Luis’s eyes went wide, and they stood there in the driveway, staring at each other, awkwardness prevailing. Finally, Tucker couldn’t stand it anymore and laughed, which broke the silence and got Luis smiling.
“I was going to see if you wanted to go for a ride with me.” Luis gestured at his car. “But if you’d rather stay here...”
“Wade’s inside devouring the last of the spaghetti.” And not that Wade would care, but Tucker really didn’t need an audience for this. Besides he was curious as to what Luis had in mind. “Drive sounds good.”
He ducked his head into the house to tell Wade what was up so that he didn’t worry when he saw Tucker’s SUV still in the driveway.
“Go. I’m heading back to Mom’s anyway for my tablet. I’ll probably sleep there.” Wade gave him a meaningful look before Tucker made his escape.
Folding his frame into Luis’s little car was an adventure, and the proximity only served to make him more aware of the distance that remained between them. He wanted to touch Luis so badly, the possibility of curious neighbors and spying Wade be damned, but he didn’t feel he had the right. Not yet.
“I was driving around earlier,” Luis shared as he put the car in gear. “Finished up at the air base, but I couldn’t seem to make myself go back to the hotel, but also couldn’t find the way to you either.”
“Even if you didn’t, I was going to come to you. I know it’s only been two days, but it feels like two years.”
“Maybe we can meet somewhere in the middle.” Laughing, Luis headed into town.
“Let’s try.” Tucker didn’t laugh with him because that was exactly what he wanted to do, find some common ground to build on.
“Okay.” Luis echoed Tucker’s gravitas as he turned into the high school parking lot, stopping near the football field. “I know this isn’t exactly the middle. But I keep coming back in my head to where it started.”
“Me too. God, how many hours did we spend in those bleachers talking?” Tucker swore that if he squinted he could see the ghosts of their younger selves up there, second row from the top of the home team section.
“Exactly. And I was here earlier. Ran into Walker actually.” Drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, Luis glanced over at him.
“You did?” The parking lot was mostly deserted, only another couple of vehicles. No sign of Walker and Wade’s car. It was still plenty light, but the sky had taken on that warm late August evening rosiness.
“Yeah. He thought maybe he was to blame for us falling out. I set him straight.” Luis gave a firm nod.
“Good.” He never doubted that he could trust Luis to say the right thing with his kids. “Only fault here is mine.”
“And mine,” Luis added quickly, bumping shoulders with Tucker. “Let’s not play the blame game.”
“Good point, but—”
“No blaming yourself.” Luis gave him a stern look. “Anyway, I sat in the bleachers for a long time, thinking. About us then and us now and everything in between.”
“I feel that.” Tucker looked out at the bleachers again, at the ghosts roaming around this campus, seeing both who they had been but also who they could be now as well. “Feels like I’ve done nothing but think since Saturday night.”
“Same. And I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that I don’t want to say goodbye.” Luis met his gaze, eyes dark pools of seriousness.
“Me either.” Tucker inhaled sharply.
“That’s why I wanted to bring you here. Remember when we would have each done anything to stay together?”
“Yeah.” Damn. He could remember the feel of Luis’s skinny fingers against his own, the press of their sneakers under the bleachers. “We would have given a lot to not say goodbye back then, which is why—”
“—I’m willing to move,” they both said at the same time.
“What? Seriously?” Tucker swiveled in his seat to better study Luis’s face. “You were right. It wasn’t fair of me to ask you to stay here. Especially not if I wasn’t willing to consider the opposite option. And I wasn’t giving enough respect to the life you’ve got back in California.”
“I appreciate that.” Luis patted Tucker’s thigh. “A lot. But I wasn’t being flexible either.”
“You shouldn’t have to be. Compromise should be on both of us, not all on you.” He grabbed Luis’s hand on his leg before Luis could pull it back.
“Yeah.” Luis blew out a rough breath. “But the facts haven’t changed. If we want to be together—”
“I do. More than anything.” Conviction made his voice rough, even in a whisper.
“Me too.” Luis squeezed his hand. “And if that’s the goal, then one of us needs to at least think about moving. And you weren’t wrong that I’m more in position to do that than you.”
He hated how resigned Luis sounded and knew that a lot of that was his own fault for being so damn stubborn. But he could fix that now. “Not necessarily.”
“Oh?” Luis’s head tilted.
Outside, some kids drove through the parking lot, windows down and peals of laughter echoing through the evening air. But inside Luis’s car, Tucker was all seriousness.
“This life I’ve got here...it’s changing.” He hadn’t wanted to admit it, even to himself, but saying it aloud helped make it more real. “Another year and both boys will out of the house, one way or another. Wade’s looking at colleges all over. And no matter what Walker decides, he’ll move on too. And then it’s me and an empty house and a lot of mixed-up thinking about what my life is and what it has to be.”
Luis frowned at that. “Not sure I want to be your empty-nest fallback plan.”
“That’s not what I mean.” Making a frustrated noise, Tucker tried to meet his gaze. “I’m not saying you’re...some sort of replacement. More that you’re my future.”
“I like the idea of being your future. A lot,” Luis said softly, looking down at their linked hands.
“I’ve put the boys first for over seventeen years now, and maybe it’s okay now if I listen to what I want, at least give some thought to my own needs and wants.” It had taken him days to reach that conclusion, but the more he thought on it, the less he wanted to end up thirty years from now bitter at all the chances he never took.
“I get that.” Luis nodded. “However, much as I want to be your future, I also can’t deny that you’ve built a life here. You’ve got deep roots.”
“And I let those roots hold me back once before. I’m not going to do that again.” He kept his voice steady, but some of his frustration at past regrets seeped into his tone.
“Your family—”
“Is mainly only Heidi and the boys these days. The rest of them, my parents and such, can either come around to being supportive or not. I’m not making any decisions with them in mind. I spent too many damn years caring about what they thought, and I’m not going to start again.”
“Fair enough.” Luis restlessly moved his fingers in Tucker’s grasp, thumb sweeping along the edge of Tucker’s fingers.
“And you do have a great family. That’s not nothing. It doesn’t feel fair to ask you to leave all that extended network behind simply because I’ve got a few connections here that I’m reluctant to leave behind.”
“I appreciate that, but you’ve got more of a support system here than I was willing to admit as well. I was so focused on the past that I wasn’t allowing myself to see a future here.” Turning more in his seat, Luis added his other hand on top of their linked fingers. “You’ve got friends. We wouldn’t be alone. The area has changed some. When I really let myself stop and think things through, I could see a life here. And more importantly, I was having a hard time seeing a life back home without you.”
“That...thank you.” Licking his suddenly parched lips, he swallowed hard. “And same. I mean it. I close my eyes and think abou
t the future and it’s you. The where matters a lot less than the who.”
“Same. I don’t want to look back and think about lost chances, think that if I’d only been a little more flexible that we might have had it all.”
“Maybe that’s on both of us.” Reaching out, Tucker stroked Luis’s jaw. “We were thinking about distance like we were seventeen again, like a couple of months or a year is forever and not the blink of an eye.”
“True. I was all up in my fears.” Luis’s exhale was warm against Tucker’s fingertips.
“Me too. But I want to believe that we can make it this time.” Staying Tucker’s hand, Luis pressed a kiss to his thumb.
“I think we can.” Unable to resist another second, Tucker leaned in for a soft kiss. He’d meant it to be brief, reassuring, but not particularly sexy, but as usual their bodies had their own agenda. He wasn’t even sure who moved to deepen the kiss, only that one moment their lips were barely brushing and the next they were clutching at each other, tongues tangling. Needy sounds filled the car until Luis pulled back, harsh breathing echoing Tucker’s.
“Wow. Enough kisses like that, and I might stop caring about who lives where.” Laughing, Luis rested his head against Tucker’s. “We can stay right here.”
“Ha. Let’s not get arrested for making out in your car all night.” Tucker nudged him with his shoulder.
“I’m willing to risk it.” Voice playful, Luis dramatically slumped against him. Tucker was ready to not have to tangle with the console to properly hold him.
“I know we don’t have all the answers yet, or even a solid plan, but...come back with me? Maybe we don’t have to settle everything right this second.”
“I’ve missed you. So, so much. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to not feel that way again.” Back to solemn, Luis’s eyes shone. There was pain there, and Tucker felt it, deep inside his chest. He’d hurt Luis, and he wanted to do the work to make sure he never did that again.
“Ditto. Whatever it takes.” He held Luis as close as the cramped quarters of the car allowed. And then because the moment felt almost too heavy, he added, “My bed misses you almost as much as me.”
“Is that right? I suppose I can come back, get reacquainted with it.” Luis gave him a fast kiss on the cheek before adjusting his position, rebuckling the seat belt he’d lost at some point. “And I don’t mean sex necessarily. I want to hold you for a while and have it not be so sad this time.”
“We can do that.” Tucker appreciated how cautious Luis always was about not assuming that he was up for sex, but right then, they were on the same page. He wanted Luis back in his bed, in all senses of the word, wanted to hold him and never let go. He had to believe they’d figure everything else out in time.
Chapter Twenty-Four
On the way back to Tucker’s house, Luis felt a thousand pounds lighter than he had earlier in the day. They still didn’t have all the answers for how to make this work, but he now believed they would, which was a marked improvement.
“Okay. Dad duties done for the day.” Looking up from his phone as Luis turned down his street, Tucker gave a boyish grin. “Wade’s over at Heidi’s playing a game on his tablet. Apparently, he ate an entire second dinner with them when Isaac cooked late.”
“Somehow I’m not surprised. And the other twin?” Luis parked next to Tucker’s SUV.
“Walker’s on his way back from Mary Anne’s, and Heidi says she’ll text when he’s back for the night.”
“So I can race you to your bed?” Luis waggled his eyebrows at Tucker as they made their way up the walk. Joking was far easier than returning to the heavy conversation and all the surprising revelations like Tucker being willing to move. Luis simply couldn’t unpack that offer right then, needed the humor to take the edge off all his roiling emotions, most of which he couldn’t even name.
“You can absolutely race me to my bed.” Tucker all but beamed as he unlocked the door, then right when Luis was going to drag him close for a kiss, he slipped around Luis and headed for the stairs. “But I’m going to win.”
“We’ll see about that.” Careful to not actually knock Tucker down, Luis jostled him as they bounded up the stairs. He overtook him at the landing, but then Tucker took the remaining steps two at a time, leaving Luis to play catchup in the hallway. Both of them flat-out sprinted for the bed, diving for it and landing in a heap of limbs and laughter.
“Beat you.” Tucker was breathing hard and Luis couldn’t wait to make him pant for other reasons if he got the chance.
“It was a tie.” Luis had ended up half on top of Tucker. Peering down at him, he gave him the softest of kisses. He didn’t need sex. Just this closeness, them together blanketed by their resolve to find a solution.
Of course, his body wasn’t going to turn something other than cuddling down, and when Tucker growled and kissed him back with a ferocity that made Luis’s blood hum, he more than welcomed it. Tucker this kind of aggressive was exactly the vibe he was craving. He generally loved being the one calling the shots, but there was also something intoxicating and freeing about letting Tucker set the pace. He liked how Tucker meandered along, trying different ways of kissing, but slowly ramping the heat up at the same time.
Tucker paused from exploring Luis’s mouth to pluck at his shirt buttons. “Too many clothes.”
“At least you got a chance to change after work.” Sharing the urge for skin, he pushed at Tucker’s T-shirt.
“Hazard of cooking with Wade.” Tucker untangled their bodies before gesturing at Luis’s clothing. “Less talking, more stripping.”
“Yes, sir.” Luis had to laugh because bossy Tucker was the best Tucker. He got busy on his buttons before adding, “And you too.”
“Damn.” Shirt off and hands on his jeans, Tucker stopped, eyes sweeping over Luis. “Every time...can’t believe how lucky I am to get to see you like this.”
“Sweet talker.” Luis made fast work of his remaining clothes before leaning in for another kiss. “And you’re not so bad yourself.”
Tucker truly was a feast for the senses—fuzzy chest, defined muscles, and hard cock—but even more than looking at his body, Luis was enjoying listening to him, the laughter and light banter like helium for a heart that had been way too heavy at the start of the day.
“Come here again. Right like you were.” Tucker stretched out on his back on the bed again, opening his arms wide.
“Yeah? You like this?” Fully naked now, Luis straddled his waist, letting his cock drag against Tucker’s abs.
“You have to ask?” Tucker bumped his hips upward and shifted so that his impressive erection nestled under Luis’s ass and balls.
“Maybe I like hearing it.” He laughed but he really did relish every sound Tucker made from needy gasps to dirty words. Knowing he turned Tucker on this much made his shoulders and chest lift, puffing up like some sort of erotic superhero. Experimenting to see what got more delicious sounds from Tucker, he ground against him. “Damn you feel good.”
“Right back at you.” Eyes locked on Luis, Tucker groaned. His hands swept over Luis’s back and thighs, lingering on his ass, making Luis crave more contact.
“Want to ride you. You think you could be up for that?” Much as Luis loved fucking Tucker, tonight he wanted this. He’d always loved switching things up, but he wasn’t sure if Tucker felt the same way.
“Is that a trick question?” Tucker was already twisting for the nightstand drawer.
Accepting the supplies from Tucker, Luis chuckled at his ready interest. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Tell me what you like, how to get you ready.” Tucker’s earnestness as he danced his fingertips down Luis’s spine was fucking adorable. If Luis wasn’t already sure he was the perfect guy for him, Tucker turning out to be as enthusiastically versatile as Luis might have done it.
“Kiss me w
hile I do it.” Luis reached for the lube. The truly nice thing about Tucker was that Luis wasn’t afraid to ask for exactly what he wanted. Tucker seemed to genuinely love indulging all of Luis’s likes, and that was heady stuff.
Indeed, Tucker’s eyes twinkled as he sat up enough to brush a kiss across Luis’s mouth. “Should have known you’d stay a control freak.”
“You complaining?” Luis raised an eyebrow as he slicked up his fingers. He liked getting fucked from time to time, but he wasn’t as crazy about fingering. Lubing up and stretching always seemed to slow things down more than he liked, but aware of Tucker’s eyes on him in between trading kisses, he played a little, working himself open. The kisses got hotter and he groaned as much from that as from the ass play.
“Definitely not complaining. Watching you do that is hot as hell.” Tucker’s lascivious grin made Luis wish his back muscles were a little more flexible, so he could give Tucker even more of a sexy show. But also the more Tucker looked at him with such blatant lust, the more impatient Luis’s body became.
“Mmm. You haven’t seen anything yet.” Withdrawing his fingers, he quickly wiped them on the T-shirt Tucker handed him. He loved both how naturally chivalrous Tucker was and how in sync they already were, even after only a few times together. In all things, it felt like he wanted and Tucker was right there, giving. And Tucker was also the perfect blend of leader and follower, groaning and stretching as Luis rolled the condom on him, gaze hungry but not pushing to take the fuck over.
Wanting to reward him, Luis quickly lubed Tucker’s cock up, and holding it steady with his hand, he positioned himself over it. Since Tucker seemed to like watching so much, he held Tucker’s gaze as he slowly lowered down, a smooth move that had them both gasping.
Feel the Fire (Hotshots) Page 24
