“Allie, why did you leave without saying goodbye?”
I bit my lip, still guilty about it after all this time. “My mind was made up. And I didn’t want anyone trying to stop me, I guess.” I had been pouring my heart out to Ruby after another exhausting day and she had been the one who suggested I go for it, in fact, but I didn’t think Beau needed to know that.
I remember being shocked at the suggestion. Leave the Pack? Leave Gram? But Ruby had pushed me, reminding me of all the little ways people were mean to me, and in the end, I had gathered up a backpack full of stuff and run for it after Gram had gone to sleep. I’d hiked out to the nearest highway and got in the first car that stopped, feeling like I had to keep going. But nobody had come after me. It took me a while, but I realized that they were probably glad I was gone.
Beau had watched me quietly, but now he shook his head. “I get it. It must have been so hard for you. I just wish… we were all so worried. The Priestess was frantic.”
I winced. Knowing I had caused Gram pain still hurt, even now. “I sent her a card as soon as I could,” I said, knowing it was a lame excuse. “Honestly, I feel terrible about it, but I felt like I was trapped. All I can do is go and beg her forgiveness. And yours,” I added, looking over to him. His eyes were the same as I remembered, a beautiful deep green.
“Oh, I forgave you a long time ago,” Beau said, but his smile had a sadness to it. “I thought about you a lot, you know? Wondering what you were doing, if you were finally happy. I hoped you were.”
I started to give some casual answer, but I had to pause. Had I been happy? I had a good friend in Sarah, better than I probably deserved. But I hadn’t really accomplished anything I had dreamed of.
“What did you do in the human city, anyway?” Beau asked, maybe sensing my discomfort.
“I was a bartender.”
“Did you like it?”
I shrugged. “It paid the bills. I wanted to be a teacher, actually, but apparently humans have issues with a werewolf teaching their children. Old prejudices die hard.”
Beau shook his head. “That’s ridiculous. What if you just didn’t mention it? You’re only half-wolf, after all.”
“The humans would have done an investigation into my background. There are ways to get around the test, but I was tired of lying, you know?”
“Well, you don’t have to lie anymore. Not with me. Or with Mal or Jasper.”
I glanced over at the black wolf that walked silently beside me. He and Mal were strangers to me, and I was supposed to trust them just because they were Pack?
But then, what choice did I have?
* * *
The campsite Mal had found was a small clearing. I could hear the sound of running water from close by, so I left to go fill up my water bottles and give the men some privacy to put their clothes back on.
Being half-wolf had some advantages: my immune system, for one. I didn’t need to bother with sterilizing the water. The spring was icy-cold and sweet, and I drank gratefully before splashing some on my face. Despite the cool fall day, the trek had been long, but the water was definitely refreshing.
I eased my boots off and slid my feet into the chilly stream. I couldn’t help but sigh in delight as the water cooled the burning blisters on my feet. I knew they would heal in an hour or so, thanks again to my half-wolf blood. No real harm done. Just a little sting to my pride.
It was strangely peaceful here, with the only sound the soft whisper of pines and the trickle of the water. The sun had just set, casting the forest in a soft violet glow. I realized how much I had missed being out in the woods. It felt like coming home.
The campsite was a few yards away, and I could hear the men talking from where I sat, but not enough to understand what they were saying. My guards, they’d called themselves. What did that mean, anyway? That they were obligated to stay with me? If Jasper and Mal were any indications, they weren’t obligated to like me. But I still had the sense that they would protect me if necessary, no matter how they felt about me personally, and that was strangely comforting.
Something tapped me lightly on the shoulder, and I jumped, my heart pounding. Jasper stood above me. He had approached in total silence, I realized: not even a twig had snapped under his boots.
“You scared me,” I said. “Is something wrong?”
He regarded me with those golden eyes and shook his head just slightly.
“What, then?” I tried to sound tough, but I wasn’t fooling anyone. Especially not Jasper. There was a long silence as he looked at me, and I managed to hold his gaze. My heart beat a little faster as we stared at each other in the darkening forest.
“You did well today,” he said finally, so quietly I was sure I had misunderstood him.
“What?”
He glanced down at my feet. “You did not complain. I was surprised.”
I must have made a face at him because he actually smiled slightly. “Pleasantly surprised,” he added.
I wasn’t sure which shocked me more: the admission that I’d done something somewhat ok or that he sort of smiled. I noticed for the first time that he had a softness to his lips, a contrast to the sharp cheekbones and angular jaw.
“Thank you,” I said.
He nodded once and then turned and headed back toward camp. I watched him go, still unsure if that had really happened. Maybe he was human after all.
Well, not human. But not the strange warrior robot he seemed at first glance.
My toes were beginning to go numb with the cold water, so I got up and headed back to the campsite. A little fire was crackling in a ring of stones, and Jasper was turning a trio of rabbits on a spit. The smell of roasting meat made my mouth water. A few more rabbits sat in a neat pile, ready for cooking.
Beyond the fire, Beau and Mal were setting up my little tent. Or attempting to, anyway.
“It goes in that spot, there!” Mal wrestled with the springy tent pole.
“Are you sure? The instructions said it goes over here.”
“Fuck the instructions, they’re wrong.”
“The instructions written by the people who made the tent are wrong?” Beau asked, glaring at Mal.
I had to laugh, and both men glanced over at me. “If you’re so smart, you do it,” Mal said.
I walked over and took the pole from him, guiding it into the flap where it belonged. The tent popped into shape.
Mal looked at the tent, then grinned at me. “Well, looks like you are so smart, Princess.” He glanced over at the fire. “How are the bunnies coming?”
Jasper leaned close to inspect the rabbits, then nodded. “Let’s eat,” he said.
The meat was hot and delicious, and I dug in with my hands, savoring the smoky flavor. It had been a long time since I’d had rabbit, but it had been one of my favorites as a kid.
Mal grinned at me across the fire. “You sure don’t eat like a princess,” he said, but his tone was teasing.
“A princess can eat however she likes,” I retorted, and he laughed, the sound echoing off the pines.
After we’d eaten, I found my eyes growing heavy. A full belly and a long hike will do that. “I think I’m going to turn in,” I said.
Jasper nodded. “I’ll take first watch. Mal, you’re second. Beau third.”
I had unzipped the flap and was about to climb in when Beau spoke up. “You want some company?”
I looked at him, certain he was joking. But no, he looked perfectly serious. My heart skipped a beat. Did I? Well, if nothing else I wanted to hear a little more about Gram and the people back home. “All right,” I said.
Mal smirked, and he didn’t have to say anything for me to know what he was thinking. Well, he could think whatever he wanted.
Jasper was crunching a rabbit bone, and he was back to his usual unreadable expression, but I could swear I saw a flash of irritation. Well, he could think whatever he wanted, too. I climbed into the tent and lay down on the little sleeping bag.
It was
a one-person tent, since I had assumed the men would sleep outside in their wolf forms. Still, there was room for two if we lay close. He climbed in next to me and zipped the tent closed before lying down, his head pillowed on his arm, facing me. “You survived the first day,” he said, with a teasing smile.
“Barely. Those boots about did me in,” I said, smiling back. Being this close to him was bringing up some memories, things I had forgotten. His scent was strong in the small space: fresh air and green leaves. Beau had always smelled like spring to me. In the dim light of the tent, I glanced at his lips, the curve of his smile. I knew they were as soft and inviting as they looked. Beau was the one who had given me my first kiss.
* * *
We were sixteen, so about two years before I ran for it. Beau and I had hung out since we were children, but things had started to feel different between us. We never wrestled anymore, and I would catch him looking at me whenever I turned around. It never bothered me, though. It was nice to feel seen, to have someone to spend time with.
It was a full-moon night, which meant the Pack would be out hunting in the woods together. I wasn’t welcome, being a half-breed, but that meant I could keep the secret of not being able to shift, so that was fine by me.
To cheer me up, Beau had asked me to spend the day out in the woods. As the sun was beginning to sink behind the trees, he insisted on seeing me to Gram’s door before going off to prepare for the run.
“We’ll miss you tonight,” he had said.
“You’ll be the only one,” I had shot back. “Nobody else will even notice I’m not there.”
“Well, then I’ll miss you, Allie,” he had said.
I looked at him, startled by his words. I’d always looked at him as a good friend, really one of my only friends besides Ruby and Gram, but the warmth in his eyes was new.
And before I knew it, he had brushed a strand of hair off my cheek, leaned in, and kissed me.
It probably only lasted for half a second, maybe less. But it seemed like the world stopped, narrowed down to the soft brush of his lips and the warmth of his hand on my shoulder and the electric warmth that shot through me. The feeling of belonging, that someone cared, was so strong it almost overwhelmed me.
And then he had smiled and left. And we’d never spoken of it again.
* * *
I could feel my face heating up at the memory and hoped he wouldn’t see in the dim light. “What are you thinking?” he asked, the low pitch of his voice sending a shiver through me.
I couldn’t tell him that I was thinking about him. “That it’s nice to be out in the woods again. And not have to hide so much.”
He nodded. “Wolves don’t do well alone,” he said thoughtfully. “We belong with our Pack.”
He didn’t have to tell me that. All the loneliness of the last few years had taught me that very well. “And if your Pack doesn’t accept you? What do you do then?” I’d meant it to be a teasing response, but I couldn’t keep the bitterness out of my voice.
He sighed softly. “Some wolves don’t understand what it means to be Pack,” he said. “They’re too caught up in superstition and blindly following orders. Edie encouraged that,” he added, frowning.
“You didn’t like her, did you?”
“She enjoyed being Queen because of the power it brought her. And she liked using that power for her own ends instead of the good of the Pack.”
“Gram mentioned that once or twice,” I said, remembering.
Beau looked intrigued. “Did she?”
“Well, not in so many words,” I said. “She was loyal, and she was careful to only be supportive in public. But when it was just the two of us, she would sometimes say that Edie should remember her duty was to be a guide and servant to the needs of the Pack, not just a ruler.”
“Your grandmother is a smart lady,” Beau said, smiling. “She was so excited to hear that you were coming home.”
“I can’t wait to see her,” I said. “Even if I can’t stay.”
Beau’s smile faded just slightly. “Allie,” he said. “Would you at least think about it?”
“About what?”
“Staying. Being Queen.”
“You know that would never work,” I said. “There’s no way. Not only am I a half-breed, but I abandoned the Pack. Who in their right mind would follow me?”
“Well,” he said, reaching out and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I would.” He barely touched me, but that light brush of his fingertips, just like before, zipped along my nerves like electricity through a wire.
“You and me against the rest of the Pack? That will go over well.” I tried to keep my voice even, but he was affecting me more than I expected.
“Jasper and Mal like you too,” he said.
“Yeah, I can tell by their kind words and affectionate behavior,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Trust me, if they didn’t like you, you’d know it,” he said. “Once you get to know them a little better, you’ll see.”
I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, but the memory of Jasper’s visit at the stream earlier made me wonder if it could be true. “Well, we’ll all have plenty of quality time together for that,” I said, keeping my tone light.
He smiled. “Very true.” He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. “Sweet dreams, Allie. And please, think about what I said?”
I made a show of climbing into my sleeping bag to hide the smile on my face. “Ok,” I said. Beau settled down so that we were back to back, and his warm weight was comforting as I fell into an exhausted sleep.
* * *
That night, I dreamed of shadows in the trees, following us, hunting us. Pink and white petals fell around me like oversized snow. Magnolia petals, I realized, like the flowers from the grove at home. I felt bodies pressing up against me, warm and solid, heard my own ragged gasp as pleasure overtook me. I saw a slash of crimson, dark fur opening, blood falling like liquid rubies. And I saw a woman with long pale hair, her hand out, reaching for me. She was beautiful, but her eyes were so sad. When I tried to touch her hand, she dissolved into a silver liquid. It surrounded me, choking me, cutting off my air.
I woke up gasping, and Beau was leaning over me, looking worried. “Allie, are you ok?”
“Bad dreams,” I managed, swallowing hard.
He smoothed my hair. “It’s ok,” he said. “Everything’s fine. Go back to sleep.”
My heart was pounding, but I made myself lay back down and pretend to rest. After a few minutes, I could hear Beau’s soft breathing, and it soothed me, but I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping any more that night.
Because my dreams had a bad habit of coming true.
7
Jasper
I was sure I would be carrying both Allie and her ridiculous backpack by the end of the first hour, but she was tougher than she looked. She would have to be, with those soft curves and dark wavy hair. I could tell she was in pain by the uneven way she walked and the tension in her shoulders and jaw, but she didn’t complain once.
I’m not sure what made me go talk to her at the stream. My father always said it was just as important to let your subordinates know when they had done right as when they had done wrong, so maybe that was the reason.
She had looked so shocked, which amused me. I can’t say I blame her. I haven’t exactly been the friendliest since we met. But being friends with the people you’re trying to protect doesn’t really get you anywhere.
The campfire was burning low, the orange embers giving way to shadows all around. I didn’t mind. I could see in the dark just as well without it.
Beside me, Mal stirred fitfully in his sleep, the copper fur of his coat rising and falling as he slept. I knew I should wake him soon to take the second watch, but I wasn’t tired. I glanced at the tent, but it was silent now, no movement or voices inside. If I listened carefully, I could hear Alyssa and Beau’s soft breathing. It was slow and regular, which meant they were asleep.
> As far as I could tell, they just talked. Not that I would care if they had fucked. Well, not on a personal level. Anything that compromised the mission would be unfortunate, but talking was fine. I had seen the way Beau looked at her, so it wasn’t a surprise. I’d even caught Mal’s eyes lingering a moment too long, but that wasn’t a surprise either. Hell, I was surprised he hadn’t propositioned her yet: he was famous for chasing anything female. But he’d been oddly polite ever since we met her. Strange.
I poked at the fire with a long stick, sending a shower of embers up toward the stars. We were all acting strange, truth be told. And there was no other explanation beyond her.
Well, it wouldn’t last much longer. A few more days in the woods, a night in Silver Grove, and then we would escort her back to the big stinky city to resume her fake-human life. And that was proper, that was how things should be.
Wasn’t it?
The ritual was the only thing that nagged at me. I knew the Priestess was Alyssa’s grandmother, but I also knew she would never corrupt the ritual for selfish reasons. So that meant that the Goddess Herself had chosen Alyssa to rule us. Should she be throwing that gift away so easily? More importantly, should we?
I made up my mind that I would watch her as we traveled, look for signs that she might be the true Queen. And if she was, I would do everything in my power to convince her to stay. After Edie, we needed a Queen who could do what was needed.
And if she wasn’t worthy, I would do my duty and never think of her again.
It was a comforting lie, and I leaned back against a tree, my eyes scanning the dark woods.
8
Allie
I must have finally dozed off again because when I opened my eyes, the light filtering through the tent was faint and grey. Still early. I realized Beau was cuddled up against me, his arm thrown over my waist. He was still asleep, judging by his regular breathing, so he must have gravitated toward me in the night. His muscular chest pressed against my back, which was strangely comforting. And I realized with a little shock that I could feel something else pressing against me through the sleeping bag between us.
Princess of Wolves: A Reverse Harem Romance Page 4
