I scoff and pull away, hating the feel of his breath on my ear. It feels wrong for him to be so close after what Jackson and I did last weekend.
Fuck. Shame floods me in spite of my determination to be strong. Jackson. I was with Jackson and here I am, naked, letting other men touch me. We never talked about being exclusive and I don’t even know if I’m willing to try it with him, but still… This is just so wrong on so many levels. My stomach churns and I want to be sick all over the table. All over the men who are getting off on my humiliation.
“Yeah, right,” I whisper through gritted teeth, backing up several inches away from him. “These men are expecting a lot more than just touching.”
Gentry puts a hand around my waist to hold me still. I stiffen.
Just as I’m calculating how close it is to the nearest coffee mug and whether or not I can grab it to smash it over Gentry’s head, he says. “You’re right.” He’s close, still way too close as he whispers in my ear. “They’re expecting a show. I give them a little live porno of my super-hot personal assistant blowing me, they’ll get their rocks off and I make the deals I need.”
I struggle against his hold. “I’m not giving you a blow job.”
He slides his hand more around my waist and presses up against me, nuzzling his face in my hair. “It was always going to come to this, Calliope. You knew that from day one.” My heartbeat picks up until I feel like a small animal caught in a trap. “Fulfill your end of the bargain, and you’re free. Walk out of this room and you owe me eight-hundred-and-fifty-thousand dollars if you try to get a job in the tech industry. Otherwise you’ll be stuck waitressing for the next five years. You think you’re really going to be able to win back your little boy by working minimum-wage jobs?”
I wrench away from him. How the hell does he even know about my court troubles?
But he continues, his voice cajoling. “This is such a little thing.” He strokes my shoulder and I want to scream and then kick him until his balls are purple. “I’m willing to bargain. Just fifteen minutes and then it’s over. You never have to see me again.”
I squeeze my eyes shut as his words reverberate in my head.
Fifteen minutes.
Damn it. I could be done with Gentry forever. If I don’t, he gets to determine how I live the next five YEARS of my life.
No. Fuck no.
He’s toxic and evil and I’ll never be the person I want to be if I’m stuck under his sociopathic thumb.
Goddamn him. He’s the devil. If I do this, I’m walking into a deal with him with my eyes wide open. My chest squeezes in pain. I swore I was going to be different. That I was going to stop repeating old mistakes.
But damn it, this is not hearts and flowers land. My body is once again the bargaining tool on the table here. Fucking literally, if Gentry has his way. There are no knights in shining armor, I’ve known that for awhile. Jackson wanted to step into the role for a little while and maybe I wanted to let him, but this will kill it. I’m not sure he’ll even want me to work for him after this.
And that’s fine. I try to harden myself from the inside out.
This is the real world where the princess has to fight and scrabble her own way to freedom. Even if it means blowing a nasty-ass frog to get there.
“Fine,” I say before I can think my way out of it.
“Good girl.” Gentry’s voice goes back to all business. “Now. Up on the table on all fours.”
No! Everything inside me screams against it.
I don’t open my eyes. I crawl onto the table. I fucking do it and my humiliation is complete. Being humiliated is part of the point, right? It’s what these powerful guys get off on. Gentry slaps me on the back of the thigh like one might a horse to position me closer to one corner of the table. Without a bra, my breasts swing free like low-hanging fruit with each movement. I keep my eyes squeezed shut.
Fifteen minutes. I can do it.
I feel movement beside me as Gentry stands up and addresses the table. “Our naughty girl was thinking about running away. What does a naughty girl get?” Gentry grabs my skirt and with several rough jerks, has it yanked up around my waist. His hand follows, smoothing up the crack of my ass where my thong disappears.
“Tell us, whore, how much you want it.”
My jaw clenches, but Gentry grabs my ass and squeezes it hard.
I squeeze my eyes shut even harder and duck my head. “I want it,” I say, hating the words as they come from my mouth.
“What was that?” Gentry asks. I can imagine the asshole putting a hand up to his ear like a fucking clown does at a circus. I don’t open my eyes though as I repeat louder, “I want it.”
“And what do you want, whore?”
My eyes do pop open at this. What the fuck does he want me to say? It’s not like he gave me a script for this.
He’s grinning mercilessly at me. “Are you hungry for my cock?”
My teeth grind together so hard I feel the stirrings of a headache. “Yes.”
“Ah ah ah,” he chides, waving a finger in the air. “I want to hear you say it. Are you hungry for my cock?”
I bite down on my cheek so hard I taste blood. I close my eyes again and try to remember why only moments ago this seemed like the best course of action. Get through this and then I’m free. You can put up with anything in the world for just fifteen short minutes, Calliope Marie Cruise. The pep talk only helps minimally. Enough for me to choke out the phrase Gentry wants in a stilted, monotone voice. “I’m hungry for your cock.”
“That’s right,” Gentry croons, “you nasty fucking cum bucket. All you can think about is choking on my monster cock.”
If I try hard enough, I can just pretend I’m not here, right? There are not nine pairs of eyes on my body and I am not splayed out like a Christmas ham on the table.
“Richard, would you like to do the honors of initiating play?”
My head whips up at that. The fuck?
I see Richard moving way faster than a man of his age should around the table. He’s rubbing his hands together. There’s a huge grin on his face and his eyes are glued to my ass. The front of his pants jut out obscenely.
My head swings back to Gentry. “I’m only blowing you.” I whisper through gritted teeth. “That’s the only way I do this.”
Gentry laughs and grabs my chin in between his fingers. For most people, this would be a sweet gesture, but Gentry puts enough strength behind it so that he’s forcing my jaw to make my lips open in an O. “So eager, are we?”
“Only you,” I growl through his grip on my jaw.
He nods, sobering for just a moment. “Only me.”
I breathe out in relief until the old man’s nasty damp hand grabs my ass. “But the others get to touch,” Gentry finishes, shoving his thumb in my mouth. He shoves it in so far I cough. He just looks amused before pulling it out and leaving Richard to it.
The old man grabs and slaps my ass like I’m some kind of mare. Unlike Jackson’s expert spanking in the limo, Richard doesn’t seem to know what the fuck he’s doing. His hits are too hard and land in the same place over and over. Just thinking of this dirty old man and Jackson in the same thought makes a tide of shame swarm me.
“Look at how she’s jiggling, the cunt likes it,” Richard pants after the eighth slap.
All right, fucker—
But Gentry must see I’m about to turn and lose it on the old bastard because Gentry grabs my wrists like he’s constraining me and chuckles at Richard. “Okay, Rich, time to give everyone else a go.”
Richard grunts in dissatisfaction, but from how hard he’s breathing, it’s obvious he couldn’t keep it up for much longer anyway. He lands one last hard smack anyway and I yelp in protest. This time when Gentry holds me back, it’s not all for show.
He leans over and whispers in my ear, “Act like you’re resisting me now, they love it.”
“You can’t handle a real man putting you in your place,” Gentry says louder. Now we’re mak
ing fucking theater out of it? This is such a fucking twisted game. I can’t believe I’m going along with this.
“That’s the problem these days,” he continues with a growl, grabbing my upper arm. His face is fierce but his grip is light. “Uppity bitches who don’t know their place. I’m gonna teach you, right here, right now. And you’re gonna take it, aren’t you bitch? Stupid fucking cunt.”
I glance significantly at the clock behind Gentry’s head and glare at him. Fifteen minutes, fucker. I wait for the slightest nod of acknowledgment before I go along with his gamut. Then I start shaking my head. “No, no, no.” I close my eyes and pretend to struggle against him. “You can’t do this. I don’t want to do this.” Gentry slams his palm across my mouth, shutting off my cries.
“Carl,” he nods his head at the young, handsome businessman I thought seemed so professional when I first met him. “Hold her for me.”
Carl moves closer, eyes bright. Wow, glad I’m so good at spotting the good guys from the screwed-up ones. Then again, I should just assume that anybody who is in Gentry’s inner circle is fucked up.
Jackson and Gentry used to be friends. Maybe it’s a good thing that will never go anywhere. For Christ’s sake, Jackson spanked and then finger-fucked me in his limo while I was sobbing.
No more time to think about that now. Carl leans over my back and puts me in some kind of wrestling hold where my elbows are constricted against my body. Though I can still hold myself up on all fours. Considerate lad, I internally roll my eyes. I’m bent lower toward the table though, and Carl maneuvers me so that my face is near the edge. Where I’m confronted with Gentry undoing his belt buckle.
I swallow and then swallow again. My breaths get short and I force myself not to hyperventilate. Which, of course, is when I want to let out a crazed hyena like cackle. Because last time I was hyperventilating, Jackson spanked me till I was calm. I’m sure someone in this room would be happy to spank me again. Without Jackson, though, it would only have the opposite effect.
And that’s when I feel like sobbing.
Oh God, what the hell am I doing?
Gentry unzips his pants and shoves his boxers down. There’s no fanfare as he pulls out his cock. I’ve seen it before, of course, when he was masturbating by the windowed wall, but there had been about three feet separating us. Far different from it being right here bobbing in my face.
How did I let it get to this?
One man holding my hands while I’m face down on a table, surrounded by a bunch of business men while another shoves his cock in my face?
WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?
Fuck the money! Fuck it if I have to work as a waitress for five years!
Nothing’s worth this!
I turn away from Gentry’s cock, but I barely get anywhere with Carl holding my arms behind my back. “No,” I say firmly. I start to struggle against his grip on my arms.
“Don’t be a cock-tease, you little bitch,” Gentry smirks. “You were begging for it just a minute ago.” He shoves his dick toward my mouth but I lock my teeth shut and twist my head away.
“I said no. No, I changed my mind. No to the deal. To all of this. Let me go.” I wrestle against the hold Carl has on me. “Let me go!” I shriek when Carl’s hold only tightens.
“That’s right, baby,” Carl says. “I love it when they play hard to get. Inside you’re begging for it, aren’t you, cunt?” He’s all but laying on top of me from behind and I can feel him fully hard on the back of my thigh.
Oh God. I try to breathe. They’re not— Why aren’t they stopping— My chest hurts. I need a breath. I have to make them understand. Do they think this is part of the fucking act? I manage a full breath in. “No, I’m being serious! I’m not fucking playing!”
Then I remember the word Jackson gave me—the safeword that’s widely acknowledged in all circles of kink. Surely someone in this room is familiar with it.
“Red!” I shout. “Stop! No! Red!”
For a second everything pauses.
Gentry looks me straight in the eye.
Then he takes my jaw in both hands.
And jams his dick into my mouth. A moment later, there’s a quick sharp pain as I’m penetrated and then I’m being fucked from behind at the same time.
CHAPTER 19
This isn’t what I was warned about.
This is supposed to be the terror that hides in the shadows. That thing that happens in dark allies. When drinks are left unguarded at clubs. On college campuses at frat parties when no one’s looking.
Not mid-morning in a conference room at a respectable office building in the Silicon Valley.
This isn’t what I was warned about.
That’s the stupid thought that keeps running through my head. As man after man uses my body. A train of men. That’s what they call it, right? A train.
I should’ve run when I had the chance earlier. If I ever had a chance. I didn’t realize I was being surrounded by predators as they came in one by one, looking so innocuous. Still, I should never have come into this situation without protection. I was warned about Gentry. He’s dangerous. My stupid fucking bravado. Thinking I could handle everything on my own. And then not even bringing any protection, not even a fucking knife. Christ, I didn’t even turn on my phone to record whatever might happen. I just never thought in a million years…
I close my eyes. Chant over and over in my head. I’m not here. This is not my body. I’m on the moors in England like in one of the stupid historical romances I like to read. It’s stormy and loud and I can’t hear anything but the wind battering against the rocks. Yes, that’s it. It’s just the wind yanking at my body. Nothing more. Only the rain and wind howling in my ears, blocking out all other sounds.
Except my mind isn’t always that strong and sensations sneak through. Gentry’s voice. Always like a king presiding over each encounter. He gagged me after his first use of me. Sometimes an especially sharp pinch or squeeze brings me back to the here and now. I’m aware enough to know they all wear condoms, except for when Gentry came in my mouth. Each man leaves one by one after they’ve had their fill of me. It must have been Gentry’s plan all along. No. Nothing’s happening to me. I’m not here. Not here. Not here.
Lords and ladies in ballrooms. Silver tea sets. Lace and ruffles and hoop skirts and corsets… being ripped off by violent men.
Violating me.
Violating.
Violating.
I come while the third or fourth man pumps into me. It’s a small orgasm. But, God, why? Why?
I want to die, the shame is so thick. How could I? How could I?
It continues. On and on.
I have my eyes squeezed shut tight, I don’t know how much later, when I notice how quiet it is in the room. There are still hands on me, holding me in place. Always Carl and Gentry while the others used me. But I don’t hear the usual horrible introductory bullshit as each man was initiated. I won’t let myself believe it’s over, not until they’re all gone. I hazard a glance around. It’s just Gentry, Carl, and me left in the room.
By this point, I’m used and crumpled as I lie on the table. I’m thirsty, exhausted, and barely hanging on to… I don’t even know what.
Hanging onto me. Whatever makes me me? I’m still somewhere left inside, right? Please God.
I blink eyes that are puffy and feel like they’ve been sandblasted. I didn’t register tears. Have I been crying this whole time?
“I think she’s finally ready for us, don’t you, Carl?” Gentry grabs my chin. “She’s been prepped well enough?”
God, what does that mean? I can barely put the thought together though. A low-pitched whine is all that manages to make its way out of my throat. All my feisty curses dried up hours ago.
I blink again and try to force some backbone into my voice. “Shtawp. Pwease,” I say around the gag.
Gentry just laughs and my head sinks back to the table. I don’t know why I thought pleading would make a difference now.
Gentry grabs my breast and squeezes it mercilessly. I cringe in pain and whimper. Oh God, how long till he lets me go? What if he never does?
“Our afternoon isn’t over yet, pet,” Gentry says, tugging on his cock roughly. With his other hand, he reaches to grab something out of the pocket of his discarded suitcoat on the table behind him. God, another condom? Something between my ribs seems to crack at the thought.
But when I see what he’s actually folding, I can only stare at it, confused. It looks like one of those fat dry erase markers. What—?
I don’t have to wonder long, though.
I put up only the weakest resistance when Carl pries my thighs apart yet again. There’s a wicked smile on Gentry’s face when he lubricates the marker with my juices. Then, in spite of my muffled shouts of protest and fight I didn’t know I still had in me, Gentry works the thing past the tight ring of muscles and into my back entrance.
I blink and scrabble with my fingers to scratch at the hands holding me, to do something. This is wrong. This is all so… I can’t—
Then Carl swings his body up on the table top beside me. Both the men handle me like I’m a ragdoll as they heft me up and over Carl’s body. I struggle, but even as they move me, Gentry keeps hold of my arms. He locks them behind my back as they position me over Carl. Legs spread. Of course.
The marker is still in my ass when I feel Carl position his cock at my cunt. Might as well call it that. It’s a cunt. That’s all I am to these men. A cunt to fill. A whore to them. Little more than a blow-up doll. Carl’s bigger than the other men. I let out a low whine as he stretches me. Gravity sinks me down deep on him and I turn my face away from the ecstasy that’s written all over his face.
“Oh yeah, baby. Oh yeah, I’ve needed this hot, dirty cunt.” He grabs my hips and pumps up into me hard. My body jolts with each thrust, but I’m forced to take it because Gentry is holding me still from above while Carl fucks me from below.
“Oh yeah, oh fuck, my cock is so fucking big in you. Take it, yeah, that’s right. Take it.” He pistons up even harder. “Take it you little slut. You’ve been waiting for my big cock to fill you up, haven’t you? Ugh,” he groans, “you’ve been wanting it. So. Hard.” He punctuates each word with a hard punch of his hips.
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