I closed it again with a smile.
“Delivery go okay?” I asked Cameron as I walked into the shop.
“Yep. Fine. And I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes.”
I did as asked.
“Open them.”
I opened my eyes to find a hoodie held up in front of me. It was a light oatmeal color and bore our name and logo.
“I had it sent to Baron’s so you couldn’t intercept it. It’s a sample item. I thought we might sell them in the store to tourists. It’s eco clothing. This one is in your size so you can model it and even wear it out running.”
I felt at the hoodie. “It’s so soft. I love it,” I told him.
And I did. But I didn’t love the fact he’d done this without discussing it with me. Didn’t love the fact he wanted me to wear it running around Liars. Me in bamboo, the other women in Balenciaga.
“I’ll change into it now and let you know how it feels. We need to see if there would be any interest in such a thing. I’ll design some kind of anonymous survey card today and get it on the counter.”
“And that’s why we live and work so well together. We complete each other.” Cameron moved closer and dipped his head down to mine, kissing me. I broke his kiss and snatched the hoodie from his hands. “I’ll go get changed. Get behind that counter ready for the morning rush.”
The morning sped by as usual. I was getting ready for a restroom break when my eyes saw a flash of dark brown and as if I just knew, there he was, Cabin Guy, standing at the back of the queue. I kept my eyes on my current customer, not wanting to look at him properly until he was closer. Keeping him like a wrapped Christmas present for in case the contents ended up being a source of disappointment. I wondered which of the two of us would end up serving him and prayed it would be me.
My prayers were answered as I turned to Cabin Guy, smiled at him and asked him what I could get him. He was no disappointment. My heart thudded in my chest. The first thing I noticed was his pink plump lips as they ordered a latte with an extra shot.
“Tired this morning, are you?” It would seem like the normal polite chitchat of a barista, but I was searching in the limited time I would have.
Did you stay up all night fucking?
Did you get drunk?
Could you not sleep?
Hidden questions in my brain.
He nodded, his mouth opening to answer, revealing a perfect white smile. “I never sleep well the first night somewhere new. Hopefully tonight will be better.”
I set up the machine to make his drink.
“Where are you staying?” I asked, not wanting to reveal I knew.
When he looked at me and his brow tilted just ever so slightly, I realized he knew I was the runner who’d passed him last night and he knew I knew he was at the cabins.
“I’m renting a cabin at Lakeside for a week. Needed time completely away from corporate life.”
“Ah. Is it nice there? I’ve always wondered what the cabins were like?”
“You’ve never seen inside?”
“No. Can I get you anything else?”
“What would you recommend?” He said, taking the cup.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I never asked if you were eating in or taking out? I just assumed in. Do you need me to switch that?” I asked as I noted there was no wedding ring, suntan line, or imprint on his wedding finger.
“No, in is fine. So…”
“So?”
He grinned, “What’s the tastiest thing I could sample?”
It sounded flirtatious and I could have kicked myself for what I said next. “My husband’s blueberry muffins. They’re the best.”
“She’s right, they are,” Cam interrupted with a smile, as he moved past me to serve the customer after Cabin Guy.
Cabin Guy’s eyes flicked over my hand, “Then a blueberry muffin it shall be.”
I finished serving him and he took his drink and muffin on a tray to one of the smaller tables where he sat behind a palm out of sight. The only thing I could see were his legs and feet, and his arm reaching out for his drink and muffin.
You did the right thing pointing out you’re married. Keep him as a fantasy. You love your husband. I told myself.
But my eyes kept flickering to the corner.
“It’s gone quiet now if you want to go get those survey card things done about the clothing,” Cam suggested.
“Clothing? Not just hoodies?”
“It would make sense to do t-shirts, and maybe even some light pants, like lounge wear? I’ve left the proposed pricing on the desk in the back office. The cost to us and the mark-up. I’ve not added a lot to the price as it’s advertising at the end of the day. I want to get the online business thriving and maybe after getting our coffee brand out there, we could move onto apparel?”
“One step at a time, my enthusiastic entrepreneur.” I smiled.
“Becca’s only a couple more years at school. She might like to join the family business. I still think she should come here on a weekend.”
My lips pursed. “No. I want her mind on her studies and on keeping up good friendships. And she makes her own decisions on her future. She has us at home, I’m sure she won’t want to be with us all day too.”
“That’s true. Though maybe if I employ Jake Corbin, we could persuade her.” He waggled his brows.
“Behave yourself. Now do you want me to clear the tables before I head into the back?”
“No, I got it.”
Disappointed, my eyes flicked one last time over to Cabin Guy’s table.
But he’d gone.
Three
Shay
Were people really going to pay these ridiculous prices for branded clothing? They probably would, I thought to myself as I peered at the price list. But they’d choose the cheapest thing, and it just so happened that a t-shirt could still have a decent mark-up but be covetable.
Tourists wanted souvenirs that they’d been to Liars and had walked among the elite. Felt like they belonged. Liars wanted them there to spend their money and help keep the island’s businesses financially sound. Cameron was right to look to branch out. An internet-based income stream meant less reliance on the ferry bringing in people to the shop.
I designed the survey cards and printed them off. Then I ran them through the guillotine. Slice, slice, slice. There was something satisfying about a clean cut through the card and a nice straight finish.
I didn’t feel like going back outside today to face the customers. All I wanted to do was fast forward to the evening, go for another run, and see if Cabin Guy was around again.
“Ow.”
A bead of blood appeared on the palm of my hand just above my thumb. I’d paper cut myself on the cardboard. I pressed it letting the drops fall onto the top of the desk, enjoying the small feeling of pain, the cut smarting, before grabbing a tissue and cleaning up. Great, now I’d be serving everyone with a Band-Aid on my hand.
“All done,” I told Cameron, dropping the cards onto the counter along with a couple of pens. He picked one up, and then I saw his expression change. He was about to either tell me I’d done something wrong or make a suggestion.
I picked a card up and handed it to the customer who’d kindly just carried her used tray over to the counter. “Thank you so much. Would you be so kind as to fill this in for us? We’re thinking of offering Brew Love t-shirts and hoodies.”
Cameron’s mouth closed again.
Good.
If he wanted things different, he could go change it himself. He’d managed to design the hoodies without me after all.
“Are you okay?” he asked me after another ten minutes. “You seem tense.”
I sighed.
“Becca wants me to go out with her on Thursday evening to honor the anniversary of our mother’s overdose.”
“Oh shit. I’d forgotten that was coming up.”
“Me too. Well either forgotten or blocked it out. Anyway, she wants to do it, so I said she
could choose where we went. She wants it to be just me and her.”
“That’s understandable. Maybe she wants to talk to you about Jake too, and doesn’t want her ‘dad’ asking to interview him first.”
That made me giggle. “She would die.”
“Hey, there’s that smile you were missing. Listen, after the lunch rush why don’t you finish early? Go have a long bath, or take a nap? I’m okay here.”
“You sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. It’s going to be a difficult few days, remembering, but you’ll get through it and so will Becca. Just be the adult she needs, and you’ll be fine.”
I walked into his outstretched arms and he kissed the top of my head.
“Thank you, Cam. For everything. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Good, because I’m not going anywhere. We’re staying here in Liars Island and in a couple of years’ time we’re gonna be making those babies and become even more of a family.”
You’ll be a Liars Island mom.
There’ll be no Brew Love hoodie wearing then.
Just competition about how many languages little Benedict can coo at five months and how Serafina’s nappy contents looked like a Michelangelo original.
I wasn’t sure whether a bath would be enough, or whether I should put on my sneakers and run directly out into the Sound until I drowned.
Becca wasn’t home from school yet. I left her a note on the table to say I’d gone to bed with a migraine and I walked upstairs to my bedroom. Closing the blackout drapes on the neighborhood felt great. I hated it when these dark moods came over me, but they were part of who I was, had always been there, especially when the past was ever-present.
I crawled under the comforter and closed my eyes, glad to block out my thoughts.
But my dreams had other ideas.
“Mom, you okay?” I said as I pushed open the door of her bright blue trailer. Something was wrong. I just knew it. Mom always had music on. She hated silence. It reminded her of the days after Dad had walked out on us and she’d mourned his loss.
A faucet dripped into the sink.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Slowly, in case Mom was asleep, I crept along the linoleum, trying not to make a lot of sound as I turned the faucet tight in order to stop the drip.
Turning around, I walked down toward Mom’s bedroom. I’d just peek inside and when I knew she was okay, I’d leave her a note that I’d popped by and let her know that we were all fine. Becca had been at our apartment since that morning and was staying for a few days. Times were fraught for my little sister, whose so-called ‘friends’ called her trailer trash.
She’d been begging to live with us, and we were seriously considering it. No disrespect to Mom, but she wouldn’t let us help her out, her stubborn pride winning out. She was fine in the trailer. She liked it. She didn’t have to pretend anymore. She’d been miserable. Glad her husband, our father, had left. Poor and happy was nothing to feel shame for she’d insisted.
Her room was in darkness, other than where a gap in her drapes shone a slick of light onto her bed. The first thing I saw was the vomit.
Shit, she was ill.
I moved further in to switch on the lamp on her nightstand and saw the medicine bottles. Wondering if she had an illness she wasn’t telling us about, I turned to help wake her and deal with clean up.
But she wouldn’t wake up.
“Mom?” I shook her gently.
“Mom? MOM. Mom? No. No. No. No. No.”
A keening scream left my body as I realized my mother was dead, surrounded by medicine bottles.
I woke up screaming. My breath came out in pants as I realized I was at home, in bed, and it was a dream. A dream of the past, a nightmare of sorts, but it wasn’t happening right now.
Dragging my sweating body out from under the covers I headed into the en suite to throw cold water on my face.
I clutched the basin and stared at myself in the mirror. It felt like I’d just found her all over again. She’d overdosed but left no note. We could only assume she’d grown tired of being judged for her choices. Maybe depression had hit her over the fact Becca wanted to live with us and not her? We’d never know what made her take the pills.
Just as we’d never know where the fuck our father had gone.
We placed notes in the newspapers and I’d asked Cameron to use his trust fund to hire a PI to find my dad, but he’d disappeared without trace.
Maybe it was for the best?
He’d been an alcoholic waste of space. When he’d left when I was sixteen, I’d celebrated with Cam. That’s how much I’d missed him.
I dragged myself downstairs into the living room where I poured myself a large glass of red wine and I drained the glass as if it were water before pouring another.
Shay, you cannot let this consume you. I tried to tell myself, but I wasn’t listening. I poured myself another glass.
The front door banged. Becca.
I heard her bags drop in the hall, followed by the thud of shoes. It grounded me. Becca did not need to see someone using alcohol as a crutch. I swallowed the next glass down and put the glass and the bottle in the liquor cabinet, quickly brushing the back of my hand across my mouth to wipe away any telltale red marks.
“Hellloooo?” she shouted out.
“It’s me, Becca. I’m in the living room.”
Footsteps came closer and then she walked into the room. “What are you doing home this early?”
“I had a migraine and went to bed. I left you a note on the kitchen table. But after a small sleep I feel a lot better, so now I’m up. How was school?”
“Great.” She beamed.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “That ‘great’ has nothing to do with school and everything to do with a boy.”
Her eyes widened, “how did you know?”
“Because I’ve been there. I am only six years older than you, remember? It’s not that long ago that Shay Rider had a crush on Cameron Adler, so spill.”
“Jake Corbin noticed I existed today. I smiled at him and he smiled back.”
“I should think he did smile at you. You’re gorgeous, he should be flattered.”
“That’s such a Mom thing to say.”
I flinched at her comment, but she didn’t notice. From the mooning expression on her features, she was clearly replaying Jake’s smile over and over.
“I’m going to raid the refrigerator and then head to my room.”
“Okay. Oh, I’ll book us a table for tomorrow night while I remember. Where do you want to go to eat?”
“Can we go to Fired Up?”
“Sure. I’ll make reservations now.”
“Thanks, Shay.”
With that she was gone.
The two glasses of red wine I’d drunk down so quickly suddenly made themselves known in the shape of a wave of dizziness, but I felt mellower, calmer, better. As soon as Becca left the kitchen I would go wash through the glass and replace it in the cabinet, then I’d go back upstairs and brush my teeth. Pretend it had never happened.
‘You’re just like your father.’
I shook my head as if the words could be tipped straight out of my ears and then taking a deep breath, I picked up the phone and called the restaurant.
Cam didn’t go to the gym that evening. Instead, he almost burst through the door. His face was lit with excitement. I rose from the couch, “What is it? What’s happened?”
He shook a handful of the cards I’d made at me. “Fifteen completed cards, all saying they’d be interested.”
“That’s amazing.” I leaped at him and he picked me up and swung me around, my hips wrapped around his thighs, my arms around his neck.
“I know some of them could have just been being polite, but still…” He put me back down.
“I think it’s a solid business idea, Cam. You have a great business brain. Run the survey for the rest of the week and then at the b
eginning of next week if it’s all still positive, start the business. We can afford to bankroll a supply. You have to take risks in life, right?”
“I’d thought about collecting orders and then purchasing to fulfil.”
“Oh well, whichever works best. You know I’ve no idea how any of this works. You’re the guru. I’m just the fangirl worshipping her idol.”
I turned away from him then, feeling the disappointment sink in my stomach. I’d thought I was encouraging him, but once again he already had it all worked out.
“I’m gonna go fix dinner, because I want to run again tonight.”
“Okay. Hey, did you have a soak in the tub, or a nap?”
I stood half facing him in the doorway, “I had a sleep. I felt a little better. It’s just the date I guess, or maybe it’s the time of the month. Who knows?”
“No, you’ve another week or so until then,” he said.
My mouth dropped open.
“I’m just joking. I have no idea, but your expression,” he laughed.
I rolled my eyes, but my spine prickled with unease.
Four
Shay
Cameron grinned as I came downstairs still wearing my Brew Love hoodie, though I had a sweat resistant tank on underneath.
“Good exercise and a glowing endorsement for the business. Why don’t you stay out longer and run further?”
“Very funny. Catch you later.”
He stood in the doorway as I set off running. I waved to him before I disappeared out of his view. I’d not dwell on the fact that I’d set off at exactly the same time as yesterday. That I was running my route as yesterday and at the same speed as I could remember as yesterday.
I just needed the run. The wind in my hair. The freedom of being alone. Past the schools again, down the street and onto the beach. My feet hit the sand and partway across I stopped, annoyed, as a stitch hit my stomach. Goddamn it, not now. Tears of frustration hit me from nowhere and I sank down to my knees in the sand. I pulled off the Brew Love hoodie, suddenly feeling strangled by it.
Betrayal Bend Page 2
