by K. M. Raya
Hayzed ‘n’ Confuzed: A Rockstar Romance: Copyright © 2019: K.M. Raya. All
right reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means,including information storage and retrieval systems without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and
incidents are either products of the author's imagination or used simply for
the purpose of furthering the storyline and do not represent the institutions
or places of business in any way. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or
dead, or actual events is purely coincidental or used for fictional purposes.
Hayzed 'N' Confuzed
K.M. RAYA
Up and coming rock band Hayzed ‘n’ Confuzed almost had it all. Fame was on the horizon until tragedy brought everything to a grinding halt. Lead singer and guitarist Lilith Hayze is left reeling after losing her twin sister and bandmate, Rosalie Hayze. The band is in shambles and life is looking pretty bleak until finally, the gods of rock shine down on them one more time.
When a last-minute change of plans causes the world famous rock band- Serenity Rising to search for an opening act, Lilith and her crew may just be their saving grace. Although captivated by the dark angel on stage before him, Serenity Rising's lead guitarist Soren James is reluctant to hire a band with a female lead.
Despite his protests and those of his bandmates, Hayzed ‘n’ Confuzed is joining them on tour and on the road to fame. The chemistry between Lilith and Soren is off the charts, but can the surly guitarist and the heartbroken frontwoman see through the ghosts of the past and find a way to create a future together?
The Year Before...
Nothing could have prepared Lilith for the dread that filled every crevice of her body the moment she stepped through the door. Something was incredibly wrong. The air was stale—as if she'd been gone for weeks, rather than just a few hours while she attended her evening math class.
"Rose!" she called out to the quiet two-bedroom apartment. Her twin should have been home from Alex’s by now. The place was silent. Even their cat, Pandora, was nowhere to be seen.
Lilith tried to swallow the persistent feeling of...otherness that hovered around her like suffocating cloud, but it itched up her arm and sent chills snaking down her spine. Not knowing what possessed her to run, she found herself sprinting down the dark hallway with her heart in her throat. The door to Rose's room was uncharacteristically unlocked. Not an item was out of place save for a single sheet of paper—neatly folded on the bedside table.
Vomit threatened to make an appearance the moment her mind began to process the reality of the little note—that one small scrap of ordinary binder paper. She knew in that moment that nothing would ever be the same again. She knew it in the way her body felt ripped in two....and in the way the bedroom was just a tad cooler than the hallway. The wrongness in the familiar space was thick like molasses on her tongue as she heaved in breath after shaking breath.
A reluctant sob slipped through her lips as she approached the semi closed door that led to her sister's large walk-in closet. Her hand shook as it curled around the door handle. Then, as the knob turned beneath her shaking fingers, a low, keening wail of sorrow crept out from the small dark room. It was Pandora—she was crying.
Lilith jerked the door open and immediately fell to her knees. Pandora laid there on the carpeted floor beneath her sister's bare feet. Pandora's little black head didn't lift to acknowledge Lilith, but her wails kept coming. It took only a moment for Lilith to understand that the sound was coming from her mouth and not the cat's. The world felt too small—colors drained away and crushing darkness crept closer. Through the fog of emotion that choked her throat and cut off her air, she managed to raise her dark brown eyes to meet the milky ones that used to match them perfectly. There was no life left in those eyes.
Rose's beautiful face was a mask of pain and terror—frozen in the shock of her final moments. Lilith melted into a puddle on the floor, drowning in tears and searing lightning strikes of fear that blocked out everything else. The closet disappeared as she fell into unconsciousness. Distantly, she could hear the sound of their front door slamming open and the voices of her neighbors calling out in concern. She should call out to them. She should have dialed 911. There were a lot of things she should have done. But none of it mattered. Not anymore.
1
Present Day : Soren
The multicolored lights were shining bright, but the faces of the crowd were still nothing more than a blur. Soren attempted to make out features but all he could see was the rhythmic swaying of bodies as his music tumbled across the amphitheater. This feeling was a high like no other. Knowing that thousands of strangers were singing your lyrics—losing themselves to your creations is a heady feeling.
Angel swayed next to him and screamed and crooned into the microphone. His voice was intoxicating and he knew it. Soren’s lyrics flowed from the blonde singer's lips in a way that both told a story and siphoned the collective anger and angst from the room and turned it into something incredible. This show had been one of their best this summer. They'd been traveling for the past three months on a miniature tour through the West Coast before preparing to set off on their twelve month, country wide tour. They were excited but anxious to get going.
Soren plucked out the final, lingering notes of their closing song and the sound vibrated through the air like some sort of magic. The crowd went ballistic and then they were heading off stage. Dripping sweat and breathing fast, Miles, Nero, Angel and Max stood before him with smiles on their wet faces. It never got old—this feeling.
Serenity Rising hit the big time about five years back when Soren and the guys had been fresh out of high school. They’d gone from small town garage band to chart toppers in a single year. He’d never forget the feeling of walking onto his first arena stage, feeling the lights, the heat and the anticipation hit him all at once. It was a far cry from dive bars and school dances.
They hadn’t even meant to become famous. Angel had been all set to leave for college the fall after their senior year of high school when Soren decided to get drunk and force his way on stage in a local club. Little had he known that three label executives had been in the crowd that night and the rest was history. Their lives had changed forever, and he wouldn’t change it for the world.
His days morphed into blurring years and little by little he could feel himself falling into the life of a rock star. The girls, the parties, the endless sleepless nights. He loved his life, but sometimes there were moments—like when he woke to a new day alone, that he felt hollow. It was something akin to homesickness that churned in his gut upon waking to another stranger’s face in his bed. Something was missing in his perfect life, but he couldn’t figure out what it was.
Now that their set had ended, and the lights went low once again, he could feel the adrenaline draining from his body. The crowd was still cheering, but his brain was already asleep in his bus. It was like that these days. His life had become monotonous.
Miles, their bassist, and one of Sorens best friends, led the way to their dressing rooms where showers awaited. Soren couldn't wait to peel the sticky pants off of his legs. Cameras snapped all around him and the noise was almost as deafening as it had been on stage. People yelled this, demanded that and so on but it was like he had tunnel vision. Shower first, socialize later.
They emerged from the dressing room an hour later, signed their fans autographs and made nice with media. They'd done this same routine for m
onths but it was worth the hassle just to play their music.
It was almost midnight when Soren’s phone rang. They'd just packed up and loaded into the limousine. "What could you possibly need?" he snapped impatiently. He was being rude, but he was running on fumes at this point.
"Soren, thank god! We have a situation...get the guys and meet me in my room ASAP!" Gabriel screeched before hanging up. Their manager had a tendency to overreact and Soren could tell they were in for a long night. He took a deep, calming breath but it was no use.
"Code red, boys, Gabe’s on a rampage," Soren informed the car full of tired bandmates. A collective groan filled the limo because all they wanted to do was sleep.
Most of the time, they would head off to a club or an after party to round out the night, but not that night. They were staring down the barrel of a twelve month long tour and needed to recharge as much a possible.
Nero looked up from his phone with a frown. His auburn hair was pushed back from his scowling face, "Whatever it is better be life or death. I swear, every time he does this shit it turns out to be nothing."
“I’m so fucking tired, can’t we wait until morning?” Angel complained as he tilted sideways, ready to pass out on the heated leather seats. The lead singer's voice was rough and cracking just like always. Screaming in the microphone to a sea of thousands for close to an hour could do that to a guy.
Soren ignored them but prayed that the night would be over soon. They were moving on to a city in So Cal in the morning and none of them were looking forward to the six hour bus ride.
2
Lilith
Lilith hung up the phone and felt like she had to scrape her jaw off the floor. Her hands were shaking and her bandmates were looking at her as if she'd grown another head.
"So, are you going to spill, or do I need to call an ambulance?" Blair, the bands bassist asked as they waited for an explanation. The small woman bounced on the balls of her feet in anticipation.
"That was Lenna, she wants us to play at the Savemart Center tomorrow night because one of their openers pulled out last minute," she explained and was met with a chorus of cheers from her bandmates.
"Holy hell, are you serious? Who's the headliner?" Alex, their rhythm guitarist asked. Lilith’s heart was still beating hard enough to make her sweat.
"Serenity Rising..." The band fell silent—jaws hit the floor. Serenity Rising was one of the biggest punk/alternative rock bands in the industry right now and happened to be a huge source of inspiration for Lilith's own writing. "There's a catch though, Lenna told the band manager to come to the club tonight...I guess they want to see if we live up to the hype."
Jett, the drummer, let loose a loud whoop and everyone seemed to have recovered from their shock. "Hell yeah we live up to the hype! I can't believe this, how the hell did Lenna pull that off?"
"I have no clue, but I'm not gonna to ask questions. We have to be at soundcheck by noon tomorrow though, we need to get through our gig tonight—smoothly, no parties, no boos." Everyone nodded their agreement. Tonight wasn't the night to let loose.
They went their separate ways—each of them giddy and nervous, however, a pit was forming in Lilith's stomach as soon as she walked through her front door. Her new place was small and empty. Moving boxes remained unpacked save for a few personal items here and there. Pandora lounged on the sofa, unfazed by Lilith's return.
For a split second, Lilith had the terrible urge to call out into the empty apartment. It was a reflex—a horrible habit that she had yet to break. Nobody was waiting for her return. Not anymore. She missed Rose with a fierceness that hadn't dimmed in the last year. Every day she would wake with a thought or an idea that she couldn't wait to run by her twin, only to be slapped in the face time and time again with reality. That's when the sobs would begin. Her body would shake with tormented wails until either it tired itself out for a long nap or the neighbors complained. Then, like a zombie, Lilith would go about her day as if she hadn't been living in a constant state of unbearable grief.
She needed desperately to purge these thoughts and memories from her mind. She couldn't let herself get dragged back into that dark place she'd finally clawed her way out of. Lilith grabbed her guitar and sat next to Pandora. The little black hellion cracked her green eyes open and promptly closed them again and fell asleep.
Chord after chord fell from her fingertips like a waterfall. It wasn't planned, nor was it written in any sort of order. It was emotion—unguarded and unhinged. The melody was dark and wistful, but it cleansed her soul just enough to remind herself why she still did this. Music was the air she breathed and the sustenance for her soul. Rose had been the same—with the voice of an angel and expert fingers that flew over the keyboard like magic. The band had agreed unanimously that they would not be auditioning to replace her. The keyboard would be set up and taken down every single show, but would remain silent until the hole that she left in their hearts was filled. They all knew this was an impossibility. They didn't just lose their keyboardist. They lost an integral piece of the puzzle that made their crazy life worth living.
After a few hours of mindless strumming and vocal warm ups, Lilith dressed in some shorts, a casual tee and left her long hair loose and straight down her back. The club had a casual vibe that suited her style and she wanted to maintain that image if Serenity Rising was going to be watching. She made her way to the car and packed her guitar into the back seat. Her fingers were shaking as she gripped the steering wheel, pre-show jitters that would hopefully go away by the time they took the stage. Lilith wished with her whole heart that Rose could perform with them. Not just because she was a fantastic keyboardist, but because she had been the heart and soul of Hayzed 'n' Confuzed.
3
Soren
The busses were parked in a small lot just outside of a popular club downtown. The lot was slightly gated off and the manager of the joint promised the utmost privacy. A few cars littered the open spaces here and there but most were parked out front along the streets. They entered through the maze of hallways in the back of the building which led to a series of rooms for them to relax in.
Soren was livid. Steam might have been shooting from his ears he was so angry. How could that idiot go behind their backs and book an unknown to replace their opening act the night before? It was idiotic. It was reckless. Soren swore up and down the hallways of the venue—gathering a small crowd of club personnel who watched him skeptically but not caring one bit. Not only did Gabe book an unknown, he'd booked a band with a female lead. Female. As if this tour weren't already a huge risk. Twelve months across the country and they were going to risk it all on some pop wannabe rocker chick? He almost laughed out loud at the sheer absurdity.
Gabe strolled into the hallway without a care in the world and some pep in his step. His black hair was perfectly coiffed and his collared shirt looked just a little too pressed. He held up his hand as Soren opened his mouth to lash out again.
"I know what you're about to say right now, but you can save the angst for the stage. I've made my choice and the label agrees with me. This band we've found is seriously good and they fit our vibe," he explained and Soren wasn't having it.
"It's a girl. That doesn't fit our vibe at all," he seethed. "What were you thinking? This isn't a pop tour, G. Real female rockers are one in a million and you know that."
Gabe frowned. "That sounds awfully judgy of you, man. Coming from a guy who nobody believed in until he stormed on stage shredded his heart and soul out in front of a room full of label execs...you're being unfair."
Soren huffed and threw his hands up in anger, "That was five years ago, things have changed." He sounded like a whining little girl and he knew it.
"I agree with Soren!" called Angel from down the hall. Soren smirked at his gigantic friend as he came to stand by his side. He wasn't alone—he knew his band was just as ticked off as he was. They'd worked hard for this tour and it was being tossed on the line for a nobody band.
>
"Chill guys, you haven't even heard them play yet and you're already crying about it? How about we save the judgement until you've actually given them a chance, okay?" He walked away without waiting for an answer. The conversation was clearly over. Soren turned to Angel.
"Let get some air, this place is fucking stifling." Angel nodded.
They went outside and discovered the rest of their band already hanging around the back lot, soaking up the last of the summer sun in the city that burned hotter than an oven. Nero, Miles and Max stood against their gigantic black tour bus and passed water bottles around. Tonight, the bottles would be exchanged for shots. A small black Corvette pulled into the lot just behind and to the left of the buses. A tiny woman popped out of the driver's side door. She wore black ripped jean shorts that left her pale legs uncovered to show a collage of intricate tattoos—they snaked up her right arm as well. Her hair was coffee brown, glossy and pin straight, falling to her small waist. She had a piercing in her bottom lip, nose and dime sized gauges in her ears. She was beautiful.
Angel must have honed in on the girl first because before he could process a thing, the large blonde man was sauntering her way. His confidence was astounding and a sight to behold.
"Hey pretty girl, where you off too?" he cooed. The girl startled for a quick second, as if she'd been lost in thought and hadn't noticed the infamous Angel Markson hailing her like a cab.
"Excuse me?" she asked—genuine confusion in her surprisingly deep voice. It was almost gravelly and it made Soren shift from foot to foot.
Angel tried again, "You looking for something, baby? Cuz I'll be more than happy to show you around. We can start with a personal tour of my bus if you'd like." The practiced words rolled off of his tongue like Soren's lyrics, and many women had fallen victim to them over the years.
