by Lynn, Sandi
I looked at him as I took a bite of banana bread.
“Do you really need to keep bringing that up?”
“I’m just saying that maybe you should have called her before today. You’re just going to show up unexpected, and she’s probably going to kick you in the balls,” Denny said.
“Nice, Denny. Thanks for the vote of confidence, and I don’t think she’d do that.”
“Have you met Ellery Lane?” He laughed.
I rolled my eyes and got up from the table. I put my cup and plate in the dishwasher, then looked at my watch. It was eight thirty, and Ellery’s chemo began in thirty minutes.
I climbed into the limo, and Denny drove me to the hospital.
“Good luck, Connor.”
“Thanks, Denny. I’m going to need it,” I said as I climbed out of the backseat.
I walked into the hospital and followed the signs to the cancer treatment center. I stepped through the doors of a large waiting room. The receptionist asked if she could help me, and I told her I was here for Ellery. A nurse was standing there looking over a chart and overheard me.
“You’re here for Ellery Lane?” she asked.
“Yes. I’m Connor Black.”
She looked at me and tilted her head.
“She said that nobody was going to be here with her.”
I pursed my lips together. “She isn’t expecting me.”
“Are you the husband, friend, or boyfriend?” she asked.
“It’s complicated, but I’m her friend,” I replied.
She smiled and waved her hand for me to follow her down the long hallway. We approached a large room that was filled with oversized chairs, IV poles, and curtains. She took me to the fourth chair and opened the curtain.
“Someone is here to see you.” Nurse Bailey smiled.
Ellery looked up from her phone and a wave of shock hit her face.
“What are you doing here, Connor?!” she asked quite rudely.
To see her sitting there in her yoga pants and a baggy sweatshirt was a sight for sore eyes. Her hair pulled up in a high ponytail was killing me because I loved it when she wore her hair up.
“Hello, Ellery,” I calmly spoke.
She looked down at her phone. “I asked you a question,” she snapped.
I could tell she was pissed, but I didn’t care.
“Nobody should have to go through this alone,” I said as I sat down in the chair next to her.
She pointed out that she wasn’t alone, and that she had Nurse Bailey as she continued looking at her phone. She wouldn’t even look at me, and it was seriously pissing me off. I grabbed her phone out of her hand and put it in my pocket. Needless to say, she wasn’t happy.
“What the hell, Connor?!” she yelled.
She was just about to spit fire at me when Nurse Bailey came over and inserted a needle into her port. I took a deep breath because I couldn’t imagine what she was thinking or going through when that needle went in.
“Cheers.” She smiled at Nurse Bailey.
She turned and looked at me; her blue eyes that once sparkled and danced were now dull and pained.
“I’m here as your friend, Ellery,” I said as I so desperately wanted to take her hand in mine.
“Can I have my phone back, please,” she asked holding out her hand.
I reached in my pocket and handed her the phone. Our hands touched as she took it from me. Her skin was as soft and warm as I remembered. I wanted to make it very clear to her why I was here.
“This is how this is going to work. I’m going to bring you here every week and then take you home. I’ve hired a private nurse to come to your apartment daily to tend to you and make you comfortable.”
She asked me why I was doing this, and I simply explained to her that I owed her for the night she took me home from the club. She was giving me that darling attitude of hers and told me she was fine and that I could leave. God, I’ve missed her attitude. I told her that I was staying and that she was in no position to say otherwise. She gave me a dirty look and asked me how I knew about her treatment today. I explained to her once again that I could find out anything. I didn’t dare tell her that I was having Denny follow her. She called me a stalker and then proceeded to read a book on her kindle. I opened up my iPad and started checking my emails. After fifteen minutes of silence, Ellery looked up at me.
“You don’t need to be here. I’m sure you have better things to do than sit in a room watching people get chemo for five hours,” she randomly said.
“Whether I have better things to do or not, this is how it’s going to be, so let’s be quiet, and don’t worry about it,” I replied still looking down at my iPad.
Nurse Bailey came by and asked Ellery how she was doing. I was shocked by her response.
“I’m doing fucking fantastic, Nurse Bailey, because I know that probably by tonight, I’ll have my head down the toilet for a good hour or two.”
I looked at Ellery and then at Nurse Bailey.
“Ellery, that’s enough.”
The nurse looked at me sympathetically.
“It’s alright. She’s angry right now and needs to let it out. I’m used to it. I just try to make my patients as comfortable as possible.”
I leaned in closer to her and whispered.
“Could you please stop being a smart ass? She’s only trying to help you.”
She gave me a look and raised her hands to redo her ponytail. My eyes instantly went to her wrists as the sleeves of her sweatshirt fell back. I nearly gasped when I saw the tattoos; my name on her left wrist and the infinity sign on her right. Why the hell would she do that? I didn’t want to say anything to her about it. I wanted to wait and see if she would tell me.
I got up and told Ellery I’d be right back. I walked down the hall to the restroom to catch my breath. I was speechless as to what I’d just saw, and I couldn’t understand why she would do that. As I was heading back to Ellery, Nurse Bailey stopped me in the hallway.
“Listen, Mr. Black, Ellery is going through a bunch of raw emotions right now. She’s feeling sad, anxious, depressed, and most of all, angry. She’s angry that this is happening to her all over again. She’s angry at life right now. When she’s angry, everyone around her will feel it too. It’s a normal part of the emotional process of having cancer and going through the chemotherapy treatments,” she said as she put her hand on my shoulder.
“Thank you. I’ll remember that, and I plan on making her as comfortable as possible.” I smiled.
It was a long five hours. Not because of Ellery’s chemo treatment, but because of her attitude and anger towards me. I didn’t blame her for being mad at me. I was mean, rude, and out of line at the hotel in Michigan, and I’d find a way to make that up to her. I took her blanket to hold it for her, and she ripped it out of my hands while telling me she’s got it. I sighed as she walked several feet in front of me. We approached the limo, and I graciously opened the door for her. She slid in the back seat without even looking at me. The only person who got a hello and a smile was Denny. He was thrilled to see her. I could tell he missed her as well.
She sat there, staring out the window and still refusing to look at me. I asked her how she was feeling, and she said she was fine. She obviously didn’t want to talk, so I left her alone, and there was silence the whole way to her apartment. After hearing what she told Nurse Bailey about how she anticipated getting sick, I decided she shouldn’t be left alone. I knew Peyton was out of town with Henry, so she wouldn’t be able to stay with her.
We pulled up to her apartment, and I followed her inside.
“I want you to start packing,” I said.
“For what?” she asked as she turned and looked at me.
I took in a sharp breath. “You will be staying in the guest room at my penthouse.”
“I’m not going anywhere. This is my home, and this is where I’m staying!” she snapped at me.
“Listen to me,” I said in a raised voice. “
I don’t want you staying here alone.”
She walked over to me with a strange look on her face and put her finger to my chest.
“I’m not your fucking charity case, Connor Black, and I don’t need your help. Besides, you hate me anyway, why would you want to help me after what I did?” she said as she slowly turned around and walked to the sink, resting her hands on the counter.
It hurt me to know that she thought I hated her. Maybe that was the reason for her behavior towards me today. I slowly walked up behind her. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, but I couldn’t.
“Ellery, I don’t hate you. Please don’t ever say that again. Yes, I will admit that I’m still angry, and that I probably will be for a while, but I need to put all that aside because you are my friend, and you need help. Please put your stubbornness aside, and let me help you.”
“You said you hired a nurse to come here,” she softly spoke with her back still turned to me.
“Well, I’m making other arrangements,” I said.
She turned around and looked at me with sadness in her eyes as she agreed and went to pack her bag. I let out a sigh because I was relieved. That was easier than I thought it was going to be. She was one stubborn girl and can put up a fight until she wins.
* * *
I took her bag upstairs to the guest room and set it in the corner as Ellery laid herself on the bed. I could tell she loved that bed. I could see the corners of her mouth slightly curve up as she ran her hands across the comforter. I’m glad I made the decision to bring her here. I just hoped I didn’t end up regretting it. Seeing her sitting in that chair at the hospital while getting treatment was melancholy. I never dreamed in a million years that I would be bringing home a girl with cancer and taking care of her. It wasn’t me, but then again, I wasn’t the same person when I was with Ellery.
I had a business dinner with Paul this evening. I told her I was going out tonight and that she’s welcome to help herself to anything she needs or wants. She gave me a half smile as I turned and walked out the door. I didn’t want to leave her, but Denny had agreed to stay until I got home in case something happened. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door to meet Paul.
I arrived back home around eleven pm and went upstairs to check on Ellery. Denny said she had been sleeping since I left. The door was opened a crack, and I peeked inside to make sure she was okay. She was sleeping peacefully. I walked to my room and changed into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. I sat on the bed and opened my laptop to do some work. I had fallen asleep for a while and woke up to the sound of Ellery vomiting in the bathroom. I jumped out of bed and headed down the hall to the bathroom. I slightly opened the door and saw her on the floor and over the toilet, violently vomiting.
“Ellery,” I whispered as I took her hair and held it back in my hands.
She told me to go away because she didn’t want me seeing her like this. I knelt down beside her while holding her hair and told her I wasn’t going anywhere until she was back in bed. About an hour later, she was finally done vomiting. She rested her elbows on the toilet and cupped her face in her hands. I walked over to the sink and wet a washcloth with tepid water. I folded it and patted it gently across her head. She grabbed the washcloth from me as I helped her stand up because she was weak. I held her arm and helped her back to bed. I pulled the covers over her, and as I turned to walk away, she lightly grabbed my hand. I turned around and looked at her.
“This is nothing. You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into, Mr. Black.”
I stared at her pale and pained face. I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I just turned around and walked out the door, leaving it slightly open.
* * *
The next morning I woke up early because I needed to go to the office. I showered and put on my jeans and a button down shirt. I walked to Ellery’s room, stood outside the door, and listened. I could hear her stirring in bed. I quietly opened the door and asked her if she was awake. She looked at me in a way that made me ache for her. I asked her how she was feeling, and she told me that she was okay and going to take a shower. I told her that when she was done to come downstairs and Claire would make her breakfast. She asked me who Claire was. Apparently, I forgot to tell her that I had a housekeeper. Before she went into the bathroom, I told her I had to go to the office for a while, and I’d be home later. She said, “Okay, see ya,” in a tone that was cold and flat.
I went to the kitchen and explained to Claire that Ellery was sick last night, and she may or may not want to eat. She told me not to worry, and that she would take care of her. I grabbed a cup of coffee and took it to my office to do some computer work before heading to Black Enterprises. I sat back in my chair and ran my hands through my hair. What the hell was I doing? Having her here was nice, but it was emotionally painful at the same time. I walked back to the kitchen where Claire and Ellery were talking.
“Ah, I see you two have met,” I said.
“I thought you left,” she said with a snotty attitude.
“I had to finish up some computer work here first, but don’t worry, I’ll be leaving soon.”
Claire looked at her and then eyed me as I grabbed a bowl of fruit and sat the table. Claire set a plate of eggs in front of her and told her to eat up. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye as she took a small bite. I finished my fruit and coffee and walked over to her.
“I’m leaving now, so if you need anything, Claire will be here all day.”
She didn’t look at me. All she did was wave her hand at me.
“This is going to be more difficult than I thought,” I mumbled as I left.
Chapter 17
I was sitting at my desk, signing some contracts when I received a call from Denny.
“Denny, what’s up?”
“I think you should know that Ellery left the penthouse,” he said.
“What the hell do you mean she left the penthouse?!” I yelled.
“Claire went to check on her, and she was gone. Not gone as in moved out, but gone like she went somewhere.”
“Shit, she shouldn’t be going out as she still isn’t feeling well. Thanks, Denny. I’ll find her.”
I hung up and dialed Ellery’s number. After a few rings it, went to voicemail. I hung up and dialed again. It went to voicemail. I sighed as I got up from my chair and headed out of the office to find her. Damn her. Why did she have to be so difficult? I didn’t get what went on in that stubborn head of hers.
I checked her apartment, but she wasn’t there. I decided to check the soup kitchen, maybe she stopped there for a visit. She wasn’t at the soup kitchen, so I got back in the Range Rover and put my forehead on the steering wheel. I was desperately trying to figure out where she could have gone. The clouds in the sky were rolling in, and it looked like it was going to rain. Then it hit me; I bet she went to Central Park. As I was on my way to Central Park, it started to rain. I parked, grabbed the black umbrella, and walked to the Conservatory Gardens. The rain started pouring down hard. From a distance, I saw a blanket spread out in the middle of a grassy area, and as I approached it, I saw Ellery lying down and looking up at the sky as the rain fell down upon her.
“Ellery, what the hell do you think you’re doing? Are you crazy?!” I yelled from a distance.
“Aren’t you the crazy one for coming out here after me?!” She yelled back.
My jaw tightened at her smart ass remark. “Look at you, you’re soaked. Get up now before you get sick.”
“I’m already sick, Connor. What’s the difference?” She laughed.
I stood there and stared down at her. It hit me hard when she said she was already sick. She was scared and living life the way she wanted, just in case the day came that she couldn’t anymore. I took in a deep breath and laid myself down on the soaked blanket next to her, staring up at the sky, trying to see what Ellery saw. She looked over at me, and from the corner of my eye, I saw a small smile escape her lips.
“Why are you doi
ng this?” I asked as I turned and looked at her.
“Because I can lay here and no one will know I’m crying,” she said, looking up at the sky.
I felt a pain in my heart when she said that. She was out here, in the pouring rain, to mask the tears that plagued her face. She was trying to put on a brave front, but I knew she was torn apart inside. I reached over and put my hand on top of hers. She didn’t look at me. We just laid there, staring up at the sky without saying a word. We didn’t need words. Holding her hand was all the both of us needed. After a while, Ellery sat up on her elbows and said she was cold and ready to go. We stood up. I grabbed the rain soaked blanket and opened the umbrella as we started to head out of Central Park. All of a sudden, Ellery turned the other way and started to vomit in some nearby bushes. I stood behind her until she was finished. I handed her the corner of the blanket so she could wipe her mouth. I asked her to hold the umbrella as I picked her up in my arms and carried her to the Range Rover. We arrived back at the penthouse, but she still wasn’t feeling well, so I carried her to the bedroom. She told me she was going to take a bath and then lay down for a while. I took a quick shower to warm up and changed into some dry clothes. I went downstairs to talk to Claire and Denny.
“I hope you weren’t too hard on her, Connor,” Denny said.
“I can’t even explain how I felt when I saw her laying in the middle of Central Park in the pouring rain. I wasn’t hard on her at all. She just wanted to be alone for a while,” I said as I sat down at the table for dinner.
Denny left to go home for the night, and Claire was cleaning the kitchen when my cell phone rang, and a familiar number appeared.
“Hello, Connor Black here.”
“Connor, Peyton here.” She laughed.
“Hey, Peyton, what’s up?” I asked as I rolled my eyes.
“I don’t want you to worry, but I haven’t been able to get a hold of Ellery for two days. Do you know anything?”
