
“Yeah, and right before the recording started, Garrett told me a few things, things you had said to people about me.”
“Like what?” I ask, pulling back just enough to see his face.
Royal uses his thumb to wipe away a tear underneath my eye before answering. “That you told some of the girls you regretted being with me.”
Gasping, I say, “I never said that!”
“You told me after homecoming that you regretted that night…” he trails off.
“That was different. You had been awful to me for months and said horrible things! I shouldn’t have let things go that far….”
“The horrible things I said on that recording were out of anger. I didn’t mean any of it, Hannah. I swear.”
“Actions speak louder than words, Royal. Seeing how you acted that last day with Claudia, leaving with her, that only confirmed everything you said.”
“Nothing happened with Claudia! I tried to talk to you, and you kept running away.”
Shaking my head, I tell him, “I didn’t regret what we did together, not until I thought it had all been a lie.”
“It wasn’t. And that wasn’t all the fucker told me either. He said you told the girls I didn’t last long and that it wasn’t good for you.”
“That’s not true! I’m pretty sure one of the other girls started talking about the guys she had been with who didn’t last long or whatever. But I never told them details about us or you, only that we had sex. I was trying to be their friend, and it worked. Last summer, they didn’t treat me like a leper.”
“You went back to camp last summer?”
“I went to the beach for a few weeks, and then I reported to camp as a counselor. And unlike Claudia, I didn’t try to sleep with any of the campers.”
“That’s good,” he says. “I know you liked going, so I’m glad I didn’t ruin it for you…”
“Oh, you definitely ruined it for me. But I still went,” I tell him.
“Are you going back this summer?”
“Yeah, for the last time.”
“I want to come too,” Royal says.
“Come to what?” I ask him.
“Camp with you.”
“No, you don’t. You hated every second of camp!” I remind him.
Arching one eyebrow, he says, “Not every second.”
It takes me a moment to recover from his deep voice and the meaning behind those words, and then I’m shaking my head again. “I’m not going to sleep with you again.”
“How can you be so certain about that?” he
asks. “Unless it wasn’t good…”
“No, it’s not that it wasn’t good.” Jeez, if anything, that’s the problem. The sex was so good I would even give in when Royal was being a jerk. “It’s just that, I can’t go through all of that again.”
“So we won’t fuck.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
Chuckling, he says, “Oh no. I really want to fuck you. But if you don’t want to, then we don’t have to.”
“Why do I feel like you’re full of crap right now?”
“Because you only think you know one version of me – the dick. Maybe you could take a chance to get to know the real me without anyone talking shit or interfering. Let me try to make it up to you. Just give me the summer, and then I promise you’ll never have to see me again.”
“Just the summer?” I repeat, not fond of the way he phrased the part about never seeing him again.
“That’s right, the summer.”
“Okay,” I agree. “Camp starts on July first.”
“I’ll see you there,” Royal says with a grin.
Chapter 23
Royal
Graduation day.
It’s something I’ve been looking forward to and also dreading for a long time. Now that it’s here, everything is about to change. It’s the end of an era and a brand-new beginning.
For me, today is also Independence Day.
Sure, my folks are here, publicly supporting me in front of all of my dad’s golf buddies and my mom’s gardening club or whatever the fuck she’s into nowadays.
But as soon as we get back in the car to head home, I have zero doubt that I’ll be getting the boot, both figuratively and literally.
Which means I’ve got to find a place to live for the next two weeks until camp starts.
And yeah, it feels really fucking strange to be a-soon-to-be-high-school-graduate looking forward to church camp, but I am.
Hannah’s giving me a second chance, and you can bet your ass I’m not going to screw it up.
Until July first, though, I need to figure out where I’m going to be sleeping at night.
“Yo, Blake,” I say, stepping out of our alphabetically organized line in my cap and gown to wave him towards me. Since I’m in the Fs and he’s in the Ss, we meet halfway, right around the Ms, near Hannah. I sneak a quick glance at her, and for once she actually smiles at me before glancing away, making me feel invincible.
“What’s up?” Blake asks, his eyes heavy with bags and a frown on his face. Guess I’m not the only one who is not in a celebratory mood today. His baby mama shit with Caroline is really getting to him; and if I had to guess, he’s also having second thoughts about the adoption. Who wouldn’t?
“Can I crash with you tonight?” I ask him.
“Yeah, sure. We better get nice and lit too before I leave tomorrow.”
“You’re leaving tomorrow?” I repeat in surprise.
“Football practice starts Monday, so I’ve gotta get my ass to campus and get moved in this weekend.”
Shit. I didn’t even think about him heading to Duke so soon.
“What about Caroline?” I ask. “You’re just up and leaving her when she’s as big as a whale with your kid?” My words come out a little harsher than I intended, not that I really care if he abandons her, but it feels like he’s abandoning me too when I need him and didn’t even bother to tell me he was going.
“I’ll be back when Caroline gets induced, but until then, I don’t really think she wants me around.”
“She might need you sooner,” I point out.
“What’s your problem?” Blake asks. “Your ass has been MIA for weeks, and now you think you know what’s best for me or some shit?”
“Whatever,” I tell him, sneaking a glance at Hannah again who quickly looks away, pretending like she wasn’t listening to our conversation before I turn around to retake my place in line. Blake hasn’t once asked about my plans after graduation or know that I may not see him again for years, if ever.
I’m almost back to the Fs when someone grabs the big sleeve of my gown to stop me.
“My offer still stands,” Sophie says, apparently since she heard or can guess my predicament.
“Your parents aren’t home for your gradation?” I ask in surprise.
“Their flight got delayed, so they decided to cancel since they wouldn’t be able to make the ceremony anyway...” She shrugs as if she doesn’t care that they’re missing one of the biggest milestones of her life, but it obviously bothers her.
“Sorry and thanks,” I tell her.
I may have to take her up on her offer, because the last I heard from Aric, he sold his Lambo and bought a freaking house to surprise Maddie and play husband to her and father to her two younger siblings. So, there’s no way I’ll be imposing on their little slice of domesticated bliss.
Besides, it’s only for two weeks, and then I’ll be out of Sophie’s way for good.
Chapter 24
Hannah
“So? What do you think?” Maddie asks after she finishes giving me the tour of her and Aric’s new house a week after graduation.
“It’s really great, Maddie,” I tell her as I spin around and take in the master bedroom.
“I know, right?” she replies with a huge smile.
“You should’ve told me you were moving, and I could’ve come and helped.”
“It all happened so fast, really,” she says. “And Aric had already bought most of the furniture, so all we had were a few boxes of clothes and things to bring over, no sweat. Come on. Let’s go back downstairs. I just baked some cookies.”
“Looks like you’ve got this housewife role down already,” I tease her as we jog down the steps.
“Oh, shut up,” she throws back at me with a bark of laughter. “It’s just so nice to finally have something good, you know? I’m grateful every day to be out of the trailer park and no longer staying awake all night, worried about how to pay for groceries for the week.”
“I’m so happy for you,” I tell her honestly when we come to a stop in the kitchen and she offers me a plate of chocolate chip cookies.
“Thanks,” she says. “So, what’s new with you?”
“Ah, not much really,” I say. “Just been spending my time off painting and counting down the days to camp.”
“Where you’re going with Royal Fitzpatrick, of all people,” she adds with a grin. “Take photos, because I just can’t see him as the do-gooder camp counselor.”
“I would, but we’re not allowed to have phones,” I tell her.
“That sucks. Then it’s like it never happened!”
“That’s what I’m afraid of, you know? That Royal will be the sweet guy from two years ago for a few weeks before he goes back to being a dick again.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” Maddie responds as she grabs a cookie and shoves it into her mouth. Once she chews it up, she looks at me and says, “There’s something I want to tell you; but at the same time, I don’t want to tell you.”
“What is it?” I ask in concern. “Tell me.”
“Are you sure you want me to?”
“Is it really that bad?” I ask.
She cringes and nods. “Yeah. Possibly.”
“Is it about Royal?”
“Uh-huh,” she mutters before cramming another cookie down her throat.
“Just spit it out. I would rather know than not know.”
“Okay, but promise me that you’ll give him the benefit of the doubt until you talk to him. You two have been through enough of a roller-coaster caused by incomplete or erroneous information,” she says because I’ve long since filled her in on everything.
“Maddie, tell me. Please.”
“Okay, here goes,” she says, grabbing a paper towel to wipe her chocolatey hands on. “A few times in the last two weeks I’ve been at Aric’s place, either checking on Caroline or having dinner with his parents or whatever. And several times, I’ve seen Royal.”
“Okay?”
“Going into Sophie’s house,” she adds.
“Oh,” I mutter, my heart sinking to my toes.
“And sometimes he’s there really early in the morning.”
“Oh,” I say again since that appears to be all that I can manage to verbalize.
“They’re probably just friends!” Maddie assures me.
“A guy and girl friends who have sleepovers together?” I ask.
“Possibly. Just…talk to him and find out!”
“How? I don’t even have his phone number!” I tell her. “I don’t even know if he’s serious about coming to camp or not. He’s barely talked to me at school with exams and all, so who knows?”
“I can get his number from Aric if you want?” she offers.
“Yes, please.”
“Okay, hold on. He’s at the aquarium with Matt and Mandy, but I can text him,” she says.
“That sounds fun. You didn’t want to go with them?” I ask in surprise.
“Girl, you know I love my brother and sister, but sometimes I just need a little break from the responsibility.”
“It’s really nice that you have Aric to help out,” I tell her as she types on her phone.
“Yeah, it is. I’m so grateful to him that there aren’t enough blowies in the world to repay him,” she says, making us both laugh. “Okay, he’s typing, and…there it is. Are you ready?”
Unlocking my phone, I type in Royal’s name in my contacts and then his number.
“So, are you going to call him?” she asks.
“Maybe.”
“What? You have to call him! Sooner rather than later!”
“Do you want me to do it right now?” I ask.
“Yes!”
“Okay, fine,” I say. Taking a deep breath, I call his number and hear… “We’re sorry, but the number you have dialed is no longer in service.”
Since the automated voice is so loud, even Maddie can hear it. “Aric must have been off a digit. Let me ask him again.”
They send a few texts back and forth.
“Aric double checked and even called him from his contacts. The number is out of service. Guess he got a new number or something?” she offers.
