by Fields, MJ
“I’ll give you a minute.”
“When does she leave?” I ask.
“Within the week.”
As she walks past me, she pats my shoulder. “This is what has to happen.”
After she leaves the room, I hurry around to the side of the bed and nonchalantly hide the paper in my pocket as I bend down and kiss her cheek. “I wish there was something I could do, little one. We’ll see you in a few hours.”
* * *
Outside of Tanner’s room, I hear a blood curdling, “No!” before hearing what sounds like furniture being turned upside down.
I rush in and find him struggling to stay upright as he looks at my cell phone.
“There’s nothing we can do, Tanner.”
“He should have let me fucking die!”
As the room quickly fills with hospital staff, I stand in front of him, almost protectively.
“He should have let me fucking die, Doc. Now they have him!”
“Lieutenant Titan,” one of the larger male nurses begins walking toward us.
I turn and plead with Titan, “Please, just get back in bed. Just—”
“They’ve got him, Doc. They’ve got him.” He hands me the phone as I help him into bed. “I need to get the hell out of here!”
I sit next to him, hit play on the video on my phone, and watch in horror as I listen to the news anchor.
“Navy Lieutenant, Jebediah Shadows, the officer who landed his helicopter in enemy territory, putting himself in harm’s way to save his fellow soldiers, is being held by rebels in Syria.
“Tonight, we get a look at him and hear the demands of the men who hold him captive.”
In a language I don’t understand, a male voice speaks. It’s then translated by another man with a thick, Middle-Eastern accent. “What is your name?”
The camera turns to Shadows, and I gasp when I see him. He’s hardly recognizable.
“My name is Sgt. Pepper, and I’m the captain of the lonely hearts club.” His swollen, bruised lips turn up.
When the interpreter repeats his answer, the man who posed the question strikes him across the face. The man yells at him again, and the translator speaks, “State your name, imbecile!”
“My name is Temple, and I am the captain of the good ship lollipop.”
“Stop,” I plead quietly to him, even though he can’t hear me. Then I gasp when I see his head fall back.
“We need to get him the fuck out of there, Doc.” Tanner’s voice trembles in anger.
I grab his hand when the screen goes fuzzy and the anchor returns. Then I look up at the room full of people. “One of yours is being held prisoner, and I know how pissed off that makes you.” I throw my thumb over my shoulder. “Imagine if it was your best friend. And for God’s sake, give him some privacy!”
I don’t know if it’s out of respect for the man refusing treatment until his brother-in-arms is home, or if it’s out of respect for Shadows, but there is no fight as the room immediately empties.
I look at him, at his eyes full of pain and anger as he takes my phone.
“I’m struggling here, Doc. Don’t you let me fall asleep until I know what plan is in place.” He points to the phone and tells me, “Call Irons.”
When he lies back, I dial the secure line.
“He saw?” Irons answers.
“We did,” I say as Tanner pulls me back.
“Put the phone between us, and you listen carefully in case I pass out.”
“Did you hear him?” I ask Jaxson.
I put the phone between us and Tanner sighs out, “Let’s hear it.”
“Six hours ago, we received intel that the SEALs can’t get in there—”
“Unacceptable,” he interrupts Jaxson.
“Agreed. Johnny has a team en route. We bought intel, and they will be bringing him here as soon as they get to him. So that means you get your ass back here ASAP. He’s going to want to see you first thing.”
“I wanna see you first and kick your fucking ass for not calling when you found out!”
“Glad to hear you’re still well enough to threaten me, Titan. I accept the ass-whooping as long as you bring it here.”
“I want to remain informed, you fucking hear me?”
“I hear you, but until I see you, your demands will not be kept. Smith will have you out of there within two days. You’ll be here to thank Shadows for getting you out, so get your ass on the road to recovery, and then, when you are well, I expect you to bring it.”
Before Tanner has time to reply, Jaxson asks, “Can he make the trip, Dr. O’Neil?”
“He can, and he will.”
“Good to hear. I will keep you informed, but he doesn’t get shit until he comes to his fucking senses,” Jaxson insists.
“Understood.”
“Good. See you soon.” Jaxson hangs up, and I look at Tanner.
“He’s alive, Doc. I can feel it here. I’ve always felt it here.” He clutches the gown covering his chest.
When his eyes mist over, I lean in and hug him. He buries his face in my shoulders, and I feel his body tremble against mine. Then he leans back, pulling my head to his chest as he does, and I feel his lips on my head.
“How are we gonna leave that girl behind, Doc?”
“They have a plan to get her home.”
“There is no fucking home for her. It was destroyed.”
I look at him. “Peterson believes it’s best for her.”
“I couldn’t let her die.”
I sit up and hold his face in my hands. “I won’t let you either.”
“You gonna cut my leg off, Doc?” He shakes his head. “Do you think I’ll have any sort of life after that?”
“I think you’re strong enough to get through anything and stubborn enough to do it better than anyone before you.”
He shakes his head slowly, “I’m not a kid who has just started life. I’m a man who has built a life, and my fucking leg is part of it. I won’t live like that.”
“You don’t get to do that to all the people who love you, Tanner. They need you.”
For moments, we stare at each other, not a word spoken as a million questions and answers, realizations and fears collide.
“You aren’t allowed to fall in love with me either, Doc. I won’t be your project. You cut my leg off, and everything changes.”
A tear falls, and I frown sorrowfully. “I’m not going to fall in love with you, but I am going to save your life, Lieutenant, just like you saved hers.”
“Regardless of the consequences?”
I nod. “Regardless of the consequences.”
He grabs the back of my head, pulls it to his chest, and wraps his arms around me. “Get some sleep.”
* * *
I wake up wrapped around him and feeling rested for the first time in days. When I look up, he’s looking down at me, his eyes hard, angry, and filled with a deeper pain than yesterday.
“Let me get you something.” I slide out of the hospital bed.
“No, I wanna go see her.”
When I look back at him, he looks away. “Don’t you pity me, Dr. O’Neil.”
“It’s not pity. We’re in this together. I care about her, too. And like it or not, I care about you.”
“You can care for me, but the moment you cut my leg off, I don’t want you even looking at me the way you do.”
I open my mouth to tell him not to be so damned conceited, but he holds his hand up. “You whisper my fucking name and wrap around me in your sleep like you belong somewhere you don’t. And you look at me like you are now. So when it goes, so does all that.”
He pulls strength from an unknown reserve, pushes himself up, throws his legs over the side of the bed, grabs the crutches, and makes his way to the bathroom. “When I’m done in here, I’d like to go say goodbye to her. Then you knock me the fuck out, get me the hell out of this hole, and keep drugging me until it’s over.” He turns around. “I’ll give the people who resp
ect, not love me, and myself a year, then I’m done, Dr. O’Neil. I don’t owe you or anyone else anything more than that.”
When the door closes, I allow myself a break down.
Half an hour later, I push him through the halls to the elevator banks, without a word exchanged. Inside the elevator, I’m glad we aren’t alone because I am so angry at him for giving up on himself already that I want to throttle him.
When we enter the little one’s room, we see three women talking to her in her native language. She looks scared.
“What the hell is going on?” he asks.
“Titan. American. Laurie. Help.”
Peterson, who I now just realized must never leave here, walks around to the side of the bed, sits next to her, and holds her hand. It seems to comfort her a little bit.
I push Tanner closer to her, and she quickly scampers across the bed and lunges toward … me. I catch her in my arms, and she hugs me.
“Titan, ouch?” she whispers in my ear.
“Yes, Titan ouch.”
She leans back and grabs my face in her hand as she looks at me sternly. “Laurie. Cool?”
A tear immediately rolls down my face as I nod. “I’ll make it cool.”
I sit her on his lap, and she rubs her arm then his leg. “Ouch?”
He gives one nod. “Laurie cool.” He nods again, and she hugs him.
As a tear rolls down his face, he looks at me almost pleading and mouths, “Now.”
I give him his medication while he holds her.
Hugging her, I hear him hum an all too familiar tune, “Edelweiss.” As she continues to hug him, the song slows, and then he falls asleep.
I pick her up, and she cries into my neck. “Help Titan.”
I nod. “I will.”
“Help me.” At her words, I lean back to look at her precious little face. She smiles at me through falling tears and whispers, “Thank you.” I wipe them away as I sit on the side of her bed and hold her.
There are moments that change your life forever. The day I heard my parents fight, the day I met Will, the day I lost him, the day I held Calee for the first time, and the night with Tanner—all are on that list. And this moment, right now, is one of them. One that has irrevocably changed me.
“Khaledes,” she whispers a word I don’t know, and then she whispers it again before lifting her head off my shoulder and looking at me.
I watch this tiny, little, beautiful girl sit straight upon my lap as she looks over at Titan sleeping in the wheelchair. A silent sob makes her body shake before she turns to me. “Laurie, help Titan.”
I fight every emotion caused by what I know has to happen and nod. Then she slides off my lap and onto the bed. She touches my back and gently pushes me, telling me it’s time for me to leave, telling me it’s okay.
12
Home
Laurie
Walking beside Tanner Titan, whose eyes have only opened a few times the entire trip, on the stretcher, into my hospital, I feel a sense of accomplishment I have never felt in my entire career. I wonder if this is what it feels like when a soldier brings its wounded home after battle. If it is, I no longer question why these men and women put their lives in danger for a country that has no clue how blessed it is to be securely swaddled like blissfully unenlightened little babies who feel so entitled to everything that we, one of the wealthiest nations compared to most, have to offer. When given so much, how could they know how truly fortunate they are otherwise? They don’t know the cost to keep them that way. They judge and expect and take without giving.
The men and women of our Armed Forces put their lives on the line for little pay and far less accolades than they deserve. If we want to cry inequality, we should do it for them. They deserve so, so much more than they get.
“Laurie?” I look away from Tanner to a familiar face. Francesca.
She runs to me and hugs me.
“Please, not now. I’m barely holding it together, Frankie.”
“I understand.” She nods and steps back.
I look around at the staff that I have worked with for years. “Get Lieutenant Titan into a private room. While he’s asleep, draw enough blood to run labs on everything you can think of and then more. I want him hooked up to monitors and an IV, stat!”
They all move quickly and efficiently.
“Shadows is on his way. Commander Smith pulled some strings after he found out our guys went in to get him out. I know you’re probably dying to get home to Calee, but can you—”
“Is she still at the cabin with Lily, William, and Rosa?” I ask as we walk behind the moving stretcher.
“No. They’re at the beach house. Two men are with them.”
From what I have gathered, Jaxson, Shadows, and Titan have a small group of ex-military friends, each with their own specialty, some Navy, and the others Marines. They trust them with their lives, so I know it should bring me comfort as well. Being that Calee and I aren’t involved as deeply as the rest in this band of brothers, I haven’t had to worry about it.
I look over at Jaxson. “I need a favor.”
“Of course.”
I reach into my pocket and pull out the folded paper that Peterson had secretly left last night and hand it to him. “Inside is the name of the orphanage and hospital they are taking the Syrian girl, and some of her hair. I trust the nurse left this for me for a reason. It could be as simple as she wanted me to be able to keep in touch, but then, why the hair?”
“We’ll look into it.”
“I don’t want her to get in any kind of trouble. I know she cares about her.”
“Do we have a name yet?” he asks as we round a corner.
“Peterson said she mumbled the name Laylee in her sleep. And before we left, she whispered something to me. Khaledes.”
Jax’s face hardens, and Frankie asks, “The terrorist? The man who blew—”
“Not here, angel,” Jaxson cuts her off then looks at me. “Not here.”
“I want to know—”
“We will find out. Until then, this stays here.”
“Just tell me one thing. Is Frankie right?”
He slightly nods as we come to the radiology entrance.
“I’m going in with him. You can wait here or I’ll message you when we’re done.”
“We’ll be here.”
“You’re still healing; you need to rest,” I remind him.
* * *
It’s late when Tanner finally opens his steel-blue eyes and locks them onto mine.
I notice the blanket move. “It’s still there. But not for long, Lieutenant.”
“How long have I been out?” he asks, sitting up with much more ease than before.
“Almost twenty hours.”
“Jesus,” he says, looking around the room and scanning the machines he’s hooked up to.
“I know you may think you feel better, but I want you to know the antibiotics running through the IV, along with the fact that you were severely dehydrated because you are a stubborn ass man, caused more discomfort than you should have suffered.”
He nods. “How’d you let that happen, Dr. O’Neil?”
I roll my eyes. “I was trying to keep some semblance of peace.”
“Is he here?”
I smile and nod. “He is.”
“When can I see him?”
“When he wakes up from surgery. He has a long road ahead of him, but he’ll be fine.”
“You operate on him?”
“I was on the team, yes.”
“Thank you.”
“Lieutenant Shadows has a dislocated shoulder, tears in many of his tendons, and his larynx is fractured. It’s a class A injury, and he’s very lucky. He’ll heal fast if he doesn’t try to talk.”
He looks like the weight of the world is lifted off his shoulders, and he laughs. “You know Shadows, right?”
“As well as I know you, I suppose.”
He narrows his eyes.
“Not like t
hat.” I feel my face heat with embarrassment but push it away and continue, “He has a bacterial infection, as do you. I have ruled out it being a shared STI—”
“Wait. What?”
“Well, it isn’t like you two haven’t—”
“It’s been awhile, and I’m clean.”
I ignore him and continue, “Aside from the injuries you sustained and the open wounds, I think you both may have been in contact with something in Syria. Yours is worse due to the size of the wound you sustained. It’s allowed it to spread quicker.”
The door opens and Jaxson walks in. “Christ, it’s good to see you.”
“You, too, Irons, you, too.”
I stand so Jaxson can sit. “I’m going to contact Smith and ask him to watch the other men and ask that the others on the mission are tested for the same bacteria.”
Titan nods.
“If it’s bacterial, won’t heavy doses of antibiotics kill it?” Irons asks.
“In most cases, yes. In Tanner’s, the damage is done. As of right now, my suggestion is a below the knee amputation. The longer we wait, the more likely it will spread farther.”
“I want to see Shadows, and then I will give you my final decision.”
“Decision?” Jaxson shakes his head. “There is only one.”
Titan looks at him. “No, there’s not.”
I look away from him, too exhausted to fight. “Did William and Rosa take Calee home?”
Jax looks at me and nods.
“I’ll be back tomorrow.”
As I’m walking out the door, I hear Tanner call my name, but I keep walking.
* * *
It’s two in the morning when I pull into my driveway. I see a dark sedan across the road.
After parking in my garage, I walk inside and see William and Rosa on the couch, and Calee’s legs are across William’s legs and her head is on Rosa’s lap. Her eyes flutter open as if she can just sense I’m here.
I feel the tears begin to trickle down my face as she sits up, waking William and Rosa. Then she slides off the couch and meets me in the middle of the room.
