“Goodbye, Saradyn,” Natanial said. “You have enough water to make it back?”
“Always enough,” Saradyn said. “Just going to sit here for a while. I enjoy watching the sea in silence. Did you know, Natanial? The children have stopped screaming.”
Natanial hefted his pack and turned away from the ocean. He forged back up the beachhead and entered the cool, dark wood.
Taigan settled into the warm arms of a bonsa tree, near enough the coast to watch the Saiduan ships disappear over the horizon. Taigan snoozed there until the suns began to set, considering what came next. Taigan rubbed at her itching crotch; she’d gotten another yeast infection, which made urinating painful. It appeared Taigan would mostly present to the world with female sex organs and a downy beard that Taigan found most pleasing. Taigan had tried on ataisa pronouns for a few weeks while helping the others repair the ships, but found being “she” fit just fine, for however long Taigan lived in this newly rotting body.
Would she transform again? Who could say? But the wounds she had received in the slimy temple had scabbed over and healed slowly, as if she were some mundane body, just another anonymous refugee on Raisa, not special at all, not chosen.
She very much enjoyed being herself, belonging to herself, in a way that had never existed for her, not in the many centuries of memory that she could still recall.
“Fly, fly, little bird,” Taigan called to the suns, and, though she had succeeded in avoiding such thoughts in the weeks after the satellites winked out of the sky, Taigan thought of Lilia. She considered writing a memoir of this time. Perhaps she could call it: Pretty Little Cannibals: My Life Among the Dhai. That made her laugh out loud. A good laugh that shook her chest and made it ache.
Foolish Lilia, the ungifted worldshaper, the headstrong burnout, the child she had thrown off a cliff, but who had nontheless become the masterful architect of this new world.
A world without the satellites. A world without magic. Without immortality. A world where they had only themselves. Taigan thought it would be a duller world, but she had found that bleeding and coughing made the experience of being alive far more exciting than it ever had been for her before.
She could die now. Really die. If she chopped off someone’s limb, it would stay chopped off, forever. She had watched a man in the camp fall off the ship and break a leg a few days before, and the tirajista who ran to help him had a look of utter horror and confusion as she realized she could do nothing but set the bone and bind the leg. A new world. A broken world.
Taigan slid down the tree, scraping her hands as she did. She marveled again at the little flakes of skin, the small beads of blood. How extraordinary. The prick of pain, the warmth of the tree’s bark, the tangy smell of the sea: it all felt somehow more brilliant, more beautiful, knowing that any moment could be the last she experienced of anything.
Mortality. What a wonderful gift.
EPILOGUE
She lay in a field of heavy-headed poppies, staring at an empty lavender sky. Her body felt light, only a little painful. When she pressed her hand to the place where her wound had been, her tunic was still cut and crusted with blood, but there was no scar. The air was warm, like the last breath of low summer moving to high fall. The trees above her scattered a few heavy brown leaves, but were otherwise in their full splendor.
Her last memory of this life, in this world, it had been spring, heading into high summer. Where had all the weeks gone? She did not know. But that other one, the Kai… Ahkio, yes, he had woken missing weeks, too, hadn’t he? After going back in time, he leapt forward…
Memories skipped across her mind. She remembered bringing the worlds together. But she remembered many other lives as well. She was killed by Kirana as a child, plucked from her mother’s arms in the burning village. She died tumbling from a tree before she learned how to read. Taigan pushed her off the cliff, and it broke her, really broke her, and Gian did not save her. Gian, Gian… She had memories of so many Gians. The Gian who had escorted her away from Kalinda’s. The Gian with the maggot-infested leg, whom she had nursed back to health. The terrible Gian who worked with Kirana. Lilia had the memory of knowing that Gian too, of an arranged marriage they had both thought they would hate, but loving each other anyway. Of walking and running without her twisted foot, but tumbling anyway, pushed from the top of the ark by one of Gian’s rival generals.
And more, others, but no good endings, no death where they were two old women, drunk on too much hard tea and each other. Lilia’s memories were all of an early death, in every world.
It was why she was still trying to understand why she had woken up again in this one.
A cry came from nearby. She slowly rose, and gazed across the field of poppies. She should have known that her view from here would be of Oma’s Temple. Oma did have a sense of humor. Oma, or… whatever beast or creature had helped guide them.
The shrubbery parted, and Namia came racing through, standing entirely upright now, making a murmuring sound in her throat, and signing over and over, “Lilia!”
Namia grabbed hold of her, knocking her back over, and Lilia grunted, the breath squeezed from her. Namia released her and kept hold of her with one hand while signing frantically with the other, so fast Lilia could not keep up. Namia was taller, Lilia noticed, her face rounder, her gangly limbs more robust. Her hair had grown, and been expertly braided with ribbons in a very lovely style that reminded Lilia just a bit of Dorinah.
“Namia?”
Another figure came up the hill, pressing through the poppies, and Lilia knew the voice.
Gian halted when she caught sight of her. She, too, had filled out, and it gave her more softness than Lilia had seen in any of her memories. She had cut her dark hair short in the back and looped the rest up behind her into a topknot. She held a large walking stick in one hand and the lead of a large brown dog mount in the other. The dog moved its ears forward and gave a little yip.
Namia signed Lilia’s name again, this time in Gian’s direction.
“Yes, yes, I see her,” Gian said. She came forward slowly, parting the poppies. “We weren’t going to come up this way. It’s far off the path to Mount Ahya, but Namia insisted. I see why.”
Lilia said, “You look well.”
Gian laughed at that, and then Lilia laughed too, because it was a foolish way to start, after so much time, in so strange a place.
“How long has it been?” Lilia asked.
“When did you get here?”
“I… don’t know. I remember… all those lives… do you? And I remember the orrery. Did everyone live?”
“Everyone lived,” Gian said, “and they carried all of their other selves, too. I suppose, then, everyone, on every world, lived. Some more so than others. Not everyone liked what they remembered.”
“You remember me?”
“I remember all of the versions of you that you remember of me.”
Lilia felt her face warm, and pressed her hands against her cheeks. What a strange reaction. A foolish notion.
Gian laughed. “You just got even darker!” She sobered. “We thought you were dead. A lot of people simply… blinked out, like the stars. We have a theory those were the ones who hadn’t survived in most of their other lives. It’s a question that will keep philosophers busy for ages. Found new religions. Which we will need, of course.”
Lilia gazed again at the sky. “How long has it been?”
“A little more than a year.”
“A year… That’s so much time… more than…”
“You have no memory of this last year, in any life?”
“No.”
Gian nodded behind her, at the great hulking form of Mount Ahya. “That’s not so bad,” she said. “I settled all of my people in, and the Kai has been easy to work with.”
Lilia opened her mouth to ask who the Kai was, and then realized she didn’t want to know. She had never wanted to be involved in any of that; politics and games were a means to an en
d, to revenge. Now she felt… relief. But also an emptiness. What drove you on, after you put the world back together?
Gian said, “I’ve a mind to climb Mount Ahya. Did you want to come? I have a… memory of us doing that, in some… other life.”
“Mount Ahya? It touches the sky.”
“Indeed. I’d like to touch the sky again.”
Namia signed at Lilia, “Come.”
“What do you remember, Namia?” Lilia asked.
“Many things,” Namia signed. “All here.”
Lilia embraced Namia again. “I’m so sorry for everything.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Gian said, “you saved more of us than I ever thought possible.”
“What do you think it was?” Lilia asked Gian. “The satellites? What do you think they broke?”
“I think it was nothing we were supposed to understand. I think we meddled with something very old, far older than us, and misused it.”
“Do you think it’s been trying all this time, to put us back together?”
“I’m not a god, Lilia. Just a woman.”
Lilia struggled to her feet. Gian moved forward to help her. Lilia took her offered hand; warm and calloused, with long, lean fingers. Their gazes met. A tumble of memories. Gian would have them too. All those lives, all those deaths. They both should have winked out, if death was what destroyed the others, but here they were. Oma’s sense of humor.
“Maybe we’ll live this time,” Gian said.
“Everyone dies,” Lilia said, “it’s just a matter of choosing what you do between now and then.”
“Let’s climb mountains, then.”
They turned toward Mount Ahya, fingers entwined, heads no longer raised to the sky, but to each other.
GLOSSARY
Aaldia – Country on the southwestern shore of Grania, led by a conclave of three queens and two kings, each representing one of the five former independent states of the region.
Aaldians – The people of Aaldia, a country on the southwestern shore of Grania, known for their passion for mathematics.
Aaraduan – Far northeastern city in Saiduan, home to one of the infamous “living holds” of the western half of Raisa. Before the Saiduans, the city was called Roasandara, and was part of the ancient Dhai empire. The city was destroyed by the Tai Mora.
Aatai – Saiduan liquor.
Abas Morasorn – A Saiduan dancer at Kuonrada.
Adenoak – A type of yellowish hardwood tree commonly grown in Dhai.
Ahkio Javia Garika – Son of Javia Mia Sorai and Rishin Garin Badu. Li Kai. Brother to Kirana Javia Garika.
Ahmur – The largest of Raisa’s three moons.
Aimuda Mosifa Taosina – Elder Ora of the Temple of Tira. Masura’s cousin.
Alaar Masoth Taar – The Patron of Saiduan; eighth in the country’s current line of rulers. A tirajista.
Alais Sohra Garika – Birth mother to Yisaoh Alais Garika. Married Garika clan master, Tir, and Moarsa, and Gaila.
Alasu Carahin Sorila – A Kuallina militia member found dead in Clan Sorila.
Albaaric – A city in Saiduan on the coast. Home city of Maralah Daonia.
Alhina Sabita Sorai – Mohrai’s cousin.
Almeysia Maisia Sorila – An Ora and the Mistress of Novices at the Temple of Oma. A very sensitive tirajista who can call upon her powers even when Tira is in decline.
Aloerian – A city in Dorinah near a dajian camp.
Alorjan – An island nation currently claimed by both Saiduan and Dorinah forces. Both nations removed their forces to deal with Tai Mora matters.
Amelia Novao – A Dorinah Seeker. Recruited and bound by Lilia to help her get the dajian refugees across the Dhai border.
Anavha Hasaria – Zezili Hasaria’s husband. Son of Gilyna Lasinya. The Empress awarded Anavha to Zezili as a token for her service.
Anjoliaa – A port city in southern Saiduan.
Aradan Foswen – A leader in an alternate version of Raisa.
Arakam Solaan, Ren – An ataisa sanisi.
Aramey Dahina Dasina – A Dhai scholar. Married to Lanilu Asaila Sorila.
Arasia Marita Sorila – Temporary keeper of Liona Stronghold.
Arisaa Saara – One of Alaar Masoth Taar’s wives. Known as his most formidable wife, Arisaa is the mother of Alaar’s most beloved sons and provides him with valued advice.
Asaolina – A small village in Dorinah.
Ashaar Toaan – A Saiduan scholar.
Asona Harbor – Harbor on the Hareo Sea, in Clan Sorai. This defensive structure was built by Faith Ahya and Hahko in anticipation of raids from Saiduan and Dorinah.
Avosta – A former member of Ghrasia Madah’s militia.
Azorum – A dead people conquered by the Tai Mora on their world.
Bael Asaraan – Record-keeper for the archives at Kuonrada. Native of Caisau.
Battle at Roasandara – A battle between the Saiduan and the ancient Dhai at the city of Roasandara, taught to every member of the Saiduan military.
Bendi – A strategy game played in Dhai.
Bleeding pen – A pen made from the stamens of claw-lilies.
Blinding tree – A tree that emits a deadly acid that numbs flesh and can eat through skin, bone and armor.
Bone Festival – One of the winter festivals held in Saiduan.
Bone tree – A tree with yellowish bark and spiny branches, made of bone. It catches small animals in its branches, and secretes a poisonous sap that kills its prey.
Bonsa – Large, yellow-barked trees trained to become living establishments in Dhai. Saplings are also used to create weapons infused with the breath of Para.
Book of Dhai – A written set of religious practices, codes and laws followed by the Tai Mora. The book states that when Oma rises, one world will die and another will be transformed. In the book, omajistas are referred to as the hand of Oma, and will decide the fate of the worlds.
Book of Laine – The holy book of Tordin.
Book of Oma – A written set of religious practices, codes and laws followed in Dhai.
Book of Rhea – A written set of religious practices, codes and laws followed in Dorinah.
Borasau – A Tai Mora, one of Roh’s captors.
Broodguard – The Patron of Saiduan’s personal guards.
Caisa Arianao Raona – Novice at the Temple of Oma now working as Ahkio’s assistant. Parajista.
Caisau – A city in Saiduan just south of Isjahilde. Caisau’s hold is a living building, but has been repaired so many times over the years that it is a patchwork of organic and inorganic material. 2,000 years ago, Caisau was the seat of the Dhai empire.
Caratyd – A city in Tordin.
Casa Maigan – An old acquaintance of Dasai’s who has talamynii blood and can read old talamynii. Was part of Alaar Masoth Taar’s harem in Isjahilde. Casa was left behind by the prior Patron, and inherited by Alaar.
Casalyn Aurnaisa – Empress of Dorinah. Long ago, her people crossed over from another world, but many were left behind. She seeks to bring the rest over now, with the help of the Tai Mora. Other titles – Eye of Rhea, Rhea’s Regent, Lord of the Seven Isles.
Castaolain – A city in Dorinah.
Catori – Spouse of the Kai. The current Catori is Mohrai Hona Sorai.
Chali Finahin Badu – Brother of Roh; they share two mothers and three fathers but are not related by blood.
Cholina – A city in Dorinah, located northeast of Daorian.
Clan Adama – Named for one of Hahko and Faith Ahya’s children, Clan Adama’s primary exports come from its orchards, generally in the form of olives, apples, cherries, and apricots. Also known for its rice production.
Clan Alia – Primary exports of Clan Alia include textiles. Also known for its rice production.
Clan Badu – Clan bordering Clans Garika and Sorila, in Dhai. Politically close to Clan Garika.
Clan Daora – Clan Daora, like Clan Badu, has a skill with forged pieces, including tools and weaponry
, though it is much more well-known for its craftsmanship and attention to detail. Their jewelry pieces are highly sought after in Saiduan and Aaldia.
Clan Garika – Known as the most powerful single clan in Dhai, Clan Garika is the birthplace of three Kais and four Catoris. Often at the center of challenging the power and autonomy of the Kais, the clan is also an economic center and trading hub for the whole country. Goods coming up from the harbor in Sorai are generally brought to Garika for distribution and sale across the clan. Much of the population makes a living as merchants, traders, and in other skilled professions such as plumbers, hedge doctors, and clan law specialists.
Clan Mutao – Smallest and least economically powerful of the Dhai clans, Clan Mutao provides some exports in mushrooms, coal, and copper, but mostly ends up working in reserves overseen by neighboring Clan Nako. Their status as a dwindling clan requiring subsistence from others to survive has led to a petition in recent years to combine clans Nako and Mutao.
Clan Nako – Neighboring Clan Mutao, Clan Nako holds much of the country’s wealth in copper and other metals. The sale of these materials is regulated by the clan, which manipulates supply and demand as necessary to ensure the best exported price. Such market manipulation for goods meant for sale within the country are not permitted, but exports are exempt.
Clan Osono – Central clan in Dhai. Chief commodity is sheep.
Clan Raona – Originally comprised of two different clans—Riana and Orsaila—Clan Roana is just a century old, and was created in an effort to tamp down the fierce feuding between the Riana and Orsaila clans, which resulted in nearly a dozen deaths, the most unnatural deaths outside of war time that the country had ever experienced. Clan Roana is loosely aligned with clans Saobina and Taosina. Primary exports include rice and wine. Raona also raises most of the sparrows used as messengers in the Dhai temples.
Clan Saiz – Dhai clan. Chief commodity is timber and artisanal goods.
Clan Saobina – Clan Saobina exports timber and plantstuffs – including herbal aids and medications – which it grows and mixes in its own fields and workshops. The clan borders the woodlands, and so its members tend to be called on to consult on poisonous or dangerous plant outbreaks between the clans.
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