by Nicole Helm
She had a mother.
And this brother in front of her. She looked up at him, trying to focus on one emotion at a time. “Can you do me one favor?”
“Anything.”
Hilly looked down at Free. “I don’t have a house. I don’t have anyone but Cam. I—”
“I’ll figure out a place for her till you’re settled. Sound good?”
She nodded.
Zach gave Free a pat, but he spoke as he did it. “I hope you understand that he’s sick, Hilly.” There was a depth of grief in his voice Hilly had never really known. “He needs help. Real help.”
She nodded. Clearly Zach still had hope for his—their brother, and she didn’t want to dull any of that hope for him.
Zach got in the car with Free, and the cruiser drove away, leaving Hilly completely and utterly alone in a brand-new world.
Before, it might have scared her, might have rendered her completely paralyzed, but she had done so much in these past few days. Somewhere in this building Cam was possibly fighting for his life and she needed to be there.
She marched in the front doors. There was a big airy lobby, people walking this way and that. There was a directory on the wall, a bunch of different medical words ending in-ology.
Emergency. Cam would be in Emergency.
She started to move toward it, but a commotion behind her had her looking back. Laurel rushed inside, her hair wild, and she wasn’t in her uniform. There was a big, burly bearded man with her.
“Hilly. God.” She crossed to her and grabbed her hands. “How is he? Where is he? What happened? Did—”
“Ease up, princess,” the man murmured. “One question at a time.”
“I just got here,” Hilly managed, incapable of looking away from the wild-looking man with Laurel. “I don’t know anything.”
“All right. Let’s head to Emergency, then,” the man said authoritatively.
Hilly shied away, but her hands were still clutched in Laurel’s. Laurel looked at her, then back at the man with her, before squeezing and releasing Hilly’s hands.
“This is Grady. My fiancée.”
Hilly’s jaw went a little slack. She supposed you couldn’t judge people based on appearances, but Grady looked like he could be some kind of outlaw from the Wild West, while even with her disheveled hair Laurel looked prim and proper.
“See, even strangers can’t believe we’re getting married,” Grady said with a kind smile, and then he was leading them toward Emergency like he knew where to go. They stepped into a waiting area and Laurel marched right up to the woman behind the counter.
“Why don’t you sit?” Grady said, pointing to a chair. “The way I hear it, you’ve been through the wringer.”
The way he heard it. He’d heard things. Hilly felt dizzy, so she sat. Laurel marched back over, looking grim.
“All they can tell me is he’s in surgery. Dad’s trying to get a flight out of Denver, Jen is closing up the store and Dylan’s on his way.” Laurel was all jangling nervousness, as if she’d absorbed all the energy that had leaked out of Hilly.
“What happened? The cops told me some, but... I don’t understand.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” Hilly replied.
Laurel took her hand again, sliding into the chair next to her. “Finding out you aren’t who you thought can’t be easy on top of all this. They told me they’ve arrested your father. Once we find out about Cam, I can take you down to the jail, if you’d like.”
“That’s...so kind.”
“Cam cares for you. That was obvious. So, while he’s getting all stitched up, we’ll take care of each other, okay?”
Hilly wanted to cry. People who wanted not just to take care of her or protect her, but be cared for and protected in return. It was a miracle in the midst of all this confusion and fear.
“Lewis?”
They all looked up at a slim brunette woman with large eyes who’d approached Grady.
“No, I’m sorry. Lewis was my father,” Grady said, brows furrowed. “Lewis Carson. Did you know him?”
“Oh, of course. You’re...too young. It’s just been...” She pressed a hand to her temple, clearly out of sorts and upset. “You’re his son. He has a son.”
“Ma’am, I—”
“My name’s Sarah.”
Grady’s face went slack. “Sarah. Sarah, my dad’s sister who ran away?”
She smiled sadly and nodded. “Yes. That would be me. I can’t believe... God, it’s a day for family reunions and I...” She shook her head, curling her hands into fists. “One thing at a time,” she muttered.
Something was buzzing along Hilly’s skin. Prickly and uncomfortable, and part of her wanted to back away, but she couldn’t stop staring at the woman talking to Grady.
“I so want to catch up, but I’m here looking for...” The woman’s eyes met hers, and there was a brief moment where they both didn’t breathe.
Hilly hadn’t noticed any glaring similarities between herself and Ethan and Zach, but this woman... It was like looking into a slightly warped mirror. Same eyes, nose and mouth. Their hair color was different, but the eyes...
“Hillary,” the woman breathed.
“I...” She didn’t know what to say, and even the “I” came out like a squeak.
“Zach said you’d be here. I... He told me not to come. I shouldn’t have come. I had to come.” She reached out, then snatched her hands back.
Something about seeing this woman so nervous, tears flowing, smoothed all that over in Hilly. She stood without shaking at all and smiled at the woman.
Her mother.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
The woman choked on a sob, so Hilly held open her arms. She knew it would take time to truly work through all this. To figure out how a mother-daughter relationship worked after twenty years of not knowing or thinking the other still lived, but Hilly now figured the best way to start anything was with open arms and an open heart.
The woman hugged her and sobbed into her shoulder. Hilly cried a little, too, but she didn’t fall apart. She felt so...strong. So sure. There were still so many question marks in her life, but now she knew who she was.
Now she could begin.
“I thought you were dead,” the woman sobbed. “I mourned you, grieved you and your father, and here you are.”
She let the woman cry on her shoulder, held her and soothed her. “Here I am,” she whispered.
Slowly the woman pulled herself together, pulled away. “God. What a day. One son’s in jail, my daughter’s back from the dead. My nephew...” She turned to Grady. “I... I can’t...”
“Sit,” Laurel urged, pointing to the seat Hilly had vacated. “Let’s all take a minute to breathe and then talk.”
That was just what they did. Sarah explained how when her father didn’t approve of her marrying a man in law enforcement, she ran away, cutting herself completely off from the family. She talked about Hilly’s biological father’s work with the ATF. Hilly explained a little bit about her growing up, though glossed over some things left for a better time.
None of them talked about Cam, even as Jen and Dylan joined them, as if in tacit agreement, but Hilly’s mind was never far from him.
When a nurse called Laurel’s name, she was allowed to go back. Since Hilly wasn’t family, she had to stay in the waiting room. All the siblings took turns going in, and Hilly looked longingly after each one.
But they assured her he was stable, just not conscious. When Cam’s father arrived and was brought up to speed, he sat on the opposite side of the room as Sarah.
Laurel sighed. “I can’t believe he could think of the feud at a time like this.”
“Feud?” Hilly asked.
“Carsons and Delaneys,” Sarah replied, holding her hand. She smiled fondly at Grady
. “So, Bent hasn’t changed?”
“Not a bit.”
“Except for a Carson and Delaney getting married in a month,” Laurel returned.
Grady grinned. “Oh, right, except for that.” He turned his grin to Hilly, before looking back at Laurel. “Can I be in the room when you tell your brother his woman is a Carson?”
A Carson. Family feuds. Family. It was overwhelming, but somehow as long as Cam was okay, and her father was okay... Hilly figured it’d be amazing.
Chapter Nineteen
Cam was sure his head had been stuffed with cotton, and maybe his blood had been replaced with lava. But he was somehow packed in ice. Needles made of ice.
He was in hell.
He struggled to swim his way out of it. If he could just open his eyes, maybe this would all go away. It seemed as though it took forever before he managed the Herculean feat.
Laurel’s face wavered in his vision. It was a comfort his sister was here. Wherever he was. She wasn’t crying, so he figured that was good, but one never could be sure about these things. “Did I die?”
“Not yet,” she returned. She was trying to sound brave, but her voice was scratchy.
“That’s good, I guess.”
“We’re going to have to stop meeting like this, big brother.”
Hospital. He was in a hospital. Because he’d been shot somewhere along the line. Was that why his leg throbbed worse than the rest of his body? It hurt too much to try to piece it all together. “Mine’s worse,” Cam managed. Laurel had been hurt last year, right when he’d come home to Bent. While he wasn’t big on winning this competition, he hoped it would smooth some of the jagged worry edges off her expression.
“Where’s Hilly?” he asked. Because Hilly didn’t have anywhere to go. He’d left her in that cabin, and where would she be? Who would take care of her?
“She’s here. Dad, Jen, Dylan. Everyone is here waiting for you to wake up. We had to take turns watching you sleep.”
“Someone should take care of her. She’s been through so much. Been braver than anyone has a right to be. She’s got to be exhausted. What time is it? What—She doesn’t have anywhere to go.”
“Shh.” Laurel touched his cheek, a rare affectionate gesture that would normally make him uncomfortable, but right now it felt good to have someone he loved touch him gently. “Hilly’s mother and Zach are both here and watching after her, but we couldn’t tear that woman away with a herd of wild horses. She’s not going until she sees you.”
“Her mother. She met her mother?”
“They seemed to be getting along pretty well. Hilly’s holding up like a champ for all she’s been through.”
“I need to see her.”
“She wants to see you, but they’re saying family only.”
“Laurel.”
Her mouth curved. “I’ll have Grady create a diversion and sneak her back.”
He breathed out, relief coursing through him.
“Carsons come in handy. You might want to keep that in mind,” she said cryptically. Then she sighed. “Ten years in the Marines and no matter how I worried, you never got hurt. You’re home for less than a year and look at all the trouble you’ve gotten yourself into.”
“I guess Bent does that to a person.”
She smiled, as he’d hoped she would, but here in this groggy space of not being totally with it, he felt the emotion of all he’d been through crash through him, breaking down walls he didn’t know he’d erected. “I failed. There. Here.”
She brushed a kiss across his forehead. It comforted him somehow. “You know, I’ve felt that way a time or two in my career, but Grady tends to remind me I did the best I could with what I had. I know you’re probably thinking there are a million different scenarios that would have had a better outcome, but you don’t know that. One thing you know and I know is you gave it your all. You always have. It’s not a failure if we’re doing that. It can’t be.”
Maybe it was all the medication softening his brain, but that soothed his conscience in a lot of ways.
“We’ll get Hilly back in a few. Stay awake.” She patted his shoulder and then left the room.
Cam lay there, mostly because he didn’t have a choice, but Laurel’s words stuck with him. He had always done the best he could. It was hard to know his best was sometimes just not enough, but Hilly was safe. She’d found her father and her family.
He felt like a failure because he hadn’t been the one to tie up all the loose ends, but did it matter when he’d given everything he could to keep her and her father safe? His friendship hadn’t been enough to save Aaron, but he would have done the same for Aaron. He just hadn’t had the chance.
Maybe it was time to stop beating himself up for not having the chance.
The door squeaked open and Hilly slid in. She didn’t hesitate, didn’t seem taken aback by the machines hooked up to him. She walked right over and, with some care to the IV and his injuries, laid her head against his chest.
“Oh, Cam. You’re okay.”
“Okay,” he agreed. Better with her here. He didn’t know how a person could fill up your life in such a short time, but the thought of her not in his about did him in.
Hilly looked up, tears filling her eyes. “Laurel said you’ll need another surgery.”
“I’ll live. Survived the first one, didn’t I?”
A tear slipped out and he reached over with his non-IV arm to brush it away. “You know, you didn’t cry the whole time in that cabin when your brothers were there. You kept it all together while they fought, while I fought.”
“I wanted to be strong for you.” She touched the bandage on his neck, her fingertips like heaven against his skin. He wanted to grab her wrist and hold her hand there forever, but she pulled away before his brain could get the messaging to his limbs.
“I heard you met your mother.”
Hilly nodded. “It’s very strange. But she’s nice. Easy to talk to in a way. She doesn’t expect too much. It’s...”
“Weird?”
“Very weird. But I kind of have to start my life over, so I figure it’d be weird no matter what. My... James and Ethan were both arrested. Zach seemed hopeful that Ethan would get recommended to psychiatric care, and because James hadn’t meant to kill my father, and because he’s actually been a model citizen since, his sentence wouldn’t be too harsh. If he pleads guilty. Laurel said she’d take me to see him, but—”
“You take her up on that, okay? You take any Delaney up on anything they offer. You hear me?” His mouth quirked. “You said that to me. Told me to stay awake. You were very forceful.”
She slid her hand into his and smiled. “Well, I am pretty tough.”
He lifted her hand to his mouth, but couldn’t quite work out the strength to actually brush a kiss over it. “The toughest.”
“Apparently I’m a Carson.”
Cam laughed, though it hurt. “Let me guess. Grady put you up to that. Though I think he’d want to be here to watch my reaction.”
Hilly looked at him so seriously. “No. It’s true. My mother is Grady’s aunt—I guess she ran away from Bent and the Carsons to marry my father. She recognized him right away. I can see why. It’s hard to believe I’m related to someone that...whatever he is.”
The cottony feeling in his head returned, but with an extra dose of a buzzing sound. She was serious. She was a... Carson. A Carson. The family he’d spent his whole life looking down his nose at, and maybe that had eased some since he’d been back and Grady and his cousins had proved indispensable in saving Laurel from her kidnapping last year, but... A Carson.
“He wanted to be here when you were told,” Hilly said, her eyebrows furrowed together. “I guess I understand why.”
“I... You’re...” Surely he was hallucinating.
She cocked her head. “Do my b
lood relations change the way you feel about me, Cam? You told me you loved me.”
“Did I?” he muttered, shifting uncomfortably in bed. Not because of the Carson thing, but because he’d said a lot of things after he’d been shot that he wouldn’t have said in his right mind. He would have waited. He would have...set the stage. Not confessed his feelings when he’d been not totally convinced he was going to live.
It didn’t change the feelings. They were there, but no matter how strong she was, how amazing she was, she had a new life to build. A million things to figure out. She didn’t need him muddying things up while she was trying to figure out a brand-new family, and to reconcile what James had done with the man who’d taken care of her as a father for twenty years.
“Must have been the gunshot wound,” he offered, trying to ease away from the conversation. Giving her an out, some space, but she only frowned at him.
He swallowed, nerves battling it out with the desperate need to just... She was everything he wanted. He’d been around enough to know she was different and special. That love didn’t knock you sideways out of the blue with just anyone. “That was a joke.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, so serious, so...
Hell. “I do love you, Hilly. There’s a rational part of my brain that says it’s too much too soon, but it doesn’t erase the feeling. You have so much ahead of you. A new life. You have more important things—”
“More important things? You are an important thing. You’re at the center of this new life because it’s here because of you. You gave me protection, Cam, but you also gave me choices. I know there’s a lot out there I don’t know, but...” She looked at their linked hands, working through it all. Always so determined to do just that.
“My mother,” she said carefully, “and my brother love me. They don’t know me, but I’m theirs, so, they love me. I feel it. I don’t know how to love them back yet, but I’ll learn. Why would I run away from the learning?”
“You wouldn’t,” Cam said. “You’re too brave.”
Her mouth curved. “Then I’m brave enough to handle that, and figure out what my future holds, and know that I want you in it. I don’t need to understand the world to understand that, to understand you.”
