“This food smells delicious, Walter,” said Marcus as I was coming out with the meatloaf.
“Yeah, taught that nigger everything I know,” he said, laying back in his chair like he was the king.
Fool, please. My parents taught me how to cook.
“I assume that wasn’t an easy task.”
“Of course it wasn’t, sweetheart. It’s like teaching monkeys.” They all laughed. No matter how much it hurt, I didn’t let it show.
“So Dad, how has golf been going?” Logan asked, dismissing the discussion. It confused me because I thought that surely he would have joined in on the laugh. He always had something to say about me before.
Walter laughed. “It’s not for me, son.”
“Your father isn’t lying, son. He once swung so hard that he lost his grip and fell, hitting his head with the club.” They all laughed and I inwardly smiled. I would have loved to have seen that.
I went back into the kitchen and cleaned up, staying in there the whole time the Heeds were there unless they needed me to bring more food.
That night I was on the kitchen floor, cleaning up the dirty paw prints that Chester left me. I had already taken care of Walter and he was now in bed and Logan was in his room. While I was scrubbing the floor, I sang quietly. Singing always brought me peace. It made me forget about my problems and I end up daydreaming about a faraway land. A land where I’m in a field of lilies, running in my bare feet, while wearing a long beautiful white dress, with my hair hanging down my back in long waves, blowing in the wind. I look over to the side and my parents are there, sitting in the grass, Mom in Dad’s lap. They’re both laughing at my antics, just enjoying the scenery around them. I was soon snapped out of my fairytale when someone spoke.
“That was beautiful.”
I snapped my head up and saw Logan standing in the doorway.
I hurriedly stood up and moved to the side, not blocking the fridge anymore. “I’m sorry, sir. I shouldn’t have been in your way.” I was wringing my hands together, waiting for a slap, or a push or just a bunch of obscenities yelled at me.
“No, you’re fine. I was just coming for some water when I heard you singing. You have a beautiful voice.”
“Thank you,” I said with my head down. How long was he going to keep this up?
“You’ve got that from your mom.”
My head snapped up and I stared at him. “Excuse me?”
“I said, you got your voice from your mom. I remember hearing her sing while she was gardening or washing dishes. It’s the same song, actually,” he said, lost in thought.
“Y…yeah.” This is a really cruel joke. I mean, to bring up my mother. My body was starting to get hot, filling up with rage, but I had to control myself, and it’s a good thing I’m good at that. Well, I was until he showed up.
I assumed he was going to keep going. Make it worse for me, but he didn’t. It’s like understanding dawned on his face and he dropped it. “Well, I’m just going to get my water and be out of your way.” He then went to the fridge, grabbed a bottled water, and started to walk out. “Have a good night.” He then left.
I just stood there almost about to have a mental breakdown right then and there. He’d found a new way to torture me and I didn’t know if I could handle it.
Chapter 3
I was in a field of lilies, running in my bare feet, while wearing a long beautiful white dress, with my hair hanging down my back in long waves, blowing in the wind. I looked over to the side and my parents were there, sitting in the grass, Mom in Dad’s lap. They’re both laughing at my antics, just enjoying the scenery around them. The birds were around me, singing, the sun was shining bright, and right ahead of me, I saw a figure standing there. I smiled and ran faster toward the figure. He had a huge smile on his face and his arms were open wide. I ran right into them and they immediately filled me with a sense of security. Like this was where I belonged. I looked up into his eyes with a huge smile. “Logan.”
“Tiana.”
I sat up in bed, my heart beating fast, not able to catch my breath. What was that? Why in the world was I dreaming of Logan? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have dreamed of Logan before, but it was usually in a horror setting, not a happy setting. I mean, why were we looking at each other like that? We hated each other. And why did he make me feel safe and happy? Those two words don’t belong anywhere near Logan.
I shook my head. It was probably from not eating all day. Walter forbade it when he found out about the dirty bag and because he hated the way I decorated Logan’s room. “I gave you a simple task and you couldn’t even do that right,” were his words.
But what confused me was, I’ve gone a day without eating before. Two days even, but I have never had a dream like that before. I guess my subconscious decided to join in on the fun and play a prank on me too.
I sighed and then lay back down. My stomach growled, so I turned to my side and scrunched up in a ball. After what felt like hours, I finally fell asleep, but the next dream that came wasn’t any better.
For the next few days, I’d been trying to avoid Logan. Keyword, try. It doesn’t help that I had work to do around the house, so it’s not like I could stay in my room. It helped that he hadn’t tried to speak to me again though. That’s a good sign. Maybe. It still confused me that he hadn’t said anything, though. Usually, there would be some snide remarks about my hair, my clothes, my face, but…nothing. He didn’t even join in on the laughs when Walter made a joke toward me. There’s no physical contact either. No pushing, no hair pulling, no slapping. He’s really dedicated to this prank, which frustrates me even more.
Gah! Why can’t I catch a break?
I was walking out of the laundry room when I saw Chester. I instantly began to sweat and feel light-headed. My heart was beating fast and I was fidgeting. As you have realized, this was my reaction every time I saw Chester, but what made it even worse on days like these…I had to give him a bath. It’s suicide, but Walter doesn’t care.
I tried to put on my calm act. “Are you ready for bath time, boy?”
He just sat there and growled. Keep it together, Tiana.
“I’m sure you’re ready to be clean after playing in all that dirt.”
He continued to growl.
“Sir would really like it if…”
He then took off and started straight toward me. I stood there waiting for impact, because what’s the use of running when…
“Heel!”
I looked up and saw Logan glaring at Chester, and then I looked back at the dog and he was growling. Even more, if it was possible.
I looked back up at Logan, and he was looking at me with concern, and wait—was that regret? Thankfully he didn’t move any closer though.
“I don’t mind helping with the bath.”
This again?
“That’s not necessary, but thank you. I have everything handled.” I really didn’t want to get struck down for lying.
He smiled a little and then looked at Chester. “Come on, boy. It’s time for a bath.” He then walked off with Chester following behind. Was he serious right now?
I ran after them. Well, I tried my best, what with having giant bite marks in my leg.
They were already in the bathroom when I caught up with them. Logan was in the closet, getting the shampoo towel and rag.
“Sir, this is really not necessary. I can’t leave you to do this.” Walter will kill me.
He placed the stuff on the toilet and went to the tub and turned on the faucet. “You’re not leaving me alone to do this.”
Oh no. He knows how hard a time I have giving Chester a bath. He’s probably going to record the whole thing and show it to Walter so they can have a laugh. He may even show his friends. I knew this was going to bite me in the butt.
“You’re going to help me.”
Wait, what?
“I can’t allow you to give Chester a bath with only the use of one arm, so I’m here to help.”
Not once did he look me in the eyes when he spoke. He just continued to check the temperature of the water.
“But…”
“You have to do what I say.”
I froze and my body went cold. Alarm showed on his face. “I’m so sorry, I…” He started to reach out toward me, but then pulled back.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”
No, you didn’t mean for your charade to fall apart.
“I’m still a work in progress.”
I inwardly frowned. What does he mean by that?
He had his head down, looking ashamed. For some strange reason, I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but then I snapped out of whatever sick trance I was in before I did something stupid.
For a couple of minutes, we stood in silence until Chester barked.
Logan smiled a little and rubbed Chester’s head. “Sorry, buddy. Just got a little distracted.” He then looked at me and the smile dropped, but nothing evil replaced it. “Is it fine if I help you?”
For some reason, I knew he would leave if I refused his help, but I could see in his eyes that he was pleading with me to let him stay.
Maybe I’m dreaming. A really long, terrifying dream. Maybe that’s why I answered. “Y…yes.”
His small smile reappeared. He then looked at Chester and tapped him on the butt. “Come on, big boy.”
Chester then jumped in the tub. I slowly walked up and knelt by the tub. As soon as I did, Chester whirled on me and growled.
“Enough,” Logan said in a stern voice. “Tiana is going to help give you a bath, so you are going to behave, do you understand?”
Chester stared at me with a hard look and I knew he wanted to jump at me so bad.
“Chester,” he asked, giving him a pointed look. Chester turned to him and barked.
“All right, let’s get started.”
We were silent for the most part while he bathed him, and I was happy about that.
As we were rinsing him off, all of a sudden he started shaking and splattered water all over us. I shrieked and Logan laughed.
“You big goof.”
Chester replied with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.
Logan laughed again, and it did something weird to my stomach. Of course, I’d seen him laugh before, but it was always at my expense, and it wasn’t carefree like it is now. It was nice.
I inwardly groaned. I have got to get out of here.
Once we were finished and had Chester dried off, it was time for bed. Well, for them, anyway.
“Will that be all, sir?”
“Yeah. I guess I should go to bed and be out your way.”
“Okay.”
He continued to stand there looking at me, me looking back. Finally, he snapped out of it. “Goodnight, Tiana.”
“Goodnight, sir.”
“Call me Logan.” He smiled a little and then walked off, leaving me flabbergasted.
Chapter 4
“You stupid fool!” I was knocked into the counter, hitting my head. I touched my head and looked at my hand, covered in blood.
Oh, God!
He looked at me with disgust and then spit at me. He then stormed out. After a couple of seconds, I heard the front door slam and then I heard his truck start.
I was slowly lifting myself up, holding the counter for support when Logan rushed in. I was immediately lifted up and cradled in his arms.
“S…sir, what are you doing?” I asked drowsily.
He ignored me and continued carrying me down the hall. I looked at his face and saw that he was furious, but trying to contain it. Why was he so upset?
“I…I have to go clean up the mess.”
He still ignored me. “Sir?” I was hit with a wave of dizziness, so I closed my eyes and squeezed them, willing it to go away.
We soon made it to the bathroom and I was placed on the toilet. He walked to the medicine cabinet and started rummaging through it.
“Sir, I’m fine. It’s just a little bump. It will heal.”
“I’m going to clean it up and then we’re going to go to the hospital,” he said, completely ignoring me.
My eyes widened. Hospital? “Sir, that isn’t necessary. I can…” I stopped mid-sentence after receiving a hard look.
I put my head down. “Yes, sir.”
After he cleaned me up, he drove me to the hospital, where they told me I had a concussion and that I needed stitches. Of course, they told me I needed to rest, but that wasn’t going to happen.
“The doctors are right. You need to rest,” he said as he helped me in the front door. Thank God Walter wasn’t home.
“I’m not doing anything vigorous, so I should be fine.”
“Completing all of your chores would be considered vigorous. You don’t need the stress.”
I knew he was trying to get me into trouble. Walter would kill me if I didn’t work.
“No, no, I’m fine. It will soon pass. I just need to get back to work and forget all about it.” I knew he wanted to argue, but he didn’t. Who is this man standing in front of me?
He sighed. “Fine, but I need you to be careful. If you feel anything or notice anything, let me know.”
“But…”
He gave me a pointed look and I sighed inwardly. “Yes, sir.”
I then turned around and started walking to the kitchen. “It’s Logan,” he said behind me. I stopped in my tracks, but then after a few seconds of momentary shock, I continued walking.
Throughout the day, he would check up on me, and I thought that it was odd, yet comforting. But then a thought came to me. Why was he being so nice? I mean, was the joke that important to him? Maybe it was a bet. That had to be it. He probably made a bet with Walter or one of his friends. I was just a toy in their games and that just filled me with anger.
You’re probably wondering how I got into this mess in the first place. Well, before I was born, my parents lived a mostly happy life. They fell in love in college and they married right after graduation. They had a great family and great friends. The problem came when they wanted to own their own business. They took out a loan and promised to pay it back, but the bank wanted the money back at a certain time and my parents didn’t have it. So the manager of the bank—yes, that’s right—Walter said that either they worked for him or he would kill them. Of course, my dad tried to just give himself up instead and told Walter to let my mom go, but we all know Walter wasn’t that type of man.
My dad was killed when I was fifteen. Walter was beating my mom, and Dad had enough of it, so he snapped. He grabbed a knife and came charging toward him, but Walter was faster. He pulled out a gun and shot him. I was hiding under the table when it happened. To this day I don’t know how she did it. How she continued on after that happened. I used to be angry with her. Why didn’t she just take us and leave? Why did she let this man continue to harm us and not do anything about it? I finally understood when he killed my mom six months ago. Because she was trying to protect me, she lost her life. He shot her in the stomach. All he did was pull out his phone and record the whole scene, laughing. And that did it for me. I grabbed a knife and charged toward him. I mean, it’s not like I had anything or anyone to live for. But as I got closer to the smiling Walter, I suddenly stopped. I realized that this wasn’t me. I wasn’t a killer. I didn’t want to be like him. The other thought that crossed my mind was that if he killed me, he would find somebody else, and I didn’t want anybody to have to go through this.
So here I am. Fighting for my life every day. Hating him and Logan every day. I remember asking my dad why white people were so mean. He told me that no matter what I go through, I should never think that. Not all whites are mean, and not all blacks are nice. The world is just filled with some bad people, but I shouldn’t categorize them because of their race. No one race is inferior to the other. I take that lesson to heart every day.
Just thinking about that talk makes me miss him. I think about that day constantly. What if I did
try to kill Walter? I mean, I would be dead, but I would be with my parents. I would be with them in a field of lilies. I mean, I’m not strong enough for this life. Not without them. Before my mom died, she told me to be strong for the both of them. Her and my dad. I’m sure she just wanted me to feel better because there is no way that I could be. When I look in the mirror, I don’t see the face of a strong woman. I see the face of a failure. A loser.
Chapter 5
“But I need you.” A tear fell on her nose.
She smiled. “You have me. In here,” she said, slowly placing her hand on my chest.
I shook my head. It wasn’t enough. “I can’t…I can’t do this on my own.”
“Baby girl, you’re a lot stronger than you think. I’ve seen it.
“Mom, no, I…”
She coughed and blood spewed out of her mouth.
I frantically took off my shirt and started wiping at her chin and mouth. “Please let me go get help.
She slowly shook her head, and then placed her hand on my cheek and smiled as a tear rolled down her face. “I love you.”
“Don’t…don’t talk like that. You’re going to be fine.” My throat was closing up and my chest was starting to tighten.
She continued to caress my cheek. “Be strong for all of us.” Her hand then started to lose its grip and her eyes started to close.
“Mom?”
She took one last breath.
“Mom!”
“Mom!” I sat up and realized it was just a dream. A dream that was real. I immediately broke down. I pulled my knees up to my chest and just rocked back and forth, sobbing. All of a sudden, I felt arms around me. I instantly knew who it was, but I didn’t care. I wrapped my arm around him and held on for dear life.
Now I understood what my dreams mean. I do feel secure.
While he held me, he sang. No, he didn’t have the best voice, but the fact that he did it made me feel better. I wanted him to never stop.
Craving Forbidden (Craving Series Book 8) Page 31
