“Neil. How’s it goin’ mate?”
“I’m not your mate, remember that.”
He nods at me. “How’s Sarah? Or is it Bonnie? I can’t keep up with you these days. I don’t blame you though, I’d fuck either of them…”
Fisting his jacket, I yank him towards me “Don’t push my fucking buttons, Tommy. I can get you sacked quicker than you were even hired. Do you hear me?”
“Of course.” He smirks, winding me up that little bit more.
Finding the nearest wall, I shove him up against it.
“Neil. Put him down,” Dylan shouts from behind me. Pushing away from him, I stand back as Dylan comes to join us.
“Have you not got any work to do?” Dylan asks Tommy.
Tommy just grins and turns away, straightening his clothes.
“That little fucker will be grinning through the blood of his teeth if he keeps trying to wind me up.
“He’s doing it for that reason. Don’t worry. Leave Tommy to us. Unfortunately, I need him for now, so play nice.”
“Play nice? What the fuck!” Storming away from Dylan, I slam my office door shut and sit in my chair. My knee bounces erratically, and there’s only one person who can relieve this tension that’s coursing through me and that’s Bonnie. I can either cast my mind back to this morning and think about Bonnie, or go back out there and beat the fuck out of Tommy… I think this is safer.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Bonnie
What the hell is she doing here?
“Aren’t you going to invite me in, Bonnie? I mean, it’s the least you can do seeing as you stole my man from me.” Sarah sneers at me, and it takes everything I have not to lay her out on my doorstep.
“What the fuck do you want, Sarah? I thought we made it perfectly clear that we hate each other, so how about you climb back in your car and go back to whatever hole you crawled out of.”
Serena comes to stand next to me, placing her bag on the floor. “Want me to knock this crazy bitch out, Bon? Because I will.” She starts to pull the sleeves up on her blouse just as I place my hand on her arm to stop her.
“It’s okay, I’ve got this. You need to go back to work,” I tell her.
“Are you sure? Because if I’m honest, I don’t like the idea of leaving you alone with her.” Serena's disdain for Sarah is clear in her voice and she’s not afraid to show it.
“Oh, pipe down, will you. I’m not here to hurt her; I just want to talk to her. You know, woman to woman.” Sarah places her hands on her hips and her and Serena end up in a stare off.
Oh, fuck this shit, I just want to know what she wants then she can fuck off and never bother any of us ever again. The quicker I talk to her the quicker it will be all over with.
Bending at the waist, I pick Serena’s bag up from the floor and hand it to her. “Go back to work, I can handle her. Just don’t say anything to Neil. He’ll only worry, or worse, he’ll come here, and all hell will break loose.” I can see she doesn’t want to leave, and she’s torn on what to do. To pacify her, I tell her, “I’ll call you, I promise. Just remember; not a word to Neil.”
Taking her bag from me, she narrows her eyes and hugs me, whispering in my ear. “Give the bitch hell.” She lets me go and walks towards Sarah, not giving a shit when she doesn’t move out of the way and bashing her shoulder into hers.
I watch my best friend leave over Sarah's shoulder and wait until she’s pulled out of my drive before I allow the bitch to enter my house. “Shut the door behind you.” My voice is all steel. I won’t let her see any emotion from me. Women like her play on that shit. I stand in the middle of my living room with my arms folded across my chest and pull my shoulders back. I won’t let her see that, by her being here, my nerves are on edge—I have to be the woman I’ve always been, and that’s strong.
I watch her with a scowl on my face as she goes to sit on the sofa, stopping her. “There’s no need for you to sit; you aren’t staying. Just say what you have to say and leave.”
She comes to stand in front of me, copying my stance, and what she says next nearly has my knees giving out on me.
“You need to leave him. In fact, I’m not asking, I’m telling you to.”
My eyes widen and I nearly choke on my own saliva. Bringing a hand to my mouth, I cough and quickly get my wits about me before asking, “Now why the fuck would I do that? You can’t—”
She cuts me off with a wave of her hand. “I’m not giving you a choice in the matter. If you think I’m just going to let him walk away from me for someone like…” She looks me up and down, taking me all in. “For someone like you, then you’re sadly mistaken. Neil and I were always meant to be together. You see, not everything is as it seems, Bonnie, and I suggest that, if you want to keep everything you’ve worked hard for, you give him up. Surely a bit of dick ain’t worth you losing your career, your home over or even maybe your life. Who knows how far I’m willing to go to get what I want:”
She delivers the final blow, and I stumble slightly, my hands coming out to hold onto my fire surround behind me. Quickly righting myself, I take a deep breath in and out just like Neil showed me. “Y… You can’t do this. I love him, and he loves me. I can’t let you do this to us.”
A small laugh escapes her as she takes a step forward. “You don’t get it, do you? I’ve known him a hell of a lot longer than you, and that man only loves one woman and that’s me. Yes, we have our ups and downs and the stress of our jobs sometimes gets in the way—hence me being willing to forgive him for his little fling with you. We’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while now, and I won’t let you get in the way of that. He needs to be at home with me, to start the family he’s always promised me. You are just a little blip in our plans, but we’ll get back on track once you’re out of the picture.”
He’s been trying to get her pregnant…?
That means he’s been lying to me, saying they’ve been sleeping in separate rooms.
“And what if I don’t do as you’re asking?” I’m trying my damned hardest to stay strong, but I know I’m weakening by the second.
“I will have you removed permanently. Either way, he’ll be mine.”
I receive her threat loud and clear. My shoulders slump forward, and I know I have no choice.
“And if I get even a sniff that you’ve been seeing him again, I will come after you. And that’s not a threat: it’s a promise.” She turns to go, but before she walks out of the door she spins back and says, “I’ll expect him home this evening.” With those parting words, she slams the door behind her, leaving me with my heart ripped out of my chest.
I try to rub the pain away that’s taken up residence in my chest—the pain that I know is my heart shattering into thousands of tiny pieces.
Not only have I clashed with Neil, it seems I’ve just clashed with his crazy ex, only this time it’s not in a good way.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Neil
“Hey honey, I’m home,” I call out to Bonnie as I walk in. I don’t know why but this just feels right. Bonnie is the woman I should be with, and I think I’ve known it from the first time I met her. We just clicked.
When she doesn’t answer, I search through the downstairs for her and finally find her in the kitchen. Her designs are spread across the table, but not Bonnie: she’s standing at the kitchen window looking out.
Tiptoeing up behind her I wrap my arms around her waist lifting her from the floor, but she unlocks my fingers, removing my arms and moves away from me.
What the fuck is going on? When I left this morning, she had been happy as Larry. “Bon. What’s going on?”
When she finally turns to face me, her eyes are red and puffy, obviously from crying.
“Bon? You need to tell me what’s going on…”
She opens her mouth, but nothing comes out right away.
“Have you had another note?”
She shakes her head bu
t doesn’t look me in the eye. This is Bonnie, if anything she’s the first one to look you in the eye when she’s got something to say.
“Bonnie you’re scaring me.”
“I… I don’t think this is a good idea after all,” she stutters. “I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship, especially when you’ve only just split with Sarah.”
“Fuck off. You were ready to beat the shit out of her at the weekend, so why the change of heart? This morning when I left you were happy. What the fuck has changed?” My voice rises, and I know I’m shouting, but I can’t get my fucking head around it. She’s still avoiding my eye contact. “Are you telling me the truth? Is this it?”
“Maybe you should go back home and try again with Sarah. You can’t throw all those years away.”
“What if I don’t want to? Did you think of that? What if I’m done with my life with her.” Taking a cautious step towards her, I reach out to touch her, but she steps away.
“Please don’t.” Tears begin to fall from her eyes, and all I want is to be able to wipe them away. I know she won’t let me, so I give up on trying. For now, anyway. “Okay…” I step back reluctantly. “If that’s what you want.”
She nods. She can’t speak and I know it’s because she's way too upset, telling me this is all wrong.
Turning on my heel, I go upstairs into her bedroom and grab the clothes I took off last night before ramming them in my bag and heading back down. “I’ll be off then.”
This time when I go over to her, I do touch her because if it’s going to be my last time, I’m going to make her remember it. Placing my two fingers beneath her chin I tip her head up, smoothing my nose over the tip of hers, feeling her ragged breath blowing gently in my face. I bring our lips together and with just a feathered touch I kiss her. She accepts it, and I press just that little bit firmer. Tilting her head in my hands, I cover her mouth with mine, licking the seam and silently asking for entrance. With just a tease of my tongue against hers, I pull away and whisper against her lips, “Just remember I’ll always love you.”
A tear rolls down her cheek and I kiss it away, before moving to her forehead and let my lips linger way longer than necessary before I turn away from her. I can’t look at her again, so I grab my bag and leave.
Going to the only other place where I can vent and lose my cool, I hammer on Dylan’s door.
Serena pulls it open with a frown. “I’d like a door left thanks.” She takes one look at my face and the frown drops from her forehead and is replaced with a more worried expression.
“Where’s Dylan?” Taking her by the shoulders, I move her to the side and walk in, straight through to the kitchen where I pace the floor.
“Dylan. Neil’s here,” she shouts up the stairs before following me. “He’s upstairs on the phone to God knows who, he hasn’t said.”
My foot taps wildly on the floor tile, my patience getting the better of me.
“What’s going on? Stupid question but is everything alright. Is Bonnie okay?”
“Why do you ask? Everything is just fine and fucking dandy,” I spit.
“Neil, you’re scaring me. What’s happened?”
“What's happened?” I growl through gritted teeth. “I’ll tell you, shall I. She’s finished with me—told me to go back to that crazy fucking lunatic, that’s what’s happened. For a start, why the fuck would I do that?” My fingers drum on the tabletop. I can’t keep fucking still. I’m that fucking angry right now. “I gave everything up for that girl and would do it over and over again.”
Serena looks at me like I’ve gone mad until a light seems to come on in her head. I’m hoping that it will illuminate this situation.
“Hang on a minute: she fucking hates her. Has this got something to do with Sarah going to see Bonnie today?”
“What!” My fingers stop their drumming and my knee that was bouncing out of control suddenly stops, too.
“I took Bonnie some lunch today, and as I was leaving, Sarah was outside. She wanted to talk to Bonnie woman to woman.”
I don’t need to hear anymore. I push the chair back so hard it falls backwards as I stand, and it crashes to the floor. “Tell Dylan I’ll ring him. If this has something to do with her, I’ll fucking kill her.”
“Neil. Don’t do anything stupid. If you need me, I’m here. I’ll knock the bitch out, screwing with my girl.”
I absolutely love her loyalty, but this is on me.
As soon as the engine begins to purr, I’m screaming away from Serena in quick time and heading back to Bonnie’s. Jogging up the path I try the door, but it’s locked. I bang on it nearly as hard as I had on Dylan’s but then remember the panic attacks so go easy. I see her shadow in the glass of the door.
“Bonnie, open the door.” I say as softly as I can. I don’t want to scare her.
The key turns and the door open’s slowly. She stands aside and lets me in. As soon as I’m inside, I kick the door shut with my foot and take her by the shoulders.
“Something is going on and you’re going to tell me.” Swallowing back my fear of what she could say I go on. “What was that bitch here for today, and what could she possibly have to say to you woman to woman?”
Bonnie’s eyes close and she whispers, “Fucking Serena.”
“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me, Bonnie. I won’t let her ruin our lives together. Now take your sweet time because I’ve got all the time in the world, baby.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Bonnie
Having to tell Neil it’s over had been one of the hardest and most painful things I’ve ever had to do. But I had to let him go—not only to protect myself, but also him. She may have threatened me, but I wouldn’t put it past the crazy bitch to do something to hurt him, too.
It’s better this way.
Since he left, all I’ve done is cry my eyes out to the point they’re sore. We are supposed to be enjoying each other, discovering one another without us being a secret anymore. Only now, all of that has been taken away from us.
My phone buzzes on the kitchen table. Picking it up I see Serena has text me…
Serena - Look, I’m sorry. But I told Neil about Sarah turning up at your place today. He wasn’t happy, Bon. And FYI I think he’s on his way to see you now. Love ya xx
And before I can send a reply, there’s a knock on my door.
I want to see him, tell him what has happened, but I can’t. Telling him will make things worse for both of us. Going into the hallway, I stand against the wall, just having him on the other side of the door is better than nothing right now.
“Bonnie, open the door.” I can hear the pleading in his voice: this is breaking him just as much as it is me, and like always, I can’t say no to him. Pushing off the wall, I turn the key and unlock the door. I can see he’s seething and wants to do some untold damage; I know it’s not aimed at me but, seeing him like this, scares me a little.
With me standing to the side, he pushes his way in and takes me by the shoulders before he goes on about how he knows Sarah was here today and that he’s not going anywhere until I talk to him. I swear, if Serena weren’t my best friend, I’d throttle her for telling him.
Leading me into the living room to the sofa, he takes off his suit jacket and rolls up the sleeves of his shirt before he sits. He hadn’t been lying when he’d said he has all the time in the world. He also has no intention of letting me get away without telling him. I can see the determination on his face as he sits next to me and takes both of my hands this time into his.
“What happened today, baby? Please don’t say nothing because there is no way on this earth you can be as happy as you were with me this morning and then in the next breath tell me we’re over. Shit doesn’t work like that, and I know you love me just as much as I love you.”
I drop my head, my chin resting on my chest, and my hair falls forward covering my face.
He’s right: I do love him. I
love him more than anything in the world, and that’s why I have to protect us both. However, he’s not giving me much choice right now. I’m going to have to tell him.
My heart starts to race again, and I know if I don’t get it under control, I’m going to end up having another panic attack. Breathing in and out slowly, I get it back to normal and raise my head to look him straight in the eyes. “She threatened me.” I whisper. “I didn’t want to end it, but she didn’t give me much choice, Neil. I tried to tell her I couldn’t do it. Honest to God I did.” My words rush out of my mouth and more tears I didn’t know I had left in me start to stream down my cheeks as I tell him everything, she had said to me.
“I’ll fucking kill her.” His angry tone makes me jump, and I try to pull away from him.
“Shit! I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to scare you. You’re the last person I want to hurt.” Letting one of my hands go, he swipes a thumb under both of my eyes and tries to wipe away my sadness.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier; I felt like I had no way out, and if she hurt you because of me, I would never be able to live with myself. She’s unstable; I wouldn’t put anything past her.”
Cupping my face, he brings me forward until our heads are touching. “She isn’t going to get away with this, baby. I’m not gonna let her hurt us like this. All of this is on me. I should have ended it with her a long fucking time ago, and now I’ve dragged you into my shit.” His lips press against mine tentatively as if I’m going to reject him. I don’t. Having him touch me calms me—makes me think that we’ll be okay. He kisses me like I’m his lifeline and I’ve just given him the air he needs to breathe.
Breaking apart, he tucks my hair behind my ear and a mischievous grin spreads across his face.
Clash (The Forever Duet #2) Page 10
