by Ford, Mia
“Nora wouldn’t have seen that in Trent. She’s too kind-hearted for that. She just saw it as a cousin moving on.” Hmm, I suppose that makes sense. “She wasn’t as clued up to the world as me.”
I nod slowly, drinking this in. “It doesn’t seem like Lexi. I can’t imagine her in that situation.”
“No, none of us could, but that’s where she’s been.”
“Do you think she knew about it?”
“I think she pushed it down, that she was so involved with this guy that she didn’t want to see it.”
“You don’t think she was involved?”
“No, I don’t think Lexi would do anything bad.”
We pause by the machine, drinking for a while, both of us lost in our own individual thoughts. I try and envision Lexi with a motorcycle gang, ignoring all the crimes they commit. Obviously, it’s a world that I know nothing about, but I’m not naïve. I know what sort of things happen. I guess I don’t know Lexi at all!
“So, what do you think about Trent? You think he would be here?”
“I don’t know. I doubt it, but also, I wouldn’t put anything past him.”
“Do you think we should call the cops? Get them back here?”
“Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe we should leave it a bit and give Lexi a bit of time to recover. She might realize that it was just a nightmare after all.”
“But she was poisoned, wasn’t she?”
“I’m not one hundred percent sure that they’ve confirmed that. We should just wait. We don’t want to do anything rash and make her seem not credible. Obviously, I’ll get some time alone with her today and I’ll speak to her. Then I’ll let you know what I think. If this is Trent, we need to make sure we do it right to take him down. The sooner he’s out of her life for good the better.”
“Okay, good.” I’m relieved to have the decision taken out of my hands. I didn’t have enough information to make an informed decision. “I think that’s for the best.”
“Do you need to get to work? I don’t want to make you late.”
“I do, but I don’t mind to stay if you need me.”
“I will give you constant updates. I’ll be able to get more time alone if you aren’t here.”
I wonder what this means, if the rest of the family are now starting to suspect something between us. Whatever it is I need to respect what Cassie wants. She’s the one keeping me in the loop, I need her.
“Right, sure okay. Well, I will speak to you soon then.”
“Bye, Cooper.”
24
Lexi
“I’m being discharged.” I stare at the doctor all wide-eyed and shocked. “Already? That seems quick.”
“We will still need you to come in for outpatient appointments to keep an eye on you, but since all your vitals are okay and the tests are now negative for everything that we need to worry about, you can go home.”
“But… I’ve only been here for three days. Are you sure you don’t want to keep me in longer?”
As soon as I leave here, I’m at Trent’s mercy. I’ve tried talking to everyone about him coming to see me in the hospital, but no one has shown me any signs that they believe me, which leaves me completely alone in all of this. Once I leave the safety of these walls I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, and it’s scary.
“There isn’t any reason to. Of course, if you start to feel ill at all, I would recommend that you come back, but for now there isn’t anything else we can do. You will be fine at home.”
I shuffle uncomfortably in the bed, hating the nerves that zigzag everywhere. I rack my brain desperately, trying to think of something to say to delay the inevitable, but there’s nothing. I know I’m going to have to face it anyway. One way or another, Trent will come for me. What difference does it make when?
Even if it makes my heart sink. Even if it makes me want to curl up into a ball and weep. “Oh right, okay.”
“We will send you home with everything you need to take care of yourself. I know it can be a little daunting when you’ve been through something traumatic, but you will be fine.”
“Thank you.” I nod slowly. “Yes, okay. I will be fine.”
“Do you have anyone that you want me to call to take you home?”
I start to nod but I rapidly shut that instinct down. Of course I want someone to take me home but that might be where Trent targets me. He might be waiting outside the building to attack me. Much as that will be scary to face by myself, I don’t want anyone else to get hurt. I decided to be with Trent, this is all on me.
“No, thank you. I will get a cab. I’d rather get back home by myself.”
“Of course, that’s absolutely fine. Some people do prefer the alone time. It can be quite full on being in the hospital. It can take a bit of time to adjust back to normal life. So, what I will do from here is request the discharge papers and then we’ll get you home. I’ll even get a cab organized for you, so I know you’ll be safe.”
I smile weakly, knowing that he doesn’t have any control over my safety no matter what he does. Once he leaves the room, I lie back and let the panic swirl around. This might be the last few moments I spend alive which is horrifying. Either Trent will kill me or he’ll make me go back with him.
I try to imagine myself back in that life, but I know I won’t be able to do it. Everything I ignored before, I won’t be able to anymore. Everything I couldn’t see then, I now have wide eyes to, and it’s obvious that Trent will treat me a million times worse. In his eyes, I wronged him and he’ll want to get revenge.
I guess I’ll have to try and face my death with my dignity.
* * *
I stare out the window at the back of the cab, watching the world go by. This should feel like a moment of freedom, I’m finally out of the hospital after what feels like forever, but really, I’m looking for him. This is more of a prison than inside those walls where I was trapped to a bed.
The closer we get to my home, the worse that sensation becomes. Butterflies flap violently in my stomach, swimming in acid, wanting to be set free. My heart hits my sternum hard, my lungs squeeze tight, my knees knock violently together. I might just ask the cab driver to take me somewhere else.
If only I had the money to do so. I could run away and never look back. Even if he might find me one day, I could have a rest for now. Live in some small cottage by the seaside by myself, soaking up the ocean air, loving the freedom, the quiet… I’ve never craved quiet before, I’ve always enjoyed a loud, fast-paced life, but now it’s all I want in the world. I really do need some time alone, all by myself.
“Okay, here we are.”
I sigh loudly and shake my head. “How much do I owe you?”
“Eighteen dollars.”
I blanch as I hand the money over. If the doctor hadn’t gotten involved I would have caught the bus because it’s a lot cheaper. My rent has soaked up all my wages; I don’t have any savings, which is annoying. Now that I haven’t been to work for a while I’m even more skint which doesn’t help me at all.
“Thank you very much.”
I slide out of the cab and slowly walk towards my home. I already know that Trent knows my address, it’s how he got the chocolates to me. He could be inside right now waiting for me. I don’t know how he’d get inside, but since he got into the hospital without any trouble, I don’t see why this would prove a problem for him.
I have to face it, I remind myself as I look towards my doom. I have to face it head on.
I might be telling myself brave thoughts, but I don’t feel that way. I’m shaking from the base of my skull all the way to my toes. I’m a real fucking mess. But if he wants me, he will take me whatever.
I slide my key into the lock, making a whole racket with my shaking fingers, so when I hear a voice behind me I almost jump out of my skin. A little scream comes flying out of my mouth.
“Hello… oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Oh right, hi.” It’s my elderly neighbor who I ba
rely know.
“Are you okay? You’ve been in the hospital, haven’t you?”
“Yes. I have.”
“A man came here.” My spine stiffens. This is where my worst fears are confirmed. “On the day you were taken to hospital. A man in a suit coming to check on you.”
“Oh.” Everything inside of me loosens just a tiny bit. “That’s Cooper.”
“Yes, he seems like a very nice man. Did he come to visit you?”
“Yes, he did.”
“I think he might be the gentleman who sent you all the flowers as well.”
“Flowers?” Now this I know nothing about.
“Inside. I saw someone bringing up lots of nice flowers for you.”
“Oh, right. Where are they?”
“I assume someone in your family brought them in.”
Yep, and the nerves are back once more. “Right, well I better go inside then.”
“Oh, of course. But you know where I am if you need me.”
“Yes.” I’m definitely not going to ask her for help! Does she even know what she’s getting herself in for? At least Trent hasn’t done anything to her. “Thank you.”
I push the door open and step inside, my whole body flip-flopping with fear. I dart my eyes everywhere trying to work out where these flowers might be, but there’s no sign just yet. I step further in, tiptoeing as I go. I move seamlessly from room to room, until I hit the bathroom and that’s where I stop dead.
Oh, there’s flowers alright, but none of them are alive. They are dead and all over the place. This is definitely a sign. If anyone had come here from my family to bring these flowers in they would have set them up on the table like a normal person. No, this is a message from Trent that he’s coming for me.
The walls close in on me, I can feel myself constricting. I gasp desperately, trying my hardest to breathe, but it’s impossible. I tumble to my knees, hitting the cold tiles hard. A part of me thinks that he’s here too, about to jump out on me at any moment. I need to get out of here, I need an escape. If only I had some money…
Money… now that could help me. It won’t be a great long term solution but I could ask Cooper for an advance on my wages. Just enough to get me a hotel for a couple of nights while I try and work out my next move. I still need to talk to the police which I intended to do after a good night of sleep, but there’s no way I’ll get any rest now. Not unless I get the hell out of this house. Maybe Trent is watching me, but that’s a chance I’ll have to take.
Ring, ring… ring, ring…
I rest my head on the floor while I wait for him to answer. It takes a while which is probably because he’s busy at work, trying to catch up on everything he’s missed because of me. Just something else to feel bad about.
“Lexi?” He sounds panicked as he answers. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, erm, I know that you’ve already done so much for me and I hate to ask for more, but can I ask you a favor?”
“Do you need me to come to the hospital? I can come now if you need me.”
“I’ve been sent home actually.”
“Oh, I wish you’d told me, I would have come to pick you up.”
“It’s okay, I got a cab. But I’ve got home and there’s…” All of a sudden, I remember that he doesn’t truly seem to believe me about Trent either. Much as I want to tell him, I don’t think I should. “I don’t feel safe here. This is where the chocolates were delivered and it doesn’t feel right.”
“Okay, I understand that.”
“Great, so what I’m wondering is can I have an advance on my wages? I know I haven’t been there over the past few days but I will be back to work anything off. I just would like somewhere else to stay.”
“You must stay with me.”
“Oh, no I didn’t mean that. I want to pay for a hotel.”
“No, I won’t hear of it. If you’re worried, you should come and stay with me, I’ll take care of you. That way you won’t need to take out an advance on your wages and you won’t get into any financial difficulties.”
That idea is too tempting for words. The last thing I want to do is add to my problems, and I suppose I’d also like to be around someone who can protect me as well, but it doesn’t feel right.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I might be in danger.”
“All the more reason you should come and stay with me.”
“But what about Aubrey?”
“You think I can’t protect the both of you? I can and I insist. I won’t take no for an answer.”
“But…”
“There aren’t any buts. I’m coming to pick you up now. Pack up whatever stuff you need.”
I look around at the flowers, knowing that I don’t really have much of a choice. Not if I don’t want to be dragged back to the life I left behind. I only have to stay for a couple of days anyway. Until I work out where I go from here. Whatever my next move is I need to be really smart about it.
“Okay, thank you, Cooper. I appreciate it.”
I guess facing death with dignity is off the cards, then. At least for now.
25
Cooper
“You want me to read you a bedtime story?” I ask Aubrey with a smile. “The princess one.”
“I want Lexi, too!” Aubrey reaches out and grabs Lexi’s hand. “She’s better.”
“I suppose I should be used to this by now! I keep getting left out.”
I don’t mind though, it’s nice to see them getting along so well. It means a lot to me. Aubrey is absolutely in love with Lexi and I really feel like Lexi needs that adoration right now. She’s having a hard time of it. Ever since she came out of the hospital, she’s been a shell of her former self. That’s why I’ve insisted that she doesn’t come back to work until she’s in a much better position. I want to do everything I can to help her. If that means looking after her here until she gets out of this funk then that’s what I’ll do.
The only thing that puts a smile on her face at the moment is Aubrey.
“Come on then, Aubrey, let’s go and get a book for you.”
“Princesses! Let’s read princesses.”
“Of course. I love the princesses book.”
“The one with the frog.”
“Sure, the one with the frog. Whatever you want, lil Aubrey.”
I watch them giggle happily as they head up the stairs, lost in their own little world, I smile. It’s hard for me to be everything to Aubrey, I really am stretched too thin, and while Caroline is a good female influence on Aubrey, Lexi is another, and Aubrey seems to really like her. She’s family too, so that’s great.
I head into the kitchen and pour both me and Lexi a glass of wine, smiling to myself as I do. I’m getting used to her being around, she’s a great addition to this house, she really lights the place up. I don’t really want to think about her going back home, I’m going to really miss her when she isn’t here anymore. I suppose it’s a good thing really that she hasn’t shown any sign of wanting to leave. Not that I like her being afraid.
I sip my wine thoughtfully, wondering if there’s something I need to do. We’ve been avoiding the subject of Trent and her past so far but I think we might actually need to tackle it. I can’t help her until I do. It won’t be easy, I don’t know how I’ll be able to look at her knowing what she’s been a part of. It’ll be challenging to learn about a life of crime. But I suppose the more I imagine it, the worse I come up with. Right now, she’s a gangster’s mole, an active participant in all the terrible things the biker gang did.
It can’t be like that, she can’t be that way. I refuse to believe it. I know her, maybe not every tiny detail, but I know the essence of her. She wouldn’t be a criminal, she couldn’t be.
Plus, I know Nora, and I can’t imagine her having criminal genes in her family. I suppose you never really know anyone and it isn’t like they are exactly the same woman, but still…
“Right, well that’s Aubrey asleep.” Lexi smiles as
she comes down the stairs, but her expression soon falters and she returns back to the deflated version of herself all over again. “She was so sweet tonight.”
“Yeah, she can turn all sweet at bedtime. I’m sure it’s a way to stay up longer.”
“Oh, don’t ruin it for me. She told me that she loves me.”
“Aww, did she?” I clutch my hand to my chest, surprisingly touched. “Well, she doesn’t give that away easy.”
“Good, I’m glad, because I love her too. She’s such a little cutie.” Her eyes fall down, I can tell that she’s about to say something that she’s unsure about. “Nora would be really proud of what you’ve done.”
The air hangs thick and heavy between us. We’ve never really had any sort of conversation about Nora, not really. Not in this calmer environment. It feels really strange but I suppose we should eventually.
“Thank you. I try to keep raising Aubrey the way that she wanted us to.”
“Well, I’m sure she’s up there somewhere, looking down on you proudly.”
“What do you think she would have to say about us?” I didn’t really mean to ask that, it just sort flew out of my mouth at the speed of light. “Sorry, that might be a bit too open and honest.”
“No, it’s fair to ask. We should talk about that, I think, shouldn’t we?”
“Hmm, maybe.” I wish I’d kept my mouth shut. “I don’t think she’d hate it.”
“You don’t?” Lexi looks at me imploringly. “Because that’s what scares me most. I shouldn’t go anywhere near her man, should I? I know we both weren’t aware the first time, but after that…”
“Nora was easy going and carefree. She wanted everyone around her to be happy.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right about that. I remember her the same way too.”
“Exactly. And she loved you.”
“Did she ever talk to you about me?”
I shake my head. “No, not that I remember, but if I’m totally honest with you, I was always too swimming in work to really listen to anything. She might have talked about you all the time.”
