“Well then,” I whispered, hoping not to wake her. I bent down and kissed her forehead. I sat there next to her bed for a moment watching her sleep, when I felt my mom’s hand on my shoulder.
“She’ll be fine, Sunshine. Trust me.”
Sunshine was her childhood nickname for me and every now and then she still used it. She said I’d been like a ball of sunshine lighting up her days. I could relate. It was exactly how I felt about Sadie.
We slowly crept out of her room and I left the door slightly ajar, in case she woke up and needed me.
I sat down at the small dining room table and sighed.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I feel so guilty leaving her. Not that you’re not capable of taking care of her, Mom—”
She raised a brow. “I think she’ll be ok. You know, I do have some experience with kids.”
I smiled, catching her meaning. “I know she’ll be fine, I’ll just really miss her.”
Mom nodded. “I get it. It was hard for me to go back to work after I had you. If it weren’t for the fact bills needed to be paid, I would probably have quit.”
“That would have been a terrible decision. You’re the best doctor this town has ever had.”
She smiled proudly. “I know.”
I laughed. My mother had always been confident. Never arrogant, but self-assured. She always seemed to have everything under control and she never lost her cool. I think that’s what made her such a good doctor, she was confident in her skills and cool under pressure, pretty much how she’d been as a mother.
She always made me feel safe and protected. She was always patient with me, even when I was at my worst. I only hoped I would be half the mother she was.
“So, are you excited about the role? I know it’s not Hollywood, but who knows, maybe some agent will see you and say to himself, ‘That one there! We have to hire her! We just have to!’’’ she said, imitating a newscaster voice which made me laugh.
“Did you just try to sound like an anchorwoman?”
She shrugged. “Those are the only actresses I’m familiar with.”
“They’re not actors, Mom.”
“Maybe not by profession, but they pretty much are. They get all dressed up, sit stiffly, and pretend to care about everything they’re saying.”
“Not another tirade about the news…” I whined.
“Ok, I’m done. You sound just like Sadie. I can’t believe whining is genetic.”
We laughed and then her expression suddenly changed and she sat back in her chair. “So, what’s the plan?”
“The plan? To do a great commercial and hope that it leads to more work.”
“Not that plan, Nina. You know what I’m talking about.” She folded her arms across her chest.
“You’re talking about Sadie’s father,” I said with a sigh. I never said his name. Calling him “Sadie’s father” somehow made the relationship seem more clinical… almost as if he were a sperm donor, some anonymous guy, rather than the one who had pretty much ruined me for other men.
“I honestly don’t think there’s anything that I should do.”
“Really?”
“I told you what happened when I tried to talk to him.”
“And you just gave up trying,” my mom said with disapproval.
“I told you what I saw, who I saw him with. He has a family, Mom. I’m a homewrecker.”
“You should have confronted him,” she said angrily. I remembered when I had told her everything that happened. She had immediately started crying and then her tears turned into rage and she was ready to fly out to L.A. to defend me. I had to have multiple conversations with my dad to ensure he wouldn’t let her get on a plane.
When I’d flown back to Georgia and had seen her face, I’d started crying all over again as she held me in the airport, rocking me as if I were a baby again.
I felt like a little girl now as she stared at me waiting for me to answer.
I shrugged. “Mom, we’ve been over this a million times. He has a family. He lied to me. Well, at the very least, he lied by omission. And to be honest, I don’t think his crazy mother would take kindly to me calling him again.”
“That old hag can go screw herself,” my mom growled, catching me off-guard.
“You okay, Mom?” Her words were pretty uncharacteristic of my mild-mannered mother.
“I’m fine. I’m just so mad for you… how humiliating! She had you escorted out like you were a peasant being kicked out of the king’s castle. Just because she has money doesn’t mean she can treat you like that.”
I reached out and placed my hand over hers. “Don’t get yourself worked up. It was years ago.”
She sighed and placed her face in her hands and took a deep breath before looking up at me with a small smile.
“I just get crazy when I think of anyone harming you, especially if that harm is emotional.”
“I get it… I mean, I didn’t really before. I thought you were overprotective and overbearing when I was a teenager.”
“Thanks, Nina,” she said, before becoming serious again. “I think since you’re going to L.A. you should at least try to contact him again. You never got to know your father and I—”
“That’s not your fault,” I said, knowing that my father died when my mother was pregnant with me.
“No, it’s not, I know that. But as your aunt so eloquently put it, you hadn’t exactly been planned, but I wish I’d told him. He died never knowing.”
She looked ready to tear up and I reached for her hand again and squeezed it. “Look at me.” She looked up at me with tear-filled eyes. “You didn’t know he was going to be deployed.”
“Oh,” she said, “he wasn’t in the military.”
“What?”
“I just made that up so that you would have an interesting story to tell the kids at school.”
“Mom!”
“What?”
“Are you freaking kidding me?”
“Watch your tone, young lady. What was I supposed to tell you? That he died when he went skiing for the first time and ran into a tree?”
I opened my mouth and then closed it. “Really?”
“Yes. He wasn’t the most graceful fellow. It’s amazing he could even cross the street without getting hit by a bus.”
“No wonder you were never interested in skiing.”
“Well, that and because I just don’t get winter sports. Who wants to be cold, outdoors and exercising? It’s nonsensical to me.”
“Mom?” I said tiredly, not allowing myself to focus on the fact my mother let me believe a lie she made up for years. I couldn’t even be angry with her. I’d always felt the whole military excuse had been a bit too convenient.
“Yes?”
“I’m going to bed.” I stood up before she could say another word. I kissed her forehead and then headed for my bedroom wondering if when I closed my eyes that night I’d dream of a certain man.
*
“Nina,” the director said. “You were great out there. There was so much passion… so much force. I loved every bit of it except the beginning.” He gave me a sad look. “And maybe a little bit of the end, the middle was good though.”
The makeup artist was fixing my lipstick so I couldn’t immediately respond. Once she was done, I thanked her and turned my attention to Jacob Fox, the director. He was a skinny guy. He was probably about 5’8 and weighed 130 pounds. Even though he was very skinny, he had a gut that fell over the waistband of his pants. He wore large glasses and had a deep Texas accent.
I only had three lines, so I wasn’t sure what “middle” he was talking about. I could only guess it was the actual part of the script where I had lines and wasn’t just sitting there with a stale beer in my hand pretending to be an irresponsible motorist which is what my role really required.
“Ok… what would you like me to do differently?” I said trying to be diplomatic, even though I wanted to ask him what the heck he was talk
ing about.
“I just don’t think you fully understand your character’s motivation,” he said, raising his hands up and artistically making gestures as if I could see whatever he envisioned in his head. “You see, your character is upset, sad, so sad… her new car was just ruined. I need you to give me grief. Come on, Nina, give me your best sorrowful, “woe is me” face.”
He stared at me, not speaking.
“Oh, you mean, now?” I asked.
“Uhh, yeah…”
I did as I was told, hoping it would be good enough.
He shook his head in disappointment. “You don’t look sad, you look melancholic. There’s a difference, you know.”
I was spared any more tips about the difference between sad and melancholic when someone came up and started asking him questions that were apparently a lot more important than lecturing me about the emotions my character should display.
“Don’t pay Fox any mind. He doesn’t know how to treat a lady.”
All the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I knew that voice… I’d been escorted from a building just to hear it.
“So, let me get this right, you’re saying that you do know how to treat a lady?” I said turning around and facing Griffin.
He shrugged. “I try my best.”
He leaned against the wall with his arms folded across his chest. I couldn’t help but study him. After all, it had been years since I laid eyes on him.
Apparently, he planned to do the same. He was completely clean-shaven with a short military cut on top. It was a different look, and he was rocking it… but I didn’t plan to tell him that.
We stood there in silence checking each other out. Not that he’d be impressed by anything I had on. I didn’t exactly look “hot.” I was wearing plain jeans and a heavy sweater, although it was at least 85 degrees outside today. We were filming a winter scene and between the lights and my wardrobe, I was burning up. My body told me I was burning up for another reason but I didn’t dwell on it. I wasn’t some starry-eyed, horny 22-year old anymore. Things had changed. I had changed.
And I realized with my newfound confidence that I wasn’t scared of facing Griffin anymore.
“You’re looking great,” he said, giving me a warm, but cautious smile.
I ignored it. “I know. Anyway, I got to get back to work. Nice seeing you again.”
I walked away from him feeling powerful. For once, I truly felt that when Griffin was concerned I had the upper hand. But of course, he didn’t give up that easily.
He fell into stride next to me. “So, you aren’t happy to see me? What’s it been? Three? Four years?”
I rolled my eyes. So, he was going to play dumb, huh? Pretend the whole escorting me out of the office with the help of security didn’t happen.
“How’s your mother?” I spit out.
He looked at me curiously. “Fine. Why do you ask?”
I stopped dead in my tracks and stood chest to chest with him, albeit I was several inches shorter.
“Let’s not play games, Griffin. We all know that I showed up nearly four years ago to see you and you didn’t see me.”
“I was told that you left abruptly. When I came out to get you, you had already left.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. “Left abruptly? I was escorted out by your security guards.”
“What?” he said, clearly taken aback.
I narrowed my eyes. I could remember the events of that office visit like it was yesterday, and I found it hard to believe that he didn’t know anything about me being kicked out by his security guards after all these years.
But as I looked in his eyes, I saw no guile there.
“You really don’t know what happened at your office when I came to speak with you?”
He opened his mouth to answer when someone hustled over to me and started pulling me to the set. “We need you, now. Come on, let’s make it rain for this lame insurance company.”
I let her pull me away, but I glanced back at Griffin. I wondered exactly what else he didn’t know. If he didn’t know that I was escorted out by security, he probably also didn’t know that I had arranged to meet him later on. I’d always suspected and knew deep down that Mrs. Wallace had made sure Griffin had never met with me, but that still didn’t explain how he could have sex with me when he was a married man with a family.
I pushed away my burgeoning curiosity and instead focused on looking sad, but not melancholy, for the camera.
*
Hours later I made my way to a bar with a few other people from the set. I honestly didn’t know what they all did, but most of them were friendly and seemed like a pretty decent crowd. I was staying with my cousin Kenny again, but I didn’t think he’d want to spend all his free time entertaining me, so I figured I might as well make some friends and I also wanted dirt on Griffin. Just exactly what was he doing there? Why was he hanging out on the set of an insurance commercial? From what I could gather from my recent internet stalking, he was into artificial intelligence and had added to his family’s fortune that way. He wasn’t into insurance or commercials. I didn’t know all the details, but from what I could tell, his money came from advancements in technology. Silicon Valley was more his scene, not L.A. No wonder his mom had an extra $250,000 hanging around.
I found the rest of the group and sat down. A handsome young man with dimples that reminded me of Sadie’s offered me a seat. I tried my best to remember his name. It was something with a J. Jeremy? Jason? Johnny?
Jerry! That was his name. I think he was a production assistant or an intern. I smiled brightly at him, and he offered me a drink.
“Thanks, Jerry,” I said as he handed me a beer. I took a long sip, forgetting how much I liked a nice cold beer. I barely drank at all since having Sadie. I’d never been a big drinker, but given how I was her main caretaker, I liked to be sure I was fully capable of taking care of her at all times, so I rarely drank except for the occasional spritzer at my mom’s house during the holidays.
A few other people joined us and we sat cracking jokes and enjoying good company. The bar was kind of on the dingy side, but had a pretty hip vibe with all the cool global items that adorned the walls.
“So, Nina, I thought I detected a southern accent?” said Jerry as he sat across from me. He was cute. I would guess he was barely 20 though, and he had an adorable baby face. Definitely not my type. Too pretty.
“Yep. Georgia.”
“Born and raised?”
“Yep,” I said, “What about you?” I said feeling relaxed. Raising Sadie was a full-time commitment, and other than speaking to my parents I didn’t get much adult conversation. Even if Jerry was years younger than me, it was definitely nice to relax and have a laid-back conversation with a peer.
“Grew up in Rahway, New Jersey, and have no intention of going back. It’s easily the most depressing place on Earth.”
“That’s harsh.”
“So was life in Rahway,” he joked. “Dark, gray, miserable.” He playfully shuddered and smiled at me.
I smiled back. I had a feeling that Jerry was flirting with me. I felt a little bad that I wasn’t even remotely attracted to him. He was a nice guy, I could tell, but not the type I dated. Not that I dated much anymore. I actually hadn’t had a date since before I met Griffin. I internally winced…
What was I doing with my life? Oh yeah, raising a beautiful little girl.
Thinking about her, I realized that I was a few minutes late of my scheduled call home.
“Excuse me, Jerry. I’ll be right back. I just have to make a quick call.” I hoped he didn’t assume I had faked a call to try to get away from him. I didn’t want to hurt the poor guy’s feelings. But it was just as well, I’d have to break it to him anyway that not only wasn’t I interested, but that I lived states away and had no intention of sticking around in L.A.
I got up and made my way to the outside of the bar and dialed my mother’s number. She picked it up immediately.
&
nbsp; “Hi!” she said happily. And then quickly came the questions. “Did you Skype your dad? He’s worried about you.”
“Ughh,” I said popping my forehead with the heel of my hand. I totally forgot.
“He’s going to be so worried.”
I already felt guilty enough about forgetting. “Don’t worry, I’ll call him. Is Sadie sleeping? If so, don’t wake her. Sorry for my late call, I got distracted here by… things.”
“No, she’s not sleeping. Let me get her. Do you want to see her? I can do a video call…”
“Yes, please.”
Excited about seeing her little face, I could barely stop smiling from ear to ear. I know it had been less than a day but I missed her the moment I left her behind.
She had been my everything and had kept me from succumbing to my own stupid emotions, which alternated between animosity and hatred towards Griffin.
“Hi! Mommy!” she said again with a giggle.
“What’s so funny?” I asked giving her my best impression of one of her favorite cartoon characters.
She giggled even more.
Finally, my mom stepped in and said, “Tell her what you did today.”
“I ate chicken nuggets. I played. I want to watch TV.”
“Of course, you do,” I said with a smile. “But can’t you talk a little bit more to your mom here? I’ve missed you so.” I made an exaggerated sad face, which made her giggle.
“I miss you too, Mommy!” Sadie said.
We spoke for a little while longer and then I ended the call. Right on time it seemed as I looked up and found Griffin heading towards the bar. Who had invited him?
“Care for some company?” he asked, holding the door open for me. I muttered a thank you and quickly rushed past him. I didn’t want to get too close to him. His presence was unnerving, so much so that I found myself still talking.
“I have plenty of company. Jerry, for example.” I was surprised by my own comment. Was I subconsciously trying to make Griffin jealous?
He scoffed. “Jerry? He’s barely out of his teens and he’s hitting on you?”
Mission accomplished. Apparently, he was jealous.
Billionaire Retreat Page 7
