As Ariana sat in the apartment, reading what they had sent her, she desperately wanted to reach Paul, But he had sought refuge with his parents, and under no circumstances would he take her calls. Instead, he spoke to her through his attorney, the arrangements were begun, the divorce suit was filed, the Liebmans shut her out, and on December twenty-fourth, shortly after midnight, one month early, Ariana went into labor all alone.
Her bravado faded then, as, momentarily, did her courage. She was paralyzed with fear of the unknown, and of her aloneness but she was able to reach the doctor and got to the hospital in a cab.
Twelve hours later Ariana was still in the throes of her labor, and she was almost incoherent with the pain. Frightened, frantic, still shocked by what had happened with Paul and the Liebmans, she was in no condition to deal with what was happening, and time and again she screamed for Manfred, until at last they gave her something for the pain. At ten o'clock on Christmas night the baby was finally delivered, by Cesarean section, but despite the difficulties of the labor neither mother nor baby had come to any harm. They showed him to Ariana briefly, a tiny bundle of wrinkled flesh with the smallest hands and feet that she had ever seen.
He didn't look like her or like Manfred, or like Gerhard or her father. He didn't look like anyone at all.
What will you call him? The nurse asked her softly as she held Ariana's hand.
I don't know. She was so tired, and he was so little she wondered if it was all right that he was so small. But through the pain and the anesthetic, she still felt a warm glow of joy.
It's Christmas, you could call him Noel.
Noel? Ariana thought for a minute, smiling in her drug-filled half-sleep. Noel? That's pretty. And then, turning her face toward where she imagined the baby, she smiled a peaceful smile. Noel von Tripp, she said to herself and fell asleep.
Chapter 43
Exactly four weeks after the birth of the baby, Ariana stood in the front hall with the last of their bags. As per the arrangement, she was vacating the apartment, and she already had the baby all bundled up in the cab. They were going to a hotel a nurse at the hospital had recommended. It was cozy and inexpensive, and the proprietress would serve meals. So soon after the Cesarean, Ariana wasn't really supposed to be up. One more time she had attempted to reach Paul at his office, and then once more she had allowed herself to try him at home. But it was useless. He wouldn't speak to her. It was over. He had sent her the five thousand dollars. All he wanted now was her keys.
She closed the door softly behind them, and with her clothes and her baby, her photographs of Manfred, and her volume of Shakespeare with a compartment for rings, she began her new life. She had already sent back the large diamond Paul had given her, and she was once again wearing Manfred's rings. Somehow they felt more right on her fingers, and she knew now that she would never take them off again. She would be Ariana von Tripp forever. If it seemed wiser in the States, she would drop the von, but she would never betray her old life, she would never lie or pretend anymore about who and what she was. She had suffered at the hands of the Nazis, yet she knew better than anyone that the Nazis were only a horde of men, and in the horde somewhere there had been some good ones. She would never betray Manfred again.
He was the husband she would cherish for a lifetime. He was the man she would talk of to her son. The man who had bravely served his country and the woman who had loved him until the very end. She would tell him about his grandfather and sweet Gerhard. Perhaps she would even tell him that she had married Paul, but she wasn't sure. She knew she had been wrong to try to deceive him, but she had paid for that dearly, too, in the end. But, she smiled down at the sleeping baby, she would always have her son.
Chapter 44
When Noel was two months old, Ariana had answered an ad in the paper and gotten a job in a bookshop that specialized in foreign books. They allowed her to bring the baby and paid her a tiny wage on which, at least, she and the baby could survive.
Ariana ' you really ought to do it. The young woman was looking at her intensely as Ariana tried to keep an eye on her roving child. She had worked at the bookstore for over a year now and Noel had learned to walk early, and he was already fascinated by the bright books stacked on shelves near the floor.
I don't think I want anything from them, Mary.
Yes, but don't you want something for the baby? Do you want to be doing this kind of work for the rest of your life? Ariana looked at her hesitantly. It won't hurt to ask. And you're not asking them for charity, you're asking them for what's yours.
What was mine. That's different. When I left, it was all in the Nazis' hands.
At least go to the consulate and ask them. Mary was insistent, and Ariana decided that maybe she would ask on her next day off. The German government had instated a system whereby the people who had lost goods and property at the hands of the Nazis could now ask the government for some compensation for their loss. She had no proof of what had belonged to her, either the house in Grunewald or Manfred's family schloss, which also, by right, would be hers.
Two weeks later on a Thursday, her day off, she rolled Noel's pram to the consulate, It was a cold, blustery day in March, and she almost hadn't gone out for fear that it might snow. But she bundled the baby into his heavy blanket and walked inside the impressive bronze door.
Bitte? May I help you? For an instant Ariana only stared. It had been so long since Ariana had heard her own language, seen a European, or seen things done in the official way she was used to that for a moment all she could do was look around her in astonishment It was as though in a single instant she had been transported home. Slowly, she began to answer and to explain why she had come. And to her surprise she was treated with the utmost respect and courtesy, given the information she desired and a raft of forms to fill out, and told to come back next week.
When she returned, there was a fairly large crowd in the lobby. She had the forms all filled out in her pocket, and all she had to do now was wait for an interview with some minor consulate official who would process them through. And then who knew how long it would all take? Maybe years if she got anything from them at all. But it was worth a try.
As she stood at the consulate, Noel sleeping in his pram, she couldn't resist the urge to close her eyes and Imagine herself at home again. Around her everywhere were Germans, the sounds of Bavaria, of Munich, of Leipzig, of Frankfurt, and then the patter of Berlin. It sounded so sweet and familiar, and yet at the same time it was painful, too. Among all those familiar words and accents and sayings, not a familiar voice could she hear. And then suddenly, as though she were dreaming, she felt someone grab her arm, there was a quick exclamation, an intake of breath, and when she looked up, she was staring into a pair of familiar brown eyes. They were eyes that she had seen before somewhere ' eyes she had known ' and seen for the last time only three years before.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! And then suddenly she was crying. It was Max ' Max Thomas ' and without thinking, she hurled herself into his arms. For what seemed like hours he held her tightly while they both laughed and cried. He hugged her, he kissed her, he held the baby for both it was a dream they had never thought would come true. And then, huddled in the hallway as they waited, she told him of her father and of Gerhard and of how they had lost their home. And then she told him quietly of Manfred; no longer afraid or ashamed, she told Max that she had loved him, that they had been married, and that Noel was his son. But she discovered quickly that, with the exception of Noel, he knew about all that. He had scoured Berlin for her and her father after the war.
Did you look for them after the war, Ariana?
She hesitated for a moment and then shook her head. I didn't really know how. My husband said that he was certain my father was dead. And then I contacted a friend of his in Paris, a man who ran a refugee assistance organization of sorts, before I left Europe. He checked out every possible lead, looking for any trace of them, especially of Gerhard. She sighed softly. He even tri
ed to trace you, but there was no sign of you ' or of Gerhard And then suddenly the full impact of what she had just said struck her. There had been no trace of Max and he was alive couldn't Gerhard be, too? She looked thunderstruck for a moment and Max gently took her face in his hands as he shook his head from side to side.
Don't They're gone, Ariana. I know it. I looked, too. After the war, I went back to Berlin, to try to reach your father, and ' He had been about to say to see you. I heard from the men at the bank in Berlin what happened.
What did they tell you?
That he disappeared. And that with hindsight, pretty much everyone knew that he had gone to save Gerhard from the draft There is absolutely no trace of your father, nor of Gerhard. Once in Switzerland a maid in a hotel recognized a photograph I had of him, thought that he looked like a boy who'd been there a year or so before, but she wasn't sure, and after she looked at the photograph for a while, she was certain it wasn't the same boy. I went back to Switzerland and searched for them for three months. He sighed deeply and leaned heavily against the wall. I think the border patrol got them, Ariana. It's the only answer that makes any sense. If they were alive, they'd have eventually gone back to Berlin. And they never did. I've stayed in touch. Hearing it from him now made it real once again, and he was right. If they'd been alive, they would have turned up, and if Max had stayed in touch with people at the bank in Berlin, then it was certain. Hearing it made the news seem fresh again and she felt grief tear once more at her heart He put an arm around her shoulders and with one hand smoothed down her golden hair. You know, it's amazing. I knew you had come to the States, Ariana, but I didn't think I'd ever see you again.
She turned to him in amazement You knew? How?
I told you, I looked for all three of you. I had to. I owed your father my life and ' He looked boyish for a moment. I never ' forgot that evening ' the night that ' , He lowered his voice. ' I kissed you. Do you remember? '
She looked at him sadly. Do you really think that I'd forget?
You could have. It's been a long time.
It's been a long road for all of us. But you remembered. So did I. And then she remembered something else. She still wanted to know all the details of the story. How did you know I'd come to the States?
I don't know. It was just a hunch. I thought that it was safe to assume that if you'd survived the fall of Berlin, you hadn't stayed. As the wife of a German officer ' You see, I knew. He hesitated for only an instant, his eyes looking deep into hers. Were you forced to do that?
She shook her head. Was her lifetime to be filled with denying that? No, Max, I wasn't. He was a wonderful man. She remembered suddenly Hildebrand and General Ritter ' and Von Rheinhardt and the endless interrogations' . Coming back here, listening to the countless conversations around her in German brought it all back. But now she pulled her attention back to Max. He saved my life, Max. There was a long pause between them, and then he pulled her slowly into his arms. I heard from someone that he'd been killed. She nodded somberly in confirmation. So I tried various possibilities, and France was one. The immigration people in Paris had a record of issuing you temporary travel papers. I knew the date you left France. I traced you to Saint Marne. She was touched beyond words.
What made you search so hard?
I felt that I owed your father something, Ariana. I hired a detective to look for you all when I got back to Berlin. And of your father and Gerhard he hesitated painfully "there was no trace. And then he smiled softly. But you, Liebchen, I knew you were alive, and I didn't want to give up.
Then why did you? Why didn't you look here? Surely Jean-Pierre must have told you I came to New York.
He did. Did you know he died?
Jean-Pierre? Dead? She was rocked by the news.
He died in a car accident outside Paris. There was a moment of silence between them and then he went on.
He gave me the name of some people in New Jersey. I wrote to them and they claimed that they never even met you. They admitted that they were supposed to be your sponsors, but they had changed their minds. Slowly Ariana recalled the sponsors in New Jersey. They had faded from her life as she had lain half-dead in the hospital.
They wrote that they didn't know who had become your sponsors, and no one else seemed to know either. The people who took over Saint Marne's files in Paris had no idea. It was only months after I came here myself that someone at the Women's Relief Organization told me about the Liebmans. But when I went there to talk to them myself, things became confused.
Ariana felt her heart race nervously at the sound of the name.
What did they say? , She looked strangely anxious.
They said that they'd never seen you either and that they had no idea where you were. Mrs. Liebman said she recalled the name but had no further information to give me. Ariana nodded slowly. She could imagine Ruth doing that. She was so angry at Ariana that she would deny everything now, especially her marriage to their son. Slowly Ariana's eyes rose until she was looking at Max with an expression that told him there was much more.
I never found anv trace of you after that.
It doesn't matter, Max. She touched his arm gently. You found me after all. She hesitated for a moment and then decided to tell him. Why not? Ruth Liebman lied to you. I was married to her son. Max looked astonished as she told him, and looking very small and pale, she went on until she had told him all of it, keeping nothing back, and there were tears in his eyes as he listened. Without realizing it, he took her hand and she held it tightly as she told him the story from beginning to end.
And now?
I'm waiting for the divorce. It will be final in July.
I'm sorry, Ariana. What more can I say?
It was my own fault. I shouldn't have done it the way I did, but I was stupid and foolish. I'm only sorry because now I've lost them all, and they were very special people. Ruth saved my life-and Noel's.
Perhaps one day they'll change their minds.
I doubt it.
And the little one? Max smiled pensively, remembering his own children at the same age. What is his name?
Noel. , Ariana returned Max's smile. He was born on Christmas.
What a nice gift for you. And then with a tender look at Ariana, Was anyone with you? She shook her head slowly. I'm sorry, Ariana. But she was sorry for them all. How far they had come, and how much they had lost over the past few years. Only she seemed to be lucky as she looked around at the people waiting to make their claims she had much-treasured Noel, and he had been worth it all.
And what about you? Still waiting in the consular hallways, he told her that her father's paintings had kept him alive through the war and not only allowed him to eat, but to go to law school become an attorney again once he got to the States.
He had remained in Switzerland until the end of the war, working at odd jobs, living hand to mouth, waiting, until V-E Day, when he had finally sold the last of the paintings and shortly thereafter gone to the States, and that had been two years before.
And now he was finally officially once more a lawyer, which was what brought him here. He wanted to establish his own claim and then make an arrangement with the consulate to handle many of the claims that were going to come in droves. He was hoping the consulate would recommend him since he was certified in Germany and the States.
It won't make me rich, hut it's a living. And you?
Did you get anything out, Ariana?
My skin, a few pieces of jewelry and Manfred's photographs. He nodded slowly, remembering all they had once had, the splendor of her father's house. It seemed incredible that they had all come so far and that there was nothing left of that world. Only memories and trinkets, souvenirs and dreams.
For Max they were memories to which he couldn't have borne to return.
Do you ever think about going back, Ariana?
Not really. I have no more there than I do here, I have no one except Noel now. And here it will be a good life for him.
I hope so. Max smiled at him gently, reminded of his own sons. And then he took Noel carefully from his mother and tousled his hair. Standing there together, they looked like a family, laughing, happy, united; and no one, except others who had been there, would have believed the long road they had come.
Book Four
NOEL
Chapter 45
The ceremony took place on a brilliantly sunny morning in Harvard Yard between the Widener Library and the Appleton Chapel. There seemed to be a sea of sparkling young faces and tall, lean bodies draped in cap and gown, waiting to receive the diplomas they had struggled toward for so long. Ariana watched them, smiling mistily, as Max sat beside her on the narrow folding chairs, holding her hand and noticing how the large emerald she now wore constantly sparkled in the sun.
Doesn't he look handsome, Max? She leaned gently toward the distinguished white-haired gentleman he had become, and he patted her arm and smiled.
the Ring (1980) Page 29
