by Lynn, Sandi
“I’ve made an appointment with my doctor to have my vasectomy reversed.”
“What? Connor, no, you can’t,” she said.
I looked at her and was surprised at her reaction. “Listen to me. I want this because I want a family with you, and if we can have our own child, that would be amazing. I’m not saying it’ll work, but there’s a 50/50 chance, and I think we should try it.”
“But my genes suck, and you know it.” She sighed.
I laughed and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Your genes are beautiful.”
“I guess I’m just scared,” she whispered.
“Don’t worry, baby. Everything is going to work out. You just wait and see,” I said right before we fell fast asleep.
Chapter 26
A couple of weeks later, I felt the emptiness on Ellery’s side of the bed as I rolled over. I opened my eyes and noticed that it read four am on the clock. I looked around the dark room. The only shadow of light was coming from the clock. I got out of bed, put on my pajama bottoms, and walked downstairs to find Ellery sitting at her easel and painting. I walked over to her as she turned her head and looked at me.
“I’m sorry, babe. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“No, you didn’t wake me, but why aren’t you sleeping?” I asked as I slipped my arms around her shoulders.
“I couldn’t sleep. I have too much on my mind, and painting always helps me clear my head.”
“You need to talk to me, Ellery. Please tell me what’s on your mind,” I said as I kissed the top of her head.”
“It’s nothing to worry about. I’ve just been thinking about my last treatment and where we go from there.”
“We simply move forward,” I said as I lifted her from the chair. “It doesn’t matter what happens. We move ahead and take it one day at a time, because baby, time is all we have.” I smiled as I picked her up and carried her back to bed. She smiled as she put her arms around me. I laid her on the bed and held her tight, letting her know she had nothing to worry about.
A couple of hours later, the alarm went off, and I needed to head to the office. I looked out the window, and the snow was lightly falling. I looked over at Ellery as she laid there on the bed sound asleep. I took a hot shower, got dressed, and headed to the kitchen for some much needed coffee. Denny walked in behind me.
“Good morning, Connor,” he spoke. “Any word yet on the Chicago fire?”
I sighed as I took a sip from my cup. “No, not yet. They had to let the guy go because of insufficient evidence. But don’t worry, I have my men working on it. They’ll find out who set that fire.”
“What fire?” I heard as I turned around and Ellery was standing in the middle of the kitchen.
“What are you doing out of bed?” I asked.
“Don’t worry about why I’m here. Answer my question, Connor,” she said as she poured herself a cup of coffee.
Denny looked at me and smiled.
“Someone set the Chicago building on fire, and they burnt it to the ground,” I answered her.
She sat down next me after she gave both Denny and I a kiss on the cheek.
“Good morning to my two favorite men.” She smiled. “Who would do that to you?” she asked with concern.
“I have no idea, Elle. That’s what we’re trying to find out, and I don’t want you worrying about it.” I wanted to quickly change the subject because I knew this would ultimately lead to an argument as I didn’t tell her about it when it happened.
“I’m taking you ice skating tonight,” I said.
Denny looked at me and raised an eyebrow because he knew what I was doing.
“I don’t know how to ice skate.”
“Then I’ll just have to teach you.” I grinned.
I got up from the table and kissed her lips. “Be a good girl today and stay out of trouble. I’ll see you later.”
I got out of there as quickly as I could before she could ask any more questions.
* * *
The snow was falling lightly as Ellery and I stepped onto the ice at Rockefeller Center.
“I’m scared, Connor. You better not let go of me,” she nervously said.
“Don’t worry, baby. I already told you that I’m never letting you go.” I smiled as I kissed the tip of her nose. I faced her and held both her hands. Her ankles were wobbling all over the place as we moved slowly across the ice. It was a beautiful night, and a perfect scene. The trees all around the arena were lit up, casting a soft light down on the ice. People were skating and having a good time. I couldn’t help but notice the couples that brought their children and were teaching them to skate. It gave me a warm feeling inside, and it got me thinking about my vasectomy reversal that I had done a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to have a child with Ellery someday, and I couldn’t imagine not having a family with her. We’d discussed that if the reversal didn’t work, and if Ellery wasn’t able to conceive, then we were going to adopt.
“Where’d you go, Mr. Black?” She smiled.
I led her over to the railing and wrapped by arms securely around her waist.
“I was just thinking how nice it’ll be when we bring our children here someday.”
She kissed my cheek. “Then you’d better get moving and teach me how to skate. I don’t want to look stupid in front of our kids.”
I laughed and let go of her. I skated a few feet away and held out my arms like a parent teaching their child to walk for the first time.
“You’re crazy if you think I’m skating to you by myself,” she said.
“Come on, Elle, you can do it. Just take small steps.”
As I was waiting for her, and she stood there holding onto the rail, Peyton came out of nowhere and grabbed her. Ellery screamed as she lost her balance, and they both fell flat on their asses on the hard ice. Henry came up to me as we shook hands.
“Thanks for inviting us out tonight,” he said.
“Thanks for joining us. I didn’t tell Ellery that you two were coming. I wanted it to be a surprise.”
I looked over at her and Peyton as they sat on the ice laughing. It was gratifying to see her so happy.
“Have you decided what you’re going to do if Ellery’s treatments don’t work?” Henry asked.
“I’ve been in touch with a specialist over in Germany, and he said he’ll see her if she isn’t better, but he’s heard great things about the clinical trial.”
“I know that everything will work out, and she’ll get better. Dr. Murphy is one of the best research doctors in the country,” he said as he put his hand on my shoulder.
“Thanks Henry. I hope so because I don’t know what I’d do if something ever happened to her.”
“Don’t think like that man. The universe works in mysterious ways, and look what it’s done for the two of you already.”
Peyton helped Ellery up and led her over to me.
“Thank you for inviting Peyton and Henry to join us.” She kissed me my cold lips.
I hugged her and turned her around so her back was against my chest. I told her to move slowly with me, one foot at a time. We skated on the ice together as I held her tight, making sure she didn’t fall.
“I love you,” I whispered in her ear.
“I love you too, Connor.”
Peyton and Henry skated up to us and she gave me an evil grin.
“Ellery can skate you know, and she’s good at it.” She laughed as she skated away.
We stopped and I turned her around. “You can skate?” I asked.
She looked at me and cocked her head. “Maybe I can a little.” A smirk crossed her beautiful lips.
I sighed as I stared into her eyes. “So, all this time you pretended that you didn’t know how to skate? Why?”
“Because I liked the idea of you holding me and protecting me.”
“Ellery Lane!” I exclaimed as I let go of her, and she smiled at me.
She started skating backwards holding out her hands as I stood there.
>
“Come on, big boy. Come and get me.” she grinned as she took off around the rink. I skated after her as Peyton and Henry stood to the side and laughed. She was fast. I couldn’t believe she tricked me, but that made her more irresistible. I caught up with her and grabbed her from behind. I pushed her up against the side of the railing and kissed her passionately. We were both out of breath as our tongues tangled, and our cold lips started to warm.
“You’re a very bad girl, Ellery, and I think you need to be punished.”
“You’re going to punish me here, right in front of all these people?”
“No, I’ll save your punishment for later when we’re in bed.”
She looked at me and pouted. “I’m sorry, babe, but you’ll have to put my punishment on hold because you can’t have sex yet.”
I ran my finger across her lips. “Oh, sweetheart, what I have planned for you won’t involve me having sex with you.”
Her eyes widened as she looked directly at me. Henry and Peyton skated over to us.
“Break it up you two love birds, and let’s get some dinner. I’m starving,” Peyton said.
We got off the ice and headed to Pizzapopolous. It wasn’t my first choice of fine dining, but Ellery and Peyton wanted pizza. It was a good night spent with friends, and even better when we got home where Ellery received her punishment.
* * *
I spent the next few days coming home from the office and finding Ellery sitting in front of her easel. Sometimes she wouldn’t even hear me come in, and I’d stand a few feet away and watch her. When you looked at her, you could tell she was in a different world while she painted. Our evenings were spent having dinner, talking about our day, laughing, and drinking. We would sit on the couch by the fire, cuddle, and watch movies. This is what my life had become, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Ellery’s last treatment was in two days, and we were leaving for California tomorrow. I took her upstairs and made love to her for the first time since my vasectomy. The feeling was incredible as I moved in and out of her, knowing that every time we made love, there was the possibility of her conceiving a child. The doctor told us it could take a year or longer, if at all. I hovered over her, our hearts racing, and both of us breathless. I stared into her eyes, looking beyond them into her soul.
“You complete me, Ellery. You’ve given me a life of happiness that I never knew existed, and I’ll spend the rest of my life thanking you.”
A tear fell from her eye and stopped at her cheek. I pressed my lips against it and held them there for a few seconds. She softly closed her eyes as I lowered myself on her and buried my face in her neck. She tightened her arms around me and whispered, “I love you so much, and I’ll never leave you. I promise you that.”
* * *
As we approached Dr. Murphy’s office, Ellery put her hand on the doorknob and stopped. She stood there looking down at it as if she was frozen. I placed my hand on top of hers.
“Baby, come on, we have to go in,” I whispered.
“I know. Just give me a minute, please,” she said.
I removed my hand from hers and gave her the minute she needed. She took in a deep breath, turned the knob, and opened the door. We walked in and were greeted by the receptionist. She led us to the usual room and handed Ellery her gown. I sat with her on the edge of the bed and held her hand as she laid her head on my shoulder. We waited for Dr. Murphy for what seemed like hours.
“Well, this is it Ellery. Are you ready?” Dr. Murphy asked as she finally walked through the door.
Ellery put on a fake smile and nodded her head. I took hold of both her hands and planted them firmly against my shirt. She took in a deep breath as her hands clutched the fabric with each burning injection.
“One month from today, you’ll be back here for blood work,” Dr. Murphy instructed as she injected the last needle.
I nodded my head as I pulled Ellery into an embrace and whispered in her ear, “Now we wait.”
I wanted to take her back to the apartment to rest, but she insisted that I take her to the beach. I tried to reason with her, but she wouldn’t listen. I was sure she had her reasons for wanting to go at that particular time, so I took her to the beach like she asked. She walked towards the shoreline and stood in the sand, staring straight ahead at the water. I stood next to her and stared out into the water with her.
“Tell me what you’re feeling, Elle.”
“I’m feeling scared, anxious, and most of all unsure. I hate this, Connor. I knew this day would eventually come. I don’t know what’s worse, the treatments or the waiting,” she said as she continued staring straight ahead.
I put my arm around her. “You have me to take away all your fears. I know waiting is the hardest part, but the results will come back normal. You were made for me, and I will never let anything or anyone take you away. It will always be forever you.”
She turned to me and buried her head in my chest. She sobbed as we slowly fell into the sand, and I held her until she wore herself out. I hated seeing her like this, and I’d do anything to take away her pain, but the only thing I could do right now was make her feel safe.
* * *
We spent the next month trying to live as normal as possible in New York. Ellery had her moments of doubt and broke down in my arms at the mere mention of our future together. Peyton tried to get her mind off the waiting by talking to her about planning the wedding. I wanted to set a date, but she said that she wouldn’t even think about it until after the results come back. I tried to tell her that it didn’t matter and that I was marrying her regardless of what the results showed. But, as usual, Ellery was stubborn, and when she had her mind set on one thing, there was no changing it. She spent a lot of her time painting and escaping into a world where, as she put it, she was healthy.
I decided to begin working on Ellery’s wedding present. I want to give her the future she wanted, and her painting, the Cape Cod house, is how she saw her future. The property was perfect. It was right on the beach just like in her painting. I hired rotating crews so the house and the property would be worked on twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Ellery listened to me and decided to keep the painting rather than selling it. I told her that I would put it in storage for safekeeping until we found a place for it. I showed it to the builder and told him to replicate the painting exactly as it was. The house and property had to be perfect for her as it represented our beginning and our forever.
Chapter 27
Dr. Murphy sent over a script to Dr. Taub so Ellery didn’t have to wait to get her blood work done. She had lengthy conversations with Dr. Taub during Ellery’s treatment period to ensure he was fully aware of everything going on. He told us that she should have the results in about three days. We flew to California the day before her results were supposed to come back. Ellery wanted to spend time with Mason and Landon. She seemed to be doing fine until I woke up at three am, and she was gone.
I rolled over and opened my eyes. Her side of the bed was empty. I got up and searched the apartment for her. Where the hell was she? I thought as I ran my hand through my hair. I picked up my phone and dialed her number, but it went straight to voicemail. I sighed as I put on a pair of jeans and a shirt. I grabbed my shoes and climbed in the Porsche. I sat there with my hands on the steering wheel trying to figure out where she’d go. It was the middle of the night, and she was out in Los Angeles all alone. I was pissed now, because once again, she had no regard for her safety. Then it hit me. I drove to the beach, got out of the car, and started heading towards the water. I could see a shadow of someone sitting on the sand.
“Ellery,” I called out.
She turned and looked at me, then back at the water as she sat there hugging her legs against her chest.
“I was worried when I woke up, and you were gone. Actually, Ellery, I was scared,” I said as I sat down next to her.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry or scare you. I couldn’t sleep, and I needed to come here
.”
“Why didn’t you wake me up? I would’ve come with you. Did you walk here?” I asked in a commanding voice.
“No. I called a cab, and I didn’t want to wake you. I just felt like I needed to be here, alone.”
“Do you want me to leave then?” I asked her in an irritated voice.
She grabbed my hand. “No, I want you to stay with me. I don’t want you to leave. I want you to watch the sunrise with me because it’ll be the start of a new day, and I’m scared to death of what this day’s going to bring.”
I closed my eyes for a moment as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into me, holding her head against my chest. “You have nothing to fear, Ellery, because I’ll take care of you regardless of what the results show. I’m your lifeline, and I promise to give you a healthy life and future no matter the cost or sacrifice.”
She lifted her head up and kissed me softly on the lips. She wasn’t the only one who was scared.
We sat and held each other while we watched the sun rise over the ocean water. It was amazing to share this experience with her, and it was one that I’d never forget. She looked up at me and smiled.
“Let’s go home and make love before we see Dr. Murphy.”
I picked her up and carried her across the sand. “It would be my pleasure to make love to you.” I smiled.
* * *
I grabbed Ellery’s hand as we walked through the parking lot of the hospital. She was trying to put on a brave front, but I could see right through it. Denny had sent me a text, asking me to call him as soon as we receive the results. We were escorted into Dr. Murphy’s office and told to have a seat. Ellery kept bouncing her leg up and down. I put my hand on her knee to try and calm her. Dr. Murphy walked through the door and looked at us.
