by Mary Amato
So, here’s what you should learn to do.
1. Raise one eyebrow.
If someone asks you a stupid question, this is an excellent response.
2. Make your eyebrows jump up and down.
Think of your eyebrows as little pets that live on your face.
3. Flare your nostrils.
Bullfighters do this. They got the idea from bulls.
4. Pinch your nostrils closed, then snort upward.
This makes your nose look like it got squished between elevator doors.
5. Wiggle your ears.
Do this, and you won’t look human.
6. Do tongue tricks: roll it, fold it, twist it, curl it, touch it to your nose.
If you have a school talent show, your tongue could be the star.
7. Hold a pencil between your nose and upper lip.
Don’t use your hands. Now, wiggle your mouth to make the pencil go crazy. Do the same thing with your chin on your desk. Voila! Your face has become a drummer.
8. Look without looking as if you are looking.
Very handy if you are a spy or a crook catcher.
9. Look like you have no idea what just happened.
Very handy if you have just done something wrong and a grown-up is staring at you.
10. Look like you’re going to throw up.
Very handy if you don’t like what’s for dinner.
