I cut off a slice of the sausage, popping it into my mouth and chewing.
“What happened?” he asked. “I mean, you did seem a bit distracted during the hike.”
“I bought the twins some toys, that’s all. Had ‘em shipped to Kenna’s place. They’re supposed to get there this morning.”
“Alright,” Patrick said. “That’s not so bad, is it, then?”
“I figured it’d be a way to let her know I was still around, that I hadn’t forgotten about the little ones. You know, a little something to brighten their day.”
“Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. What on Earth are you worried about?”
“I paid extra to have them delivered first-thing – got this private company that picks up the package from the post so ya don’t have to wait for it to get delivered by UPS.”
“Sure, sure.”
“Point is, it surely arrived, but I haven’t heard a peep from Kenna about it.”
Patrick flipped his wrist and checked the time on his Omega Diver. “Alright, it’s about eight. Girl’s probably getting her day started – nothing to worry about. She’s got twins, after all. Can’t imagine there’s much time to fire off texts when you’ve got little ones to worry about. I say don’t get stressed over it.”
I shook my head. “And that’s the other thing – I never get stressed about things like this. If I’m seeing a girl or whatever, I never worry about whether she’s going to return my texts. If she doesn’t, there’s always another one down the way, right?”
“Of course. And women can smell desperation – about as stinky a cologne as they come.”
I half-smiled. “For certain. But with Kenna, it’s like all that got tossed out the window. I’m checking my phone like a madman, hoping for a text from her that says, ‘thanks for the gifts’ or ‘I love them’.”
Patrick seemed confused. “Well, stop doing that. No sense getting worked up over something you can’t control.”
“I know, I know. It’s just that with Kenna, it’s like there’s a hell of a lot more on the line. What if she cuts me out of her life completely and I never get to see my kids?”
“Well, they’re your kids. Have you told her you want to be a figure in their lives?”
“Well, I did, but then I said a bunch of stupid bullshit that muddied the waters a bit.”
“But you haven’t told her you’re not going to be there for them?”
“Right.”
He snorted, then sipped his coffee.
“What?”
“Finn, brother, I swear.”
“What is it?”
He sat forward, clasping his hands together. I scooped a spoonful of beans and shoved them into my mouth, knowing that as much as I didn’t feel like eating, I needed food in me.
“Alright. So, right now you’re in a bit of a state of limbo, yeah? You’re going back and forth, wondering if you’re gonna hear from Kenna.”
“Right. And it’s making me crazy.”
“Now, imagine how she feels. You two had that conversation the night I showed up, and it was left undecided. Kenna’s being a mom, living her life, and has no idea what kind of role the father of her children’s going to play in it all.”
I said nothing, processing his words.
“And then you send her some toys for the kids? What’s she supposed to make of that? I mean, maybe she’ll be happy about it, but more likely than not, she’s gonna be all kinds of confused.”
“You’re saying I fucked up?”
“No. I’m saying you need to let her know one way or another what kind of man you’re going to be in her life. If you’re a dear ol’ da, that’s great. If you’re not in their lives, that’s a bummer for the little ones, but at least you’re a known quantity. Right now, you’re just a big question mark. And what you did is only going to make you more of one.”
I sipped my coffee, feeling like a right ass. But before he said another word, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I eagerly yanked my phone out so fast I nearly whipped it across the room.
Can we meet? Your office at 12:30?
Sounds great.
“Was that her?” Patrick asked.
“Yep. She’s coming by the office later.”
“Then there you go,” he said with a nod. “Good news is you’re going to find out one way or another. Now, quit stressing and eat your damn breakfast, brother. Roxie would hit you upside the head for letting all that go cold.”
My anxious stomach had settled at the sight of the text, so I eagerly tore into my meal. Minutes later I had a clean plate, all of it washed down with some delicious coffee.
Once that was done, I threw on my tie, bid Patrick a good day, and headed out the door.
I couldn’t get over how damn happy I was during the drive. Kenna’s text hadn’t really answered any questions. If anything, it was pretty vague. But at least I was going to see her, to find out how she felt about what I’d done. And hopefully get another chance to plead my case to her.
I strolled into the office, my first patient of the day an eight-year-old with a slight rash on his skin here and there. He was all kinds of upset about it, poor boy thinking his skin was going to come off, his mother worried sick that he’d developed some kind of awful condition. I put their minds at ease when I asked if they’d switched to a new laundry detergent recently. Mom’s eyes lit up, she said “yes,” and I told her that this was a common reaction to certain kinds of detergent. I prescribed some topical cream for the rash and told her to switch back to her old detergent and give me a ring in a few days.
The rest of the morning went just as well. Parents arrived worried with their kids, and after putting the little ones at ease, I solved the issues one after another. As I did, it occurred to me how strange it was that I was so damn good with my patients while being so clueless when it came to my own children.
Noon rolled around, and I was so eager to see Kenna I couldn’t think straight. I went to my office, and on the way there let my secretary know to send Kenna in whenever she arrived.
At half after noon, a knock sounded on my office door. I hopped out of my seat and opened the door. And there she was. With the box of toys in her hands.
Not a good sign.
Without a word, she marched past me and dropped the box onto my desk, where it landed with a thud.
“Hi, Mommy!” spoke the doll, her voice muffled. “Want to play?”
“Well?” I asked with a grin. “Do you?”
“Cute,” she said, shutting the door.
I was being a smartass, but that didn’t mean I didn’t feel tense about the direction the conversation seemed to be going.
Kenna looked good – damn good. She wore a navy pantsuit, the fabric loose but just tight enough to cling to her curves. The white blouse underneath was tight against her breasts. Her look was professional and effortlessly sexy all at once. I wasn’t sure what she wanted to say, exactly, but damned if the sight of her didn’t make me hard as a stone.
But if there was any doubt about her mood regarding the gifts, her next words dissipated it.
“You want to tell me what the hell you were thinking?”
Chapter 22
KENNA
It took all the restraint I had not to toss that box of toys right at that smiling face of his. It was pure Finn – cocky and confident and not seeming to give a damn about what I was feeling.
“Are you freaking serious with this?” I asked, my French-tipped nail pointing at the box. My finger shook slightly from anger, and I hoped he didn’t see it and mistake it for nervousness.
“What?” he asked, opening the box and sifting through it. “Did you see this fire truck?” He lifted the toy out of the box and pointed at it, as if it spoke for itself. “This is state-of-the-art stuff, Kenna. You can download an app on your phone and have it connect to the local fire stations so ya know when a truck is coming through nearby. I would’ve killed for something like this when I was Sam’s age. And don’t even get me st
arted on the doll.”
He followed this up with a cheeky grin, one I wanted to smack right off. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and raised my palms in front of me. A few deep, calming breaths were in order; otherwise, I ran the very real risk of hoisting the good doctor out of his desk chair and pitching him out the window behind him.
It was all so infuriating, made even more so by the fact that I’d had a damn good day up to that point. The tasting had gone well; my belly was full of yummy food that Chef Bennett had whipped up for my sampling pleasure. Even the meeting with Marla Whitford had gone well, my new ideas for the design and look of the Valentine’s Day event piquing her interest.
But at that moment, I was pissed. And I had one man to blame for my mood – the annoyingly handsome Irish pediatrician seated calmly at the desk across from me.
“Tell me your reasoning,” I said, trying to be logical. “Tell me why you thought it was a good idea to randomly send a box of way-too-expensive toys to the twins.”
“You serious?” he asked. Finn planted his feet on the floor and rose from his chair, making his way over to the coffee machine on the far side of the office. He spoke as he poured us each a cup. “Why would I send kids toys? How about because I thought it would make them happy?” He made his way over to me with a ceramic mug but hesitated before giving it to me. “Maybe coffee’s not a good idea – you seem pretty hopped-up as it is.”
He flashed me one more smirk before offering me the cup. I shook my head, not in the mood to accept a damn thing he wanted to give.
“Keep your coffee,” I said. And as soon as I spoke, I realized they sounded a little snipier than I’d hoped.
He raised his eyebrows in mock fear as he set the coffee on his desk. Finn was in full “blowing my feelings off like they were a joke” mode, and I needed to set his ass straight.
There was a little problem with that, however. Namely, the way his ass looked in those dark slacks when he turned to put the mug on his desk. Just the hint of those perfect, muscular cheeks was enough to make my pussy clench. And the way his hair was slicked back, a few strands hanging over his forehead in a charmingly rakish way…he was sexy doctor and charming cad all at once.
And the worst part was that he seemed to know it.
“Finn, I’m going to say this in as clear of terms as I’m capable of – you screwed up.”
His face turned a degree more serious – maybe I was getting through to him. “Tell me what I did wrong, Kenna. Say what you will about this gesture, but you have to realize I did it because I thought it would make the little ones happy.”
“Finn, please don’t make me say the cliché about what the road to hell is paved with.”
“Road to hell? Being a bit dramatic, are we?”
“When it comes to my kids, I don’t give a damn about being dramatic.” I was frustrated, but Finn seemed genuinely confused about what he’d done wrong. I needed to enlighten him.
Finn picked up the box and gave it a once over. “I’m serious, Kenna,” he said. “These are pretty damn snazzy. If the kids don’t want them, maybe I’ll take ‘em home and have some fun.”
I’d hit my limit on his bullshit. I yanked the box out of his hands, Finn’s eyes flashing with surprise.
“I swear, if you don’t stop screwing around and be serious with me, you’d better start praying Duncan’s got a good proctologist on call because I’m going to stick this firetruck so far up your ass you’ll be hearing sirens in your colon!”
I dropped the box on the chair behind me and turned back to Finn. A slight smile played on his luscious mouth for a moment, as if he were thinking about how much he liked to see me fired up like that. But if he was thinking about it, he wisely didn’t say anything.
“Now, are you going to keep running your mouth, or are you going to let me talk?”
“I’m sorry,” he said, seeming at least somewhat contrite. “Go ahead.”
Finally, he was being smart and not a smart-ass. I cleared my throat. “This is exactly what I was worried about when you found out you were the twins’ dad.”
He opened his mouth to speak, wanting to offer his two cents. But I raised my finger and widened my eyes, letting him know I didn’t want to hear a single word. He raised his palms, one hand still holding his coffee mug.
“It’s this half measure stuff I don’t need. The kids have gotten along fine so far with you not being around. And if you wanted to fully commit to them, be a real dad…then we could find a place for you in their lives. But this, sending them random toys and trying to make up for your absence with everything but you actually being there? Nope – that’s the last thing they need.”
Finn crossed his arms over his thick chest, his biceps visible even through the loose white of his doctor’s coat. At that moment, I hated that he was so fucking handsome. I hated that he could pull what he had done, and I was still on the verge of drooling over him.
He let out a quick sigh, glancing away and rubbing the back of his next as he appeared to think over my –in my opinion – very reasonable words.
“But how the hell is that possible, Kenna? When we talked about this the other night, you made it clear there wasn’t a single right answer for me. I back off and don’t be a father, I’m a prick. I take a step back and try to figure out how to fit fatherhood into my life, I’m a prick. I try to compromise and be there for the kids from a distance, I’m a prick. You won’t let me get my bearings on the matter, and it doesn’t seem like there’s a damn thing I can do that won’t result in yak storming into my office and screaming at me.”
“Oh, come on. You’re making it sound like I’m being totally unreasonable.”
“They’re your kids,” he said. “I’m a pediatrician – I know first-hand just how protective parents feel about their children. But dammit, you need to give me the chance to come into their lives. This is hard for me, and I don’t want to fuck it up. I guess I figured that giving them a little something like this would be a way for me to, you know, get my toe in the water, see how this being a da thing might actually feel.”
He went on. And damned if he didn’t seem sincere enough to give me pause. Finn lifted from the edge of the desk where he sat and stepped toward me. “Kenna, I don’t know how this is going to play out. But the last thing I want is for us to be at odds like this. I want to try with the twins – I really do. And you’re gonna have to cut me some slack when I screw up. Alright?”
It was that perfect, calm bedside manner, that friendly, warm Dr. O’Conner way I’d seen when he was treating the kids. And it was working on me.
He stepped closer, placing his hands on my arms. His touch was meant to be reassuring, but damned if it didn’t turn me on like crazy. It reminded me how he touched me when we made love, how held my body with those perfect hands.
Silence fell as we gazed into one another’s eyes. The sexual tension built by the moment.
“You know what the craziest thing is?” he asked. “Even when we’re fighting like this, squabbling like a couple of school kids, I can’t fuckin’ resist you, Kenna.”
His words sent another surge of arousal through my body, one impossible to ignore. I bit my lower lip, glancing away from that heated, sexual stare.
“You’re going to have to,” I said. “Because we can’t…”
“We can’t what?” he asked, his mouth curled in a sexy, challenging sneer, his eyes flickering with playful flirtatiousness. “Tell me what we can’t do.”
I was hopelessly ensnared. His closeness, his gaze, his hands on my body – they all worked together to render me totally powerless to what I knew deep down I wanted. The anger I felt for him turned to something else, and when he placed his hand on my chin and lifted my eyes to his, I knew it was pointless to resist.
Instantly, like two magnets snapping together, our lips locked.
And there wasn’t a trace of regret in me. I wanted hm like crazy.
Our hands flew over one another’s bodies, mine slipping
under his coat and onto his chest, his sweeping down to my hips. We kissed like crazy people, kissed like we’d never be able to kiss again in our lives, kissed like we hadn’t seen each other in years.
As he put his hands on my hips and lifted me off my feet, I didn’t even bother telling him we shouldn’t do this, or that this is a bad idea. The time for disclaimers was over. Finn carried me over to his desk, his lips still on mine as one hand travelled down to the button of my dress slacks and opened them, the zipper following and exposing the top fabric of the red lace panties I wore underneath.
His lips fell to my neck, my whole body breaking out in goosebumps as he kissed me, his fingers flipping up the waistband of my thong and moving over the neatly trimmed hair above my pussy. I pressed my hips against his hand, begging with my body for him to keep going. Finn’s fingers traveled down, his middle gliding over my clit and between my lips.
“Tell me,” he said, his mouth inches from my ear, the low bass of his voice sending shivers up my spine. “What did you think was going to happen when you marched in here looking like that?”
I smiled, just a bit. “I guess I thought you might be able to control yourself.”
“If there’s one thing you should know about me by now, gorgeous, it’s that controlling myself around ya is fuckin’ impossible.”
Before I could respond, his middle finger slipped between my lips, my pussy already soaking wet and ready for him. As my walls wrapped tight around his touch, I knew an orgasm wouldn’t be far behind.
He moved inside me expertly, and I moaned as he slid another finger in, the sensation of him moving in me a tease of how good his cock would feel buried there. His thumb pressed down on my clit, making slow, perfect circles around it, each lazy pass bringing me closer to the brink.
“Come for me,” he purred in my ear. “Show me how good it feels.”
There was that fucking confidence again, the way he just knew without asking that he was giving me what I wanted.
The Irish Doctor’s Secret Babies: A Secret Baby Romance Page 17
