by Dawn Doyle
“I don’t like that you’re always getting so banged up, honey.” My mom fiddled with my freshly cut hair, trying and failing to push the front strands away from my forehead. “I wish you could’ve turned down the bout. I would’ve liked you to be doing something nice on your special day.”
“It was already booked,” I lied. “If I want to make it big, I can’t turn down what’s offered.”
Yeah, cos the last time somebody said no, that turned out so well. I hadn’t said no to anything, but I was suffering the same consequences as if I had, and so was Luca. Her face planted firmly in my mind of when she’d told me she loved me, witnessing that exact moment when it had turned to hate. The second she slammed my door, I dropped to my fucking knees in agony. Every muscle in my body ignited and burst into flames as misery took a hold of me and hooked its claws into my heart, ripping it to shreds while it laughed its ass off, telling me that I deserved every ounce of pain it beat me down with. If I’d said no to this deal, everything I’d done, or tried to do, would’ve been for nothing.
My dad held up his fists. “My boy, the rising champ. You’ll have to tell us when there’s a public booking. I want to see you in action.”
“I don’t think so,” I mumbled as I moved vegetables and potatoes around the plate.
“Why not? You’ve been doing this for a couple of years, now, and we’ve never seen any of your fights.” They would’ve disowned me if they had. He swung his fist playfully toward my face. I shot my arm up, closed my hand around his fist and held tightly, adding enough pressure to let him know I wasn’t fucking playing. His face paled and he tried to pull back, struggling against my hardened grip. “Lucian,” he warned.
“Loosh, fuck, let him go,” Brady snapped, elbowing me in my side.
“What has gotten into you?” my mom whispered, leaning toward me while bewildered faces turned to our table and hushed voices mumbled to each other.
“Sorry, Dad. Like I said, I’ve been working hard and I’m exhausted.”
He reached over and patted my forearm. “No need to explain, I took it too far. You just let me know when you’re ready, okay?” I nodded, and my dad picked up his beer. “Happy birthday, boys. Twenty-one, and legal to buy your own beer from now on.” He winked at me, and the corner of my mouth quirked for the first time in over a month.
“And we thought we’d been stealing his beer for years,” Brady whispered. “I feel cheated.”
The cogs fired, and adrenaline bubbled up in the pit of my stomach. I was cheated too, but where Brady was kidding around, I was deadly fucking serious. My whole situation was fucked up from start to finish.
“So, where’s the after party?” my dad asked, shoveling a forkful of his food into his mouth while looking between Brady and me. “You know, the real birthday celebration?”
No party, none at all. Me attending any party right now wasn’t a good idea.
“Come on, boys, why else would you turn down a vacation?” my mom asked. “The flight is after your match, so there must be something else you’re doing.” Her glossy smile widened, her light eyes crinkling up in the corners. “We were your age once, too, and attended many wild parties in our day.”
“Yeah.” My dad laughed. “Remember your twenty-first, Abs?” My mom’s cheeks flamed and my dad pumped his brows. “That was definitely a wild party.” He turned to us. “Your grandparents wanted to take your mother to Hawaii, but she turned them down for me. We went to an all-nighter instead.” He chuckled again and shook his head. “They didn’t like that, and said I was a bad influence.”
“Yes, you were,” my mom said, “And you still are, Mac.”
“We don’t need to know that,” Brady said, horrified. “Please, do not elaborate.”
“I wasn’t going to,” my dad replied, grinning. “All you need to know, is that your mother is, and has always been, an angel.”
I dropped my head and forced a bite of my now cold food. Hearing my dad talk about my mom like that, and they way he looked at her, I wanted the same. He was still besotted by the woman who’d married him at twenty-four, carried his babies at twenty-six and bore the scars of childbirth. He loved every part of her just as much now as he did then. Stuck in that pit, I would never get the chance at that kind of life, because as Larry said, he owned me.
Brady put on one hell of a show at lunch, asking me questions, then answering them for me. All the attention was on him, and when he put his hands under the table to wipe his palms, he bumped his fist against mine. He had my back again, and no matter what shit I had to go through to get myself out of the cluster fuck I was in, I knew he would be right there by my side, making sure I kept my eye on the goal and didn’t deviate from the target.
Luca
School was done for the semester, and I couldn’t be more ready for the break. I had no idea how difficult it would be to pretend I was doing just fine. I had to, and that was because of Lucian. Nobody knew we were ever together, so to them, nothing was wrong. I was stupid to think that that would somehow help, that everybody else being oblivious to the broken person locked away inside of me would enable me to shut her up for longer.
How do people do this every day?
“I’ll call you later,” Paige said when she pulled up outside my house. “There’s a new movie we could go and see, if you want.”
God, yes!
Getting me out of the house was what I so desperately needed. I’d spent far too long stuck inside that room that it’d felt like it was becoming my prison. I’d done my time, and I was free.
“I would love that,” I replied, my first genuine smile spreading across my face. “Wanna go for ice cream afterward?”
Paige side-eyed me. “Ice cream? Are you sure?”
“Of course,” I said, chuckling. “You know I love it.”
She grinned, showing me almost every one of her dentist straightened teeth. “Then, hell yeah. Movie and Ice cream with my girl, Luca. It sounds like the perfect date.”
And with that, the smile fell from my eyes and barely held onto my lips. I laughed, the sound dry and forced. “Doesn’t it just?”
No, it didn’t. Not now, anyway. I’d had the most perfect date I could have even imagined, and the memory of that night struck me like a huge rock, knocking the free air right out of me and revoking my parole.
The moment Paige pulled away, I ran into the house and right to my cell.
“Fuck you, Lucian,” I spat, gripping the edge of my vanity table and staring down at the white surface. “I can’t even have one day where I’m not reminded of you.” It didn’t help that this day was his and Brady’s twenty-first birthday, the day I’d wanted to properly tell him how I felt. To tell him that I loved him and that he made me feel like I was the most important thing in his life. But, I’d told him that the day he’d broken my heart.
Falling in love had been so easy. I hadn’t known it had happened until all I could think about was him, my days were consumed by him, and whenever we were together, I felt like I belonged. Falling out of love was so damn hard. He’d spoken to me like I was an annoyance, he’d looked at me like I was an inconvenience, and he pushed me away like I was nothing. Yet, my heart still ached to be with him. I’d thought it before, but had pushed it down. He’d held me, right before he unleashed whatever the hell had gotten inside of him. I’d felt his gentle caresses on my back, his breath on my skin, and he’d breathed in deeply as though inhaling me. No matter how much time had gone by, it still made absolutely no sense for him to lash out at me like that.
I said I never wanted to see any of that group again, but there was one person I knew that could maybe give me some information. I just had to find him and use what I had to my advantage.
I’d finished my first full meal, and the smile on my mom’s face was heartbreaking as she looked at me with pride. When I placed my dinner plate in the sink, she took me in her arms and held me tight. I let her and returned the hug, knowing how much my erratic behavior had worried her, and
my dad.
“How are you feeling today, honey?” she asked, pulling back and stroking down my hair to cup my face. “You don’t look as tired as you did yesterday. Feeling better?”
“Actually, I am, thanks.” It was as though my plan had given me just what I needed to take a breath from my misery. I smiled as she searched my face.
“There’s my girl.”
She hugged me again and released me when my dad walked in, fresh from getting ready for another all-nighter at work.
“Hi, Dad,” I greeted him.
“Hi, sweetheart.”
While he took my mom in his arms and hugged her, I went over to the pot and poured him some coffee. “It’s fresh,” I said, handing it to him.
He kissed my forehead, then sat at the counter while sipping from the mug. “This is good. I’ve been drinking cheap office coffee all week.”
I walked behind him and gripped his shoulders, gently pressing my thumbs in. “Still nothing?” He hadn’t gotten anything from the case being released to the public, but all leads had to be followed up which meant long hours and wasted time.
He shook his head. “No. We do have some other evidence, but I can’t discuss that. What I can say, though, is that whoever did this made sure Murphy didn’t look like the guy his family said he was.”
Oh, I knew that all to well. His family probably thought he was a good person, an adored son and an angel in every way. In reality, he was a vicious fighter with a dark secret. But, he’d been loved once and in a way I knew too well.
I couldn’t dwell on that, though, because like Grace, when the decision had to made between the fight or us, we never stood a chance.
I patted my dad’s shoulders and headed out of the kitchen. I was going out with my friend, and I was putting Lucian to the back of my mind where he belonged.
Lucian
‘For your last fight, I want to make it special,’ Larry had said, a sly grin spreading over his face. ‘When I’ve got more details, I’ll be in touch. Remember, kid. I call, you come running. I don’t care what you’re doing, you just get here and ready to face your opponent.’
That call had come today, right before Brady and I had gone out to lunch with our parents.
I bounced on my toes from foot to foot, gearing myself up for the fight of my fucking life. The yells of a hungry crowd were deafening in the empty stone rooms, louder than ever, the place packed beyond capacity for a show Larry said would be spectacular.
“Fighter ready!” The voice carried down the corridor, giving me my two minute countdown.
This was it, the last chance I had of walking away. Luca was my only priority now, and when this was all over, I knew I’d have the difficult job trying to persuade her to love me again. But I would, no matter how long it took. I also knew that if I focused on the reward at the end, I could beat whoever the fuck Larry had me up against. Hammer had been used to take Murphy down, and I took him down in return, though he was still breathing, unlike my friend.
I winced at the memory of seeing Murph on the dirty floor, surrounded by his own blood and the cries of people who wanted more. I let out a long breath, trying not to focus on that. If only he knew who he was up against, maybe he would’ve been ready. Maybe he’d underestimated Hammer’s abilities and made the mistake of letting his guard down. However, the signs all pointed to one thing, and I didn’t want to think like that, to think his death wasn’t an accident. I couldn’t prove anything, it would’ve been impossible, but that didn’t stop the idea from rolling around in my head every time I thought about Murph.
I picked up the bottle of water handed to me when I’d gotten wrapped up. The lid was sealed, but there was a tiny liquid ring where it had sat. I squeezed it, and a thin stream squirted out of the bottom where it was leaking. Cheap ass plastic, no doubt. I put it back down in the small puddle it had left.
“You fucking got this,” Brady said as he paced up and down. He didn’t care that I was supposed to be alone. It was dangerous for him to be there, but he didn’t give a shit. We were a team and he was coming along whether I liked it or not. “You go out there, and you do what you have to do to put this shit to bed once and for all.”
I gripped the back of his neck and did our usual ritual, pressing my forehead against his. “After tonight, it’s over.”
“He’s had you up against people twice your size and you’ve cut them down every time,” he stated, his tone serious. “Go get ‘em, bro. I’ll be waiting.”
We pulled back and I stared into the panicked eyes of my twin, the worry there slamming into me. We both knew the stakes, we weren’t fucking stupid.
Brady threw his arms around me, and dug his fists into my skin. “You make sure you get out of there in one piece, mother fucker, or I’ll kick your ass myself.”
I pulled back as the last call was made, and smirked at my brother. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
He walked behind me down the narrow corridor, the same journey many animals had taken before they were auctioned off to be slaughtered. Right then, I felt like one of them. When I got to the open gate, I knew my fate had been sealed.
Oh, fuck.
My opponent…was Titan.
Luca
Tonight wasn’t going to go my way, I just knew it. First, I’d snapped my long necklace, the one Grace liked, and then I spilled juice all down my white ripped jeans. I just hoped they didn’t stain, because I hadn’t had them long. I quickly changed into my black skinny jeans, the fashion tears over the knees giving more room.
“Make sure you’re careful tonight, honey,” my mom said through the small gap in the door. “There’s been a couple more thefts close by this week.”
I shook my head. They’d know better than to attempt to take my car. I knew what precautions to take—not leaving my keys near windows or the front door where the code could be copied and, since Paige had left mine unlocked the last time, I’d started to double-check the doors, even in the garage.
“I’ll make sure we park under a streetlight and where we can see it,” I replied.
Paige had a Volkswagen Beetle, so I thought hers would be safer. The cars getting stolen were sports types, and hers was the opposite. Bright yellow with a huge sunflower clipped to the dashboard… Yeah, it wasn’t the kind to go joyriding in, even it was pretty.
“Good. I’ve got some work to do from here, so if you need me, just call me, okay?”
“I will, Mom.”
I picked up my white purse, slung the long strap over my head and slipped my arm through so it hung across my body. I put my phone, keys, and cash inside, ready for the movies. I looked down and saw the red plastic that I couldn’t bring myself to throw away.
I jogged down the steps and into the hallway, just as I heard my mom on the phone with Aunt Cora. I waved goodbye and headed out, ready to get into Paige’s car as she pulled up right on time.
Only it wasn’t Paige.
I stared at the black car that slammed to a halt in front of my house. I stormed toward it and opened my mouth to give the driver a piece of my mind with as many curse words I could think of.
“Get in the car, Luca,” Blaine said frantically. “We don’t have time.”
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I hissed. He was the person I needed to see, and I just wanted him gone.“If you don’t get the hell away from my house, I’ll call my dad. Don’t think I won’t. I know you stole my car, Blaine. You left a piece of your fucking keyring behind.” I dug out the plastic and hurled it through the open window.
He rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Yeah, I did and I’m sorry, but right now, I don’t give a shit if you fucking screamed it from the rooftops. Just get in the fucking car, Luca. This is about Lucian.”
“What about him?” The dull thud in my chest not only sped up, but hit harder with each beat. My breaths quickened as I waited for Blaine to say something else, that maybe I misheard him mentioning Lucian’s name.
Please, no, not that. Is thi
s the thing I’ve dreaded, the nightmares I’d been having becoming a reality?
“Luca!” he yelled, yanking me out of my thoughts. “We don’t have time to stand around, we have to go now!”
I glared at him through my misted eyes. “I’m not going anywhere with you until you tell me what the fuck is going on.” My stomach flip-flopped, protesting against being dragged down again. I’d finally started to come up for air, and now I was being suffocated once more.
“If you get in, I swear I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” he promised. “Lucian needs you, Luca. Please. Brady called me from the pit and the others are on their way. Lucian needs you so much right now—we all do.”
My knees trembled beneath me at his words and the desperation in his tone. Blaine was the joker, the ass, the one who liked to get a rise out of you in any way he knew how. But right then, he was different. He was panicked, his eyes wild and his hands repeatedly tapping on the steering wheel. Something had scared him, and that was enough for me to move my ass.
One second I was standing on the sidewalk, the next I was inside the car, clicking my seatbelt in as Blaine raced down the street.
“Is he okay?” I rushed out, my head automatically going to the worst place possible.
“You wanted to know everything,” he said, glancing at me then back at the road while running a stop sign.
“Blaine, is he okay? Is Lucian okay?” I twisted in my seat to face him, staring at his profile and saw his lips purse. I gripped his forearm. “Blaine! Tell me!”
He shook his head and pressed his foot harder on the gas pedal. “No, Luca. He did something stupid, and he did it for you.”
