by Pam Howes
Jack wouldn’t allow Granny Lomax on the premises but had no objection to Brian and Cathy going to see her. Alice usually went with them but didn’t stay long. Granny always seemed to want to talk about Jack, about how he was spending her money, and she said she had something else to tell Alice, but Alice had told her that she hadn’t got the time to listen to idle gossip so whatever it was had remained unspoken. Alice didn’t feel it was appropriate to discuss their private life with her. Jack would go mad if she told him. She always left the children there and went home after half an hour. Brian brought Cathy back later for tea.
None of it was quite how Alice had envisaged married life would be, but it seemed to be working. They were all rubbing along together, the flat was lovely and spacious and she’d made it nice and comfortable for them. Jack had instructed a decorator to paint right through in fresh light colours and they’d chosen new carpets and curtains. They’d brought Alice’s furniture from Lucerne Street and bought a few new bits and pieces to go with it. Brian loved his spacious bedroom, which doubled as his study, and to Alice’s surprise, Jack had said Cathy could have a doll’s house for Christmas, while they’d got a bit of spare cash from having a good month in November. It was now in pride of place in her pink and white bedroom.
Cathy had been delighted with the house, but still seemed wary of Jack and kept mainly out of his way, although he did try to win her round and read her the occasional bedtime story while Alice took a long soak in the bath. There was the odd night that Cathy had woken from a nightmare. Fortunately, her screaming hadn’t disturbed Jack’s alcohol-induced slumbers. Alice couldn’t get to the bottom of the nightmares as Cathy couldn’t, or wouldn’t, tell her why she had bad dreams. Occasional bed-wetting was also a problem and Alice did her best to hide the evidence in the laundry basket, doing the washing at night while Jack was down in the bar.
Tonight, the wartime band that Millie had sung with was performing in the concert room and Millie was going to sing with them. Although heavily pregnant now, with her baby due in February, she had insisted she was getting up on stage tonight. Alice couldn’t wait to spend some time with her friends. With Jack not needing her on the bar, she’d be able to have a drink and relax and enjoy herself.
She closed the door to the flat and strolled down the stairs. She could hear the low murmur of voices coming from the kitchen, one of them Jack’s, the other Sheila’s. She couldn’t make out what they were saying, but Jack’s voice sounded low and suggestive and Sheila giggled loudly and said, ‘Ooh, Jack!’
Alice stopped herself from pushing down the handle on the hall side of the kitchen just in time. The door was usually kept locked, as they always used the door from the bar into the kitchen, but had been unlocked over the festive season. A little chill ran down her spine as Alice realised that Jack and Sheila seemed to be even more friendly than she’d first thought. Alice felt consumed with anger; not only was Jack violent on occasion, but he seemed to think it was okay to play away right under her nose. Well, she’d see about that. She gritted her teeth and marched into the concert room. Polly was on her own behind the bar. The girl looked flustered and the queue was long. Seething inside, Alice joined Polly, pulled a few pints and poured a number of gin and tonics, with still no sign of her husband and Sheila.
‘Where’s Sheila?’ she asked when they had a lull, knowing full well where she was, but wanting to see if Polly said anything to confirm her suspicions.
‘Er, she’s helping Jack plate up the buffet,’ Polly replied, pushing a straying blonde curl out of her eyes. ‘Thanks for helping out then, Mrs Dawson. It’s a bit of a mad rush when they all come in at once.’
‘No problem, Polly. But you shouldn’t be on your own on a busy night like tonight. I’ll go and get Sheila out here.’
She steeled herself and barged into the kitchen, where Sheila was looking flushed and gooey-eyed at her husband.
‘Jack, what’s going on?’ she asked him, who was leaning with his back against the wall. ‘It was crazy out there when I just came down and poor Polly was rushed off her feet. Sheila, you need to be on the bar. I’ll help Jack in here.’
Jack nodded and caught Alice by the waist. ‘Of course you will, gel. Sheila, you go and help Polly. Alice will help me now she’s finished prettying herself up.’
Alice frowned when his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes and she moved away from him. Sheila excused herself and waltzed out of the kitchen, high heels clicking on the floor, throwing a last knowing look in Jack’s direction.
As the door closed, Jack grabbed hold of Alice’s arm above the elbow and dug his fingers in. ‘Don’t you ever undermine me in front of my staff again. Do you hear me? I give the orders around here, not you.’
Alice took a deep breath. His eyes were glazed; he stank of whisky already, not to mention cheap perfume that smelled of cat pee, the sort Sheila drowned herself in each night.
‘Now get them plates of sarnies wrapped in greaseproof paper,’ he ordered. ‘Put them on the back table over there when you’ve finished. I’ll go out and help my staff. I’ll see you later.’
Alice rubbed her arm where he’d dug his fingers in. No doubt she’d bruise there now. Good job her dress sleeves were three-quarter length. She wondered if Jack had been kissing Sheila; they’d certainly looked as though a degree of intimacy had passed between them and the barmaid’s usually glossy lipstick had looked a bit faded. Maybe it happened regularly while Alice was up in the flat at night. Maybe they did more than kiss and that’s why he was always tired when he came to bed and only bothered her for sex on the odd occasion. How would she know? She should have felt jealous, after only four months of marriage, but strangely she didn’t. She felt more hurt if anything. Perhaps this marriage was a mistake after all. But, she reminded herself, Brian’s money was in a secure account for his future, they all had a decent roof over their heads, good food on the table after years of rationing and money coming in regularly from the club and her wages. It was a lot to be thankful for and, even if she’d chosen to accept a bit of help from Granny and remain single, the lifestyle they had now was far superior to the one she could have given Brian and Cathy on her own.
* * *
After taking a few minutes to recover from the discovery of her husband and Sheila together, Alice helped herself to a sherry and made a beeline for the table where Freddie and his wife, and Marlene and her husband, were seated, along with Millie and Jimmy, and Sadie and her friend Jenny. After much hugging and kissing, Jimmy introduced a young man who was sitting beside Millie as his older brother Johnny, who had been staying with them for the festive season. He shook Alice warmly by the hand and pulled up a stool next to him.
Alice took a seat and smiled happily around at all her closest friends. At least she had them to support her, even if her marriage wasn’t quite what she’d hoped for. She raised her glass. ‘Cheers, everybody. Here’s to a happy future.’
‘Hear, hear,’ Freddie agreed. ‘How’s it going, chuck? His lordship running this place and married life, I mean? Seems to be making a success of it so far.’
‘Yes, he is. It’s all right, thanks, Freddie,’ she replied. ‘Still early days on both counts and it’s hard work, but you know.’
Freddie nodded. ‘Takes a while to adjust and it’s a big change for you all.’ He frowned, looking over at Jack. ‘He looks a bit worse for wear and it’s not even nine o’clock yet.’
Alice sighed. ‘His foot isn’t too clever at the moment. He’s on new tablets. But a bit of whisky takes the edge off the pain.’ She caught Sadie’s raised eyebrow and shook her head slightly.
‘How did Christmas Eve go?’ Alice hadn’t seen Sadie since Luca’s visit as Sadie had taken the week off as part of her annual holiday.
Sadie shrugged. ‘Okay, I suppose. Luca won Gianni over as I knew he would. Brought him loads of presents from his family, including a model plane that Gianni just loves. He gave me an envelope with a small fortune in it to make up for all the yea
rs he’s missed supporting us. And he asked to speak to me alone, so we went into the back room for ten minutes. He asked me to go back to him as he still loves me.’ Sadie’s eyes filled as she spoke and her voice cracked. ‘But I can’t do that. He won’t give up the fair for us, so that’s that. End of the matter.’
‘Oh, Sadie.’ Alice rubbed her arm gently. ‘You still love him, don’t you?’
Sadie nodded. ‘But not enough to go back to the fair, I’m afraid. I’m going to use some of the money he’s given me to do a course that will give me the qualifications to get a better library position than I’ve been applying for. That way I can give Gianni a secure future. So, in a roundabout sort of way, he’s helping us. He said he’d write when he could.’
Alice nodded and took a sip of sherry. Why was life so flipping complicated for them all?
She grinned as Millie squealed and got slowly to her feet. She pointed to the doors, where Jack was letting in her old band. Millie waddled over to meet them and was met with embrace after embrace. The band members put their instruments down on the stage and accepted the pints Jack was busy pulling for them. Millie came back with a sheaf of song lyrics for the night’s playlist and she and Alice leafed through them.
‘There’s some great new songs in here,’ Millie enthused. ‘Good job I’ve got the wireless at home to practise my singing to. Jimmy said he’s getting us a gramophone this year, so I’ll be able to keep a bit more up to date. Oh, look, “Tennessee Waltz”, I just love it. You can’t even buy that song here yet. And “You Belong to Me”. Oh and, Alice look, two Andrews Sisters songs. You have to get up with me and sing them. “Near You” and “Rum and Coca-Cola”.’
Alice chewed her lip, remembering the last time she’d sung with Millie and Jack’s unreasonable reaction to her performance. He was already annoyed with her, and she didn’t want to rile him further. ‘Er, I’m not sure I can tonight.’
‘Oh, come on, Alice. Course you can. You know you want to,’ Millie cajoled. ‘We’re good together.’
‘Yeah, go on, Alice,’ Johnny said, grinning. ‘I’ve heard all about you and my lovely sister-in-law’s duets. You can’t let me down now I’ve come all the way from Blackpool to see you.’
Alice smiled. Johnny was so like his brother with the ginger hair and warm, friendly eyes.
‘Oh, go on then.’ She knew it would cause trouble later, but at the end of the day, she told herself, Jack wouldn’t be running this place if it wasn’t for her selling her house. It was time she started to have a say in things and she was going to start now by singing with Millie, whether he liked it or not. She thought back to walking into the kitchen on him and Sheila earlier. If he said anything out of place tonight she would insist he sack Sheila. The Legion was her business as well. Another couple of sherries and she’d be feeling a bit braver. New Year, new beginnings, and all that.
* * *
After Alice and Polly had cleared away the buffet plates and cutlery, with not a crumb left on the table, the band tuned up on stage. Alice helped herself to another sherry, aware of Jack’s stare burning into her back.
‘Don’t have too many, gel,’ he said, coming to stand beside her. ‘I want a waltz later with my wife and I’d prefer it if she could at least stand upright.’
‘It’s only my second,’ Alice said. ‘And if we’re counting, how many have you had tonight?’
She saw his jaw tighten and he grabbed her arm; then, seeming to remember they were in view of a club full of people, squeezed it hard as if in warning and let go, half-smiling.
‘Not enough,’ he muttered. ‘Now get from behind this bar while we serve our customers. Some of us have to work tonight.’
‘I did offer—’ Alice began, but he’d already turned his back and started pulling a pint. She took her drink across to Freddie’s table and then made her way to the ladies’. Thankfully it was empty and she leant against the sink and took a deep breath. She rolled up the sleeve of her dress and looked at her arm, where Jack’s fingerprints from earlier were already starting to show. She jumped as the door flew back and Sadie hurried in.
‘Alice,’ she began as Alice quickly pulled her sleeve down. ‘I’ve been observing him all night so you don’t need to hide that from me. Also, you don’t seem yourself. What’s going on?’
Alice blinked rapidly. ‘Nothing. He’s, er, he’s in pain with his foot. He just gets snappy, that’s all.’
Sadie shook her head. ‘He’s not snappy with Sheila and Polly though, is he?’
‘Leave it, Sadie. I can deal with him. I’ll just keep out of his way.’
Sadie raised an eyebrow. ‘I think you’d better. But it shouldn’t be like this. He should be worshipping the ground you walk on, with all that you’ve done for him.’
Alice stared up at the ceiling. ‘He does, when he’s feeling okay. Anyway, come on back to our seats, the band are getting ready to play. It’ll be Millie’s last performance before the baby arrives. Let’s go and cheer her on.’
* * *
Jack smiled proudly as Millie’s beautiful voice soared to the rafters, singing one of the club members’ favourites, ‘White Cliffs of Dover’. It had been a good idea to get the band and Millie in tonight. When she announced that she was going to perform a song that not many would be familiar with yet, Pee Wee King’s ‘Tennessee Waltz’, the cheers and whistling and shouts of ‘Oh yes we are!’ drowned her out. Millie smiled and began to sing the lovely ballad.
As the chorus got underway, Jack came and claimed his wife for a dance. He looked into Alice’s eyes as he waltzed her around the dance floor, along with several other couples who’d got up to join them.
‘Don’t forget whose sweetheart you are tonight, gel,’ he whispered, echoing words from the song, as she drew her head back and looked at him. She nodded and laid her head on his chest. He dropped a kiss on top of her head as he led her to her seat and then limped back behind the bar while the crowd went mad for more from Millie.
Jack saw Millie beckoning for Alice to join her on stage. She wouldn’t dare, would she? He’d told her not to do it again. But Alice shot him a defiant look and got up to stand beside Millie. There was nothing he could do now without showing himself up. The band struck up with an Andrews Sisters song and Alice and Millie began to sing ‘Near You’, Millie carrying the song with Alice harmonising. She looked happy, but wasn’t even looking in his direction. Jack followed her gaze to Millie’s husband Jimmy and a man who looked very like him. Jimmy’s brother? He clenched his fists. She’d better not make a fool of him in front of his friends and customers.
While the bar was quiet as the customers were all entranced with Millie and Alice, he grabbed hold of Sheila’s hand and pulled her into the kitchen, pushing the door shut behind them. He wedged a chair beneath the handle. Millie and Alice usually finished with two or three songs, just enough time for a quickie with Sheila. He pushed her into the pantry and up against the wall, hitching up the skirt of her dress and grinding against her. Sheila never refused him and tonight was no exception as she gave herself freely while the band played on, drowning out her squeals as he manhandled her. She liked it rough and the more excited she got the more Jack obliged. By the time ‘Rum and Coca-Cola’ was coming to an end, so was Jack, and he pushed Sheila away, zipped himself up and limped back to the bar. He was just in time to see Alice and Millie taking a bow and Jimmy, and the man with him, jump to their feet whistling at the girls, who were laughing with their arms around each other.
Jack took a deep breath and helped himself to a double whisky that he knocked back in seconds along with another painkiller for his foot. In spite of feeling euphoric only seconds ago, he was now consumed with anger. How dare Alice make a fool of herself, and him, like that? She had men whistling at her, and now he could see Freddie and all the people at his table giving both girls a hug and a kiss and then Jimmy’s mate, brother, or whoever he was, had pulled Alice into his arms and dropped a kiss on her cheek. He saw Sheila slink out of the kit
chen, her cheeks flushed and her hair mussed up. She smiled at him but he turned away, keeping his eyes on his wife. Sheila had served her purpose for tonight.
Jack sucked air through his teeth, fighting down his anger as he made his way to the stage to thank the band and Millie for their fantastic performance. He didn’t mention Alice, and although a few people called out, ‘Don’t forget your wife,’ he pointedly ignored them. It was fifteen minutes to midnight and he announced last orders and to be quick so they could all toast in the New Year. He called for Alice to come and help as the mad rush to refill began. With one minute to go, Jack timed the countdown with everyone joining in. The band played ‘Auld Lang Syne’ and everyone sang along.
As the band packed away and people began leaving, congratulating him and Alice on the best New Year’s Eve party they’d ever been to, he felt proud of his business and his club. Polly and Sheila had collected the glasses in and were busy washing them. Jack told the girls to leave them and go home. He and Alice would finish off. She was busy saying goodbye to Millie, Jimmy and the man they were with. He heard her telling Millie she would call in to see them tomorrow afternoon when she picked up Cathy from Granny Lomax’s.
‘Like hell she will,’ he muttered under his breath. Brian could go and get the brat when he came home. He locked the doors after the band had loaded their van and went to join Alice behind the bar.
* * *
Washing glasses at the sink, Alice shuddered as she felt Jack’s breath on her neck and his hands snaking tightly around her waist. She inclined her head to one side to avoid the stale alcohol smell that made her feel like gagging.
