by Bennett Cerf
My best to all the people around the office—
Love,
Donald
March 21, 1944
Dear Don:
All of the wanderers are back home: Thrup, Saxe, Lew and myself. We had a wonderful rest and arranged matters so that we were able to arrive in New York in the midst of a swirling snowstorm. Now we are ready for work on a major scale. It was a fine feeling to walk in and find Linscott toiling away for Random House. Getting him is, in my opinion, the smartest move we have made in a long, long time.
Two letters from you arrived the same day that I did. One of them was dated March 3rd and the other one March 11th. I note in both of them that you are concerned about (1) the general future of Random House, and (2) your own part in the proceedings. I hasten to assure you that both worries could not possibly be more groundless.
Let’s take up the future of Random House first. It is possible, as you suggest, that we may not be able to keep up a yearly pace of two million dollars or more, although I should say, offhand, that the odds are about five to one that we will. Here are my reasons:
1. Modern Library sales are growing so fast that I don’t feel that the restoration of peacetime conditions can do more than temporarily interrupt the trend. The hundreds of thousands of Modern Library books that have been distributed through Army and Navy channels have introduced the series to God knows how many millions of new readers. If only one half of one percent of these boys retain an interest in books in general and the Modern Library in particular, our potential market will have multiplied about five times over pre-war standards. This isn’t just dreaming; it is hard, cold facts. We are taking advantage of present circumstances to make new plates for dozens of old titles, to replace bad translations with good new ones and, in general, to get the line in such shape that the minute paper restrictions and labor difficulties are things of the past we’ll be in a position to go ahead with all stops pulled.
2. The reception of the Illustrated Modern Library books is nothing less than ecstatic. We are getting the art work and plates done on ten more titles at this very moment. We may not be able to print them until the war is over, but when we do get them out, we’ll have a substantial nucleus for a new line with infinite possibilities.
3. The Lifetime Library has been receiving an increasing amount of our attention and Linscott’s coming will intensify our drive in that direction. The Aquinas, as you know, is almost ready. Advance interest in it is enormous. We’ve almost finished setting the Wheatley Pepys in a two-volume set identical with the Plato. A one volume of St. Augustine is under way. Last night I got what I think is another thoroughly sound idea for the series, and that is a complete and unexpurgated Burton’s ARABIAN NIGHTS. This has never been available in anything but an expensive ten or eleven volume set. I think we can boil it down into our two standard volumes and, if that fails, certainly into three. We will get the plates all made and have another item ready for post-war promotion that will bring an income, I feel sure, for the rest of our natural lives.
4. The flat juvenile market has only been tapped. Lew Miller has done a wonderful job of lining up toy accounts, many of whom have vowed to keep on with the line after the war is over. There is no reason on earth why they shouldn’t. The flat juveniles alone should support us in our old age—unless, of course, you feel you have to give Jezebel a new ermine coat every year.
5. To add to our flat juveniles, we’ve got plans afoot for a new 25¢ line which may work wonders. The notion is to translate Harper’s phenomenally successful Tall Mother Goose into the 25¢ line. We are trying to work out a list of ten titles and are wavering between the name of Lofties and Tip Toe Books. This is all very hush hush and we are trying to guard the secret most zealously. If Duplaix ever dares to holler that we swiped an idea of his, we have only to remind him that when we complained about his duplicating our 50¢ and $1.00 titles in his 25¢ Golden Books, he said very vehemently that different priced lines in no way could possibly compete with one another. I really don’t think there will be the slightest trouble along this line. Judging by the way the $1.00 Tall Mother Goose has sold, this format at a quarter could really be a gold mine.
6. To the already formidable stable of first-class writers that are now under contract to Random House, we can expect an addition of still more through the coming of Bob Linscott. We made it very clear to him that we don’t want him to take any authors from the Houghton Mifflin list, but inevitably a couple of them will come with him. Carson McCullers, for instance, has already sworn that she will give a book to nobody but Bob. Furthermore, as you know, he has ins with people like Bernice Baumgarten that none of us could get in twenty years. This is all future stuff, of course, because we haven’t got paper to take on any new people now—but it’s the future years that we are talking about!
7. All kinds of new avenues of distribution for books are pending. Independent news dealers throughout the country have had such phenomenal success with Pocket Books that they are dying to get into higher price brackets. We’ve already made a few contacts that may prove invaluable later on.
8. We have just signed all the necessary papers for the launching of Random House of Canada. It is my hunch that this new setup will multiply the business that Macmillan was able to do for us up there ten times over.
I hope that all the above will satisfy you as to the future possibilities of our business. The beautiful part about it all is that the setup can remain a simple one, right under our own control, and with no possibility, in my opinion, of ever developing into a sprawling and unmanageable menagerie like the Doubleday outfit. You know that I share your abhorrence for impersonal “big business.” I don’t think Random House will ever get into that category.
Now let’s get on to the part that you play in all of this. I honestly don’t think that a worry of this sort would possibly have entered that fool head of yours if you hadn’t been mentally upset by your long absence from everything you love best and the unholy strain imposed upon you by your present activities. You are part of the very fibre and bloodstream of Random House, you blithering idiot, and the fact that you are not here now hasn’t altered that fact in the slightest degree. I assure you that not one day goes by but what at least three people groan “things will be different when that bastard Klopfer gets back here.” Everybody has been doing the best that they can, but the strain has told on all of us and the day you come back you will find more stuff dumped into your lap than you can possibly handle. You may consider this an ironclad promise. If you will stop to reason coldly and calmly for a minute, you will see for yourself that if even half of the above plans come to fruition, the amount of planning, management and development will be simply enormous. Bob Haas has done a superb job with the manufacturing under most difficult circumstances, but I think he will tell you himself that the happiest day of his life will be when he can wrap the whole manufacturing problem in pink ribbon, tie a bunny on top, and throw it back to you.
I could go on in this fashion for ten more pages, but I hope that by this time even you will begin to realize how unutterably ridiculous your worries on this score have been.
As far as our immediate problems are concerned, you will have to get used to the idea of our inventory figures slipping downward. In the first place, every day finds more binding restrictions being placed on the amount of inventory that any firm is allowed to carry. In the second place, books go flying out on the day that they arrive from the bindery, so that it would be almost impossible to maintain any decent sort of inventory even if we were allowed to. We could very easily use our entire year’s allotment of paper on Modern Library alone without printing one single Random House book. That will give you some notion of what we are up against. Fortunately, every other publisher in the country finds himself in precisely the same situation and not even the most unreasonable bookseller in the country (Mr. Kroch, for instance) dreams of grousing any more. They take what we give them and actually say thank you.
One l
ast thing. You talk about being flat broke at the end of the war. My dear Klopfer, that is just a laugh. Despite the taxes and high costs and all kinds of other worries, this business has gotten into such shape that it is virtually impregnable. If you haven’t got a nickel in the world outside of your share in Random House when the war is over, you will still be a very, very rich man. Furthermore, the rise in stock and bond values—which I believe will continue, with occasional interruptions—means that your mother’s bankroll, Sam Goldsmith’s bankroll, and most important of all to you, Pat’s holdings, have increased enormously in value. In short, as the managing editor said to the escaped murderer when he had him sealed in a roll-top desk in THE FRONT PAGE, you’re sitting pretty.
I am asking the notoriously undependable Jezebel to make three carbon copies of this letter. The four letters will be mailed at intervals of two days, so that one of them is almost certain to reach you. I simply cannot understand what’s happened to all the other letters, books and catalogues that we have sent you. I am also sending you four Spring lists in separate envelopes. One of them must reach you. As for books, we will simply have to go on sending them and pray that an occasional one will reach you. Anyhow, think of what fun you’ll have when you come home seeing a hundred or so Random House books you never set eyes on before. (Silver lining department!)
With my deepest love,
As ever,
Bennett
April 1, 1944
Dear Bennett—
April Fool’s Day and I’m listening to the German propaganda broadcast from Calais I, Nuremberg etc. They have by far the best musical programs on the air around here so everyone listens. This was no fool’s day for us.
COPY CENSORED FROM LETTER BY TAPE
That’s the first bad day we’ve had since Feb. 24th so I don’t suppose there’s much to complain of. But I hate to be shooting craps with these boys on one night and have them disappear the next day.
I keep the situation map of the Russian campaign in my own office and the gains of the past week have been fantastic. They are doing such a beautiful job. I only hope they force our hand into doing a first class one ourselves. I wonder where the Germans will be able to make a real stand. They’ve done a bit of expert withdrawing themselves, if the “captured” figures mean anything. When invasion does come I imagine we’ll be running two missions a day instead of our one a day program now. That will keep up the averages for Gen. Doolittle and will manage to keep us busy too!
I suppose by this time Linscott has fitted into the picture so damned well that it’s as tho’ he’d been there a lifetime. I’m really happy about Bob being there and I know that he’ll do a real job for us with the sort of book that we’re interested in publishing. When I saw Harold in London last month he was whining about the possibility of the Fowler book running away. He said publishers really didn’t want best sellers now. What a predicament.
Love,
Donald
April 13–44
Dear Bennett:
An exciting day around here—our first original crew finished its tour of duty to-day—30 missions in four months of operation and they’re now off combat status. They came back from Munich this afternoon and we were in the tower to sweat them out. They broke away from the formations and buzzed the tower—and I mean within ten feet of it in that big, clumsy plane shooting all the flares that were left in the plane, red, green, yellow, white—we fired rockets, flares, the big cannon and everything else around the place. The CO then brought the crew up here, gave them drinks and gave them all the DFC. Everybody was mighty happy—it could be done, altho’ we have mighty few of our original outfit left to do it. Thirty missions in the big leagues is pretty hard to accomplish because the Germans still have plenty left. We lost two to-day, five yesterday and if it had been this crew I think our morale would have been shot to hell. As it is we forget the losses and point to the one who got thru’ safely.
Last night we had R.H. Mottsan, remember the Spanish Farm Trilogy, up here with a lady psychiatrist, a school master and yours truly for an informal quiz program. One for the enlisted men and later in the evening for the officers. The audience asked any questions and we tried to answer. It was good fun and I must admit I was not too sharp as I hadn’t been to bed at all the night before—briefed once at 5 AM and had the target changed so that I rebriefed at 830 for a ten o’clock takeoff. That was really rough but we got away with it. So you see time does not hang too heavy on our heads over here. I think the pace will be accelerated still further in the near future, altho’ we have gone daily for the past six days.
Your long letter of March 21st was a joy to receive. I got all four copies of that letter in the same mail so you can see how regular everything is. I’m really not concerned in the future of Random House as a money making institution. I am a little concerned in it as a publishing house as you and I think of a publishing house. I have such a horror of the Doubleday type of thing that our volume really scares me a little. We don’t want to be Simon and Schuster’s! I hope to Christ you’re right about the extended ML market after the war and I think that making plates for the ML and Illustrateds is just about the best thing that we can do. The Lifetime is a dream and the more we can extend that the better off we are. Please send me the Aquinas when ready using this letter as a direct request which will enable you to send it to me without question. I have gotten the Reynolds and Mary Fisher and the four illustrateds that Pat mailed to me. In all things I think that Linscott will be a great asset to the firm. He knows a good book when he reads one, and don’t you bully him with the crap that you let yourself in for, such as “Four Whores in a Brothel” or whatever that one is. The Burton is a sound idea—and the 25¢ juveniles are really a contribution—that’s a sound idea. But don’t count on those toy boys too much. They like novelties and books do not have the novelty appeal. Present enthusiasm won’t last when gadgets can be made again. Please don’t let the damned thing get so big that we can’t run it ourselves and get some fun out of it and still think we’re contributing a little something to the future of America. Sounds mighty pompous, but I like to kid myself that we can contribute something if we’re intelligent about it.
Thanks for your kind words about the place I’ll occupy. Remember these when I return. I hope you’re right, but I’m not so damned sure that Ray can’t do as good a job—by this time he ought to be good or you ought to have fired him. When I was last there I didn’t know which would happen! I hope you’re right about R.H. being in excellent shape from now on. It’s hard to figure from the statements because I never know what is owed in income tax and I guess that’s the most important single item now. Your remarks about the market as well as R.H. futures have a sound faintly reminiscent of 1929, altho’ I think you’re right. Of one thing I am reasonably sure. R.H. had better be a gold mine because I doubt if I’ll have anything outside of that!
Heard from Marian that she’s finally decided to split with Henry. I think that makes sense—what the hell, if she didn’t have any fun with him why go on. Eight years seems to be about her limit. Damn, I’m afraid that gal is doomed to perpetual unhappiness. And I hear that my daughter is really beginning to grow up. It’s hard to believe that she’s evidently going to a French camp in Vermont this summer. I suppose Chris is jabbering away at a great rate now and probably is completely captivating. Wait until he gets some brains—they’re wonderful then.
Come Christmas, Cerf, and you can cable me our bet about my being back at R.H. Unless this invasion hurries up and is more successful than we can hope for I’m not even sure that the European war will be over this year. I’ll be in the ETO six months in three days. It seems like a lifetime.
Give my love to both Bobs and Saxe, Lew, Pauline, Louise and all the people I’d like to be with right now. Here’s hoping that all you say is true and that I’m just a damned pessimist! I do appreciate your letter and all that it implies. You know full well how very much you mean to me. I haven’t many close friends!
Love,
Donald
April 14, 1944
Dear Donald:
Your letter of April 1st arrived with a great big hole cut out of the middle. This is the first letter of yours to this office that has ever been censored. I guess you got a little bit too explicit about what was going on in your neck of the woods, but you and the censors may be assured that all of us here have very good imaginations.
Good news continues to be available in bunches as far as Random House is concerned. In the first place, Washington has approved our transferring of the Illustrated Modern Library in toto to the A. S. Barnes Company for the duration. We’ll get a royalty on every copy they sell and, furthermore, we’ll get the whole thing handed right back to us as soon as the war is over. Aside from the royalty that we’ll get, which will amount this year to somewhere in the neighborhood of $20,000.00, this means that we will be able to cash in immediately on the wonderful reception the first books got and not have too long a lapse go by before the second lot is available. From the continuity point of view, this is most important. In the second place, Harry Scherman and Merry Wood were so delighted with the looks of the Illustrated Poe that they bought it for their next dividend. This means that we’ll simply blow up the pictures and the text page and make a regular Random House trade book out of it for a couple of years before we shoot into the Modernlibe. I wouldn’t be surprised if we made almost enough on this one dividend to pay the entire plate cost of the first five Illustrated Modernlibes. The rich get richer!
There may be one more stray piece of news next week. The People’s Book Club, which has now grown to some 160,000 a month, is teetering on the brink of taking Samuel Hopkins Adams’ CANAL TOWN. Even without them, this book will have a 15,000 advance. If they do take it, I am afraid we’ve got another real best seller on our hands which will give Haas a few more sleepless nights!
