by A. J. Medina
“Nay!” she shouted.
“What?”
“You left us. You left me there... with... our king. How could you leave me behind?”
“I didn’t think—”
“You left us. You left me.”
She struggled to break free. It was pointless.
“Let me go,” she whined through her tears.
I didn’t know what to say or do so I released her.
She slammed the door on her way out.
Aednat seemed to only have one emotion, annoyed, that I didn’t even think she had feelings. But she did have feelings, and I had hurt them.
The next day, while I was walking down the passageway to meet the knightlys, I thought about what Aednat had said yesterday. And she was right. I had left them. Not because I didn’t care, but mostly because I was afraid.
I was afraid if I told them what I was going to do that they would tell on me. I didn’t know for sure if I had their loyalty and if I didn’t, then both me and Neala would’ve been doomed. Either way what was done was done. I couldn’t undo it, even if I wanted to.
After walking through the exit of the castle, I was hit in the face with the frigid morning air. My forehead was instantly turned into a block of ice. I threw my hood over and pulled it down for protection. Another gust of wind sent it back off my head. As I lifted it back into place with both hands, I peered through the falling snow and spotted them.
“Good morn’,” Neala greeted.
“Good morn’, Neala. Good morn’ Ryanne, Thomas, Davina. Good morn’, Aednat.”
“Good morn’, Alora,” Aednat said refusing to make eye contact with me.
“I wanted to see all of you. I had hoped it would be inside, but I came as soon as Clara told me where you all were.”
“What’s happened,” Ryanne asked.
“I just...” Aednat still hadn’t made eye contact. “I just wanted to say I was sorry to all of you.”
“Sorry for what?” Thomas asked.
I was about to speak when he dug into his cloak’s pocket and a piece of bread appeared.
“For leaving you all behind. You are all the family I have left. I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what?” Aednat asked, her eyes now fixated on mine.
“Afraid you would run to the king and tell him I was running away.”
“I probably would have,” Aednat said. “So you were right to be afraid.”
Neala gasped. “How could you? You didn’t know everything that was happening. Alora and me would’ve been put to death if you’d told King Remi we were leaving.”
“I know. But I would have done my duty to the king. But now... I know better.”
“Again, I’m sorry for leaving all of you behind. And I’m really sorry about the king.” I said it looking straight at Aednat, but noticed Ryanne and Aednat both looked down, but Davina didn’t.
“Please forgive me,” I asked them all.
“I forgive you,” Thomas said, finishing up another piece of bread he had retrieved from his cloak’s pocket.
“Aye,” Ryanne said.
“Aye,” Davina added.
We all waited for Aednat. I didn’t expect her to forgive me, but I hoped.
“Fine. Who cares anyway?” She looked at me. “You better get inside before your big head turns into a block of ice.”
Good ‘ole Aednat. I guess she really had forgiven me.
With all that behind me, I met up with Lucah that evening for another round of flight. After we drank our potions and turned into dragons, we climbed higher and higher until we were high above the clouds—so high it was no longer snowing.
The moon was full and shined so bright. I wouldn’t have known since the clouds had been hiding the sky for so long. The whole thing reminded me of my first dragon ride on Draycko’s neck, except this time it seemed much more... romantic.
“It is romantic, isn’t it?” Lucah asked.
“Aye, it is.”
As we flew, I found myself thinking of home. I was in my meadow lying on the ground. It was me, but different. It was almost like I was seeing myself through someone else’s eyes.
“Catch me if you can,” Lucah said, and then he dove towards the ground, heading south.
As far as my dragon eyes could see there was snow. The three kingdoms were being hit by a snow storm that still hadn’t let up.
When I finally caught him, Lucah pointed to the ground. “Let’s go down there,” he said, but his lips didn’t move. “Follow me,” he said again, his lips still not moving.
He tucked his arms in tight and straightened his body out. His wings hugged his green body and caused him to gain speed. “Catch me if you can,” I heard him say.
He drifted further away from me and I copied his form. I matched his speed, but didn’t know how I would catch him. Not fair, I thought to myself.
“Oh stop whining, Alora.”
Whining? I’ll show him.
When we were below the clouds once again, I reached my dragon claw out and commanded the snow to bind together. I shouted, “Glacialis,” and the snow turned into an ice wall right in front of him.
With no time to react to my wizardry, he crashed through the ice wall. It shattered into pieces, but slowed him way down. Enough for me to tap him and take the lead.
“Caught you!”
“Not fair,” I heard him say.
Now who’s whining, I thought.
“I’m not whining.”
And so I created another ice wall. He slowed down just in time and was able to avoid that one.
He was falling behind and I was still gaining speed.
“I miss this,” Lucah said.
I turned back and he was far, much too far to hear. My dragon ears must’ve also given me great hearing just like my eyes could see so far away.
Then another picture of me appeared in my mind. It was me and Lucah’s first kiss. We were in his home and I was sucking the grease off my fingers, but it wasn’t quite how I remembered it. I could see myself clearly and I could feel emotions mixed in. Excitement, fear, and love.
The ground was coming up fast now. I spread my wings and grazed the tree line. I tried to remember everything I had seen Draycko do when I rode on his neck and I also tried to picture him landing. He always landed with a boom. Not me. From now on I would land soft and easy. I curved upward, flapped my wings, and resisted falling.
It worked and I landed so softly I doubted anyone heard my feet touch the ground.
Of course when Lucah landed, he crashed into the ground, flipped, rolled and landed on his back—legs going one way, arms going another.
“Are you alright?” I asked, running over to where he had crashed.
“Aye.”
“Are you hurt?”
“Nay. And you cheated.”
“No such thing. I used my magic and you didn’t. I won fair and square. So stop whining.”
Another thought invaded my mind. It was of me and Lucah on the balcony of the guard’s wing in Ly’vera when we were still in training. I could feel the excitement, the anticipation. I saw myself get pulled closer to him and then we kissed.
I remembered it, but not that way and seeing it made me both sad and angry.
Lucah left me waiting on that balcony. Wet and alone. He never came and never explained why he hadn’t. We barely spoke after that.
“I’m sorry,”
“What?” I asked.
“I’m sorry,” Lucah said.
“Sorry about what?”
“For not showing. For making you wait for me on the balcony and then never showing up.”
“But—”
“I saw you waiting on the balcony just now. Your memory of me. Haven’t you been seeing my thoughts and feeling my feelings too?”
“Is that what’s been happening?” I asked.
“Aye. I felt you as soon as you turned into a dragon.”
I was seeing and feeling his memories of me. That’s why they seemed different
. “Get out of my head,” I told him.
“I can’t. I think it’s a dragon thing.”
“I don’t care. Stop it.”
“I’m sorry for leaving. I wish I hadn’t.”
“But you did.”
“Not my choice.”
“You chose to not listen and because of that, you were dismissed. And even if it wasn’t your choice to leave, you chose not to say goodbye to me.”
I thought of that day. I ran and ran to the city gate trying to catch him. When I arrived, I stopped to catch my breath and called out his name. He was sitting in the carriage and turned around, but didn’t even wave goodbye. I pictured the whole thing clearly as if it had happened yesterday and sent those thoughts to him.
His shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry.”
I was about to yell at him when his thoughts invaded my mind again.
King Remi was speaking to him. “I command you to stay away from Alora. Do not be her friend, do not even speak to her—”
“But Your Majesty we—”
“Do not challenge me, Lucah.”
“I wasn’t challenging you.”
The king stood from his throne. “You will do as commanded or not only will I have your head, but I will have the heads of your family.”
“But—”
“Your mother, father, and your two brothers. They will be executed.”
“But—”
“And I will bring you their heads so that you can see them, just before you die. Shall I send for them?”
“Nay, Your Majesty.”
“Then you agree to do as you’re told?”
“I do, Your Majesty.”
Lucah looked to Agbavitor for help, but Agbavitor would not meet his eyes.
“Soon I will call on you. I have great plans for you Lucah, and for your family, if you serve me well. Will you serve me well, like you promised to when you took your oath and became one of my knights?”
“I will, Your Majesty.”
The king dismissed him.
Agbavitor said, “Go now Lucah and return to your chambers until everyone has been interviewed.”
The memory ended. I had no idea that Lucah’s life, or his whole family’s, had been threatened by King Remi. My mouth opened to speak, but before I could say anything another memory began.
Lucah was standing in front of the king again. The king sat on his throne with Agbavitor at his side. “The time has come, Lucah. You are to fight Ser Hector in the morning. I want you to behave like a mad man—out of control. I want you to obey no one, not even me when I tell you to stop. Do you understand?”
“Aye, Your Majesty.”
“You will be dismissed for this, at least that is what everyone will believe.”
I could hear and feel his sadness. “I understand, Your Majesty.”
“Speak to no one afterwards. You will be sent home. I believe The Apprentice will try to contact you and recruit you for his army.”
“The Apprentice, Your Majesty?”
“Aye. And I want you to go. I want you to be my spy in his army. When he plans to make any movements against me, when he recruits others, where he is hiding, everything and anything, I want you to report it to me.”
“And my family, Your Majesty?”
“They will be cared for.”
“I understand.”
“Then go, Lucah. For tomorrow you will be in my favor. Sleep well and know that what you do is for you king and there is no greater honor than doing as your king commands.”
The memory stopped and another immediately began. This time I saw myself bent over with my hands on my knees gasping for air. I was in the front of the castle city’s gate. I could feel his sadness as he turned away from me and focused on the bridge in front of him.
The memory ended.
“I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to stop being with you or talking to you. I loved... love you. My king commanded me to stay away from you. I didn’t know what else to do.”
I ran into his arms. His dragon arms, and held him tightly. I didn’t want to let go. “I never stopped having feelings for you. You left me. I hated you and loved you all at once.”
“Be mine,” Lucah said.
And I wanted to. I wanted to be his.
We drank our potions and took shelter under a tree. We were back to our human selves and held each other and kissed. I couldn’t hear his thoughts anymore, but I didn’t need to, I knew exactly how he felt about me. But then that nagging voice in the back of my head interrupted me.
What about Silas? it said.
I wanted it to shut up as our lips continued to move against each other.
Shut up, I told it, not now.
But it kept nagging me. You love Silas. You love the boy with the violet eyes. Don’t do this.
The stupid voice was right. I did love Silas. I pulled away from Lucah.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I’m with Silas.”
“Only because I pushed you away. I’m here now. We can be together.”
“Nay, we can’t. If you hadn’t left, if you hadn’t listened to the king we would still be together, I think. But you did and I’m with Silas now.”
“But you saw. I didn’t want to leave. The king made me.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, but it doesn’t change anything.”
Even though it did. I knew his reasons now and they were good ones. I would’ve done the same thing in his place. I would’ve protected my family above all else.
“Please Alora, don’t push me away.”
He stepped closer and I stepped back. I drank the potion and returned to my dragon state. I said, “Sorry,” and then lifted off and headed back to the castle where Silas would surely be waiting for me.
Chapter 13
After I landed on the turret of the castle, I turned back into myself. In a flash I was back to normal. Quickly, I ran down the circle staircase until I came to the her level. I needed to speak to Neala. I needed to tell her what Lucah had just told me.
I ran to her room and knocked.
When she didn’t answer, I opened the door and peeked in. The room was empty. “Neala?” I asked the room, just in case she was in the bath or somewhere else I couldn’t see. I was about to close the door when I heard a pail topple in her washroom. I burst back in and went into her washroom.
“Oh hello, Alora. How are you this evening?”
“I’m fine, Clara.”
She continued pouring water into the bath.
“Have you seen Neala?”
“Aye, she is practicing her sword. I’m getting her bath ready for when she is done.”
“Do you know where exactly?”
“Aye, in the same room all of you were performing your slow movements.”
“Thank you.”
I didn’t wait to hear if she was going to say anything else. I just ran out of the washroom and kept running until I came upon the room. I pushed open the door and left it open. Neala had her back to me and didn’t turn around.
“Who’s there?” her quiet voice asked.
“It’s me. Am I disturbing you?”
“Of course not. Please come in.”
She was barefoot in her brown tunic and pants, thrusting her sword this way and that, making swish sounds as she did. I gave her a wide berth, making sure not to get sliced.
“I thought you were going to spend the evening with Silas tonight.” She didn’t stop slashing.
“I was. I mean... I am, but I need to talk to you.”
She stopped slashing at the empty air.
“What’s happened?”
I told her about me and Lucah flying and going so high above the clouds and how romantic it was, and how we had kissed.
She instantly moved closer and listened eagerly as I told her everything. How he had been commanded by the king to stay away from me and how he had been commanded to get himself dismissed on purpose.
And the most important thing... that
he still loved me.
“What are you going to do?” Neala asked.
“I have no idea. I left him there and flew back because I’m with Silas now. But I still have feelings for him. Those feelings didn’t go anywhere when he... well when I thought he didn’t want me. I still have those feelings, but I also have them for Silas. Do you have any advice?”
“I’m sorry Alora, but I don’t have any. You love two boys and one of them has asked you to marry him and be his queen. Only you can decide which one you want to be with.”
“But Lucah said he still loves me.”
“Does he?” his voice asked from behind me.
I froze, my mouth still open from what I was about to say. When I gathered my nerve, I turned around to face him.
Silas leaned against the wall under the doorway—his eyes burning a hole through me.
“So my captain is in love with you still? How cute.”
I finally gathered the will to close my mouth.
Neala made swish swish sounds behind me. She had resumed her practice.
He moved towards me and then took my hands in his. “But I already knew this. It’s no secret to me.”
“How do you know?”
“He told me everything.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “When did he tell you?”
“When he first came into my army. Well, not me exactly. He told General Ugo. Or at least confirmed my hunch. You see, I asked the general to ask him. I knew something wasn’t right when he began ignoring you. The way he acted with you one day and then the next. It was as if you didn’t exist.”
“The king made him act that way.”
“I know that.”
I dropped his hands. “You know that too?” I was irate that Silas knew what I didn’t.
“I found out as soon as we recruited him.”
“Soon after he had been dismissed by King Remi?”
“Very soon after that.”
“And you didn’t think I should know.”
“Why would you care? You were with me at the time.”
I looked away and watched Neala practicing. She had stopped making swish sounds, but kept slicing away at the air.
Silas placed his hands on my shoulders. From behind me he asked what I hoped he wouldn’t. “Why do you care if he loves you?”
Not knowing what to say I said the only thing I could think of. “Because.”
