“Does the craving ever disappear?”
I let out a dry laugh. “No, Ashley. It’s in your nature to be a predator now. You need to learn control. It’s possible. Vivienne did it. She never once drank human blood. Ever.”
“And she just lived on animal blood? I can’t stand it! Compared to human blood…”
I grabbed her by the wrist in surprise. “You’ve had human blood?”
“Yes…I…”
“You’ve killed.”
She shook her head, her eyes showing how nervous she was. “No. I drank blood from the chilling chambers.”
The mention of the chambers only reminded me of the culling and the reason behind Sofia’s avoidance of me.
“There isn’t enough left to sustain The Shade…we consume too much blood. There are too many of us now. The Naturals are in constant danger of a vampire losing it and going after them, but we can’t go on with the abductions either…”
“And yet there are still three girls in your harem now.”
“I didn’t want that. I had them sent to Sofia to help her out in The Catacombs. I haven’t seen them since.”
“So you haven’t been seeing Sofia?”
My silence was enough of an answer.
“Why?”
I told Ashley about the culling, about why I thought it was necessary. “If I let the culling happen, do you think Sofia will ever be able to forgive me?”
Ashley was quiet for quite some time as we walked on. “She’s been able to forgive you for a lot. I don’t even think she’ll blame you, but I think it will definitely wreck her. Gwen’s death was something that she took quite heavily. For months, she had to spend every day having those psychological treatments with Corrine in order to get through that. Imagine what a murder of that scale would do to her.”
“If I stop the culling, what happens? How do we survive?”
Ashley grew silent once again. As we walked on, she eventually admitted, “I don’t think I can live on animal blood, Derek.”
My jaw clenched. “I don’t know if I can either.”
We continued to walk in silence, allowing ourselves to mull over what was about to come and what we ought to do about it. It didn’t take long before we bumped into Cameron and Liana, holding hands. Liana was laughing over something Cameron whispered in her ear.
I always did envy the couple from the moment I met them. Both of them had been turned not long after Liana gave birth to their second child—a daughter. Their firstborn was a son. They spent the first decades of their lives as vampires securing a future for their children, while still being away from them. They couldn’t risk losing control around the kids, so they had to leave the children with trusted friends. To that day, they still knew and kept track of their children’s descendants spanning centuries upon centuries of beautiful, loving families.
Whenever I saw Cameron and Liana together, I couldn’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like to fall in love before I had become what I was.
If Sofia would just agree to become a vampire, we could be like them.
I shook the thought away. I once again chastised myself for still entertaining the notion. I shifted my focus back to the couple whom we were quickly approaching.
Liana’s face broke into a smile at the sight of us. Still, I didn’t miss the hint of concern in her eyes. Even Cameron was looking at me worriedly. They were two of our family’s closest friends and most loyal allies. Next to Sofia and Vivienne, they knew me better than most vampires at The Shade.
“So this is the newest addition to our coven…” Cameron eyed Ashley knowingly. “How do you find being a bloodsucker so far?’
“It’s a lot like starving.” Ashley nodded resolutely. “Every minute of the day.”
Liana chuckled. “You’ll get used to it.”
“You mean it’s always going to be like this?” Her eyes grew wide with horror.
Cameron and I nodded in an attempt to scare her. “Uh-huh,” we both said.
Liana rolled her eyes. “No. It gets easier the older you get…don’t listen to them.” She then eyed me and Ashley. “Where’s Sofia?”
“On the farm with Gavin, I suspect.”
“Have you told her about the culling?” Liana was never really one to beat around the bush and with Ashley being one of us, there wasn’t much sense in keeping things confidential.
I nodded.
Cameron shuffled uncomfortably on his feet. “How’d she take it?”
“Her exact words were, ‘I will fight tooth and nail against this, Derek.’ “
Cameron let out a low whistle as his hand protectively snaked around Liana’s waist. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
“You explained that it’s necessary?” Liana pried.
“How do you justify something that she sees as a bloody massacre?” I couldn’t help but scoff. “You can’t tell someone like Sofia that murder is necessary.”
No words were spoken. We’d been trying to reconcile the past culling with our consciences and we all knew that no matter how much we tried to bend the rules of what’s moral and what’s not, what was done was exactly what Sofia called it—a massacre. None of us could justify it other than that we needed it to happen in order to survive.
The strong prey on the weak. Survival of the fittest. Is that not what people laud as the law of nature? If they survive, we don’t.
I let out an exasperated sigh, unable to hide how torn I was over the whole thing. I ran a hand over my hair, longing to once again be in Sofia’s good graces. “She hasn’t spoken to me in days,” I complained. I miss her so much.
Liana gave me a long, meaningful look. “Vivienne saw it immediately. I didn’t.”
“See what?” Cameron and Ashley asked in unison before giving me an odd look.
“You’ve changed, Derek. With her in your life, you’re a different man.”
I studied her, wondering what she was getting at. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“We’ll have to wait and see, won’t we?”
For some reason, the fact that she would imply that Sofia could have a negative effect on me grated on my nerves. “You are the three vampires in this island who ought to value human life more than anyone else. You.” I pointed at Ashley. “Because you were still human barely a week ago. And you two.” I then pointed at the couple.“Because you have generations of human descendants whom you love deeply.”
“That’s different…” Cameron began to stand in defense.
“Why is it different? Is a human less human just because he was born at The Shade?” I shook my head, angrier at myself than I was with them. I knew Sofia was right. What we were about to do was a massacre. I couldn’t justify it. Nobody could, but it felt like I had no choice. The Elite might have stood with me against the abductions, but how on earth could I possibly make them agree to cutting off their only supply of human blood? “I can’t stand this. I need to be alone.”
I sped forward, brushing past the couple before any of them could come up with a response. I had no idea how far I’d gone or how long I’d been moving, but I eventually reached a clearing that led me to the Vale. Just as I emerged from the woods, Sofia and Gavin were coming out of the town.
They were laughing with Sofia rolling her eyes as she playfully chucked Gavin’s jaw with her fist. The fact that she’d barely looked my way whenever I visited her, combined with her stupid excuses for not spending time with me, made seeing her with Gavin infuriating.
Jealousy reared its ugly head and I wasn’t able to hold myself back. I just saw red and all I wanted to do at that moment was snap the Natural’s neck in two.
Chapter 22: Sofia
It all happened so fast, I could barely catch up with what was going on. One minute, I was exchanging jokes and witty banter with Gavin. The next minute, he was lying on the ground, staring defiantly at Derek. One look at Derek’s blue eyes was enough to let me know that he was more t
han ready to make a kill.
“Derek…” I had meant to shout, but his name came out in a breathless, choked whisper.
Derek’s hand coiled around Gavin’s neck. “So this is why you’ve been avoiding me? To be with him?”
It was as if Derek wasn’t there. His blue gaze seemed vacant and deadly in a surreal way. Gavin was choking but there was no fear in his eyes—just resignation. I, on the other hand, was panicking.
“Derek…” I held him by the arm, wondering if this was one of his blackouts. He didn’t even seem to feel my touch. “Come back to me.”
He let go of Gavin’s neck and for a moment, I thought that I’d succeeded in getting through to him, only to find myself completely knocked out of breath when Derek pushed me to the ground, away from him. He then held Gavin down by the shoulders and stared, as if wondering how he wanted to kill him.
I was about to approach Derek again, but Gavin glared at me. “Don’t come near, Sofia. He’s out of it. He doesn’t have control. You’ll only get yourself hurt.”
I shook my head. “No…I can get through to him. I know I can.” And I did it the only way I knew how. I tentatively approached and placed a gentle kiss on Derek’s lips. I was surprised when one hand gripped my arm painfully while the other found my neck.
He pulled his lips away from me and growled before pushing me away again. Within a couple of seconds, he was kneeling over me, straddling my hips, as he pushed my head to one side, clearing my neck for a bite.
I recalled the times in the past when this had happened between us—with him threatening to hurt me and me talking him out of it. This felt different. It felt like the man I loved wasn’t even there for me to speak to. It was as if the curse was in control of Derek. For a moment, I was tempted to accept my fate the same way Gavin was about to. I looked at him and knew that he wasn’t about to risk his life by doing anything to stop Derek. It was every man for his own at The Shade and in Gavin’s eyes, I’d signed my death certificate when I dared to interfere.
Derek’s grip over my shoulder and jaw tightened as he moved over me and just as he was about to bite, all I could think of doing was hum. At first, I couldn’t even recognize the tune I was humming, but I knew that it was something familiar, a tune I held dear to my heart. A smile formed on my face when I realized what it was. The tune I was humming was the same one that he hummed to me the night of my birthday when he danced with me in the lighthouse.
Tears began to moisten my eyes as I remembered how treasured and special he made me feel that day. Guilt also took hold of me considering the way I avoided him the past few days. He didn’t deserve that and I knew it, but I loved him for understanding anyway and giving me the space that I needed. I could feel his fangs on my neck, sinking deeper and deeper. I shut my eyes as he was about to break skin, still humming that song…that tune that played only inside his creative mind, where numerous symphonies must’ve already taken place.
I bit my lip anticipating the pain that was sure to come. Then nothing.
After a moment’s silence, Derek began to swear. “Sofia…” he choked, as he helped me to my feet. “What have I done? I’m so sorry. Sofia, I…”
“I’m alright. I’m not hurt.”
He stared at me like I was a precious ornament that he’d just broken.
“Derek…”
Before I could say anything, he had his lips on mine, kissing me like he hadn’t in a long time. Demanding. Passionate. Hungry. It’s like he poured out every pent up emotion he had into that one kiss. I could feel my knees weaken beneath me, making me lean my entire weight on me, realizing just how much I missed the security of his arms around me.
When our lips parted, we stared at each other for a few moments. I could sense the guilt he was feeling. I knew Derek. I knew that he was beating himself up over what had just occurred.
“I love you,” I assured him. “Nothing’s changed.”
A bitter smile formed on his face as he nodded. “That just makes me feel more like a monster, Sofia. Like I don’t deserve you.”
He walked away and just as I was about to hold him back, he used his lightning speed to get away from me.
I stood rooted to my spot staring at the direction he went off to for a few minutes, wondering if I should follow him. When I was about to make a run for where I thought he was headed, Gavin held me back.
“Let him go. There’s no way you can catch up with him.”
“I think I know where he went.” The Lighthouse. I realized then that I had no idea how to get to the Lighthouse without Derek. There was no way I could make the hundred-foot leap down the fortress without him. I looked Gavin’s way. I had actually forgotten he was there for a while. I sighed. He looked nothing like my best friend, but he reminded me so much of Ben and how easygoing things were when I was around him. This time, however, Gavin was looking at me in a different way—like he was in a daze, blinking several times in disbelief.
“I’ve never seen anything like that,” he finally spoke, amazement evident in his voice.
“Anything like what?” I asked.
“That! Sofia, the way you get to him…it’s amazing. What were you humming? Will it work on all vamps?”
“It was a tune Derek made up on my birthday. We danced to it while were at the…” I caught myself, remembering that no one apart from me and Derek knew about the Lighthouse. I creased my brows at Gavin and quickly changed the subject. “Can’t everybody do that? Calm a vampire?”
“Calm a vampire?!” Gavin spat the words out like it was the most laughable thing he’d ever heard of. He shook his head profusely as he snickered. “No…not everybody can do that. When a vampire loses it, they lose it. Of all the years I’ve been here, I’ve never seen a human survive a vampire attack unscathed or unbitten when the vampire goes into blackouts. The vampire attacks, destroys, ruins. Only their own kind can stop them, and it’s usually through bloody violence, but you…” He stared at me like I was the most magical thing he’d ever laid eyes on. “It’s like you put a spell on him. How did you do it?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head, still feeling the longing ache I had for Derek. “I just matter to him I guess.”
“That’s really what amazes me. Why do you matter that much? What do you have on him?”
I ask myself the same question every day. I hated the idea that I could be important to him only because of the prophecy or the fact that Vivienne lost her life in exchange for mine—thus, securing my value in Derek’s eyes. “We’re in love,” was the only answer I could think of that would satisfy my own insecurities and doubts about why Derek wanted me around.
“Yeah? Well, I hope the love lasts. We could use someone among us capable of taming the prince…”
At that, it was my turn to scoff. “Derek isn’t some beast that ought to be tamed.” I was surprised at my own indignation. The word just rubbed me the wrong way, because it reminded me of Ben calling himself my Prince Charming and me his Rose Red, only for me to end up with the Beast. “Derek is many things, but he isn’t a monster.”
“Sure. If you say so.” Gavin lightly chuckled. He crossed his arms over his chest, both of us still looking in the direction where Derek went off. “Remind me again why you’re avoiding him…”
I gave Gavin a long, thoughtful look before deciding that I could trust him with what I knew. “I think this is something we ought to talk about in private.”
We ended up meandering along the woods—not the safest place for humans at The Shade—on a long route to The Catacombs. That’s where I hesitantly told Gavin about the plan to have another culling.
Most of the walk consisted of a question asked and answered, then immediately followed by a long, tense silence, before another question could be asked. By the time we reached The Catacombs, both of us were heartbroken.
We were already on the level of The Catacombs below where my quarters were when a beautiful young woman with black hair, pale skin and stunning moss green eyes approached
Gavin.
“Hi, Gavin…” she greeted shyly as she fidgeted with her fingers.
Gavin’s sharp eyes softened at the sight of her. “Hello, Anna…how’ve you been?” he asked in a manner so patronizing, it was almost as if he was talking to a child.
I then remembered what he told me before when he was talking about Migrates used and discarded by vampires who once professed love to them. I could introduce you to one. Anna—stunning beauty, but degraded to nothing but a whimpering child.
I stared at her, suddenly becoming uncomfortable. Gavin was right. She was gorgeous, but her eyes—though beautiful—were vacant of life. I wondered what the vampire could’ve done to her to make her thus. I also wondered who the vampire who did this to her was. I quickly got my answer.
“They took my doll…” Anna told Gavin. “Felix gave me that doll, and they took it. Felix will get so mad…he always gets mad when I lose things and I get in a lot of trouble for it.”
“Forget Felix, Anna. He won’t cause you any trouble anymore,” Gavin assured her. “Now tell me…who took your doll?”
“The guys…”
Fury sparked in Gavin’s eyes. “What guys? They were in your cell? Did they do anything to you?”
The thoughts that flashed through my mind at what Gavin was implying made me sick.
“The guys who visited this morning, of course,” Anna explained, a flash of fear glazing her wide-eyed and innocent countenance. “They took my doll. I want my doll back.”
“I’ll get it back, Anna…” Gavin’s lips tightened as he nodded in assurance. “I promise.”
Anna threw her arms around Gavin and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you!” she exclaimed happily before skipping off to wherever she spent her time.
Gavin’s eyes were glued on her, the expression in his eyes torn. “She shouldn’t be living alone, but she refuses to live with anyone else. She has it in her head that Felix will return and she doesn’t want him finding her with another guy. She’s still afraid he’ll hurt her.”
A Castle of Sand Page 11
