by K. M. Raya
With a newfound determination, Soren hopped up from the comfortable bed and stretched before heading to the bathroom to shower and dress. He packed his bags and laid them by the door before deciding a cup of coffee was in order.
He left the room and sauntered down the hallway in search of the elevator that would lead him to the lobby. He passed Angel’s room and Nero’s on the left but figured they might still be asleep. He knew they'd all gone out the night before, so they were probably hungover.
He slowed as he got to the end of the hallway and did something that surprised even him. He knocked on Lilith’s door. She might be sleeping but frankly he didn’t care. He wanted her to get coffee with him. Friends liked coffee.
Her door cracked open and his heart dropped into his stomach. Acid burned at the back of his throat and his vision clouded over with red. Alex stood across the threshold, shirtless with his wet hair dripping onto his bare chest. He held a towel in his hands as he stood there staring at Soren with a smirk on his face. He could hear the shower running in the bedroom which told him that Lilith was somewhere nearby.
“What. The. Fuck—” he ground out and it only made Alex’s eyes sparkle more.
“Morning Soren, what can I do for you?” Alex asked smugly.
Soren wanted nothing more than to grab the douchebag by his pretty hair and drag him down the hallway, but he couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t do that to Lilith.
“Looking for Lilith,” he snapped, trying to reign in his anger.
“She's..." He glanced at the bathroom door before turning back to Soren. "Busy at the moment—long night and all…” He let the statement hang. Soren’s heart was beating too quickly, and his hands were shaking. He was definetly going to throw up.
“Want me to tell her you stopped by?” the asshole asked, and Soren couldn’t even dignify it with an answer.
He spun on his heels, leaving Alex laughing in the doorway to Lilith’s room before slamming his way into the elevator. Once the doors closed, he raised his fists and brought them down with a bang on the mirrored wall. Rage filled his veins as his brain conjured up visions of Lilith and Alex together, his arms around her— lips on her skin…Fuck!
This shouldn’t fucking matter! he screamed in his head as he glared at his own reflection. This chick was driving him insane. Alex and his stupid fucking face… he seethed. “I’m done!” he yelled to the empty elevator.
He didn’t quite know what he was done with, just that he was. The door dinged open and he stormed out, passed by the lobby and out the doors. He needed to get the hell away from the hotel. He covered his head with his hood and folded his hands into his hoodie pocket. The busses were parked a few lots down near the recording studio so he headed there. He would send someone later on to fetch his bags. He couldn’t face her. Not today at least.
On the bus, he threw himself onto his bunk and stared at the ceiling. He pondered his situation. Technically speaking, he didn’t know for sure if anything happened between Alex and Lilith. Seeing him wet after a shower in her room was suggestive, but he really didn’t know the extent of their relationship. He needed to do some digging.
Soren pulled his phone from his pocket and logged on to Facebook. It had been months since he'd been active—his notifications usually drove him crazy so he didn’t even bother. Occasionally he would post to Instagram, but after the band became world wide, he figured he’d better leave the social media up to his PR team. Regardless, he searched for Lilith and to his surprise, found her immediately. He recognized her shiny mane of dark hair that matched her eyes in her profile picture and was relieved to see that her page was public.
Mostly, she posted photos of her band and their day to day, but there were a few posts here and there which showed her checking into various places. The check ins seemed to stop on the day she left for the tour. Smart girl. She knew it was dangerous to give out your location while in a strange city.
He clicked on her photos, feeling like a stalker and found something startling. He knew she had been a twin from what Gabe said, but seeing it was another matter altogether. Photos of Lilith from up to two years ago were filled with smiles and laughter, only there were two Lilith’s. This must be Rose, he thought. They really were identical. Down to the dimples on their cheeks they were carbon copies of one another. Rose was just as beautiful and just as captivating as her sister, but as he looked closer—really looked, he could suddenly see the difference. Rosalie Hayze was...off. That was the best way to put it. She had a look in her dark eyes that screamed at the camera for help.
The posts with Rose in them stopped abruptly about a year and a half ago, presumably when she died. He was so curious about that. The circumstances. How did it happen? He wanted to look it up on Google, but he felt that would be going too far. It was an invasion of privacy for sure. He already felt like a dumb teenager for stalking her on social media, but his curiosity was getting the better of him. In most of the photos, Alex stood between the girls, smiling like an idiot. In the others, Blair or Jett took his place. They seemed like one big happy family. Her profile listed her as single, but that could mean so many things.
He clicked his phone off and laid back on the bed. He was still livid. He knew he had no right to be mad at her. He had no claim on that girl and she had no claim on him. But why did that feel like a lie? No woman had ever made him second guess himself. For as long as he could remember he'd been the one with all of the confidence and swagger. But Lilith… she just didn’t give a single shit. It irked him.
“Fuck this,” he muttered to himself before hauling himself up. He grabbed his acoustic guitar and made his way to the front of the bus. The guys were already filing on and getting settled but he ignored them. Angel glanced up as he walked up the steps and gave him a bland smile.
Soren took a seat on the couch and spent the next few hours writing and strumming. The road was always the ideal place to come up with new ideas. The monotony of the landscapes flying by always provided him with room in his brain for creativity and today was no exception.
They rode through the night and onto the next morning before reaching the next big city. They had an outdoor venue this time and Soren sighed happily. He loved outdoor venues because of the wide open spaces and fresh air. He longed for the summertime when concerts would morph into festivals and they could really let loose.
When they reached the venue, the busses all parked in a field, creating a gigantic circle of vehicles. Soon, security surrounded the busses with caution tape and traffic cones. Fans were relentless and tended to wander around before and after a show, trying in vain to ‘accidentally’ stumble upon a band member. Soren stepped off the bus and onto the thick grass beneath him and stretched. It had been a long night and his muscles were stiff.
The bus to his right was Hayzed. Lilith sat outside of it, on the ground with Blair by her side. They both seemed to be basking in the sunshine which just peeked through the sky. He studied her for a few moments—watching the sunlight absorb into her midnight hair. Her skin was so pale in the sunlight that it almost glowed. Fuck she was gorgeous.
Blair caught his gaze and nudged Lilith. Her head snapped in his direction and to his surprise, she smiled. For a moment, his stomach flipped at the sight of that grin directed at him, but then soured at the memory of Alex standing in her doorway. His face morphed into a scowl and he could see confusion cloud her face immediately. She got to her feet and glided toward him, and like a dumbass, he just stood there waiting.
“You look chipper today,” she drawled, and he fought his grin. She was so utterly casual with him and he didn’t quite know how to handle it.
“I could say the same to you… get a lot of rest?” he asked her with a hint of irritation lacing his petty words.
She frowned. “As a matter of fact, yeah…” She let her statement hang. This was awkward.
“Well, this was nice and all but I’m needed elsewhere,” he told her, and her eyebrows rose.
“Really? We jus
t got here, where do you need to go? I thought it might be fun for us all to go to lunch before soundcheck.”
He huffed, “As friends?”
She tilted her head in confusion.
“As a group of friends, yeah.”
“Count me out. You seem to have plenty of options anyways,” he snapped and the moment the words left his mouth he wanted to snatch them back.
“What are you talking about, Soren?” She was getting irritated, he could tell.
“Nothing… just forget it. I'll see you after sound check… good luck,” he told her as he turned away. He got five steps before a hand latched onto his arm.
Whipping around, Lilith had him by the sleeve and a frown on her face. “Did I do something to piss you off? We were cool just two days ago but you seem cold to me today.”
She really didn’t hold back and it was refreshing but it also forced him to admit things he’d rather not.
“Nope, were good,” he lied and he knew that she could tell. He wouldn’t meet her eyes as she stared at him.
After a moment she shook her head in exasperation with a huff. “Whatever, you come and find me when you’re not being a psycho, alright?”
He gaped at her but this time, she was the one to walk away. He was fucking this up and he couldn’t help it. It was like a train wreck. Every time he thought he knew what he needed to do, he did something stupid. She probably thought he was an idiot.
18
Lilith
That idiot was avoiding her, and she hated it. The man frustrated her to no end but being ignored just pissed her off. They'd gone through soundcheck and that night's show without a single word or glance exchanged between them and she found that it put her on edge.
She told herself that she wanted nothing to do with the beautiful rocker, but the longer she waited for him to acknowledge her, the more she thought of the possibilities of something more. The four bands that made up their tour were lounging in the back rooms after the show and everyone was a sweaty mess. The post show high lingered in the air and she knew they would need an outlet to release the energy.
Soren sat on the grungy couch with a woman on his lap yet again. This one had chocolate brown hair styled in a pixie cut and piercings all over her freckled face. She was attractive but didn’t quite seem like the type of chick he usually went for. Lilith tried not to watch as the woman tried to grab his attention. Reluctantly, she grinned as she noticed the stiff way he held himself. He was clearly putting on a show. Soren paid Lilith no mind as he forced himself to seem interested. He robotically ran his ring clad fingers through her short hair making Lilith want to gag. Her heart clenched tightly in her chest and she felt the overwhelming need to throw up. His plan was working.
She hated the sight of them together. It grossed her out and filled her with uncontrollable jealousy. Just the other day it had been her in that woman’s place. Whatever. She thought to herself. Obviously the man was ready to move on and so should she.
After suffering through that disgusting PDA, they all decided a night out was what they needed. There was a small nightlife scene in this town and they figured if they showed up unannounced it would draw less attention. When they reached the first club, Lilith was relieved to see a small crowd outside unlike the last place which had been swarming with paparazzi.
The music was more mainstream, a lot of top 40 hits which she didn’t particularly care for, but it would have to do. She ordered a few drinks from the bar and found a seat next to Blair and Alex. The club was a decent size and it was dark enough to provide a bit of privacy.
Looking towards the bar she could see Soren, Nero, Angel, and Miles pounding back shots like they were glasses of water. Max was seated next to Lenna, seemingly deep in conversation and she didn't see Jett anywhere. The guys had women all around them, squealing and flipping their hair around like idiots. Lilith rolled her eyes at them. She couldn’t completely blame the women. The men of Serenity Rising were gorgeous. Any girl would be lucky to land one of them even for a night. She knew she was just being bitter because of her connection to Soren James.
But did they have a connection? She continued to ask herself. They really only barely knew one another. She watched with a blank expression as shots turned to body shots and the cheers of the club goers became deafening. As she watched, she caught Soren's eyes as they strayed to hers before snapping away suddenly. She smirked. He was doing this for her sake. He knew she was watching, and he was putting on a show. Well, if he could have his fun, the so could she.
Mind made up, Lilith grabbed Blair by the hand. Her friend squealed in delight as she tipped her shot back before following Lilith to the dance floor. She could feel eyes on her and knew without a doubt that Soren was watching her every move.
“What’s gotten into you?!” Blair yell-whispered in her ear as they joined the masses of writhing bodies.
Lilith twisted around, throwing her hands in the air and swaying to the cheesy pop song. She hated this music but she ignored that. The beat was fast and she was ready to let loose.
“Just dance B!” she yelled back and Blair just laughed as they danced.
Men crowded around them in no time. Lilith was used to men flocking to Blair but she noticed some appreciative glances being thrown her way as well. She knew she looked good tonight. She wore a deep crimson cropped tank with ripped black skinny jeans and heeled boots. Her hair was loose and wavy, and her skin was shimmering with sweat. Her tattoos probably looked awesome under the lighting.
A man grabbed her by the waist and she twisted around to tell him to fuck off but stopped herself last minute. He was good looking with long brown hair and dark blue eyes. He smelled like peppermint and she found that she really didn’t mind his hands on her. It had been so long since she'd enjoyed the company of a man and for a moment, she began to consider what it would hurt to indulge a little. It's not like she would ever see him again anyways.
The man ground against her and she ran her hands up his muscular arms. She could feel the calluses on his hands as they gripped her bare waist. He must work with his hands, she thought idly. The longer they danced, the more confident she felt about her choice. Still though, she could feel Soren’s gaze on her like a laser beam but ignored it. She had no idea where he was in the club, but she had no doubt that he was watching her.
The man leaned in to whisper in her ear. He wanted to go somewhere quiet. As cliché as it was, she couldn’t agree more. Lilith grabbed the guys hand and with a wink to Blair, led him from the dance floor and back to the side entrance of the club. They slipped out the doors and into the alleyway behind the club. It was narrow but the whole area was well lit and there were security cameras everywhere so she wasn’t worried.
As soon as the door shut behind them, the man slammed her against the brick wall, not hard enough to hurt her but hard enough to get her blood pumping and her heart racing. He kissed her neck and held her in place with his massive arms. She was at least a head shorter than him and it made her feel dainty. His rough lips traveled to her mouth and she fought the urge to turn away. There was something about the moment that seemed forced and fake but she tried to ignore it. She deserved to have some fun and let loose. Why should she have regrets? If male rockstars could hook up, why couldn't she?
She kissed him despite what her body was screaming at her. His hands still felt good on her skin even if she didn’t even know his name. She didn’t really care. His fingers moved to the buttons on her jeans and she stiffened for a moment before relaxing again. It was a knee jerk reaction to clam up, but she continued to tell herself that this was okay.
The side door slammed open with a bang and the man was suddenly ripped away from her. Lilith yelped and scrambled to button her jeans back up, all the while searching frantically for the man. She found him on the ground with a large body on top of him. Soren cocked his arm back and punched the man square in his face causing his nose to bleed.
“What the fuck, Soren!” she screamed as she ru
shed over to pull him off. By now the other man started fighting back. “Stop, stop, stop!” she repeated but the men wouldn’t let up.
“Get off me asshole, what the fuck are you doing?!” the man on the ground yelled at Soren but it was like the rocker was in a trance.
Lilith surged forward once more, grabbing Soren by the shirt and hauling him off of the poor guy. The man scrambled to his feet and wiped the blood from his face before facing Soren. His eyes widened for a moment and Lilith knew that was the moment he recognized him.
“Holy shit— it’s Soren James!” He laughed. “I just got tackled by Soren mother fucking James!” He whooped before bolting back through the back door. He didn’t even glance at Lilith. Lovely.
Lilith stood there dumbfounded. She couldn’t believe this was happening. It was only a matter of time until it was all over social media. Fuck! Couldn’t she have just one night?
She rounded on Soren, his eyes were honed in on her and his gaze was still murderous. His breathing was ragged and he looked like a dark, avenging angel. She shook off her intrusive thoughts because now was not the time. Get it together Lil! she chanted in her head.
“Explain yourself!” she snapped and he flinched ever so slightly. He averted his eyes and stared at the wall, balling his fists in rage.
She continued to yell. “Did I really piss you off that badly? Do you hate me that much?!”
His eyes shot back to hers and he stalked forward. “I don’t fucking hate you…goddamnit!” He grabbed his hair and tugged on the short strands. “I don’t even know what to say,” he admitted.
“Why don’t you start by telling me why you assaulted that man, Soren...that was grade A crazy back there.” She folded her arms and waited for his excuses.
