My whole body jerks at the attempted invasion. I should’ve seen this coming as soon as his thumb started probing there. Of course this is where it was all leading to.
But no way. He wants to shove that thing up my ass? I’m shaking my head and wriggling to get away but Jackson wraps his strong arm around my waist and holds me in place.
“Shhh, baby, trust me. This’ll feel so good. Trust me.” He nuzzles his face against the back of my hip and continues whispering to me in that low, hypnotic voice. In spite of myself, I start to calm and stop struggling to get away.
“That’s right, my beautiful girl.” He rubs a palm languidly down the spokes of my spine. His hand rounds my hip and then he cups me between my legs. I feel his warm breath and then he places open mouthed kisses all over my ass. Occasionally his teeth come out and he nips me. And while I jerk each time, I don’t pull away again. When I feel the toy probing at the puckered opening of my backside, I stay still this time.
“That’s right, baby. You’re doing so good. You’ve never been more beautiful. You’re so strong. Relax for me, baby. Just relax.” The arm still wrapped around my waist reaches down and start strumming my clit.
My head presses against the pillow at the confusing mix of sensations. It all feels strange and wonderful and alien and hot. So freaking hot. The rod at my back entrance is insistent, but with Jackson’s fingers working me so expertly, my body suddenly loosens and the bullet pushes in past the first ring of muscles.
I gasp as it slides inside and Jackson makes a noise that I can only describe as male triumph.
“Fuck, you’re killing my discipline.” It sounds like a pained admission.
Good. Thank God it’s not just me whose barriers are being broken down by this insane attraction.
When I feel Jackson’s fist tangle in my hair and he pulls my head back so that I’m forced to look over my shoulder at him, I’m grinning. His face is a contorted mix of lust and disorientation.
It’s the first time since I met him that I’ve felt the smallest measure of control in the situation. I’m not about to lose it. For the moment, he doesn’t have my hands pinned down and I use it to my advantage.
I reach down between us, grasp his cock, and roughly guide it inside me.
He lets out a pained groan, but he doesn’t pull back this time. No, he presses all the way inside and his body falls forward until he’s covering my back. I’m completely surrounded by him and I love it.
Between his cock and the toy that fills up my ass, I’ve never felt so stuffed.
“You like that, don’t you? You like my cock ramming you while I’ve crammed your ass so full?”
His dirty words send my arousal to another level.
“Yes,” I manage. It’s a whisper, but apparently that’s not enough for him.
“I can’t hear you,” his voice is almost menacing as he grabs my hip and starts thrusting in with a sharp, almost punishing rhythm. “Do you love having your ass and cunt full at the same time?” The slap of his flesh against mine each time he pumps into me fills the room.
For long seconds, I can only moan in pleasure. My eyes slam shut and the whole universe seems to stop for a moment, Jackson’s body over mine, me stuffed to the hilt, so full that there’s no room for any other thought, just the feeling that I’m about to burst from sensation. It’s pleasure with a tinge of pain and way, way too many other feelings to even begin cataloging.
But then Jackson pulls out and hovers there, panting, both of us sweating, and I’m pulled back into the present. “I guess you don’t love it so I should stop,” he growls.
“No!” I whimper. I look over my shoulder so I can meet his eyes. “I love it. I want it. Please.” I reach for him, needing him in me again.
A dark smile lights his face and he licks those sinful lips of his.
“What do you love, baby?” He pushes forward so that his cock teases at the lips of my core. I shudder.
“I love being stuffed full,” I whisper.
“Louder,” he demands.
My face flushes, but in this moment, I’d do anything to get him back inside me. My body squeezes around the toy in my back channel and that alone sends a thrill of sensation racing through me. At the same time, it just makes me feel incredibly empty in the one place I need Jackson.
“I love it when my ass is full and your cock takes my cunt,” I say.
His cock jumps against me and the tip slips back inside. “Louder.”
I whine and try to move so that I can take more of him inside, but he moves along with me to deny me friction. I glare at him but give in at the same time. “I love you stuffing my ass and cunt!” I shout.
Before the last word is even out of my mouth, Jackson has jammed all the way in. He pulls out, hammers back in, over and over like a bull in heat. I’ve never been fucked with such an animalistic fervor. The fullness in my ass only adds to it, making Jackson’s already thick cock feel twice as wide as he plows me.
And his words. An endless stream. “That’s right, baby. You’re my beautiful fucking dirty girl. Dirty just for me. So fucking beautiful. I’m going to fuck that beautiful ass one day.” A few extra hard thrusts accompany that one. “So fucking good. So fucking tight.”
Then he reaches a hand around to finger my clit and I’m gone. My climax is explosive since I’ve been on the edge of it for so long. Jackson won’t leave it at just one, though. He keeps rubbing through the first and coaxes me right back up into another. Tears run down my cheeks by the time he pulls out a third, which might just be an extension of the second.
I don’t even realize the noise coming out of my mouth until Jackson’s shouting joins me. He shouts expletives as he rams even harder than before into me. I’m biting at the pillow and wishing it was his flesh. I want to bite him, to tear into him the way it feels like he’s tearing me apart.
When we finally finish and he collapses beside me, he drags my body so that I’m tucked into him. His large bulk surrounds me from behind, his arm slung over my waist. I smile and pick up his hand, entwining our fingers. That’s when I see I’ve left scratch marks all over his hand and up his forearm since it was one of the few parts of him I could reach from the position I was in. Instead of being horrified, a rush of primitive satisfaction hits me at seeing the marks.
Mine. I marked him. I kiss his knuckles and his arm tightens around me, then one of his heavy legs slings over mine. Like he’s caging me in. I don’t mind. I snuggle my back into him and focus on the warmth of his breath on my shoulder. Within thirty seconds, his breathing evens out and he begins to snore lightly.
I giggle. I can’t help it. It’s such a guy thing to do. He just fucked me ten ways from Sunday and I’ve still got a dildo in my ass—but he’s out for the count in less than two minutes. I shake my head and reach between my legs. It takes some gymnastic stretching, but I manage to get to the toy and slide it out. It comes out with a slick pop noise. I’m too worn out to be embarrassed. I deposit it over the side of the bed and then snuggle back into Jackson’s arms.
Doesn’t seem like he’s letting go anytime soon and in this moment, there’s no place I’d rather be.
CHAPTER 14
“Mama, do one, two, three!” Charlie tugs on my hand. I look over at Shannon and see him reaching for hers as well. She takes it.
I don’t care that the pathways are crowded at the zoo, I love hearing Charlie’s giggle.
“One, two, three,” I count, and then Shannon and I swing Charlie by his arms up into the air, legs arcing high. Charlie’s giggles fill the air and I laugh in response. It never fails.
“Again!”
I’m way ahead of him. Right as his feet touch the ground, I’m already counting again. Shannon joins in with me and when I look over, she’s grinning. For the first time in forever, she seems relaxed and easygoing.
She didn’t even bitch me out about my surprise sleepover when I got home from Jackson’s this morning. And when I invited her to come to the zoo with Cha
rlie and me, she didn’t cite her ever-pressing piles of work like normal. Yeah, she takes care of Charlie during the day, but she rarely spends time with him and me outside of her regularly-scheduled hours.
We swing Charlie a few more times until my arm gets tired.
“Again!” Charlie demands.
I reach down and tickle his belly. “Sorry, mommy’s a wimp. I need a break.” I kiss him on the top of his head. “Oh, look at that big turtle.”
Distraction: every mother’s best friend.
Charlie looks where I’m pointing and his face lights up. “Tortoise!” The word comes out more like “toy-tis.” Freaking adorable. I’m still fixated on my child’s absolute cuteness when his small body launches in that direction, his little hand almost yanking out of mine in his ferocity. I stumble after him as we weave through the crowd of other children and parents to get closer to the fence between us and the large turtles.
“What a big turtle,” I say and Charlie looks at me with the disdain particular to small children’s derision for their ignorant parent.
“Toy-tis, Mama. Dora says toy-tises is big and walk on the ground. Turtles is in the water.”
“Ouch,” Shannon says beside me. “I think you just got schooled by your two-and-a-half-year-old.”
I jam an elbow lightly into her and she laughs at me. I pretend I’m put off, but really, it’s so strange and nice to have her like this.
Charlie’s fascinated by the tortoises so we stay there for several minutes.
“It’s such a beautiful day,” Shannon muses.
I turn to her. “Okay, seriously. What’s going on with you?”
“What?”
I narrow my eyebrows and give her a for real? look.
“Nothing’s going on.” Her eyes cut away from me.
Wow, could she be more obvious that she’s trying to hide something.
“Oh my gosh, is it a guy?” I ask, getting excited. “Did you meet someone?”
“Oh look,” Shannon says loudly, “Charlie’s bored with the tortoises. Want to go on one of the rides, buddy?”
Charlie starts jumping up and down.
“Don’t think I didn’t see what you did there,” I grumble at Shannon as Charlie starts trying to run ahead of us, yanking on both our arms to get us to hurry.
“All right, all right, bud, wait up for us,” I laugh and quicken my steps. And to think I was wondering if we should bring the stroller. Though I know at some point all this excess energy is going to be used up and then we’ll have a suddenly overly-tired little boy on our hands, he’s having too much fun to overthink it right now.
“Bet you’re rethinking the kid leash now,” Shannon says and I shoot her a devil glare.
Right as she says it, we see a kid around Charlie’s age toddle by strapped into one of the ridiculous things. The three-foot leash is stretched taut as the kid races in front of his harried looking dad who’s got the other end of the tether wrapped several times around his wrist.
“Oh my God, no. Just, no.” I finally give in and laugh. “I swear, when I first saw one of those things, I was standing behind a counter and I just saw a woman holding a leash. I leaned over to see what kind of dog she had and there was a kid attached instead. I was like what the eff?”
“Language,” Shannon frowns at me.
I roll my eyes at her. Did she not hear me edit myself? I always turn off my potty mouth around Charlie.
It’s too crazy crowded to do much talking on our way to the rides. It’s not until we have Charlie strapped in to the ladybug merry-go-round ride that I can corner Shannon again.
We pull back to stand with the other parents. I take out my phone to snap some shots of Charlie vigorously grabbing the little wheel in the ladybug car and bouncing up and down on the seat as the ride starts to slowly whir around and around. His particular peal of laughter fills me with warmth as I get a perfect shot of his grinning face, dark little curls catching the slightest bit of wind.
“So is it a guy?” I ask my sister. I’m not letting her off the hook. “Is that why I get sunshine Shannon today?”
She lets out a huff of air beside me. “If we’re talking about men, you should be the one spilling. From the little I saw of the man last night, I liked him. And he was nice on the phone when he called later.”
I look over at her to see if she’s mocking me, but she actually looks sincere. Still, I ask, “Are you fudging with me?” Yes, fudging. Charlie might be safely out of hearing distance while he’s on the ride, but there are other kids around.
She narrows her eyes at me. “What? I can’t be interested in your love life?”
I raise an eyebrow. “To tell me I’m doing it wrong, sure.”
She gives me a head shake. “Don’t be so juvenile, Callie. Mr. Vale seemed like a perfectly nice man. Respectable.”
An image of him bending me over his lap in the limo flashes through my mind. Yeah, doubt she would say that if she knew the details of last night. I smirk inwardly as she keeps going.
“He has a good job,” she continues. “He’s a colleague but doesn’t work in the same office so you avoid any complications there—”
“He wants me to come work for him,” I interrupt.
Her expression instantly morphs. “You have to make everything more complicated, don’t you?” She watches Charlie as he goes around and around, that look back on her face. The one she usually wears when I’m around. Exasperation tinged with disappointment.
For a second I don’t say anything. God, it was stupid to tell her he offered me a job. We were finally getting along for once. Like, being regular sisters. Then I go and ruin it.
But no, that’s shitty. I shouldn’t have to keep the peace only by keeping secrets. I’m done with bullshit.
“Shannon, can you just stop?” I touch her arm so she looks back at me. “I know I’ve made mistakes in the past. A lot of mistakes, okay? But regrets don’t do any good. I can’t go back and do things different. And I wouldn’t,” I say more firmly. “They brought me Charlie.”
“But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be learning from your mistakes and breaking old habits,” Shannon says, eyes flashing.
“I know,” I meet her eye to eye. “And I am. Even the past couple months. Believe me,” I shake my head, thinking about my stupidity in walking into Bryce Gentry’s office and accepting the devil’s bargain he offered. I truly believed that was my only option to get out of my predicament.
Run into a problem that seems unfixable? Let a man use my body—that’s my go-to solution. I’ve just assumed my body is where my only worth lies. It’s what I was taught, after all. From a girl growing up in pageants to the abuse I experienced as a teen to my damn college professor preying on my vulnerabilities my first real year of college. Then to Gentry.
Christ, how have I not seen that it’s a pattern before now? “I am learning,” I say more quietly. “I’m different now.” The more I say it, the more I can believe it, right? “It’s not like that between Jackson and me.”
“Only if you don’t let it be. Don’t work for him.”
I pause before I say anything else. Is she right? I force myself to really consider it. I just told her I’m learning, but how is Jackson different? I myself just realized that I went from one older man with abusive power over me to David to Gentry. Is Jackson really so different? I questioned his motives to his face last night and all his answers seemed genuine, but I’m not the naïve little girl I once was.
Men lie to get what they want.
This morning when I got home just before noon, I showered. But I swear I can still feel Jackson’s hand caressing my cheek as he said goodbye on his huge columned porch. He held me back from going to the town car where his driver waited to take me home.
“I want to be there in court on Monday,” he said.
My mouth dropped open. The only way he’d known anything about it was because he demanded to see me for lunch on Monday and I’d explained why I couldn’t meet him.
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“You barely know me,” I sputtered. “You can’t come to my son’s custody hearing!”
His face darkened. “I think we’ve gotten to know each other very well, very quickly.” His eyes were heavy-lidded as he pressed his pelvis into mine. Christ, he was already hard again. The man had the stamina of a bull.
Me being me, I just started blushing like crazy. “That’s not what I mean.”
“No?” An eyebrow raised. “There’s a reason they call it knowing one’s wife in the Bible. I think we’ve gotten very intimately acquainted in the past twenty-four hours.” He leaned in so that his words were a hot whisper in my ear. “And I for one intend on intimately knowing every single inch of your body.”
And I mean, what the fuck was a girl supposed to say to that? He pulled back then as if sensing I was getting to my holy-shit-this-is-too-intense freak-out point.
Then, right as I finally turned toward the car, he reminded me he’d be sending over a detailed employment packet.
“It’s completely separate from what happens between you and me, Callie,” he reminded me. “But please seriously consider it. I could really use you there.”
I was flattered this morning, but now the words take on a different context. He could really use me. And what exactly will be left over after he’s done using me up?
But Jackson’s not like that, another voice in my head argues.
How do you know? You’ve known him, what? All of three weeks? Of which, you’ve spent a total of maybe sixteen hours in his company? Half of which were spent sleeping.
But last night… and then again this morning… He was so tender. So considerate in his love-making. It was explosive and intense and you felt so incredibly connected—
Awesome. So now I’m letting myself be blinded by great sex.
He wanted to be at your son’s custody hearing—
As a way to make me more emotionally dependent on him. He’s moving way too fast, too soon. Why? Because he’s trying to manipulate me just like the rest of them.
Crush Me Page 20
