Paul was silent for a moment. “I don’t remember what she said to me, but I think Jason might be right. I think she came to say goodbye.”
They grew silent, each lost in the memory of the one they’d loved so much.
“It was because of the dream that I eventually decided to live here, in your house, but I never intended to fall in love with you,” Leah confessed. “You talked about feeling guilty and being trapped between the past and the present—that’s how I felt, too. I was afraid to love you, fighting it, but at the same time I’d never been happier, or more fulfilled.”
She didn’t know how to put into words everything that was in her heart. How could she explain that she belonged to him in ways she didn’t even belong to herself?
“You felt guilty?”
Leah grinned sheepishly. “When I left today, I … I went for a drive and ended up at the cemetery. I hadn’t been there since the funeral. I wasn’t sure where her grave was, and it took me a long time to find it. When I did I just stood there, not knowing what to say, but knowing I had to say something.”
“I haven’t been there in weeks.” Paul’s voice was low, incredulous, as if he’d just realized it. “I guess the need to talk to her left me after we got married.”
Leah went on. “I told her how well the twins and Kelsey were doing, and then I got angry. I so seldom raise my voice that I think I frightened myself. I hated what was happening to me. Hated competing with her when I’d never wanted to compete before. For the first time in my life, I wanted something she had, and I didn’t know how to handle it.”
“Oh, Leah…” His thumb caressed her cheek. Leah closed her eyes, loving the glorious feel of his skin touching hers.
“I asked her if this was what she wanted—for me to love you. Because it was killing me—loving you, when you loved her. I was jealous, and I’d never been before, not once in all the years we grew up together.”
Paul pulled her toward him, adjusting their positions so she was cradled in his arms, her head on his chest.
“Did you receive any answers?”
“Yes.” She smiled, a smile that radiated out from her heart. “I was standing there, weeping, knowing I was asking the impossible, demanding an answer when there was none to be had. Only…there was.”
“But how…what answer?”
“It’d been raining most of the morning. The sky was dark and overcast.”
“Yes,” Paul concurred.
“As I was standing there, the sun broke through the clouds. I watched as the sky parted and this brilliant stream of light shot down.” Leah wasn’t sure whether she should continue, whether Paul would believe her or not. The sun parting the sky wasn’t a spectacular miracle; it was an everyday phenomenon. An everyday kind of miracle.
“I had my answer,” Leah whispered, close to tears. “You and the children are Diane’s gift to me. She gave me what she loved most—you four. She knows me so well. All along she realized I was going to fall in love with you. It’s what she wanted.”
“She knew I’d love you, too,” Paul added. “That we’d both fight it because of our loyalty to her, and yet, if she’d been able, she would’ve told us our love was by design. Her design.”
“She loved us both so much.”
“Loves,” Paul corrected softly, tightening his embrace. “I don’t think that’ll ever change.” He was still holding her when Leah sensed they were no longer alone.
Slowly she opened her eyes and glanced at the hallway. Ryan stood there, rubbing his eyes. As she watched the child—her child—her heart seemed to expand with all the love she felt.
“Did you sleep well, sweetheart?” she asked.
Ryan nodded. “Kindergartners are too old for naps.”
It was a point he argued loudly and often, and yet he fell asleep of his own accord every afternoon.
“I’m too old for naps, too,” Ronnie announced, appearing by his brother’s side and yawning widely. “Only babies go to bed in the daytime.”
“I’d like to be in bed right now,” Paul whispered in Leah’s ear. “You wouldn’t hear me complaining about taking a nap. If you were taking one with me, that is.”
“Paul,” she chastised.
“Come here, boys,” Paul called his sons. They climbed onto their father’s lap as Leah got up to check on Kelsey. If the boys were awake, then their sister probably was, too.
Sure enough, she was standing in her crib, bouncing excitedly. She broke into a grin when she saw Leah.
“How’s my darling?” Leah asked. “How’s my darling baby girl?”
Kelsey raised her arms to Leah and delivered a sentence or two of happy gibberish.
Leah and Kelsey joined Paul and the boys, and the five of them sat together on the sofa—Paul holding the twins and Leah holding Kelsey. The five of them were truly a family, Leah realized. One formed in love. A gift she’d received from her sister.
Paul’s eyes met hers and he smiled.
Leah smiled, too. She felt his love—in his smile, his touch, the warm look in his eyes.
Love… It was more than she’d ever dared to dream. More than she’d ever thought to have.
Love had found a place for her.
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Debbie Macomber is a number one New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author. Her books include 1225 Christmas Tree Lane, 1105 Yakima Street, A Turn in the Road, Hannah’s List and Debbie Macomber’s Christmas Cookbook, as well as Twenty Wishes, Summer on Blossom Street and Call Me Mrs. Miracle. She has become a leading voice in women’s fiction worldwide and her work has appeared on every major bestseller list, including those of the New York Times, USA TODAY, Publishers Weekly and Entertainment Weekly. She is a multiple award winner, and won the 2005 Quill Award for Best Romance. There are more than 100 million copies of her books in print. Two of her MIRA Christmas titles have been made into Hallmark Channel Original Movies, and the Hallmark Channel has recently launched a series based on her bestselling Cedar Cove series. For more information on Debbie and her books, visit her website, www.DebbieMacomber.com.
ISBN: 978-1-4592-3903-6
Stand-In Wife
Copyright © 1992 by Debbie Macomber
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