“I do. I’m just… not sure I deserve them,” I confessed.
She raised an eyebrow at me. “Deserve? Nobody gave them to you, Allie. They chose to be with you. And they wouldn’t choose just anyone. You’ve proven yourself to them.”
“But can I win over the rest of the Pack?”
She tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Your men believe you can. The question is, do you believe in you?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “You never would give me a straight answer, Gram.”
She bent and kissed my forehead, then let go of my hand. “I need to go now, Allie. Trust in yourself. The rest will follow.” She turned to look at the dark line of trees, and a sudden flicker of fear gripped my heart.
“Go? Where are you going, Gram?”
A movement at the tree line caught my eye. A woman was standing there. A woman with long, blonde hair. Cassie. She smiled at me, but she held out her hand, beckoning Gram to join her.
Horror raced through me as I realized what it meant. “No!”
I sat up, the word bursting from my strangled throat. Around me, my men were instantly awake.
“Another dream?” Beau asked, his eyes wide with concern.
My heart beat so fast it felt like it would pound right out of my chest. “We need to get to Silver Grove,” I said. “And we need to leave now.”
17
Allie
“What’s wrong?” Mal asked, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.
“In my dream, I saw Gram. And she was…” I couldn’t even say it. I tried to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat, but it felt like iron.
“Is she hurt?” Beau asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I don’t know what it means. It might be nothing. I just need to get to her.” I didn’t dare say what I feared out loud. If I said it, it might make it true. Better to hope it was just a regular dream, just my brain being random. Because if it was true, and Gram was dying… the idea hurt too much to even consider right now.
Jasper got to his feet. I glanced at his side and was relieved to see his wound had closed as we slept. The healing skin was still pink and shiny, but it meant he would be ok to travel. “It’s not far,” he said. “We can probably make it by this evening if we leave now.”
I nodded, forcing myself to take a deep breath. My heart was thudding in my chest, making me lightheaded. Beau brought me my clothes, and I dressed with mechanical motions.
Mal and Jasper started to put away the tent, but I shook my head. “Leave it,” I said. “We need to go.”
“We can start walking, Allie,” Beau said. “They can finish packing up and then catch up to us.”
Jasper nodded. “Go ahead.”
I threw on my backpack and we set off. Beau offered me his hand, and I gladly took it, taking comfort from the warm strength of his grip.
“It’s not far,” Beau said. “We’ll get to her soon. And she has the whole Pack there to protect her, don’t forget.”
I gave him what little smile I could manage. “I know. It might be nothing. I hope it’s nothing.” But a little voice inside me wouldn’t stop whispering to hurry, hurry.
When I glanced over at Beau, he looked thoughtful, preoccupied. “Is something wrong?” I asked.
“Do you usually see the future in your dreams, Allie? Or the past?”
I had to think. “The future, usually. Gram told me that only the most powerful Seers can see both, and it’s rare.”
“Well, then if she is in trouble then it might not have happened yet. We might be able to prevent it,” he said.
I knew he was trying to cheer me up, so I didn’t mention that it seems I could also speak to the dead in my dreams. Then again, maybe he was right. Maybe it was something that could be prevented. Either way, it made me want to run through the trees, but I forced myself to just keep up a fast walk. There was no sense in exhausting myself.
Mal and Jasper caught up to us after about twenty minutes. Mal was wolf-formed, and Jasper wore the other pack with the tent and the rest of our supplies. He handed Beau and I some dried venison. I tried to refuse it, but Jasper gave me a look.
“Eat,” he ordered, but his tone was strangely gentle. “We’ll make better time if you’re not weak with hunger.” I made myself chew mechanically, but I couldn’t taste it: I might as well have been eating leather.
We walked in silence for hours. Jasper didn’t send anyone ahead to scout today, so they all stayed close. I was grateful for their presence, solid and reassuring. The men seemed to sense that I didn’t want to talk, and I loved them for respecting that and not questioning me. But it meant that my brain was constantly in a whirl of worst case scenarios.
I tried not to think of her, but my thoughts were all of Gram. She was the only family I had ever known, but she had made me feel loved, taught me all I knew. How could I have left her? I had wanted to escape, to do some good in the world, but instead I abandoned the one person who showed me what goodness was. Sudden tears stung my eyes, and I had to stop as the trees blurred silver. What had I done?
Instantly, they were around me, their strong bodies like a wall between me and the rest of the world. Beau and Jasper enfolded me in a double-hug, and Mal pressed against my side, warm and furry. I couldn’t stop my tears, and I would normally be embarrassed to be showing such weakness, but I didn’t feel any judgment from them. Just love, and it gave me strength. After what seemed like an hour, I was able to force myself to take deeper breaths and dry the flood of tears.
“Thank you,” I murmured finally. “I needed that.”
Beau reached out and stroked my hair. “We’re here for you, Allie. No matter what you choose. I hope you know that.”
Jasper nodded in agreement. “You are our Queen,” he said. “Whatever happens.”
Mal nodded, his pale blue eyes finding mine as his tail thumped behind him.
I felt a surge of warmth. I could feel the honesty behind their words and see the love in their eyes. But with it came a little twinge of guilt. “I know you’ve all been wanting an answer from me,” I said. “I’m sorry for keeping you in suspense.”
Jasper shook his head. “It can wait.”
“The moon isn’t full yet,” Beau said. “Our priority now is to get you home to your grandmother as soon as possible. We can worry about the rest later.”
“I love you all,” I said, and although it surprised me I meant every word. Their strength, their sweetness, their patience, their loyalty. Everything about them.
“We love you too,” Beau said, giving me one last gentle squeeze.
Jasper bent and kissed my cheek. “It’s not far now,” he said. “Come on.”
I swallowed hard, swiped at my tears, and nodded. As we started off down the path, a realization hit me. For the first time in my adult life, I didn’t feel alone.
I had Sarah, at home, who loved me even after I’d hidden my true self. And I had my guards, who loved me even though I was only half wolf, couldn’t shift, and had crazy dreams.
Maybe opening myself up to people wasn’t a bad thing after all.
A branch snapped in the woods, and we all instinctively spun around to find the source of the noise.
Two wolves emerged from the forest. My guards had been tense, but they all relaxed when they saw them more clearly. “It’s ok,” Beau said. “They’re Pack. Emily and Moore. They’re Guardians, like Jasper.”
Jasper stepped forward. “Report,” he ordered, all business now.
The female, Emily, shifted. In human form, she was in her thirties, with close-cropped sandy hair and a no-nonsense look. “Sir,” she said, snapping to attention. “We were sent to watch for your return and to escort you back to Silver Grove.”
I couldn’t hold back. “My grandmother,” I burst out. “The Priestess, I mean. Is she ok?”
Emily looked at me as if she was surprised I could speak. “How did you know?”
My heart dropped like an elevator with the cable c
ut.
“What do you mean?” Jasper barked. “Out with it!”
Emily jumped. “She’s in a coma,” she said quickly. “Since yesterday. I’m sorry.”
18
Mal
Allie went sheet-white, and instinctively the four of us moved closer to her, ready to catch her if she fainted. Since I was still wolf-formed, the best I could do would be to provide her a soft surface to fall on, but I was more than willing. Instead, she swallowed hard and then took a deep breath, as if to compose herself. “What happened?” she finally asked, her voice shaking but clear.
Despite the horror of the situation, I felt a surge of admiration. She was tough, this half-wolf girl. Tougher than anyone knew, except maybe the three of us. The Pack would see that, surely. We would make them see.
Emily shook her head. “Nobody knows. Ruby went in to see her this morning and she was lying on the floor. Breathing, but barely. We’ve had someone watching her ever since then.”
“You will address the Princess properly,” Jasper said, his voice a low growl.
Emily’s cheeks reddened. “Forgive me, my lady,” she said, looking to Allie and ducking her head slightly in a nervous bow.
My knee-jerk reaction was to be annoyed. Only Jasper would think of fucking titles and etiquette at a time like this. But then it hit me: he wanted everyone to see her for what she was, our Princess and maybe future Queen, even in the midst of a crisis. I couldn’t laugh in wolf form, but I found myself shaking my head in silent amusement. Only Jasper. We all had our own strange ways of showing our love, didn’t we?
“It’s ok,” Allie said gently, touching his shoulder. “We have more important things to worry about. I need to get back as soon as possible.”
Jasper nodded. “You two go back to Silver Grove and alert the Pack that we’re coming. If anything changes with the Priestess, send word to us at once.”
Emily snapped a smart salute to Jasper, then glanced at Allie and gave another little bow. “Our prayers go with her, my lady,” she said.
Allie’s eyes shone with tears, but she smiled. “Thank you. I appreciate your letting me know.”
Emily shifted back into wolf form, then she and Moore shot off through the trees in the direction of Silver Grove.
Although I knew we were getting close to the whole point of our little journey, I couldn’t shake the heaviness that was stealing over me. The logical part of me knew that bringing Allie back to Silver Grove safely was the whole reason why I was here in the first place.
Unluckily for me, nobody told my heart that, and it was screaming that we had to hold on and not let her get away. I knew it was pure selfishness on my part, but I didn’t give a damn. I knew what I wanted, and I wanted her. I didn’t even have to speak to Jasper and Beau to know they felt the same. I could see it in their eyes when they looked at her.
It was more than just love, though. She was made to be our Queen. I could see that now. And maybe once she got back to Silver Grove and let the Pack get to know her again, they would see that too. How could they not? Especially compared to Edie, and what she put us through with her selfishness.
My quick flash of optimism was cut short by a realization as we got closer and closer to our original goal. Now we were going to have to share her with the rest of the Pack. Now we were going to have to give her space to make her choice.
And, worst of all, now we would have to prepare to maybe lose her forever.
19
Allie
As we drew closer to Silver Grove, I was surprised to find a lump growing in my throat. I hadn’t been gone for very long in the grand scheme of things, but it felt like a thousand years had passed. But everything was familiar like I had only been gone for a day.
As we entered Pack territory, we passed by the Grove itself. The circle of ancient magnolia trees was the namesake of our Pack and our place to gather for rituals. Gram once told me our ancestors settled here because the Grove was so obviously favored by the Goddess, and I have to agree. When you step inside that circle, you can feel the magic. I didn’t feel ready to enter just yet, but I paused at the edge of the trees, and my guards drew to a halt around me. We were all silent, the only sound the soft rustle of the leaves.
I reached out and placed my hand on the trunk of the closest tree, feeling the subtle hum of power like the faintest whisper. It was a good energy, grounding and steady, and I drew strength from it as I gazed into the circle.
The Grove. Even in the city, I had seen this place in my dreams. The trees were here before the first Pack members had settled, and I was sure they would remain long after we had all returned to the earth. It was a strangely comforting thought.
The magnolias weren’t in bloom now, but the trees were still lush and pretty with their silvery bark and shiny leaves. In late spring, they would be truly spectacular, the showy white flowers covering the branches like a snowfall and perfuming the air with heady sweetness.
My eyes fell on the stone altar in the center of the circle, standing empty and alone. How often had I seen Gram standing behind it, her face tilted up to the moon’s light, leading us all in celebration? The lump in my throat grew, and tears threatened to fill my eyes, but I stubbornly blinked them away. This was no time for crying. She would live. She was too strong, too good to be taken from us. And she was waiting for me.
I hurried back to the path, my guards falling in step beside me, but I felt comforted knowing the Grove was still unchanged. The Goddess was near. She wouldn’t let Gram die.
The first cabins were coming into view, and I forced myself to take a deep breath, to focus on the details instead of my emotions. The air smelled of pine trees and smoke from wood-burning stoves. The scent of home. “How many Pack members live here now?” I asked, hoping to distract myself. I had to keep it together. If the Pack members saw me crying, they would take it as proof of weakness.
“Twenty,” Beau answered. “Soon to be twenty-one. Rose is pregnant.”
Twenty-one Pack members. Twenty-one wolves I had to win over. Twenty-one lives I would be responsible for if I became their Queen.
But first things first. I had to see Gram.
* * *
In our modern times, some werewolf Packs had moved to cities, where they lived alongside humans and other creatures. But the wolves of Silver Grove preferred to live in the wild as we had done in the old days, the better to be closer to the Goddess’ blessings. Of course, we had some modern comforts: running water, a few cars and motorcycles, some battery-operated gadgets. But for the most part, the Pack liked to live simply, unlike our city counterparts. We liked to be self-sufficient and keep to our own.
That didn’t mean that we didn’t associate with humans, of course. Some of the members worked out in the human world in nearby towns doing trade or labor, and members would occasionally venture out to purchase things we needed and couldn’t craft for ourselves. A necessary evil, according to the more… traditional members of our pack.
Because forming any kind of relationship with a human was strongly discouraged. They were inferior, after all, and nothing good could come of associating with them. Edie, in particular, used to point to my existence and my father’s forced exile as an example of the horrible things that happened when wolves and humans got too close.
Well, she was gone now. Maybe people’s viewpoints had changed. But I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Anyway, none of that mattered at this moment.
I turned to my guards. They had all been silent as we approached Silver Grove, and I wasn’t sure how to interpret that silence. Beau gave me a little smile, but Jasper just gazed at me, his golden eyes finding mine. Mal, wolf-formed, hovered at my side, so close he kept brushing against my leg. “I need to see Gram, and spend some time with her alone,” I said. My voice sounded strangely formal, but I didn’t know what else to do. Anyone might be watching.
Jasper nodded. “Of course. Go to her.”
“But if you need us, Allie, don’t hesitate to ask,” Be
au chimed in.
“I will,” I said, forcing myself to smile back at him. “Thank you. Thank you all, for getting me here safely.” There were so many more things I wanted to say, but they would have to wait. If I stayed, I knew I would get teary-eyed again, so I turned and left them standing there, forcing myself to not look back. It tore at my heart, but I managed, somehow.
We had walked through the night and it was still early, so the little paths that wound through the trees were deserted. But I could feel eyes on me as I walked toward Gram’s cabin, the cabin I had grown up in. Smoke was coming from the little chimney, and I wondered who was watching over her.
The little cobblestone path up to the front door led through Gram’s massive herb garden. She used them in her workings and remedies, and I used to love to play among the delicious-smelling leaves as a child. Even though the nights were growing chilly, the plants were still growing, one last burst of life before the dark of winter took them away.
As I approached the front door, it swung open, startling me. A blonde woman peered out, her face breaking into a wide grin. It was Ruby, I realized, unable to keep from smiling back at her. “Allie? Is it you?”
“It’s me,” I said, and she rushed forward to embrace me. I felt tears sting my eyes as she wrapped her arms around me.
“It’s so wonderful to see you,” she said, pulling back to look at me. She looked the same, and pretty as ever, with honey brown eyes and her golden hair worn long and curly.
“How is Gram?” I asked anxiously.
“Oh, I’m such an idiot, standing here like this,” Ruby said. “Come in. I’ve been sitting up with her all night.”
The cabin was as cozy as I remembered. Dried herbs hung in bunches from the rafters, and the scent of them brought me right back to childhood. The little wood burning stove was throwing off soothing warmth from the kitchen area in the corner, and the sitting area with its worn floral-patterned chairs was the same as always. Ruby led me down the narrow hallway to Gram’s room at the back of the house and eased the door open.
Princess of Wolves: A Reverse Harem Romance Page 10
