“You didn’t know what you wanted.” He tried to reason with me. “You were just eighteen.”
“I knew what I wanted. I knew how I felt. My feelings haven’t changed. I still ache to be with you. To be yours.” I pulled away from him, hurt and angry. “I have been put through so much pain and misery watching you with all of your girlfriends. And now you tell me that all this time you wanted me too?” I shook my head, not believing him. If he had cared even half as much as I did, he could never have put me through all of that. “I don’t believe you. How can you say you care about me when you have done nothing but hurt me for nearly three years?”
“I…” He frowned. “I don’t know. Hell, I always thought of it as protecting you. And maybe of protecting myself a little as well. There were so many times I came close to giving in, Kari. So many times, I came within an inch of telling your mother to go to hell and taking what I wanted. But I’d made her a promise.”
My laugh was anything but humorous. “Well, if that was you protecting me, please don’t ever try to hurt me. I doubt I would survive it.” I took several steps back, realized that everyone was shooting us interested glances, and laughed again. Figures. No doubt we would be the talk of the town by morning. “I’m going home.”
“Kari!” He stormed after me but didn’t attempt to stop me until we were outside, away from the majority of the curious onlookers. It was only as I asked the doorman to get me a cab that he grasped my wrist and pulled me around to face him. “Don’t go home. Come with me, and let’s talk about this.”
“Keith…” I blew out a long, frustrated sigh. “Just give me a few days. I need to think about all of this. You just told me that the entire time I thought my feelings for you were one-sided, they weren’t. And that hurts me just as much as thinking you never cared at all.” I tossed my tangled blond hair out of my eyes. “Back at Christmas, watching you with Eliza… Trying to make you see how much I cared, only to have you say those terrible things to me?” Tears burned my eyes, and I turned my head away so he couldn’t see just how hurt I still was.
“I’m sorry, baby.” He caught my chin, forcing me to lift my face to him, but I kept my lashes lowered. “It was never Eliza I wanted. God, couldn’t you see she was just a poor substitute for you? Didn’t you notice how I never really paid her any attention?”
“No. Because I was too busy trying to keep my jealousy from showing so much.”
A small smile teased the corners of his sinfully sexy mouth. “And I loved every minute of it. May fifteenth couldn’t come fast enough.”
I felt myself starting to melt a little. I wanted to be in his arms and, yes, in his bed. But sanity was still holding on, if only by its fingernails, as I stepped back away from him and the dangerous pull he had on my heart and body. “Give me a few days. Then we can talk about this again.”
Reluctantly, he nodded and opened the door of the taxi as it pulled up to the curb. “A few days,” he promised, albeit hesitantly. “I’ll call you.”
***
By Sunday evening, my apartment was spotless. I had scrubbed every surface, mopped, vacuumed, or steamed every room. Even Bianca’s room, which my friend had been thrilled about because she never wanted to clean her floors. All three toilets were sparkling. Even the windows gleamed from the inside out.
Whenever I had something big on my mind, I tended to go on cleaning sprees. For some reason, it helped me to think better.
But this time, the issue must have been too big, because I was no closer to deciding where I wanted things to go with Keith. With a tired sigh, I tossed my cleaning supplies into the little closet in the kitchen and took a long, hot shower. When I went back to my room in just a T-shirt and a pair of panties, it was nearly seven, and I was ready to call it a night.
Bianca had gone to Christian’s house for the night because they had a lot of things to “discuss” before he left for Japan the next morning. Not even my noise-canceling headphones could block those two out when they were that wild for each other. Christian was going to be gone for at least two weeks, and since he and Bianca had officially started dating six months before, there weren’t very many nights that they had spent apart. The next two weeks were going to be difficult for them both.
Honestly, I was kind of envious of my bestie. She had a decent man who enjoyed being with her. True, the couple had been up and down for the last few years because Christian was so… Well…Christian. But I felt that, given time, the guy could really settle down and make an honest woman out of Bianca. Maybe.
Or then again, I could be totally wrong. Just as I had been so completely wrong about Keith over the years.
Frustrated, I pulled my extra pillow over my face and screamed into it. As I was having my little tantrum, the cordless on my nightstand rang, and I reached for it without even stopping to check the caller ID. “This is Kari,” I mumbled.
“Kari, baby, it’s me.”
My entire body clenched with desire at just the sound of his deep, gravelly voice. My heart skipped a beat as I pulled the pillow away from my face. “Hi,” I murmured breathlessly.
“I know I promised to give you a few days. But I am going out of my mind here, Kari.” His laugh was full of weary, self-deprecating humor, and I imagined him stabbing his fingers through his dark hair in frustration.
“I …” I bit the inside of my cheek, hard. “I still don’t know what to tell you,” I said honestly. “And I still don’t know what you really want from me. What exactly are we talking about here, Keith? Do you want to go to bed with me? Do you want a few hours, days, weeks of being in my bed? Or do you want something a little riskier? Like an actual relationship?”
There was a long pause, and I wondered desperately what was going through that handsome head of his. When he finally spoke, he sounded almost angry. “Kari, if all I wanted was sex from you, I could have had that long before now. Of course I want something more substantial with you. For the first time in my life, I want to see where a relationship can go if given the chance. Can you give me that chance, Kari?”
Suddenly all my reservations, all my doubts and fears, were pushed to the back burner. Keith wanted more than just a good time in my bed. He really did care for me. “I’m alone in the apartment. Come over.”
I heard the deep breath he sucked in and the long, drawn-out sigh that sounded almost like relief. “I’ll be there within the hour.”
six
I was beside myself with excitement and nerves. As the hour slowly ticked by, I pulled on a pair of running shorts, forgoing a bra, and then paced. My apartment was spotless, so I had nothing to occupy my mind as I waited for Keith to get there.
My heart was racing like mad, my body on fire because I knew tonight I would be his.
When the security intercom buzzed, I was already standing by the box. I took a few deep breaths to steady myself before pressing the button. “Hi.”
“Hey, baby.” Just the sound of his voice, knowing he was so close now, made me tremble. “Let me in.”
Without another word, I pressed the button that unlocked the door downstairs. It took three minutes before the doorbell chimed, and I pulled it open almost immediately, too excited to care that I was being so obvious in my rush to see him.
No sooner was the door opened than I was in his arms. I had no time to think as he lifted me off my feet. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his lean waist. We barely had enough sanity left to remember to shut and lock the door before his lips were on mine and we had our first kiss.
Fuck, but he was a good kisser. I felt as if I was being absorbed by him as he nibbled on my full bottom lip. My fingers thrust into his thick, dark hair, wanting the kiss to never end. The first taste of his tongue as he stroked my own made me moan. It was deliciously sweet, and I realized he had been drinking coffee.
“Kari…” His lips left mine to kiss a blazing trail down my throat, making my skin wake up right along with the rest of my body. “Kari, you have about a minute to stop this befo
re I can’t.” He nipped my shoulder and tightened his arms around me. “Decide. Now.”
But I didn’t need to make any decisions. They had all been made from the minute I picked up the phone earlier. Without a word, I captured his lips and showed him I was a good kisser too.
He growled low in his throat. The strength of it vibrated my chest, causing my already aching breasts to tighten and my nipples to grow diamond-hard. I moaned and pulled back, already working on the buttons of his dress shirt.
“Kari,” he groaned my name as I sent a few buttons flying in my rush to touch the hot skin of his chest. “Which room is yours?”
I pointed, too caught up in what I was doing to bother with words. He carried me down the hall to my room, kicking the door shut behind us before turning and dropping me on my bed. With a pout at having to stop, even momentarily, I reached for him again.
He caught both of my wrists in one of his big hands. “Baby, you are going to make me lose my head. Let’s slow this down before I reach the point of no return.”
“This has gone slow enough,” I said with a moan. “I have been aching for three damn years, Keith. Now let go of me, and give me what I need.”
His eyes dilated with raging desire, and I knew I’d pleased him. I pulled my wrists free of his slackened hold and tugged him down onto the bed with me. Before his back could even hit the mattress, we were kissing again. I felt drunk on the taste of him. My body was inflamed with needs I had only guessed this man and this man alone could unleash inside of me.
His hand cupped my breast through my thin T-shirt, and I cried out at the exquisite pleasure. “So sensitive,” he half groaned as he pinched my nipple and rolled the hard nub around with his thumb and index finger.
Muscles clenched low in my stomach as liquid desire drenched my panties. “Keith, stop teasing me,” I pleaded. “I don’t think I can take much more.”
“Hush,” he commanded in a voice harsh with need as he gently pushed me back against the pillows.
He shrugged out of his shirt before reaching for the hem of my own. I lifted my arms helplessly so he could strip it from me. Keith sucked in a sharp breath when my breasts sprang free. “So beautiful,” he muttered almost under his breath as he caressed the underside of each swollen globe. “Perfect.” His eyes were glazed with desire and tenderness as he slowly lowered his head to lick first my right nipple, then my left in turn.
The hot, wet heat of his mouth made me moan. My fingers stabbed into his hair as I held him to me, not wanting the pleasure to ever end. Unthinkingly, my thighs parted as he slid one knee in between. His thick, muscular thigh pressed hard against my core, and I trembled with so much need, my entire body ached. I pushed my hips harder upward into his thigh, trying to find some small measure of relief from this burning he was kindling deep inside of me.
“God, you could come right now, couldn’t you?” he growled as he rubbed his thigh back and forth against me.
“Keith, please.”
“Hush, baby.” He kissed my nipple one last time before pulling back and reaching for my shorts. In one smooth motion, my shorts and panties were gone. He tossed them over his shoulder and sat back on his heels to gaze down at me. “Open up for me, Kari.”
Thighs trembling, I pulled up my knees and slowly spread them wide for him. The look in his eyes, the way he couldn’t seem to catch his breath all of a sudden, the tremor in his fingers as he slowly skimmed them over my wet folds… I knew he wasn’t far from losing control, and it thrilled me.
I do this to him!
One long finger slid across my clit, and I couldn’t hold back my whimper. He did it again, seeming transfixed as he watched me quiver with each brush of his finger. My chest was shaking from the force of my pounding heart. My nipples so hard they were aching from wanting his mouth on them.
Carefully, oh so slowly, his middle finger circled my most intimate opening. “Oh God, Keith!” I threw my head back in sweet agony as his middle finger entered me carefully. “Please…”
“So wet.” He smiled secretly and ran that wet finger over my swollen clit as he started a steady, torturous rhythm. Two, slow, exotic thrusts inside with his long finger, followed by four exquisite strokes up and down my clit. Over and over again, until I was one trembling mass of need for him.
“Keith…” I whispered his name, my voice not sounding like my own. I was close to tears because the pleasure was just so sweet. “I want you, Keith.”
“Soon, baby. Very soon.” His speed increased, lasting longer in between stroking my swollen clit.
I rocked my hips in time with his thrusting finger, riding his hand as I desperately sought the end of the madness consuming my body and mind. He stopped, making me whimper. But before I could protest, he added a second finger, stretching me deliciously. His thumb rubbed me as his thrusting fingers grew more insistent. I couldn’t catch my breath, couldn’t focus, couldn’t even remember my own damn name as he pushed me higher and higher.
I began to shake, my toes curling, my thighs stiffening as I finally was pushed over the edge of the cliff I had so willingly let him lead me to. His thumb pressed down hard on my clit as he continued to thrust those strong fingers into me again and again, making my climax harder, more earthshaking. Unable to control it, my back arched and I screamed so loud I was sure everyone on the busy city street below could hear me.
Before I could come completely down, he tore off his pants and boxers. There was the sound of something being ripped open, and then I was being filled with the man I loved. I wrapped my legs around his waist, ignoring the sharp pinch as he broke through my virginity. For a second, he seemed dazed, either by the knowledge that he was my first or from the incredibly, devastatingly blissful feel of being inside of me.
“Kari!” he bit out my name, his control already beginning to slip as drops of sweat beaded on his forehead. “Okay?”
I could only nod, already rocking against him. “Please,” I whimpered. “I’m close.”
His eyes dilated to the point there was no green left in those beautiful eyes of his. With a grin, he pulled almost completely from my body before slamming back into me, as if he couldn’t control his movements, then pressed down hard right where I needed him the most. My nails bit into his shoulders as he did it again and again. I screamed as he set the driving rhythm, pounding into me, and I loved that he couldn’t contain his need for me.
“Keith!” I shattered in his arms, my inner muscles contracting in powerful spasms around his engorged length, milking his orgasm from him seconds later.
“Baby!” he shouted just before he emptied himself deep inside of me.
***
I stretched happily as the sun peeked through my window. The warm body spooned behind me shifted, and hard thighs pressed against the backs of mine. Grinning, happier than I could remember being in a long, long time, I lay there for the longest time just soaking it all in.
Last night had been… Perfection.
Keith worshiped me with his body. Taking me to places I didn’t even know existed, with just the brush of his fingers against my skin. Now, this morning I was tender and achy in such a good way, and all I wanted to do was spend the rest of my life in bed with the man beside me.
A big, long-fingered hand cupped my breasts as a stubble-roughened chin caressed my shoulder as he kissed my neck. And just like that, I was wet and aching to have him fill me once more. “Morning, babe,” he whispered as he nipped on my earlobe. “Sleep well?”
“When I actually got to sleep, yes. Some sexy, green-eyed devil kept me awake most of the night.” I whimpered as he tugged on my nipple. It hurt so, so good. “Keith…”
Something silky hard pulsed against the roundness of my ass, and I melted back into him. “It’s seven thirty, baby. If you have somewhere you need to be, then tell me now.”
There was nowhere in the world I needed to be more than right there. “Please, Keith,” I breathed his name as he teased me with a long finger from behind. I opene
d for him at once, dying to have him inside of me once more.
He sucked in a sharp breath when he discovered how wet I already was for him. “Damn, baby.” He bit my shoulder. “Already?”
“Yes!” I cried as the head of his cock slowly entered me from behind.
He cursed as he slid all the way to the hilt, my inner muscles quivering at the pleasure and a little at the newness this still was for me. “Fuck, I never imagined it would be this good.” He thrust hard against me.
“Neither did I,” I moaned as tiny explosions went off inside me.
“I’m already close,” he muttered with a curse that I didn’t hear completely. He stopped suddenly and pulled out, making me cry out, missing his hardness filling me. “Hush. Trust me. I don’t want it to be over so quickly.”
Neither did I, but my aching body was pleading for the release that only he could give me.
He sat up and urged me onto my stomach. “God, you have a great ass.” He squeezed each cheek roughly, his finger skimming down my seam before traveling lower and teasing the lips of my pussy. “Did you know that I am an ass man?”
“No,” I answered with a moan as he pinched my clit. “I-I always thought of you as a breast kind of man.”
“Oh, I love breasts, baby. And yours are the most incredibly perfect set I have ever seen.” His fingers trailed my wetness back up my ass, his index finger circling my most forbidden hole, making my cheeks burn and my body tremble at how much I liked that small little tease. It wasn’t normal to like that… Was it? But I did. I liked it a hell of a lot, actually. “But I have always been an ass man. And this ass?” He slapped one ass cheek just hard enough to make a loud sound, but not enough to sting. “This ass has starred in many, many of my fantasies.”
“So it has tormented you, has it?” I glanced at him over my shoulder, and he lifted his eyes to meet my gaze. “Good,” I told him with a sassy smirk. “Now make me come again.”
Our Broken Love Page 6
