by Kip Nelson
With every step, Mack felt more confident and yet more cautious at the same time. He didn't want to make a mistake now that he was so close. As he drew closer to the office he glanced back to ensure the guard still hadn’t noticed him. When he reached the office, he was relieved to find the door handle moved freely and the door opened without any resistance. He was starting to suspect Miranda had been right, as Mack couldn't imagine the real Dr. Richardson to be so careless as to leave the door open.
When he was inside he carefully closed the door, making sure it didn't make any noise. The office was facing directly toward the moon, so the room was filled with silvery light, ensuring Mack could see. He looked around at the desks and various filing cabinets, knowing he had to work quickly before anyone passed by the big window that looked out onto the lounge and saw him in there. He rifled through the desk first, but there was nothing there that could help him, so he turned to the filing cabinets. The first one he looked at had a lot of administrative information, which was useless to him. The second, however, had files pertaining to the staff. He flicked through them and when he came across Miranda's file his heart sank, as he knew then that he had made a mistake. He continued to Doctor Richardson's file and there it was confirmed, for the photo in that file did not match the man Mack had met at all.
He sank to the floor with the folder in one hand and his face in the other, wondering how he had been so stupid to be tricked like this. He only could allow himself a moment of self-doubt, however, for he and Luis were caught in a trap and they had to work quickly if they were going to make it out of there. Mack stuffed the file back into the desk and opened the door. This time speed was of the essence, so he rushed to the other side of the corridor and made his way back to the room, ready to tell Luis to get ready and leave. But when he got back to the ward he was stopped in his tracks as the man posing as Gary Richardson was standing over Luis.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
GRACE AND SAUL looked at each other. Saul was frustrated and Grace was worried. The window stood before them, beckoning them in. Yet Billy was sitting on the floor, seemingly oblivious to everything that was happening.
“What do we do now?” Grace asked.
“I say we just go in without him,” Saul replied.
“What? You really want to leave him here like this?”
Saul shrugged. “He seemed to be alright out there before we found him.”
“I'm not leaving him out here. Besides, he knows the place better than either of us. We need him if we're going to find the others.”
“What do you want us to do, carry him in ourselves? I knew this was a bad idea from the start. Good luck talking to him, but I don't think you'll have any luck. Figures, when he's actually needed he goes back into himself,” Saul said, turning to place his hand against the wall.
Grace looked at him and then down at Billy. She certainly could understand Saul's frustration, and yet, she couldn't help but feel pity for the man who was sitting on the ground. He was ill, and deserved help, and there were people inside who could provide that help, but they needed Grace to save them.
“Billy? Captain Avenger? We're here now. We really could use your help,” she began, speaking in a soft cooing voice.
“You remember that you were going to help us get inside the building and take us to our friends? Well, we're ready to go in now, but we really can't do it without your help. You know that we'll keep you safe, and we won't let anything bad happen. We just want to get inside to our friends, and to help the people you care about as well, like Miranda. You remember Miranda, don't you? She helped you and talked to you. She was your friend and she needs your help now.” However, Billy remained rocking back and forth, mumbling to himself and Grace wasn't sure if he even could hear her. She had crouched down a little to talk to him so she stood back up.
“I'm telling you, it ain't no good,” Saul said.
“Well, what would you have us do? Just barge in there and hope for the best?”
“If we're going to go in, then better to do that than take him with us. Useless. I don't know why we bothered trusting an idiot to help us.”
“He not an idiot. He's ill,” Grace said defensively.
“Oh yes, ill, ill, we're all ill aren't we? Aren't we all going crazy in this world, isn't that what the point is? I'm surprised we all haven't lost our minds yet, the way things are going. Maybe we're in the right place and we should just stay here. It's got to be a better existence than what's waiting out there for us. You know what the stupid thing is? Right now, I think I'd rather be in his position because he has no idea what's going on, but we're the ones who must deal with it. We're the ones who must face every day not knowing if we're going to make it through, if there's anything waiting for us. But right now, we are counting on him, and he can't give us anything.”
Grace screwed up her face, surprised at this outburst, unsure how to respond. Spittle went flying from Saul's mouth as he spoke and now he turned back to face the wall, wiping his mouth before he pounded his fist against the thick concrete. Grace shook her head, not wanting to deal with this right now, but deep down she was worried for Saul. All this time he seemed to have been stoic and bottling up his emotions, and now perhaps they all were coming out. In truth, she wasn't sure if a rescue attempt was the best idea if he was going to be unpredictable, but she couldn't do it alone. She stepped closer to him and placed her arm on his back.
“I get that you're frustrated. There's obviously something going on here that we'll deal with, but right now I need you on your game. Mack needs our help, and I need yours, and we both need his,” she said, pointing to Billy.
“But getting angry at him isn't going to do any of us any good. The only way to get through to him is to be patient and calm. Now, can I count on you to keep it together until this is all over?” Saul nodded, and mumbled an affirmative answer although he stayed away from Billy, knowing he lacked the particular virtues of which Grace spoke.
With that settled, Grace turned back to Billy and walked closer to him. This time, instead of simply crouching down, she sat on the floor beside him and looked in the same direction, into nothingness. Silence reigned over them, but in Grace's eyes that was okay. Time was of the essence, but she knew she would not be able to rush Billy into anything.
“You know, I've been scared as well, and there have been times when all I've wanted to do is shut the world away and wish it would all just disappear. Back when I was younger I didn't really have anyone who cared about me, and when I went outside it all just seemed too much. The world was so loud and there were so many people, all talking and laughing, and I didn't know what I was supposed to do or how I was going to fit in. My first instinct was to run, so I did, and that fear stayed with me for the rest of my life. Whenever I had the opportunity to do something I hid away, stuck my head in the sand and hoped that whatever was happening would pass me by,” she said. Grace was not sure if her speech would help coax Billy out of his almost catatonic state, but in some ways, she was saying it more for herself than him.
“But ever since the world changed I've realized I can't sit by and ignore the world. I can't let other people decide things for me. I'm the only one responsible for what happens in my life, and I have to be the one to take action and influence it. It's still scary, and it's still overwhelming, but I can make a difference. That shouldn't be something that I'm afraid of, it should be something that gives me strength and excites me.”
After she finished speaking she let the words sink in, hoping they would have the desired effect. But Billy still remained in the same position, still seemed deaf to what they were saying. She didn't know how else to get through to him. In fact, the only thing she could think of that might work was the magic word he had said when he first transformed. It took her a few moments to remember it exactly but then she uttered it, too. “Excelsior!” She felt sheepish at resorting to such a tactic to bring back the superhero, but it didn't work. Billy was still Billy and Grace was out of ideas
.
“Please Billy, just talk to me, I know you can do it. You've come this far, you can go a little further,” she said, trying not to let any frustration creep into her voice.
“It was all my fault,” he moaned softly. Grace’s ears pricked up and she looked at him directly. It pained her to see the guilt in his eyes.
“Your alter ego told us you escaped the institute, but that doesn't mean it was your fault. You weren't to blame for this, it was all Ethan. You saw a chance to escape and you took it. Nobody blames you for that, but you're here now, and you have a chance to help the people who were left inside.”
“No, you don't understand,” he said in a croaking voice, “I'm not talking about the institute. I'm talking about the entire world. What happened is all my fault, and the only reason all this happened is because of me.”
Grace looked stunned. “Is this Billy I'm talking to, or is it the Captain?” she asked.
“It's Billy, but I can remember what happened when I was him. It's why I've been trying to keep him deep down inside. It's because of him, because of us, that the world ended.”
“Billy,” Grace said, concerned at how worked up Billy was becoming, “You can't possibly believe that. This isn't happening because of you and you can't blame yourself for it.”
“It is. All I wanted to do was help people. I wanted to be good and be a hero and they tried to warn me of the dangers, but I wouldn't listen.”
“Who tried to warn you?”
“The doctors. They tried to get me to stay as Billy. They didn't want me turning into Captain Avenger anymore, but I didn't want to stop. I didn't think they understood. I thought they were lying when they said they only were trying to protect me, but now I see they knew it all along. They knew what I could do, and it caused the end of the world. And how can I do anything now? I should be punished. I should be the one locked inside, not out here, not like this.”
“How Billy, how did you cause the end of the world?”
“With my powers. I used them too much. I thought I was saving people, but I was reckless and cocky and it caused the sun to flare out and burn the world.” He seemed to be on the verge of tears, and Grace wanted to convince him he was wrong.
It wasn't right that he should burden himself with such guilt when he wasn't to blame at all, and to see him get worked up like this made her heart go out to him. Yet, she knew if she tried convincing him he was wrong he only would resist. What she needed more than anything was for him to stop wallowing in self-pity, get on his feet and help them.
“Okay, say you're right. Say you are responsible for the world being this way; do you think the best way to react is to sit down and turn your back on it? Is that what a hero would do? We all make mistakes, but we can come back and redeem ourselves. We can look back and say that what we did is in the past, but we'll learn from it and we'll be better tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. We don't just get one chance to be a hero. We get as many as we can take, and right now you can be a hero for me and my friends and everyone in there. All you need to do is say that magic word and show us how to get inside, and you can start redeeming yourself.” Grace spoke passionately and her words seemed to have an effect as Billy sniffled, wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. He pushed himself up and stood with rounded shoulders, looking at Grace with bloodshot eyes.
“Excelsior,” he said, and in an instant his shoulders were pulled back and his head tilted upward. He looked like a new man and smiled at Grace.
“Ah good, we're here. What are we waiting for?” he said, and climbed in the window.
Saul still seemed perturbed at how quickly Billy could change from being so helpless to someone so eager to face danger. Grace also was worried that Billy would turn back into his scared persona when they were in the institute, but that was something she would have to worry about later. Saul and Grace climbed in after Billy and they huddled close together in the small supply closet. The moonlight poured into the room, but there was nothing very helpful in the closet, mostly stationery and extra pencils and pens.
“Where does this lead?” Grace asked in a low whisper.
“This is a quiet part of the building. Not many people come here, that's how I was able to escape without anyone noticing me,” Billy said.
“Do you know if there are going to be any of Ethan's people around here?”
“Maybe, but I doubt it. It should be deserted. There aren't that many of them, really. It was just that they're stronger and more forceful than the rest of us.”
“So, we should be able to sneak around for a bit without getting caught?”
“We should be able to, but I don't know if any of them will be lurking around. And we'll have to be careful when we get to the areas where they are waiting. They're not going to take kindly to intruders.”
“Okay,” Grace said, and began formulating a plan in her mind. She knew she and Saul alone would not be able to take on even a handful of people in control of the institute, and she couldn't count on Billy in case he lost his grip on his identity again.
“Billy, do you think that if all three of us asked them, we could get some help from the other patients?” Upon hearing this question, Saul rolled his eyes and Billy chewed his lip.
“I don't know, some of them will be scared,” Billy replied.
“Are you serious? This is a terrible plan,” Saul muttered.
“Do you have a better idea?” Grace asked, and when her question was met with silence she told the other two she had made up her mind.
They would go into the institute and try talking to the patients to see if anyone could help them. With more people they hopefully would outnumber their enemies and would be able to overpower them. It was risky, and Grace wasn't entirely sure it would work. She hoped to God that none of the patients would get hurt, as she wasn't sure she could live with that, but Mack and Luis were in trouble, and she was prepared to do almost anything to save them. With that decided, she took a deep breath and opened the door to the supply closet, just a crack at first. Then, when she saw there were no guards, she opened it more fully and stepped out.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
MACK'S HEART echoed in his head as he entered the ward and saw the man pretending to be Dr. Gary Richardson standing over Luis. He was alone, without any of his cronies, and Mack was glad for this, but he was in a quandary about what to do. Did he reveal that he knew the truth, or did he try playing dumb for a little while longer? There were more doubts creeping into his mind now than ever before and he didn't like it. Back when he had been in the military, he knew his role and his purpose and his mission, but now things had become clouded.
The stress of surviving day by day, the strain of maintaining a forlorn hope that he would see his wife again, had sapped his strength. He was unable to think clearly and this proved detrimental to his skills. The natural self-confidence and instinctive action had been dulled and Mack now was spending more time questioning the right decision rather than just trusting his gut and making it. Yet he didn't have any time to analyze himself because people were in danger. He didn't just have himself or Luis to think of, but all the other people in the institute as well, and whatever decision he made would have ramifications for them.
He stood in the doorway, motionless. Luis looked at him, but Mack couldn't discern anything from his expression, and Ethan wore that same crooked half-smile that gave nothing away. It would have been so easy in that moment for Mack to stride across the room and attack Ethan, to try using the element of surprise to his advantage and then subdue him, but he had no idea how Ethan's minions would react. If they got word of what happened before Mack and Luis could do anything, then they could hurt or even kill the other people in the institute. But he also knew that the longer they stayed in the building, the longer he went along with Ethan’s deception, the more danger they were in. Eventually, Ethan would grow tired of their company and would have to decide what to do with them. Given what he had done to Miranda and the others, it
wasn't going to be pretty.
Mack spared a thought for Miranda, too, trying to tell himself that he had had no choice, that the only way to actually get into the building was to sacrifice her, but was that really the truth? He had had doubts about her from the first moment they met, but he should have been able to tell if she was telling the truth. The old Mack would have. Had he lost something in the forest, and if so, would he ever get it back?
The door closed behind him and he swallowed as he looked at the two men before him, one a friend and one an enemy. Ethan, who had been poised over Luis, turned around to face Mack. The shadows of the night played upon Ethan's face and gave Mack a sense of the unknown. Everything hung in the balance, but Mack looked deep down inside himself and then he knew what to do. He was tired of playing this game with Ethan. Mack wanted to show the criminal that he was wise to him, for all this time Ethan had been smug and had been planning a trap. There was no point playing it any other way, the best bet was to try catching Ethan off-guard by displaying his knowledge of the truth. Hopefully, that could give him an opening. With that decided, his face hardened into a grim expression and he marched forward menacingly.
“Get away from him,” he growled. Ethan looked a little shocked and arched an eyebrow, still acting the role of the kind and concerned doctor.
“There's no need to be like that, Mack. I just was looking over your friend here. I was going to offer you the same while you are here. After all, you have been out on the road for a long time now, and all those scrapes and cuts are going to add up. There's no harm in being looked after, and I'm sure we can spare a few bit and pieces to make sure you're well. I have to say, though, you two are quite hardy men. It's impressive, really. I'm sure there are many who would not have fared so well as you given the same conditions.”
“Step away from him,” Mack replied through gritted teeth.
“I know the truth. You're not a doctor. You never were. You're the one responsible for all this. I just went into the office and I saw the file. Gary Richardson's file. You're not the man in the picture. You're Ethan, and Miranda was right all this time,” he said. As he spoke Luis pushed himself against the end of the bed, trying to get away from Ethan. Ethan's head fell and he sighed heavily as he listened to Mack's words.
