***
Ben opened the bottle of wine he’d bought at the little market in the town center, setting it and two glasses on the small table near the fireplace. Something was bothering Tammy, and maybe a little bit of vino would help her relax enough to tell him what was going on.
They hadn’t agreed on a time, but he figured she’d come by around seven. He grabbed the big bag from the tavern and put the takeout boxes near the wine bottle. The salty, earthy smell of burgers and fries filled his guest room. He rooted around in the bag and set the napkins and plastic silverware on the table too and stepped back.
“This feels a whole lot like a date,” he muttered.
That didn’t matter. She was coming here and he would talk to her about moving forward. To see if what they had could be something more, as un-freaking-believable as that should be.
A knock came at the door. “Ben?” she asked. “It’s me.”
Heat brushed over him at the sound of her voice. He crossed to the door and opened it. Damn, she looked good. Tight jeans and a snug knit shirt hugged her body and her hair was down and swept forward over one shoulder. Her face, though. She wore an expression he’d never seen from her before. She looked a little scared.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She blinked, and then gave him a smile that seemed a little brittle. “Nice to see you, too.”
He took her hand and pulled her into the room. “Sorry. It’s nice to see you.” His gaze ran over. “Very nice.”
She shrugged. “It’s fall. Not quite jeans weather, but I was tired of waiting for Cypress to catch up with the calendar.”
He closed the door behind her. “Yeah, I get you. I used to do the same thing in California. When autumn leaves made out of paper are the only sign that the season changed, we take it where we can.”
She eased a bit. “Like in a pumpkin spice latte.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “You like those.” He kissed her, and her lips clung for a split second as he pulled back. “Spicy and sweet, like you.”
She placed a hand on his chest. “Easy there, Big Ben. I believe you promised me dinner?”
He placed a hand on his belly and bowed. “Burgers. From the tavern.”
Her face brightened. “Oh, good. I’m starving.”
They sat down and the mood eased a little more as they began to eat.
He picked up the wine bottle, holding it over the glass in front of her. Her hand shot out to cover the glass. “No, thanks.”
Lifting the bottle away, he set it back on the table. “Okay. Do you want a soda? Water?”
“A water would be great.”
He grabbed a bottle of water and cracked it open for her, pouring it into her wine glass.
She thanked him again and nibbled on a French fry. “I just feel like I need some detox.”
“And a burger and fries is a way to do that?”
She smiled. “I said ‘some,’ Ben. Fries are a crucial food group.”
He agreed to that. As he fed one appetite, he couldn’t wait to feed another. He craved her, sitting there doing nothing but innocently eating her meal, and wanted to lick the salt off her lips. Taste the sweetness of her skin. Feel her come around him before giving in to his own climax.
“Enough,” he said, pushing aside his empty box. “You done?”
She looked up, still chewing, and nodded. “I’ll nibble on these later.”
“Mmm, nibble.” He took her hand again, hauling her up against him. “I love the way you nibble.”
She laughed deep in her throat, tossing her head back to stare up at him. “I love the way your mouth feels on me, too.”
Lust tore through him and he sucked in a breath. “Tamara, I’m going to make you scream.”
She seemed to hesitate, and then she got a glint of determination in her eyes. “Not if I make you scream first.”
Her hands were wild on him and he helped her strip his clothes off. Pushing him down on the bed in only his boxer briefs, she stood back and smiled before quickly taking her own clothes off. He’d seen her body so many times now, but it never ceased to make him weak.
When he reached for her, she grabbed his hand.
“Not a chance, Ben. I’m driving, remember?”
She crawled over him, pushing him down onto his back. He let her take the lead, loving the way her body felt against his. She straddled his waist and he could feel her heat. He was so hard now he could barely breathe.
“Tammy, please,” he urged. “I’m dying here.”
Reaching behind her ass, she stroked him. The position thrust her breasts higher and his mouth watered. She moved and he felt her wet heat against the flesh of his lower belly. Her hands were on his chest now and his were in fists.
“I have to touch you,” he rasped.
She bit her lip and shook her head, staring down at him. “Briefs, Ben.” She moaned a little. “Off.”
He reached down and shoved his briefs out of the way as she shifted. Before he could think to grab a condom, she slid down on him.
“Tammy, wait,” he bit out.
She froze, and then climbed off of him and reached over to the nightstand. Then she was there again. Tight around him as she rode him hard.
He held on to her hips and let her have her way. It was freeing. It was incredible. It was everything she was. Wild and sweet and so hot he had to close his eyes before he lost control.
“Ben,” she breathed, her voice rising. “Oh!”
When she bucked above him, crying out, he arched off the bed to meet her. His climax was beyond anything he’d had before, going on and on as she continued to move over him.
She collapsed onto his chest and his arms wrapped snugly around her. Burying his face in her hair, he breathed in the scent of her and himself. That thing shifted in his chest again, his heart beating with hers.
“Stay, Tammy,” he said.
She held herself over him, her face soft and gorgeous. “Stay?”
This wasn’t how he wanted to broach the subject, but his orgasm-rattled brain apparently hadn’t thought things through.
“I want this,” he told her.
She blinked, her eyes going wide. “What?” Scrambling off of him, she sat with her knees drawn to her chest. “What, exactly, do you want?”
The blood was slowly getting back to his head, so he took a second to collect his thoughts. Her face was pale and she looked almost afraid.
“I want this, Tammy,” he said. “What we have.”
She shook her head. “No. I can’t think about this now. Not today.”
“Why not?”
Her eyes were shiny now. What the hell was going on with her?
“I told you before, Ben.” She got out of his bed in a blur and starting putting on her underwear. “God, how could you do this?”
“Do what?” He stood and pulled on his briefs as she stepped into her jeans. “Where are you going?”
“Home.” She buttoned her jeans and put her shirt on, pulling her hair up and out of it to fall down her back. “My house.”
“Tammy, I want to talk about this.” He took a breath. “About us.”
She froze, her mouth agape. “Us? There’s no us. You can’t say there is. Just like that.”
“Why the hell not?” He stalked over to her. “Tell me what’s going on with you.”
She shook her head. “No, Ben. Damn it, I knew this would happen.”
He stood there in his underwear, equal parts confused and pissed off. “You knew what would happen? Look, the way I feel about you. I—”
Her hand flew up to cover his mouth. “Don’t say it.” Her voice was frantic. “Words you don’t mean, Ben. Don’t say them.”
He grasped her wrist, pulling her hand away from his mouth. “Maybe I do.”
“Maybe?” She tilted her head to the side, a sad smile on her lips. “I can’t do a maybe. Not now.”
She grabbed a hold of the doorknob, and then turned back to him. “I’ll see you around.”
<
br /> She was gone in the next second, leaving him staring at the door for a long minute. What the hell had just happened?
One minute they were in his bed, giving and taking everything until they both broke in the best way. The next he’d said he wanted what they had and she’d freaked the fuck out.
Pulling on his jeans, he ran his fingers through his hair and sat down on the edge of the bed. Had he read everything wrong? They were good together. In and out of bed. He wasn’t asking her to marry him, for God’s sake. He just wanted to see where they were going. To think about what they could be.
“What the fuck?” he grumbled.
He poured himself another glass of wine and drank deeply. He thought for a second.
“She gave me an out. Again.”
He hadn’t listened when she’d said she didn’t want to sleep with him weeks ago. That had lasted days that had felt like weeks, but they’d found themselves in something good. Something real.
He knew she felt something for him, too. Maybe this wasn’t love, but he couldn’t see himself with anybody else but her.
Whatever the hell was going on with her, he had no idea what it was. Or how to fix it.
So he drank some more wine and wouldn’t think about it tonight.
Chapter 21
Tammy splashed cold water on her face and stared hard into the mirror. She looked a little pale, but at least her eyes weren’t red this morning. She’d stopped crying sometime on Sunday afternoon. How she’d made it through the rest of the week, she had no idea. At least her work hadn’t suffered. Experience and professionalism had saved her from mucking up royally with her tours.
Now it was Friday afternoon and there was no way she was going anywhere but home tonight. The door swung open and she glanced over to see Claire enter. Her friend looked determined, and Tammy squared her shoulders in a defensive move.
“Hey, Claire,” she said in greeting.
She made a move to pass her and Claire gripped her arm. “Hold it right there.”
“What?”
“What?” Claire crossed her arms, blocking her exit. “What the hell is going on with you? That’s what.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You don’t? Have you seen Ben?”
At the mention of his name, she gave a jerk. “I’m not seeing Ben anymore.”
“I know. That’s not what I mean. I meant, have you seen what he looks like?”
Of course she had. He looked hot, and strong, and sweet. And like everything she could ever want.
“What does he look like?” she asked Claire.
“He looks like you. Miserable.”
“That’s not my problem.” Tammy lifted her chin. “He’s a big boy. He’ll get over this.”
“Maybe. Will you?”
“There’s nothing to get over, really. We had a good time. It’s over. End of story.”
Claire shook her head. “Nope. I’m not buying it. Something happened. I caught you crying in your office last Monday, Tammy. And all week you’ve been dragging your perfect little butt all around the office.”
“Claire, I can’t talk about this.”
“Not even to me?”
Tears choked Tammy’s throat. “Especially not to you.”
Claire’s face mirrored the sadness in Tammy’s heart. “Why not? I thought we were friends.”
That did it. Hormones, best friend, baby. It was too much. She burst into loud tears and hugged Claire so tight she thought she would break her.
“My God.” Claire held on just as tight, stroking a hand over Tammy’s hair. “What is it?”
“I’m pregnant,” Tammy whispered.
Claire stilled, and then held her back. “You’re pregnant?”
Tammy sniffed, nodding. “Yes.”
“Why couldn’t you tell me?”
Tammy wiped at her cheeks, shaking her head. “I know how hard you’ve been trying, Claire. I didn’t want to tell you because I felt like I’d stolen something.”
Claire held a hand to her chest, her face shining. “You can’t steal what I don’t have, Tammy. I’m not having a baby yet, but I will. I promise you that.”
“But I never wanted this,” Tammy said.
“So?”
“So?” Tammy gaped at her. “That’s it? So?”
“Yeah. You’re having a baby. You’re a big girl. I’ve never seen you give up so easily. Why would you now?”
“Give up on what?”
Claire beamed at her. “On a future with Ben! I assume he’s the father.”
Tammy slanted her a look. “Yes, funny girl.”
“Well, what did he say when you told him?”
Tammy looked away.
“Tammy Donato, tell me you told him he’s going to be a father.”
“I didn’t.” She held up her hands. “I couldn’t. He was spouting stuff about a future and that maybe he has feelings for me and it was all just too much.” She sniffed again. “And not enough.”
Claire gave a sage nod. “You love him.”
“I don’t know if I love him,” Tammy said.
“That’s bullshit, and you know it. You love him.”
Tammy hiccupped. “Maybe I do, but that doesn’t matter.”
Claire grabbed her shoulder. “Didn’t you tell me just a few weeks ago that you didn’t want to get involved with him because he was forever?”
“Something like that.”
Claire glanced down toward Tammy’s belly, and then back up at her. “Seems to me that forever bit you right on the butt. What are you going to do about it?”
“But Ben doesn’t know he’s forever,” Tammy said. “He insists he’s not, and then he wants to ‘see where this goes,’ whatever the hell that means.”
Claire stepped back. “God, you’re both so stupid.”
“Hey.” Tammy pointed to herself. “Expectant mother here.”
“Look. It seems to me you’ve both been running away from what’s right in front of you. You don’t have to lose this, Tammy. If you woman-up, you might get everything you’ve always wanted.”
“I’ve never wanted this,” she said, sounding a lot less sure of that than she’d ever been.
“I don’t believe that for a second.”
“It’s so messy, Claire. All of it.”
“So?”
“Again, with so?” Tammy blew out a breath. “I didn’t think I wanted this little ravioli but it’s here now. And I do want it.”
“Little ravioli?” Claire smiled. “How cute is that?”
Tammy found a smile. “Never mind.”
“Maybe what you have with Ben is here now, too.”
Tammy shook her head. “It’s not. He’s not sure he’s even hanging around here. He lives at the B and B, for God’s sake.”
“So?”
Tammy threw up her hands. “God, you’re impossible.”
Claire suddenly hugged her again. “You’re having a baby!” She leaned back and grinned. “Do you realize how gorgeous this kid will be?”
“Of course.” Tammy smiled. “But don’t get ahead of yourself. There’s no way Ben will want this baby, gorgeous or not.”
“And why the hell not?” Claire snapped.
Tammy’s heart warmed. Claire was outraged on her behalf.
“Down, girl,” Tammy said. “I’m just saying that I might have been avoiding him all week but it was pretty darn easy. He’s been avoiding me, too. What does that tell you?”
“That you’re both idiots?”
Tammy laughed. “Thanks, girlfriend. You make me feel better.” She held up a hand. “But you can’t tell Jake anything about this.”
“Why not?”
“He’ll tell Ben. Don’t even try to tell me he won’t.”
“Oh, he totally would. He wouldn’t be able to stop himself.”
“He and Ben are pretty close.” Tammy thought for a second. “Ben’s a part of the family, no matter what he says.”
“He
says he isn’t?” Claire looked a little hurt. “I think of him like I think of Rick.”
Tammy shrugged. “Ben’s issues aren’t my problem. I have other things on my mind.”
Claire grinned again.
“And lose that smile, Claire,” Tammy said. “Everybody will know something’s up.”
Claire’s expression sobered. “Ollie hasn’t said anything?”
“I think Ollie’s afraid I’m going to cry all over him if he asks me a thing.”
“Okay.” Claire hugged her again. “You’ll figure it out, Tammy. You’re a smart cookie.”
“Coming from you, that’s high praise.”
Claire shrugged. “Just promise me you’ll talk to him?”
“I can’t promise that. I’ll think about talking to him, though. Good enough?”
Claire rolled her eyes. “I guess.”
Tammy left the ladies’ room and headed back to her office to pick up her stuff. She planned nothing more this weekend than hiding out at home. No Chapman barbeques or getting sun on the beach. She and the cooking channel were going to be very close friends.
Friends. She had Claire in her corner. Despite the fact that Tammy had what she so desperately wanted, she’d made it clear she had her back. She and the little ravioli would be okay.
“You hear that?” she asked her belly. “We’re going to okay.”
As for the rest of it, she so wasn’t going there.
***
“What crawled up your ass?”
Ben looked up from his beer to see his brother Jake scowling at him.
“What?” he asked.
Jake raised his brows. “You’ve been sulking and snapping all week, bro.”
“Sorry,” Ben grumbled.
They sat on the front porch of Jake and Claire’s house, facing the green space across the street. Claire had gone into St. Cloud to see her dad, so Jake was on his own this Saturday afternoon. Ben was lucky his brother had called him to hang out. He’d needed to do something with himself after the week he’d had.
“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Jake asked.
Ben studied him for a minute. “I can?”
Anger showed briefly on his brother’s face. “What the hell do I have to do, Ben? Don’t you get it by now?”
“Get what?”
“You’re family, bro. Whether you like it or not. Christ.”
Winning Ben Page 18
