with a dinner-napkin one day, and with the fragment of an old petticoat the
next? But the upshot is, she gets up glorious dinners, makes superb coffee; and
you must judge her, as warriors and statesmen are judged, by her success.
Oph.
But the waste--the expense!
St. C.
O, well! lock everything you can, and keep the key. Give out by driblets, and
never inquire for odds and ends--it is n't best.
Oph.
That troubles me, Augustine. I can't help feeling as if these servants were not
strictly honest. Are you sure they can be relied on?
St. C.
[Laughing.] O, cousin, that 's too good! Honest!-- as if that 's a thing to be
expected! Honest!--why, of course they arn't. Why should they be? What upon
earth is to make them so?
Oph.
Why don't you instruct?
St. C.
Instruct! O, fiddlestick! What instructing do you think I should do? I look like
it! As to Marie, she has spirit enough, to be sure, to kill off a whole
plantation, if I'd let her manage; but she would n't get the cheatery out of
them.
Oph.
Are there no honest ones?
St. C.
Well, now and then one, whom nature makes so impracticably simple, truthful and
faithful, that the worst possible influence can't destroy it. But, you see, from
the mother's breast the colored child feels and sees that there are none but
underhand ways open to it. It can get along no other way with its parents, its
mistress, its young master and missie play-fellows. Cunning and deception become
necessary, inevitable habits. It is n't fair to expect anything else of him. He
ought not to be punished for it. As to honesty, the slave is kept in that
dependent, semi-childish state, that there is no making him realize the rights
of property, or feel that his master's goods are not his own, if he can get
them. For my part, I don't see how they can be honest. Such a fellow as Tom here
is, is a moral miracle!
Oph.
And what becomes of their souls?
St. C.
That is n't my affair, as I know of. I am only dealing in facts of the present
life. The fact is, that the whole race are pretty generally understood to be
turned over to the devil, for our benefit, in this world, however it may turn
out in another!
Oph.
This is perfectly horrible! You ought to be ashamed of yourselves!
St. C.
I don't know as I am. We are in pretty good company, for all that, as people in
the broad road generally are.
SCENE VI.--New Orleans. A Parlor in ST. CLARE'S House.
Enter ST. CLARE and TOPSY. St. Clare.
Come down here, cousin; I 've something to show you.
Enter MISS OPHELIA, sewing in hand. Ophelia.
What is it?
St. Clare.
I 've made a purchase for your department--see here.
Oph.
Augustine, what in the world did you bring that thing here for?
St. C.
For you to educate, to be sure, and train in the way she should go. I thought
she was rather a funny specimen in the Jim Crow line. Here, Topsy, this is your
new mistress. I 'm going to give you up to here; see, how, that you behave
yourself.
Topsy.
Yes, mas'r.
St. C.
You 're going to be good, Topsy, you understand.
Top.
O, yes, mas'r!
Oph.
Now, Augustine, what upon earth is this for? Your house is so full of these
little plagues, now, that a body can't set their feet down without treading on
'em. I get up in the morning, and find one asleep behind the door, and see one
black head poking out from under the table, one lying on the door-mat; and they
are mopping, and mowing, and grinning between all the railings, and tu mbling
over the kitchen floor! What on earth did you want to bring this one for?
St. C.
For you to educate--did n't I tell you? You 're always preaching about
educating. I thought I would make you a present of a fresh-caught specimen, and
let you try your hand on her, and bring her up in the way she should go.
Oph.
I don't want her, I am sure; I have more to do with 'em now than I want to.
St. C.
That 's you Christians, all over! You 'll get up a society, and get some poor
missionary to spend all his days among just such heathen. But let me see one of
you that would take one into your house with you, and take the labor of their
conversion on yourselves! No; when it comes to that, they are dirty and
disagreeable, and it 's too much care, and so on.
Oph.
Augustine, you know I did n't think of it in that light. Well, it might be a
real missionary work. But I really did n't see the need of buying this
one--there are enough now, in your house, to take all my time a nd skill.
St. C.
Well, then, Cousin, I ought to beg your pardon for my good-for-nothing speeches.
You are so good, after all, that there 's no sense in them. Why, the fact is,
this concern belonged to a couple of drunken creatures that keep a low
restaurant that I have to pass by every day, and I was tired of hearing her
screaming, and them beating and swearing at her. She looked bright and funny,
too, as if something might be made of her; so I bought her, and I 'll give her
to you. Try, now, and give her a good orthodox New England bringing up, and see
what it 'll make of her. You know I have n't any gift that way; but I 'd like
you to try.
Oph.
Well, I 'll do what I can. Come here, Topsy. How old are you?
Topsy.
Dun no, missis.
Oph.
Don't know how old you are? Did n't anybody ever tell you? Who was your mother?
Top.
Never had none!
Oph.
Never had any mother? What do you mean? Where was you born?
Top.
Never was born!
Oph.
You must n't answer me in that way, child; I 'm not playing with you. Tell me
where you were born, and who your father and mother were.
Top.
Never was born; never had no father nor mother, nor nothin'! I was raised by a
speculator, with lots of others. Old Aunt Sue used to take car of us.
EnterJANE, DINAH, and ROSA. Jane.
Laws, missis, there 's heaps of 'em! Speculators buys 'em up cheap, when they 's
little, and gets 'em raised for market.
Oph.
How long have you lived with your master and mistress?
Top.
Dun no, missis.
Oph.
Is it a year, or more, or less?
Top.
Dun no, missis.
Jane.
Laws, missis, those low negroes, they can't tell; they don't know anything about
time; they don't know what a year is; they don't know their own ages.
Oph.
Have you ever heard anything about God, Topsy?
Top.
[Grins.]
Oph.
Do you know who made you?
Top.
Nobody, as I knows on. I 'spect I grow'd. Don't think nobody never made me.
&
nbsp; Oph.
Do you know how to sew?
Top.
No, missis.
Oph.
What can you do? What did you do for your master and mistress?
Top.
Fetch water, and wash the dishes, and rub knives, and wait on folks.
Oph.
Were they good to you?
Top.
'Spect they was.
Dinah. [Lifting up both hands.]
Good Lor, what a limb! What on 'arth Mas'r St. Care want to bring on dese yer
low nigger young 'uns here for? Wont have her round under my feet, I know.
Oph.
Well, go to your work, all of you. [Exeunt JANE, DINAH, and ROSA.] Come, Topsy,
to my room.
[Exeunt.]
SCENE VII.--A Bed-room. MISS OPHELIA and TOPSY.
Ophelia.
Now, Topsy, I 'm going to show you just how my bed is to be made. I am very
particular about my bed. You must learn exactly how to do it.
Topsy.
Yes, ma'am.
Oph.
Now, Topsy, look here; this is the hem of the sheet--this is the right side of
the sheet, and this is the wrong; will you remember?
Top.
Yes, ma'am.
Oph.
Well, now, the under sheet you must bring over the bolster--so--and tuck it
clear down under the mattress nice and smooth--so; do you see?
Top.
Yes, ma'am.
Oph.
But the upper sheet must be brought down in this way, and tucked under firm and
smooth at the foot--so--the narrow hem at the foot.
Top.
Yes, ma'am.
[Adroitly snatching a pair of gloves and a ribbon, and hiding them in her
sleeve.] Oph.
Now, Topsy, let's see you do this.
[As TOPSY goes to make the bed, the ribbon hangs out of her sleeve.] Oph.
[Seizing it.]
What 's this? You naughty, wicked child--you 've been stealing this!
Top.
Laws! why, that ar's Miss Feely's ribbon, an't it? How could it a got in my
sleeve?
Oph.
Topsy, you naughty girl, don't you tell me a lie; you stole that ribbon!
Top.
Missis, I declar for 't, I did n't; never seed it till dis yer blessed minnit!
Oph.
Topsy, don't you know it 's wicked to tell lies?
Top.
I never tells no lies, Miss Feely; it 's jist the truth I've been a tellin' now,
and an't nothin' else.
Oph.
Topsy, I shall have to whip you, if you tell lies so.
Top.
Laws, missis, if you 's to whip all day, could n't say no other way. I never
seed dat ar--it must a got caught in my sleeve. Miss Feely must have left it on
the bed, and it got caught in the clothes, and so got in my sleeve.
Oph. [Shaking her.]
Don't you tell me that again! [The gloves fall out.] There, you! will you tell
me now you did n't steal the ribbon?
Top.
Laws, missis, I did steal dem ar gloves--but I never did take dat ar ribbon, in
the world, never!
Oph.
Now, Topsy! If you 'll confess all about it, I won't whip you this time.
Top.
Well, den, missis, I did take de ribbon and de gloves both, I did so.
Oph.
Well, now, tell me. I know you must have taken other things since you have been
in the house, for I let you run about all day yesterday. Now, tell me if you
took anything, and I shan't whip you.
Top.
Laws, missis! I took Miss Eva's red thing she wars on her neck.
Oph.
You did, you naughty child! Well, what else?
Top.
I took Rosa's yer-rings--dem red ones.
Oph.
Go bring them to me this minute, both of 'em.
Top.
Laws, missis, I can't--they's burnt up!
Oph.
Burnt up? what a story! Go get 'em, or I 'll whip you!
Top. [Crying and groaning.]
I can't missis, I can't no how! Dey 's burnt up-dey is.
Oph.
What did you burn 'em up for?
Top.
'Cause I 's wicked--I is. I 's mighty wicked, any how. I can't help it, no how.
Enter EVA, with the coral necklace on her neck. Oph.
Why, Eva, where did you get your necklace?
Eva.
Get it? Why, I 've had it on all day.
Oph.
Did you have it on yesterday?
Eva.
Yes; and what is funny, aunty, I had it on all night. I forgot to take it off
when I went to be.
Enter ROSA, with a basket of newly-ironed linen poised on her head, and the
coral ear-drops shaking in her ears. Oph. [In despair.]
I 'm sure I can't tell anything to do with such a child! What in the world did
you tell me you took those things for, Topsy?
Top.
Why, missis said I must 'fess; and I could n't think of nothin' else to 'fess.
Oph.
But, of course, I did n't want you to confess things you did n't do; that 's
telling a lie, just as much as the other.
Top.
Laws, now, is it? Why, how curus!
Rosa.
La, there an't any such thing as the truth in that limb! If I was Mas'r St.
Clare, I 'd whip her till the blood run, I would! I 'd let her catch it!
Eva.
No, no, Rosa! you must n't talk so, Rosa. I can't bear to hear it.
Rosa.
La, sakes! Miss Eva, you 's so good, you don't know nothing how to get along
with niggers. There 's no way but cut 'em well up, I tell ye.
Eva.
Rosa, hush! Don't say another word of that sort.
Rosa.
Miss Eva has got the St. Clare blood in her, that's plain. She can speak for all
the world just like her papa.
[Exit ROSA.] Oph.
Well, I don't know anything what I shall do with you, Topsy.
Top.
Laws, missis, you must whip me! Ole missis always whipped me. I s'pects 's good
for me.
Oph.
Why Topsy, I don't want to whip you. You can do well if you 've a mind to. What
's the reason you won't?
Top.
Why, missis, I 's so used to whippin'.
Oph.
Well, I shall shut you in this closet, to think of your ways a while.
Eva. [Goes up to Topsy.]
Poor Topsy, why need you steal? You 're going to be taken good care of now. I 'm
sure I 'd rather give you anything of mine than have you steal it.
Top.
Ha! ha! dat ar 's curus! Well, I 's gwine in de closet--mebbe I 'll come out
better. [Goes in.]
[Exeunt EVA and MISS OPHELIA.
SCENE VIII.--A Veranda. ST. CLARE lounging on a sofa. MISS OPHELIA sewing.
Ophelia.
Topsy!
Topsy.
Hear me!
Oph.
Let me see if you can say your catechism; and if you can you may go and play.
Did all mankind fall in Adam's first transgression?
Top. [Repeating very rapidly.]
Covenant being made with Adam not only for hisself but for his posterity, all
mankind 'scending from him by ordinar transgression, sinned wid him, and fell in
him, in that fust generation.
Oph.
Stop! stop!! stop!!! Topsy. Why,
how are you saying it?
St. Clare.
Why, what 's the odds? I don't see but that it makes as good sense one way as
the other.
Oph.
St. Clare! now--how can I teach this child if you will take so? And now you 're
laughing!
St. C.
I 'm done. Proceed. Topsy! you careless hussy, mind yourself! Be sure you get
everything in right end first. Now for it!
Oph.
Into what state did the fall bring all mankind?
Top.
Fall brought all mankind into a state of sin and misery. Please ma'am----?
Oph.
What, Topsy?
Top.
Dar 'ar state Kintuck? De Lor' knows dey has sin and misery 'nough dar!
Oph.
Hush, hush, Topsy!
St. C.
No personal reflections, Topsy!
Top.
Please, missis, can't I go play? Dar ar 'bout the generations was so curus!
Never kin get it right nohow!
St. C.
O, yes, coz, let her go. I want you to go up stairs and look at a new carpet I
've been buying for Eva's room. There, Tops, there 's some candy for you. Next
time get the words straight.
[Exeunt ST. CLARE and OPHELIA.] Enter JAKE, AMANDA, and other negro children.
Top.
Dar now, ye niggers! I 'se gittin' eddecated, I is; 'cause I b'longs to Miss
Feely. I larns catechize every day, and you por trash don't. Laws, you 's
runnin' wild all the while! What doos you know? Doos you know you 's all
sinners? Wal, you is, everybody is. White folks is sinners, too--Miss Feely says
so; but I 'spects niggers is the biggest ones; but, lor! ye an't any on ye up to
me. I 's so awful wicked there can't nobody do nothin' with me. I used to keep
old missis a swarin' at me half de time. I 'spects I 's the wickedest crittur in
the world.
Jake.
Ah! Den ye 'll go to torment one dese days, anyhow. Ye won't be quite so crank
then.
Top.
No I shan't--I 's bound to go to heaven, I is.
Amanda.
No ye won't neither!
Top.
Shall too! Miss Feely 's bound to go thar, and they 'll have to let me come too;
cors she 's so curus they won't nobody else know how to wait on her dar! Come,
now, be still touching that thing of mine, or I 'll crack ye over!
[Exit JAKE, running with TOPSY'S thimble. TOPSY follows, with all the rest, in
pursuit.]
SCENE IX.--An Arbor, looking out on Lake Ponchartrain. UNCLE TOM and EVA.
Eva.
O, Uncle Tom, I 'm going to read you some such beautiful places!--now, this:
"Behold, a throne was set in heaven, and one sat on the throne; and he that sat
was to look upon like a jasper and a sardine stone; and there was a rainbow
round about the throne, in sight like unto an emerald. And round about the
throne were four-and-twenty seats; and upon the seats I saw four-and-twenty
elders sitting clothed in white raiment, and they had on their heads crowns of
gold." Only think of it! [She turns to another place.] And, now, this: "And I
saw, as it were, a sea of glass, mingled with fire, and them that had gotten the
victory over the beast stand on the sea of glass, having the harps of God, and
they sing the song of Moses, the servant of God, and the song of the Lamb;
saying, Great and marvel- lous are thy works, Lord God Almighty, just and true
are thy ways, thou King of saints." [Pointing to the lake.] THere 't is, Uncle
Tom! see! there 't is--a sea of glass mingled with fire!
Uncle Tom.
What, Miss Eva?
Eva.
Don't you see--there, that water? There 's a "sea of glass mingled with fire."
Uncle T.
True enough, Miss Eva. [Sings.]
"O, had I the wings of the morning,
I'd fly away to Canaan's shore!
Bright angels should convey me home,
To the new Jerusalem." Eva.
Where do you suppose new Jerusalem is, Uncle Tom?
Uncle T.
O, up in the clouds, Miss Eva!
Eva.
Then, I think I see it! Look in those clouds! they look like great gates of
pearl; and you can see way, way beyond them--far, far off--it 's all gold. Tom,
sing about "spirits bright!"
Uncle T. [Sings.]
"O, what hath Jesus bought for me!
Before my wondering eyes
Rivers of pure delight I see,
And streams of Paradise.
"I see a band of spirits bright,
That taste the glories there;
They all are robed in spotless white,
And conquering palms they bear." Eva.
Uncle Tom, I 've seen them! They come to me sometimes in my sleep, those
spirits. [Sings.]
"They are all robed in spotless white,
And conquering palms they bear."
Uncle Tom, I 'm going there.
Uncle T.
Where, Miss Eva?
Eva. [Rising and pointing up.]
I 'm going there, to the spirits bright, Tom; I 'm going before long.
Oph. [Calling from a distance.]
Eva! Eva! child--come in; the dew is falling! you must not be out there!
SCENE X.--A Veranda. ST. CLARE and MARIE reclining on lounges.
Marie.
I say, Augustine, I must send to the city after my old doctor Posey; I 'm sure I
've got the complaint of the heart.
St. Clare.
Well; why need you send for him? The doctor that attends Eva seems skilful.
Mar.
I would not trust him in a critical case; and I think I may say mine is becoming
The Christian Slave Page 6
