“Why did you do this to me Ana? Why did you leave me?”
Oh my god, Tony. I thought he was dead. Why is this happening? He’s going to finish off the job. He’s going to kill me. Suddenly this figure comes towards me into the light and I realise it’s not Tony, it's Alan. I wake clawing at my sheets, alarms are going off and two nurses are beside me trying to hold me down.
“Ana, please darling its ok. You’re in the hospital. You’re safe. You’re ok; it was just a bad dream.”
I hear another frantic voice, “Give her 10mg of Benzodiazepine.”
I’m straining against the voices and I try to scream Jake’s name. I feel a jab in my leg and very soon after, I drift off into a very deep sleep.
I can’t remember much after that. I woke up to the bright light beaming through the window and the high octane’s of a very pissed off caveman.
“Why didn’t anyone call me? I knew I shouldn’t have left.”
Jake comes charging through the door with two terrified nurses behind him, unsure of what to say and do with him. He seems to have that effect on everyone. I have to smile inside. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Ana are you ok? I’ve just been told you had a nightmare during the night, that your heart rate shot through the roof and they didn’t call me. I told them to call and I’m pissed that they didn’t.”
He said that a little too loudly and the timid nurses retreated out of the door. I noticed that he had shaven, but he still looked like he hadn’t slept much. “Jake, please calm down. It’s ok, look, it’s unfair to talk to the nurses like that. All they have done is take care of me and you come in here like the bull that you are, charging at anyone and everything.” His face softened as he touched my hand. My voice was still a little hoarse but speaking was a lot easier than yesterday.
“I’m sorry; I just lose all my senses when it comes to you. You still drive me crazy, you know that?”
I smirk and touch his face. “I know, I can see that, but at the same time I don’t think it should be me you are apologising to.” He nods his head agreeing to my statement and sighs.
“Anyway how are you feeling this morning? You look a lot better. They said they had to give you something during the night to calm you down?”
“Yes, I think I was being a bit vocal. I just had a nightmare that Tony was in my room and I thought it was real for a minute. It’s all a bit confusing I guess. I must have scared the life out of the poor nurses. Anyway, I feel a bit groggy but otherwise fine. Can you just pour me some water?” I gesture to the jug on the bedside.
“Anything for you babes. I feel a bit hopeless just sitting around here doing nothing.” He gets up dutifully and pours some water in a plastic cup.
I take little sips conscious of how sore my throat still is. The nurses then brought me in some porridge to see if I could eat. Betty told me that if I didn’t eat a little, the doctor will want to keep me in another night. There was no way I wanted that, so I had to force it down my throat, even though it was agony to do so.
I got myself a quick wash in the bathroom noticing my ankle was also a lot better. I was actually able to walk on it a bit more normally now. I didn’t really want to look at myself in the mirror and see the constant reminder of what Tony had done to me. Luckily Jake had brought in some new clothes and a hairbrush, so I was at least able to brush my hair. I was grateful for that. I sat back on the bed and we waited for the doctor to do his rounds so I could be discharged. I was ready to go home now. I wanted to get away from this place and never to return. Whilst we waited, I asked about how everyone was doing and where Matthew was. Jake told me that Matthew was staying with Clive, and that they had argued when he wanted to come down and stay with me whilst I recovered. He knew that Jake wouldn’t have been much company, so he made the excuse that he had to stay in school. He wasn’t happy about it but what Jake said went. You can’t argue with a caveman. I knew that for sure.
Also Jessie had been worrying herself sick and calling twice a day, everyday wanting to know how I was. Even Michael called on a daily basis, which Jake didn’t look too happy about. He never ceases to amaze me, but the possessiveness only added to his charm and made me feel all the more wanted.
After our chats and a few cuddles and kisses the doctor finally emerged and checked me over, amazed at how quickly I was overcoming this terrible ordeal. I begged him to send me home and he had said yes getting the paperwork sorted out whilst I got ready. I was elated to be finally getting out of here as I have always hated hospitals. Jake couldn’t seem to hide his glee. I brushed my teeth and looked through the contents of the bag that Jake had brought in for me. Eyes bristled with tears when I saw that he had bought two summer dresses, one a maroon and one a navy colour. Although they were sleeveless they both had polar necks on them to hide my finger marks, which is what had made the tears threaten. It probably wouldn’t be a good idea going home brandishing what had happened to me, and if I didn’t have to look at them every second of the day myself, then all the better.
I came out of the bathroom feeling a little better. I threw my arms around Jake and gave him a big kiss, grateful to have him here with me, tending to my needs as always.
“Wow, what was that for?”
I frown at him, “Can’t I just want to hug you and kiss you for no reason?” He cups my face.
“Of course you can. No reason is as good reason as a reason.”
I start laughing. “You’re just too damn cute you know that?”
His face crinkles into a frown, “Ana, I have been called lots of things, but cute ain’t one of them.”
I smile as I realise he doesn’t seem to like that idea. “Cute as a button.” I grab his nose with my two fingers and I laugh as he pulls away from me in moderate disgust. The doctor comes through the door at that moment, and he seems unimpressed by our little antics. I soon find out why.
“Ana, I’ve got some pamphlets here I think you should read. You may want to book yourself an appointment with a Dr Townsend. She is a very good therapist near to you and I’m sure she could help you a great deal.”
I wave my hands at him, “I’m fine honest.” He then proceeds to tell me that my nightmares tell me otherwise and if I don’t deal with it, then I will be living a waking nightmare. He seemed pissed so I took the stuff from him anyway, and he then turned his attention to Jake where he told him to watch out for certain signs, like sudden loss of breath etc. He then gave him some tablets to help me with the pain.
We get outside where I took my first lungful of air which felt heavenly, despite the burning in my throat. We got to the parking lot where Jake opened the car door for me. He moves burying himself into me and gently kisses my lips, which sets my heart racing as it does every time.
“You look beautiful in that dress Ana. You always do look beautiful.”
I gently rub my nose with his. “Take me home now Jake.”
He smiles, “Oh baby, it would be my pleasure.”
We set off after Jake makes sure I get in the car safely and zooms across to his side to start the car. He seems anxious to get out of here as I am and it feels as though I don’t let out a breath until we’re on the I-495, heading back home.
When pulling into the drive at home, Matthew comes bouncing out the door like he’s been there all day waiting, and gives me a big hug. I welcome it wholeheartedly. Once he retreats I see tears in his eyes which set off a fresh batch of my own. I had never seen Matthew cry and I certainly didn’t want to be the cause of it. “Hey, don’t be upset Matthew, I’m fine. Look at me. I’m ok.” I hold his face in my hands and he nods trying hard to compose himself.
“I’ve been going insane with worry Ana, everyone has and, my jerk off father wouldn’t let me come see you whilst you were in hospital.”
Jake slams the boot of his car a bit more forcefully than he should of, obviously angry at Matthew’s annoyance. I feel I have to say something to calm the situation. “Look Matthew, he was right to make you stay,
your studies are important especially now.” He looked like he wanted to argue the point but the expression on my face stopped him. I think he had said enough.
We strolled back into the house with Matthew’s arm wrapped tightly around me like he was afraid I’d disappear. I can’t believe how tall he is getting. He’s towering over me already.
“You feel like you’ve lost weight Ana. Obviously hospital food doesn’t agree with you. I’ll make you some noodles if you like?”
He seems eager to be doing something and I don’t want to disappoint him, “That would be nice, thank you Matthew.” He goes running towards the kitchen as I take in the full view of the living room filled with flowers. Matthew remembers and turns round.
“They’ve been arriving all day for you Ana. Everybody’s so happy it’s all finally over and that you’re safe.”
I feel overwhelmed with emotion. I walk over to a bunch of pink orchids and read the card.
‘Ana, We’re all so happy you are safe and I’m well on the mend. Get well soon, all my love Joe, Sally and family. P.S. It’s a girl!’
Tears spring my eyes. I’m so happy for them and I’m also really glad Joe doesn’t seem to be holding a grudge. I wouldn’t blame him if he did. Jake wraps his arms around me from behind, and I lean my head into him.
“Joe’s wife is pregnant?”
He had obviously read the card over my shoulder. “Yes, he told me in the car on the way back to the house that day. I asked him to let me know how they got on at the hospital. They were going for a scan and he wanted to know the sex of the baby.” Jake inhales my scent. “I must smell awful after being in that hospital for four days.” I feel him nuzzle his nose into the back of my neck.
“You always smell so wonderful.”
I turn round, wrap my arms around him and give him a light kiss. “That’s very kind of you to say so Jake, but I would still love to get a shower as soon as I’m done with my noodles. I’m starving.” Jake laughs and pats me on the backside. I look at the other notes attached to the flowers. There are some colourful Chrysanthemum’s from Jessie wishing me well and begging me to call as soon as I get the note. I must give her a ring after my shower. There’s a big bunch of summer flowers from everyone in offices and another surprise one from Mandy. I pick the note up.
‘I’m so sorry to hear about your ordeal. I hope you get well soon and looking forward to seeing you back healthy at work. Love Mandy. P.S. I’m still going to hold you to that drink.’
I laugh at that and show Jake the note. Everyone seems to like there P.S.’ on their cards to me today. Jake looks at it and raises an eyebrow.
“A drink ha, when was this planned?”
I sit down and sigh, “Jake, seriously, you’re going to get all caveman on me now?” His face softens as he sits next to me.
“Yes, sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I guess some things never change.”
Chapter 29
The rest of the afternoon into the evening went on really well. Matthew brought out chicken flavoured noodles for everyone which tasted great but my throat was still sore, which didn’t help. It was hard to eat all of it up, but I thanked Matthew for making the effort for me. I took a couple of the tablets the doctor gave me to help ease the pain a little which did help after a while. We talked about what had been happening for the last few days and the mention of Cindy made Matthew wince a bit. “What’s wrong Matthew, has something happened?” I asked.
“No, it’s not that. It’s just I did mention to dad about her coming over and he said we would have to see as you needed your rest.”
I look at Jake and his face is not amused. “Don’t be silly. I’m as fit as a fiddle. I want to see her. Jake, she can come over can’t she? Maybe this Friday or Saturday?” Matthew beams and looks at Jake expectantly.
“Ok, that’s fine. Invite her over Friday.”
He gives us a big hug and runs to the phone to call Cindy.
“Are you sure about this Ana? You’re more important at the moment, Cindy can wait.”
“Jake, stop worrying I’m fine. I’m really looking forward to it in fact. I need the normality back in my life. I want things to go back to the way they were, and just get on with things without any fuss.” Jake pulls me into him.
“You’re amazing do you know that?”
I bury my head in his chest, not wanting to let go. “You’re pretty awesome yourself Mr Bennett.” He kisses the top of my head.
“I love you Ana. I don’t want to ever have you taken away from me like that again. I never want to feel that hopeless again, ever. It was torture.”
“I love you too Jake. I’m not going anywhere. This is where I want to be.” I stare into his beautiful piercing green eyes. Jake almost speaks when Matthew comes in the room.
“Sorry, erm, that was Cindy. She says that she would be honoured to come round on Friday for dinner.”
I chuckle at Matthew’s bashfulness.
“Honoured? I wonder if she’ll feel that way once sat round the dinner table with us a for a few minutes.”
I slap Jake’s arm and he cowers, “Hey, we’re not that bad. I’m sure she’ll love us. We’ll certainly make her feel welcome Matthew.” He smiles at me in gratitude. “Right, I’m off upstairs. I really need to take a shower.”
I make my way upstairs with Jake following behind with all my belongings from the hospital. I set myself down on the bed feeling exhausted from the day. I rub my shoulder.
“Is that sore?” Jake asks.
“A little,” I answer.
“Hold on one moment.” Jake rushes to the bathroom and runs a bath.
He then glides back over to me and starts rubbing my shoulders. It feels great. I moan my appreciation.
“Is that good?”
“Hmmm, yes thank you.” We stay like that for a while until the bath seems full.
“Right, I think this is ready for you now.”
I begin to get up, when he rushes over and picks me up. “You know, it’s a funny thing Jake,” I declare.
“Aha, what’s that?”
“There’s this part of everyone’s anatomy called legs. Marvellous invention made by god. I believe he made them so people could walk.”
He chuckles a little, “I just love carrying you everywhere. Especially if it means holding you close to me.”
I give him a cheeky grin and sigh. How could I argue with that?
Jake takes special care of me after that. He undresses me and carefully places me in the bath. He bathes me tenderly not once trying to squeeze a nipple or cop a feel, nothing. I almost feel neglected and wonder if Jake now feels repulsed by me after what has happened. This sudden thought has me panicking. Does he not want me anymore? Once he finishes bathing me he gently lifts me out of the bath and towels me dry. Again he doesn’t touch me or linger his gaze on me the way he used to. The concept threatens to burn tears in my eyes, but the quick stabbing in my throat helps me to hold them back. He doesn’t want me and the thought hurts more than anything imaginable. He disappears for a few moments and comes back with a white fitted slip on nightie. He carefully slides it over my head and takes me to the bed where he makes me comfortable.
“Better?” He asks.
“Much better thank you. He gets up.
“Where are you going?”
“Don’t worry I’ll be back. I’m just going to speak to Matthew a few minutes and I’ll come straight back up.”
He wanders off and I lay there feeling a bit miffed and confused. Normally Jake is all over me, touching me everywhere. He has always known how to make me feel wanted and special, but now there’s nothing. Instead I feel isolated and undesirable. The thought rattles me through my very core. I turn round to one side, grabbing the sheets and hugging them to me, when Jake makes his entrance.
“I told Matthew we were having an early night. I just thought it would be nice to hold you for a while before we went to sleep. Tomorrow we will do whatever you want.”
; “What about work Jake?”
He huffs, “Don’t be silly Ana, I’m not leaving you. I’ve taken a couple of days off to take care of you.”
He gets undressed to his boxer shorts and climbs in. He slides himself over to me and soon we are spooning.
I wait for a while for him to do something, anything, but I’m disappointed once again. I can’t hold it back now. “Jake?”
“Yes babes?”
“Why don’t you want to touch me?” I ask.
“I’m sorry?”
“You’re here with me yes, but you won’t touch me. Do you not want me anymore?” His head snaps up as he pulls me over to face him.
“Ana, you don’t realise how much it has killed me not to. I was trying to be gentle for your sake. I didn’t know whether you wanted me to be pouring myself all over you like always when you’ve only just come back from the hospital. What kind of jerk off would I be if I were to do that? When I was rubbing your shoulders and you were making those noises, it took every ounce of strength not to turn you over and make love to you then and there, and then there was the bath. That was torture in itself. I just want you to see that I can control myself. Well, sort of, but its agony.”
I felt elated, he still wanted me. “Jake?” I ask, noting the happiness in my voice.
“Yes?” He implores.
“Please make love to me.”
He strokes my face, “Really?”
“Really, really,” I state.
“Then it will be my pleasure Miss Sinclair.”
With that he kissed me and made sweet tender love to me for hours. It was bliss. Eventually feeling sated and relaxed we both drifted off into a wonderful sleep.
Chapter 30
The next day started off very much how it ended and we stayed in bed for an eternity, laughing and joking and Jake fussing over me every five minutes. We were wrapped up in each other’s arms elated, happy and hopeful of the future. Once we did finally did get out of bed and feed ourselves, I thought it a nice opportunity to get some lengths done in the pool, to which Matthew later came in and decided to join me. We had fun splashing around and even had a couple of races before it got too much for my lungs and had to give it up. Jake quickly reprimanded me and told me to take it easy. I think he found my lease of life hard too hard to comprehend after what I had just gone through. I got myself dried off and left Jake and Matthew to play football with one another. They needed some father, son time. Jake has been devoting way too much attention on me lately. As I make my way inside I realise I didn’t call Jessie yesterday. Man, she’s going to be pissed. I get to the phone and dial the number at work.
Take a Breath (Take 1) Page 24
