I've lost track of time when I come to. I slowly sit up and shake my head. I stand up still groggy and buzzed. Thinking whatever happened must have been a dream. There is no one around me as I make my way back to the pits.
The lights hit my eyes, blinding me for a few seconds, when I see Izzy standing there. A look of torture passes across her face when she takes in my appearance. My clothes are disheveled, and my hair is messy.
“Are you fucking kidding me." She’s horrified, tears are rolling down her cheeks.
I try to stop her, but I can't get the words out. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth, like sandpaper. She looks behind me, her eyes widen with horror. I can't move, I'm frozen to my spot to see what has her crying. She runs off and I finally snap out of it, but she is gone before I can catch her. My heart sinks with the realization that she’s gone.
Chapter 29
Xavier-Present time
My heart’s slamming hard against my chest and my hands are shaking. I swallow back the bile trying to work its way up, when I finish telling my story. Izzy’s sobbing against me. She’s trying to sooth me at the same time. I’m holding onto her tight, tears rolling down my cheeks, but I don't wipe them away. Mia’s crying and Nolan’s eyes are misted over. I clear my throat trying to get my bearings.
“I’m so sorry Xavier. You don't know how sorry I am.” Izzy whispers. She wipes away her tears.
“It’s not your fault Izzy. It’s not mine, it’s not yours, it’s not anyone but the psycho bitch’s fault. We will get through this.” I not only try to reassure her, but myself too. I kiss her gently on the lips and pull her me to her. Izzy deepens the kiss, then pulls away. Shame crosses her face.
“What do we do?" She asks.
“I’m going to pay Calabrese a visit. He is going down along with that psycho daughter of his. He promised me he would keep her away in exchange for keeping my information to myself.” Nolan hisses out.
“Not without back up and it’s got to wait until after tomorrow night. I have to work security at the race and I want in on this too.” Christian says resting his hand on Nolan’s shoulder. Nolan reluctantly nods his head.
I look down at Izzy curled around me. She’s holding me tight around the waist not letting go. There’s bags under her eyes and stress lines on her forehead. She looks dead on her feet.
“Do you want to go to bed?" I ask her.
“Yeah, my adrenaline is wearing off and we have a big race coming up. We have a lot we need to talk about in private." I look at Izzy in surprise.
“You still want to race, even though we were attacked tonight?”
“I’m not letting that crazy bitch get in the way of this race. If she wants to come at me, then she can bring it. I’m not afraid of her or anyone for that matter.” Izzy says. She has a cold hard look in her beautiful green eyes. It makes my heart skip a beat. She’s never been vengeful or spiteful and I hope she doesn’t take it too far.
“You crashing here?" I ask Nolan.
Mia speaks up first. “We all are."
“You can figure out what rooms you all want. I’m taking Izzy to bed.” I tell them.
I stand up and pull Izzy with me. I lead her down the hallway from the living room and walk up the stairs going to my room. Izzy’s looking at the pictures on the walls as we make our way to my room. Most of them are of the two of us growing up and the two blissful weeks we were together. Some of them are of our parents together, before her mom died. She stops at the last one with the six of us together. We were about eight years old.
“I love this picture of all of us.” Izzy says, running her hand down her mom’s face. “I really miss her." Sadness is around us as we stare at the photo. Her mom has beautiful, long blond hair, piercing hazel eyes and she always wore a smile that lite up her face, no matter how sick, tired, or sad she was.
“I know, me too. You remind me so much of her. From the stories Austin would tell me after you left, I felt the heartache he felt at losing her and then you leave. It tore him up and I was responsible for it.” I tell her quietly.
Izzy turns in my arms, so we’re face to face. She’s standing on a step above me and were eye level with each other.
“No X, you weren’t responsible for my leaving, I was. It’s my fault I broke his heart and yours too. Now we need to get this bitch and figure out who that man is. We need to stop him before he hurts anyone else.” Izzy says running a hand down my face gently.
Her soft fingers gently caress my cheek and power’s strumming through my veins to know even after everything that’s happened tonight, everything this woman standing in front of me heard, she’s still here by my side. I can take on the world and make anyone who tries to get in between us pay.
I stare into Izzy’s green eyes and I’m lost. I’m lost to the sensations of her body against mine. I’m lost to the feel of her heart beating against her chest. I’m lost to the love she’s given me, and I want to stay lost for the rest of my life. I will love this woman with everything I have and I’m not letting anyone get in our way, ever again.
Chapter 30
Izzy
Looking at the pictures Xavier has hanging up on his walls, leading up to his room, hurts my heart. I wish my mom were still here to guide me, make me feel reassured I’m doing the right thing, the best thing to help Xavier.
He’s been through so much the last five years and he still loves me. It makes me happy and sad at the same time. Sad because we wasted so many years being apart because I believed one lie, one person who I didn’t even know. Marie told me that lie with such conviction, I really did believe her. Xavier would make a great dad and I didn’t want to rip apart a family. I didn’t want to be the other woman.
It makes me happy because after all these years he still loves me, will do anything for me and he proved that tonight. He chased away a psycho beating on his car and he took in a lot of information that Nolan dropped on us.
He faced his past he kept locked away and he’s still here with me. He didn’t run off like most people would or take the uncomplicated way out. My heart breaks for the trauma he went through with that psycho bitch, and I’m going to do what I can to help erase that memory from his mind.
After standing on the steps for a few moments looking at each other, seeing into each other’s souls, we make our way into his bedroom, hand in hand. This time I actually take the time to look around, instead of ripping his clothes off.
Xavier has a king size bed in the middle of the room against one wall, next to the window overlooking the backyard. His dresser is in front of his bed with a television sitting on top.
The walls are painted a light blue and they’re bare, typical guy for you. He has a walk-in closet to the left of the dresser and the door leading to the hallway to the right. Inside the walk-in closet, is another door that leads into his attached bathroom.
I make my way into his bathroom through the closet. The bathroom has black and white marble floors with a matching counter top and sink with a big mirror above it. The toilet is behind a divider next to the sink. There’s a window between the toilet and a set of cupboards that holds his towels.
There’s a big stand up shower with double shower heads on the opposite side of the sink. The tiles inside of the shower are all black. His counter tops are free of clutter and I suddenly feel the urge to take a shower and try to wash away all the misery coating my skin.
I use the bathroom and start the shower. I undress and step inside of the steam. My mind racing with all the information I’ve heard today and I’m hoping the shower helps relieve my tense muscles.
I wet my hair down under the spray and turn to grab the shampoo bottle. I lather up my hair, my front turned into the water, when I feel a warm body press against my back.
“I couldn’t wait any longer, I have to be with you, B.” Xavier says in my ear.
The smell of leather and racing fuel invades my nose as his hands start roaming over my body. I lean my head back against his chest and
let out a soft moan when his hands caress my breasts, the water coating our bodies.
Xavier leans down and kisses my neck sending chills down my spine. He turns me around and my breath catches. His piercing blue eyes are dark with want radiating from them.
“I need you too.” I tell him.
I have a need to forget everything just for a little while. Xavier tips my head back into the water and rinses the shampoo out of my hair. When all the shampoo is out he leans down and sucks the water off my breasts causing my nipples to harden and desire pools from between my legs.
I grab onto his black hair roughly, pulling him closer to me, and he lets out a moan. The closeness I feel when we are together like this, makes my heart skip a beat and when his eyes meet mine, he’s looking right into my soul.
His hard cock brushes against my stomach sending heat to my core. He’s biting and sucking at my breasts, driving me crazy with need. I pull his mouth away and bring it to mine. I kiss him hard, our tongues battling for dominance, teeth scraping.
Xavier breaks the kiss and grabs my ass pulling me right up against his cock. Our bodies are slick with water when he growls in my ear. Giving his hips a thrust against me he grunts in my ear.
“Turn around and put your hands flat on the wall." I do as he says and turn around.
I spread my fingers against the cool black tiles and his hard body is against my back, his lips trailing kisses down my spine.
“Spread your legs.” he demands. His dominating voice sending heat to my core and I do as he says. This side of Xavier is really turning me on. I close my eyes at the sensations running through my body. He runs his fingers down my back and ass, towards my opening. His tongue and teeth follow his fingers. The heat from his body disappears from behind me and I open my eyes.
I look down between my legs and see his face, his blue eyes are hooded, watching me, as he licks my clit. My body is on fire from his touch. His black hair plastered on his head from the water.
Xavier lets out a satisfied groan as his lips and tongue suck and bite my clit down to my opening. Closing my eyes from his tongue on me, I throw my head back and open my legs wider.
“Holy fuck.” I pant.
He growls low in his throat, causing a vibration against my clit as he brings two fingers to my opening. He thrusts in hard with his fingers as his mouth laps up my juices. His tongue replaces his fingers thrusting in and out of my pussy. I move my hips with his rhythm, fucking his mouth and fingers, his thumb rubbing my clit hard.
“Oh shit, I’m going to come.” I groan.
My heartbeat picks up in my chest as tingles start low in my stomach. Xavier keeps up his pace, licking and sucking between my clit and opening until I explode around him, screaming his name in passion. My body jerks as he slows his assault on my clit.
He makes his way up my body, kissing and licking every inch until he reaches my face, his back against the wall. I kiss him with so much passion, I don’t know where I start and he ends, tasting myself on his lips.
Xavier lifts my right leg and angles it around his waist, opening myself to him. I reach down between us and grab ahold of his cock. The width of it huge in my small hand and I give it a pull. He closes his eyes, throws his head back against the tiles and lets out a groan.
“Fuck me, B. Keep that up and I’ll be coming in your hand, not inside of you.” Xavier growls. His dirty words turn me on and I guide his cock to my entrance. I push myself onto him and we both groan at the sensation of him filling me up.
Xavier begins thrusting his hips back and forth pushing himself deeper into me, then pulling back out. His hands are on my breasts squeezing them, his lips are sucking at my neck gently. He thrust’s his hips a few more times, bringing me right to the edge, before pulling out. I let out a whimper and he kisses me hard, making my head dizzy.
Turning us around, Xavier bends me over putting my hands on the shower wall as he brings his body against my back.
“Keep your hands on the wall.” he demands.
He guides his hard cock back into me from behind and lets out a groan. He pauses for a second, letting my body adjust to this position and I push back onto him.
“Holy shit.” I groan, pressing my heated face against the cool tiles.
Xavier’s deeper than he’s ever been and I love it. His chest is against my back. The water is beating down on us, his one hand plays with my clit, his other hand caressing my breast, making my nipples harden and desire shoot through my core.
He moves his hips back and forth driving his cock deeper and harder into me as I push my hands against the black tile to keep from hitting my head. His swollen shaft is all the way in and I move with him slamming my ass against his groin. He lets out a deep growl against my spine. I shiver as his teeth scrape down my back. The water cascading down us, makes our bodies slick.
“Oh fuck.” I mumble, as another orgasm starts building, starting in my toes.
Xavier starts thrusting harder and faster into me, our bodies slapping together. Grunts and moans fill the air, along with the smell of sex and it’s putting my senses on overload. He kisses my back when I feel him tense inside of me.
“Fuck B, let it go.” He growls into my ear, licking his way down my neck.
Deep tingles start in my lower stomach. My body suddenly explodes with another orgasm and I see stars as he tightens his hands on my hips, digging his fingers in.
“Xavier.” I groan out.
His cock swells up as he surges in and out faster and harder. His fingers digging into my hips, chasing his own orgasm. I whimper at the sensations running through my body as he explodes inside of me and slows his pace, our breathing erratic. He kisses his way up my back, creating shivers down my spine. Breathing hard, Xavier pulls out and turns me around. He kisses me gently and desire starts to build again.
He holds me to him when my legs wobble, like they're going to give out. Xavier turns the water off and steps out of the shower, still holding onto me. He wraps a towel around my body and leads me into his bedroom. I lay down onto his bed still wet from our shower. I should dry off and brush my hair, but I have no energy now. Xavier lays down next to me and wraps his body around mine.
I take Xavier’s hand and bring it across my stomach running my fingers up and down his arm. I turn so we’re facing each other and I take in his features. From his jet-black hair, piercing blue eyes, and strong jawline, I know I’m one lucky woman. I cup my hand on his cheek, he’s watching me, watch him.
“I’m proud of you, ya know.” I tell him. He raises his eyebrows, a look of surprise crosses his face.
“What for?" He asks.
“When life’s fucked up, a lot of people just give up or run away. You stayed and made your life better, quit drinking, quit screwing around and focused on your career and that makes me proud of you. You didn’t stop when something tried knocking you down.” I tell him. He hits me with a smile, his dimple making an appearance. His blue eyes are bright, and it takes my breath away.
“I’m proud of you too.” Xavier says. I raise an eyebrow.
“Why?" I ask. “I ran away when things got tough. I lost you over something stupid and spent five miserable years apart from you." Xavier leans in so our lips are just a breath apart.
“I’m proud of you for finishing your schooling, keeping in contact with Austin and Mia and being there for them.” I close the little distance between us and kiss him gently.
“I have a confession to make.” Xavier says after breaking our kiss.
“What?”
“I went to L.A. about three months after you left.” he confesses. My eyes grow wide and my eyebrows hit my hairline.
“What?" I’m surprised and hurt. Why didn’t he approach me? Xavier nods his head and moves a piece of my blonde hair from my face.
“Yeah. I was with Austin in my garage one day when you were talking to him. I couldn’t hear what he was saying to you because he walked outside when you called. He looked so sad when he hung up. That ni
ght I packed a bag and got onto the next flight. I wanted to fix this and bring you home. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going. I arrive in L.A. and found you sitting on the beach all alone, watching the sun set into the ocean. You looked so lost. I wanted to wrap you up in my arms and bring you home. Then a girl with blonde hair approached you and you left with her. I was rooted to the spot and couldn’t move. I watched you walk away and told myself you were better off there then here with me. I caused you enough heart ache, I didn’t want to make it worse for you. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, watching you walk away, but I thought you were better off." Xavier closes his eyes remembering that day. “You were the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. The way the California sun glistened off your skin as it set into the night, the way your blonde hair moved with the breeze. It mesmerized me, and I was frozen, I couldn’t move."
I wrap my arms around his neck. “I remember that night. I was out longer than I normally would be so Ashley, my roommate, came looking for me. My dad and I were talking about you. He wanted me to at least talk to you, confront you on what happened. I missed you so badly, but I couldn’t bring myself to call you. I thought you were done with me when all that time passed, and I didn’t hear from you. I was trying to mend a broken heart and being home sick. That first year out there was the hardest for me. I had nightmares every single night of the last time I saw you. I gave you my heart and we connected in a way I was never able to connect with anyone. I’ve loved you since I was a little girl and you first moved here, then that love grew over time. I was miserable out there and every day I’d wake up and just go through the motions. I wish you did talk to me, I probably would have come home sooner. I would have listened to you.” I confess.
Xavier pulls me closer to him, my head resting on his chest. I can hear his heart beating in his chest at a rapid pace. His hands are caressing my back causing me to shiver.
Racing Dirty Page 18
