by Aiden Bates
He shrugged.
“Right. Finnegan’s it is.” I flipped on my blinker to head to the quiet, Irish-themed restaurant bar I liked, and he just nodded.
“Sounds cool.”
“Come on,” I cajoled. “When did you even last go there?”
“It’s been a while,” he admitted, and a small smile formed on his mouth. “Probably not since university myself, dude.”
I nodded. “Let’s go and be the two oldest guys there, then.”
He laughed. “Okay.”
The place was almost exactly as I remembered it. Assorted paraphernalia hung from the ceiling and walls—a trike identical to the one I’d ridden at four years old, and an electric guitar so beaten up it had either been abused or too well loved were the first things I noticed. Servers carried sizzling skillets of food past us, and my stomach grumbled over its emptiness.
“You thirsty?” I asked Grady, and he nodded.
“Beer for me.”
I’d almost forgotten Grady drank more when he got anxious, but the memory was why I’d steered him away from Hot Toddy’s. Some food to soak up any alcohol could only help his head in the morning.
We ate, and I watched as he ordered a beer every time he finished his glass. I grinned. “You gone off water?”
“Just letting my hair down.”
I glanced at the way his blond hair shone like a halo under the restaurant lights. Caldwell hair always looked very soft. Touchable. I pushed my hand into my pocket, out of the way, but my fingers still itched.
As Grady’s eyes turned sleepy, I signaled for our check and paid. “Come on, dude. Time to get you home.”
As he stood up, I pulled him close. He was pretty steady, but he needed support anyway, just in case.
He threw his arm carelessly over my shoulder. “You’re a good guy, Rome.”
“Hm?” The thoughts I was having about him were anything but good.
“A great friend,” he clarified, and I grimaced as we navigated around the tables.
It was only a short drive to his apartment, and when I put the car in park, he turned to me. “Come inside?”
I closed my eyes as my whole body tensed at that bad idea. But I nodded. “Sure.”
We were friends, after all, and we were even pretending to be in a relationship, so it wasn’t that weird to accept his invitation. And I was happy to tell myself that.
“Shots?” I didn’t know if Grady was making an announcement or asking a question as he held the bottle above two ready shot glasses.
“I don’t know, Gray. I’m driving, remember.”
He made a face. “Just one, then. Spoilsport.”
I laughed. “It’s the state of Connecticut stealing your fun by having actual laws, I think.”
He poured the drinks, then took them to his couch. I liked Grady’s home. His navy-blue couch looked great against his dark hardwood floor, and it always felt warm and homey.
He was only quiet for a moment after we sat, and he tapped his fingernails against his glass as if he had something on his mind. “You know…” When he eventually spoke, he swung his head toward me in that pseudo-slow motion someone who’s been drinking has. “Eli wasn’t happy when I told him I was going to go to the interview.”
“Oh?” Of course he wasn’t. Eli was a dick.
“Yeah. He was really out of order, really. Made it very clear he’d expected me not to go.”
“Huh.” I didn’t want to lead him too much. Grady knew how I felt about Eli really, even if I pretended to like him to keep the peace.
“That.” He stopped. “That kind of hurt me, that he’d say he’s my friend and then try to make me feel bad about this.”
I took one look at Grady and knew he was understating things. Eli’s response to his job interview had been another wound inflicted by the man Grady loved.
“Why wouldn’t he just be happy for me, too?” His voice grew quieter.
Perhaps he was going to have to get used to putting his rose-colored glasses away where Eli was concerned. I hoped so.
“Sounds dumb, right? Me whining about a friend who hurt my feelings.”
I shook my head, but I couldn’t reply. Hearing how Eli had hurt Gray all over again made me want to find him and let my fists remind him how we treat people. But my fists weren’t the best advocate for that. And I couldn’t exactly teach Eli how to love Grady by punching the guy.
That would only give away how I felt about Grady.
And it would upset Gray. It was a lose/lose scenario.
Instead, I wrapped my arm across his shoulders and shifted my position, then pulled him to lean against me. His weight rested completely on me, and I held in my sigh of contentment. This felt right, and a wave of affection surged through my chest. I dropped my head toward Grady and inhaled his warm scent of soft vanilla and something spicy. It warmed me, and my dick throbbed.
“Nothing Eli does or says is your fault,” I murmured. “He makes his own choices. And we know Eli.” An edge of bitterness crept into my voice. “He doesn’t always accept the successes of others with good grace.”
Gray chuckled sleepily. “Ain’t that the truth,” he said.
But I knew Grady couldn’t help loving Eli, regardless. He’d loved him a long time, and that didn’t just go away. I was a prime example of that in action.
“And I’m sorry he hurt you. So sorry,” I whispered.
“This is the most affectionate I think you’ve ever been with me.”
Grady surprised me with his change of subject, and I tried to draw away. I was indulging myself a little too much, and maybe it wasn’t something he wanted.
But he surprised me again by pressing himself closer, closing any gaps between our bodies as he cuddled me, his arm thrown across my waist, holding me as I held him.
“I like it,” he muttered, his voice sleepy. “I like it a lot.”
It didn’t take long before his breathing became slow and even, and his closed eyelids fluttered. I watched his eyelashes dancing against his cheek and smiled at the idea he’d fallen asleep listening to my heartbeat.
Almost unable to help myself, I dropped a quiet kiss onto the top of his head before untangling myself from him and easing him to lie down on the couch. There was a fluffy-looking throw conveniently lying over the arm of the closest chair, and I grabbed it to cover Grady up, gently tucking him in. Then I left him a glass of water and a packet of Tylenol on the end table and sneaked from his apartment, closing the door with a soft click behind me.
The next morning, I woke up full of irritation and unrelentingly clear-headed. I hadn’t had anything to drink as I wanted Grady to have the freedom he needed to do that while I looked after him. And it had worked. Gray was safe at his apartment and I… Well, I’d headed to the gym to work off some of the frustration I’d built up.
I pounded through my steps on the treadmill, my feet seeming to bounce against the moving rubber, and the sound of each strike drove me forward until I could only hear my running and my rapid breaths as I drove myself faster and faster.
Pretending not to love Grady hurt like hell and it was harder than I’d expected. I was scared I’d slip and give myself away, or just forget where I was and blurt it out for all the world to hear. By saving Grady from Eli and Benji’s news at his party, I’d damned myself.
Someone stepped onto the treadmill next to mine, and I glanced across, fighting back a groan when I saw Eli.
So much for working off my frustration. With that guy right there in my face, I was destined to return home even more irritated and angry. As long as he kept quiet, we’d be okay. Except he didn’t keep quiet. Of course he didn’t.
“I know it was you who convinced Grady to go to the interview,” he said.
I looked at him then away and back again. He’d just said what? Unbelievable. I shook my head. “Well, it was pretty shitty for you to suggest he skip that interview in the first place, don’t you think?”
Thud, thud, thud. I kept up my pun
ishing pace. I needed the distraction, something else to focus on if I didn’t want the thudding noise to become the pounding of my fist against Eli’s nose.
It was a satisfactory thought, even though I’d never do it. I didn’t need the prison sentence and I didn’t need the explaining I’d have to do to Grady.
It didn’t mean I couldn’t vent some of my anger, though. “How can you even call yourself a friend after asking him to throw his chance like that? It’s his dream job, it’s been his dream job for years, and you know that. Grady would never have asked the same of you.”
“I didn’t tell him to do it. I just made a request. It’s not like I twisted his arm up behind his back or anything. Besides, it’s been my dream just as long, and I need the extra money more right now. It really wasn’t that big a favor to ask, I didn’t think.”
But nothing Eli could say justified asking a friend not to go to a job interview.
I scoffed. “Can you even hear yourself, man? I’m not sure how you even sleep at night with the way you treat Grady.”
“You don’t get to have an opinion on the way my friendship works with Gray.”
As I heard his snotty tone, I slowed my treadmill to a stop. Then I turned so I could face Eli fully, and I leaned a little closer so he’d hear every single word I said. “Listen, perhaps you haven’t noticed yet, or maybe you just don’t want to see, but things are different now that Gray’s mine, and as much as I had no time for shit aimed at Gray when we were only friends, I’m even less tolerant of it now that Gray’s my boyfriend.” Possessiveness swept through me. “I won’t be biting my tongue about you any longer, Eli, so maybe you need to start being more careful where Gray is concerned.”
I didn’t ask the last bit as a question. It didn’t need an answer. Still, this asshole liked talking anyway, so it was no surprise when he opened his mouth.
“Like this will last!” He laughed, the sound ugly and rough. “Roman… Rome… Romeo.” He laughed again. “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art though, Rome? There’s a reason I call you Romeo.”
I lifted my chin.
“And that’s because you get around. You don’t stay in one place for too long—you never have.” Then he shook his head, parodying sadness. “I just can’t believe Gray has forgotten that about you. Oh, well. It doesn’t matter, right? You might not be faithful to Gray, but I’ll be the one here for him and picking up the pieces after you’ve broken his heart. Then we’ll see who the better friend is.” He smiled, his smug expression infuriating, and I tried to drop my shoulders to stop them from bunching and blaring out how much his attitude affected me.
I tried a shrug. “You just keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better, Eli.” Then I smiled. “But definitely don’t hold your breath waiting for it. And you know what? Maybe you should start planning for when you end up being best man at Gray’s and my wedding.”
The color drained from Eli’s face, and he stood openmouthed, his eyes wider than usual. “No. Wait. Are the two of you planning on getting married?” His voice even seemed to shake just a little bit, and satisfaction wound through me at inducing such shock in him.
I stretched my mouth into a wide smile of joy and patted his shoulder. “You have a good weekend, E.” Then I sauntered away, whistling for effect.
I didn’t turn to look back at him, but I imagined him staring after me, his mouth still open, and my pulse kicked up in pleasure at that picture in my head.
But that pleasure soon gave way to self-recrimination and I slammed my locked door shut as I grabbed my towel to take into the shower. For fuck’s sake. How old was I—three? What was with the cheap point scoring all of a sudden? I’d allowed Eli to get under my skin. What a dumbass I was.
I hadn’t actually helped anything. In fact, I’d just taken a bad situation and turned the dial up to disaster.
I soaped my chest as I stood under the spray, and I closed my eyes against the water droplets splashing off the tile. Then I huffed out a sigh. I’d gotten carried away and let my mouth fucking run itself. Like I hadn’t even involved my brain in what I was saying. And maybe I hadn’t.
My heart had spoken the truth, and my cock agreed, but that fucking little brain didn’t get to be in control. If Grady and I were in a fix from my first attempt to rescue him, I’d dug us deeper into the hole, now.
Every lesson I used daily in business—like if you’re in a hole, stop digging or this isn’t a dick-measuring contest—had been completely forgotten as I focused on getting the best of Eli.
But now, I might have lost Grady completely because there was no way at all that Eli would expect us to remain friends if we fake broke up at the end of our fake relationship. Fuck. I still felt the urge to punch someone’s face, but this time it was mine.
Loving Grady hurt, and I just couldn’t seem to make it better.
There was only one thing to do. I dumped a blob of shampoo into my hand before massaging it into my hair, and the scent of leather and musk swirled around me. I needed to make Grady see that we could really do this, that I really wanted to be his boyfriend, that we were good together and that everything I felt for him was real.
But that was a risky move. And that much risk wasn’t at all how I usually conducted business.
9
Grady
I caught up with Eli at work the following Friday after he’d been weird with me all week. Despite recent events, he was still my best friend, and I didn’t want to go into a weekend with that atmosphere hanging over us. “Hey.” I leaned against the doorframe of his classroom. “What’s up with you sitting in your classroom instead of the breakroom at recess? You’re usually the one rebel teacher who makes it there to look like you have time to spend chilling.”
He looked up but didn’t quite meet my gaze and shrugged. “Just busy, I guess. Papers to grade. You know the drill.”
“Yeah.” I forced a laugh. “And I also know how you feel about coffee.” I produced his mug from behind my back. “In fact, I brought you one. Peace offering.”
“You didn’t need to do that.” He half stood as I walked forward and set it on his desk.
“How else was I supposed to see you when you’re avoiding me?” I sighed. I didn’t want to ask, but I had to know. “Is this about the job?”
“Yeah.”
My chest turned cold.
“Well, kind of,” he amended.
I waited. I knew that look in his eyes, and it meant he was figuring out the best way to say something.
“I need to apologize to you, dude.” His shoulders slumped as he finally met my eyes. “I have been a really shitty friend to you. I got so caught up in my own head and my own life that I asked you to do something I should never even have thought of. I’m so sorry I asked you to skip the job interview. That wasn’t fair of me, and I should have never done it to anyone. Especially not you. Not to my Grady.”
The way he said my name freed the worry inside me, and it drifted away. My cheeks warmed a little under his obvious affection.
Eli held his arms out. “Forgive me?”
Of course I did. He didn’t even need to ask. I crossed willingly into his familiar hug and sighed out my relief. Everything was back to normal.
“Hey,” Eli said as he held me. “I’m kind of worried about you with Rome around.” He tightened his arms.
“Hmm?” I didn’t know what he could possibly have to say, but this was so comfortable I almost didn’t want to move. “What’s got you worried?”
“Well,” he continued. “He’s just, you know, possessive, I guess, and I don’t know if he’ll want us to continue being friends.”
I drew away and met Eli’s gaze. “No. No way. I totally know Rome, and he’d never be like that.”
The bell rang, signaling the end of recess, and I started to walk away.
“It’s just something to think about, Gray,” Eli called after me.
“Come sit next to me, Gray.” Eli patted the chair next to him in the breakroom, and I wa
ndered over and dropped into the seat.
Then I pulled my lunch out of my bag. It was almost enough to make me yearn for cafeteria food. I’d had enough of brown bagging my lunch.
“I am so excited for this weekend,” he said. “Benji and I have a couple of nights booked in a cabin in the mountains, and it is going to be so great.” He nodded. “No papers to grade… No other people’s children… It’s like some kind of fantasy, right?”
I nodded. Yeah, it really was like some kind of fantasy—the kind I’d always wanted to experience with Eli. I tried to brush away the jealousy before it turned my blue eyes green. Even though I probably would have looked pretty cute with green eyes.
“So.” Eli shot me a side-eyed glance. “Do you and Rome have plans this weekend?”
I hesitated. We had a response prepared for this kind of question, but this time the reply was actually true. I sighed dismissively first and waved my hand. “No, Rome has to work. You know how it is.”
I didn’t even know why I added that last bit. I mean, we were teachers. We knew about working the weekends, even if we didn’t have to show up at the school to do it.
“He’ll be in his office all weekend.” Maybe that was a better way to put it.
Eli shook his head. “Sounds like a workaholic to me. I’m so glad Benji isn’t like that. I don’t know that I would want to be with a guy who works so much. Are you sure that’s what you want?” He ended on a note of concern, his eyes earnest as he held my gaze.
I hesitated, considering his question like it was real, like it mattered.
“When will Rome have time for you?” Eli probed.
I blew out a sigh. This was ridiculous. Eli’s questions didn’t even matter. It was all pretend. Rome and I didn’t love each other. We weren’t in a relationship. We’d already planned to fake break up at some point. None of it was real.
Except…what if it was real? Maybe a relationship with Rome would actually mean coming second to his work most weekends. Or maybe it wouldn’t. The truth was, I didn’t know what a relationship with Rome would be like, and I never would.
