by Suzi Davis
“What?” I gasped. I felt the blood drain from my face. “No, I can’t…”
“You have spoken a vow before the living and the dead. It is your destiny. You shall guide them, you shall teach them, you shall maintain order,” Niamh repeated, her voice rustling like dead leaves in the wind.
“The power has lain dormant within them, as within yourself, for centuries. With no one powerful enough to guide them, the ability has not been realized. But you have rediscovered the magic, you shall be the one to awaken their power. They will seek you out and reveal their power to you. But you must guide them and teach them the ways of the Lost Magic.”
I was speechless. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I desperately wanted Sebastian to be with me then—I needed his support, his strength, his wisdom.
“Will Sebastian remember now? And David?” I shuddered at the thought. I had forgotten how dangerous David was; it seemed impossible now that I ever could have forgotten but I had. I could hardly believe we’d been living under the same roof as him for months, thinking him our friend and not remembering the deadly, ancient being that he truly was. “Will they regain their powers now too?”
“The magic shall be awoken in only those who possess the natural ability. They will come to you. You must guide them,” the spirit repeated monotonously. “The spell you created to erase the memories of your companions can only be undone by the speaking of their true, full names. That decision is yours alone.”
“But I don’t know David’s full name.”
The spirit ignored me.
“It is time.”
The necklace that lay against my chest began to glow, the sparkling amber light pulsating in time with its throbbing heat. Niamh watched me.
“Why?” I stalled. “Why are you here? Why have you been haunting me?”
The spirit appeared to sigh, her image flickering with what might have been irritation.
“I owed you a debt. I ended your life once, too soon. I vowed that I would right that wrong. Coming to you on the physical plane like this requires a great deal of strength. I have no physical body from which to draw strength, so the power is drained from my spirit. I know not if I shall continue to exist after this but I shall hope so. I have been watching you and waiting for the right time. I could not afford to approach you before you were ready and willing to listen lest I use all my strength and fade away,” Niamh explained. Her image grew fainter as she spoke, her body blending into the night and only her pale, ghostly face remaining visible as it flickered in and out of focus before me. Guilt flashed through me at the thought of extending our conversation any longer, but there was one more thing I felt I had to know.
“Why did you push me from the tree?”
“Sebastian was holding the necklace. He was touching the stone and he sensed its power. We could not risk him drawing from it.” The way Niamh spoke made it clear that would have been a very dangerous thing.
“But Sebastian wouldn’t abuse the power. He was about to give it to me anyway.”
“Perhaps…”
Niamh’s face disappeared entirely as she spoke, leaving her words echoing in the sudden silence around me. I waited tensely for her to reappear but found myself alone under the moon’s chilling glow, the amber stone in my necklace still glowing with its warm, magical light.
The cold night wind picked up, swirling the air and whispering in my ears.
“It is time,” the wind whispered softly in Niamh’s breathy voice. I sensed her presence though she didn’t reappear.
“I don’t know what to do,” I whispered back desperately. Panic was rising within me. The wind gusted one more time, sending my hair flying out behind me and chills rippling up and down my spine.
“Embrace… the magic…” the wind whispered.
I nodded. What choice did I have? Niamh had risked not just her life but her eternal existence to bring me to this moment, to guide me to my destiny. I still wanted nothing to do with the Lost Magic and I certainly didn’t want to be responsible for reawakening the magic in individuals across the world who had never even known it existed before. But to leave the incredible strength of the Lost Magic trapped within my necklace, where anyone who held it could access and harness its power was foolhardy and potentially disastrous, especially with people like David around. However reluctant, I knew what I had to do.
The small, flat disc of my necklace felt hot against my palm as I wrapped my fingers tightly around it. The light beamed out of the small, heart-shaped piece of amber at its center and glowed brightly between my fingers, sparkling and dazzling, impossibly beautiful to behold. I closed my eyes and pressed the necklace firmly against my chest, its heat burning into my skin.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to the night. I was apologizing to Sebastian, for not destroying the magic as I had promised him I would. I was apologizing to Niamh, as it seemed impossible that I would be able to keep the rashly spoken vows I had made in the Necromanteion. And I was saying sorry to however many people around the world, whose lives I was about to change by embracing the Lost Magic and reawakening the magic that had lain dormant within them.
A tear slid down my cheek as I mentally reached out and opened myself to the heat and power of the Lost Magic. I was sad but I wasn’t afraid. I should have been; I was about to open a floodgate.
Raw, untamed power blasted through me in a wave of blinding, blistering heat and pain. Memories flashed through my mind: the pain of the Binding, the explosion in Greece, falling from the top of the oak tree; but it was all nothing compared to this. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think. There was only pain and power coursing through my veins.
Abruptly, it ended. I fell to my knees, the night’s frost biting into my skin. My heart was still pounding as I opened my eyes. Everything looked brighter, in vivid focus despite the moon’s milky light and the murky shadows around me. My necklace was no longer glowing though it still felt warm against my skin. The night was quiet, peaceful even but I was not. I could feel the magic racing through me. It filled my blood, sank into my bones, reached out to envelop every tiny cell of my body. Its power was unbelievable. I knew I now had the power to do anything, absolutely anything that I wanted. But I wouldn’t, I couldn’t. How could I embrace this power when it had cost me so much? I didn’t want this, I didn’t want any of it. Suddenly, all I truly wanted was to forget again. But it didn’t happen. A wave of fatigue swept over me.
I decided it was time to go back inside, to go to sleep, and to pray that in the morning I would awaken and this would all make sense.
My thoughts were fuzzy as I stumbled back to the house and made my way up to my room and into bed. Just as I drifted off to sleep, a thought occurred. I would have Sebastian and David to deal with in the morning. Was it possible either of them could have developed a natural ability to access the Lost Magic after years of possessing it unnaturally? And what would I do if they had or if they hadn’t; if Sebastian were normal? Should I just let them live their lives in blissful ignorance? Sebastian might want that now… but how could I do this alone?
As I sank back down into a heavy sleep, I thought I heard an ancient, dry voice whisper in my ear, “Guide them.”
The next morning, I awoke to the warm sun shining through my bedroom window. A glance at my alarm clock told me I had slept in. I stood up and stretched, feeling unexpectedly refreshed, energized and optimistic—until I remembered.
My good mood vanished and my jaw dropped open as I remembered the bizarre events from last night. It felt like a dream but I knew it was real because I remembered. I remembered everything I had forgotten, I remembered how I had tried to destroy the Lost Magic and I had failed. I had made a mistake. The magic couldn’t be destroyed, it wouldn’t leave us alone and now we were right back to where we had started—almost.
I desperately needed to see Sebastian, to talk to him. I began throwing on my clothes.
I could remember how dark and deadly the Lost Magic could be: how it had once, h
undreds of years ago, corrupted Sebastian himself, along with the Others that he and Mags had created. I knew the cost of using the magic too well. Painful, haunting images flashed behind my eyes: Mags’ head hanging at an unnatural angle to her body, the expression on Walter’s face as I knowingly took his life, Sebastian’s eyes black with hatred and fury, burning into mine. I remembered everything I had ever learned and ever experienced of the Lost Magic and even though it now filled me to the brim, even though my whole body vibrated and pulsated with its strength, I wanted nothing to do with it.
“This is not my destiny,” I hissed to my empty room. “I will make my own destiny. I will choose my own path.”
And before any shadows could shift or voices could whisper on the wind, I spun on my heel and marched out of my bedroom, slamming the door emphatically behind me.
I strode into the kitchen, feeling full of righteous determination but the sight of David, sitting alone at the table, made me pause.
We considered each other. David wore a strange half-smile on his face, his head cocked to one side as he studied me. Anger and bitter hatred flashed through me as I recalled all the misery he had caused. Magic seethed within me, begging to be used, desperate for release yet even still, I refused it. It was both nauseating and infuriating to think how close David and Sebastian had become, how we had all trusted him and let him into our lives these past months. That was all about to change.
“Something’s different about you,” David stated, eyeing me curiously.
“Yes.” I couldn’t help but glare at him, my whole body tensed with emotion.
“Are you angry with me?”
“Furious,” I murmured between clenched teeth.
“And what could I have possibly done to arouse such a passionate response?” he smirked.
“I remembered.”
David’s lips parted in surprise, his condescending mirth instantly disappeared. He leaned across the table towards me in earnest, his eyes intense, his face pale.
“Everything?” he asked with a quiet hope that caught me off guard.
“No,” I lied, “but enough.”
His eyes flickered across my face, taking in my expression with a frown.
“It must be bad then, isn’t it?”
I didn’t respond. My anger was slowly cooling as I watched him. As I saw the apprehension and frustration in his eyes, it was clear that he didn’t remember any more of his life today than he had yesterday. And why should he? I certainly didn’t want him to remember and I wasn’t about to speak his full name, even if I knew it. But still… something didn’t feel right.
“The explosion… it was my fault, wasn’t it?” he asked quietly. He dropped his eyes to the table in shame. I blinked in surprise, my anger evaporating.
“Why would you ask me that?”
He shrugged. “I’ve been feeling strangely lately—guilty I suppose, though ‘guilt’ doesn’t even come close to describing it. It’s as if a part of me knows that I’ve made some awful mistakes in the past and even if I can’t remember them, I know that they are there. The… guilt… it’s been so bad lately, I hardly sleep. I fear it could destroy me if I let it. Sebastian sees things differently. He thinks this is my chance to make retribution, like I was meant to forget the past so that I could start over again.”
I searched his eyes but they were clear and honest. I found myself wanting to believe him.
“Do you want me to tell you the truth?”
I watched him silently consider, his eyes bright with intellect and his face drawn with a sadness that I had never glimpsed before.
“No,” he finally answered, “not yet. Maybe one day I will be ready to hear it but not today. Maybe I’ll even remember on my own, soon enough.”
“Maybe.” I eyed David uneasily. It would be extremely dangerous for him to remember his past—dangerous for all of us. Especially if he had any natural inclination towards the Lost Magic… but he didn’t seem any different than he had yesterday, did he? Goosebumps prickled on the back of my neck. I still couldn’t feel comfortable being in the same room with him, especially with no one else around. Not now, not after all I had remembered. “Where’s Sebastian?”
“I don’t know. He woke early—at dawn, and he left immediately. He was acting strangely,” David added with a scowl. Hope sparked within me.
“How do you mean? What was he doing?”
“He was muttering to himself as he got dressed; he was quite distracted. When I asked him where he was going he barely acknowledged me. He just mumbled something about going for a walk.”
“And you let him? That was hours ago and he still hasn’t come back? Didn’t you think you should have mentioned this to me or the Jensons sooner?”
David shrugged. “Sebastian can be strange at times but he’s more than capable of taking care of himself.”
“Some friend you are,” I muttered as I stalked out of the room. I couldn’t believe how uncaring and nonchalant David was behaving when Sebastian had just abruptly taken off at dawn and was missing hours later. This was definitely not normal behavior for him. I was worried but I was also secretly optimistic. Perhaps he had remembered too, perhaps he did have some natural ability in the Lost Magic and its awakening last night was now disturbing him. Perhaps.
On my way out the door, I picked up my cell phone and tried to both call and text Sebastian. I wasn’t surprised when he didn’t respond to either; Sebastian disliked using cell phones and rarely checked his messages. There were several missed phone calls and a text message from Clarke but I didn’t bother opening these—I had more important things on my mind. Glancing back over my shoulder, I could see David through the glass panes in the door, still sitting at the kitchen table. He was staring into his coffee cup, apparently lost in thought. The ghost of a smile hovered on his lips, filling me with sudden unease. The Lost Magic rose and swelled within me, and this time I did not deny it, this one time, I decided it was necessary to make an exception.
“I don’t want you to remember,” I whispered. The wind picked up as I spoke, swirling my words around me in an icy gust. Magic poured from my heart, coating each whispered word with a finality that hung heavily in the air. And just as quickly, it was done. David sat, staring into his cup still. Was it my imagination, or had his smile disappeared? What did it truly matter? I shook myself, turning away from the door and striding towards my car. I had to focus on the important task at hand of finding Sebastian. I needed him and I had a niggling feeling that he needed me too.
I spent the next several hours driving around Victoria, searching all of Sebastian’s favorite places—Beacon Hill Park, the old bookstore downtown, the inner harbor, the windy, wave-tossed beaches and quiet forested trails around the city—but he was nowhere to be found. I was quite concerned when I returned to the Jensons’ home shortly after noon and there was still no sign of him. David had gone now so I could only hope that Sebastian had returned home and they were now out somewhere together. The thought didn’t offer me much comfort. Wouldn’t Sebastian have called?
I forced myself to sit down with some tea and toast for lunch. I nibbled away nervously as I checked my phone’s messages, hoping to find something new. There was nothing from Sebastian but the unopened message from Clarke was still there, along with several others. Absentmindedly, I opened the first text from Clarke which had been sent early that morning.
Call me. It’s important.
Which was followed by:
I really need to talk to you, Grace. Call me as soon as you get this.
The third message had been sent just ten minutes ago:
I can’t wait any longer. I’m on my way over.
Just as I finished reading the message there was a knock at the kitchen door. Before I could even stand to answer it, the door opened and Clarke let himself in. My brows pulled down into a puzzled frown as I tried to make sense of his bizarre appearance.
He looked awful. He was still wearing his wedding tux, or at least, he was
wearing the pants and the half-unbuttoned dress shirt, the vest and jacket were missing. His face was pale and sweaty, his dark brown hair uncharacteristically messy and out-of-place. There were bags under his eyes, eyes which looked slightly puffy—had he been crying?
“Grace, I’m so glad you’re here.” He stepped forward as he spoke, pulling me into his arms and hugging me tightly, desperately. I wrinkled my nose at the sour scent of booze and cigarette smoke that clung to his clothes. “I really need your help, Grace.”
“Um, ok.” I politely wriggled out of his embrace, taking a firm step back. “What’s going on? Aren’t you supposed to be on your honeymoon?”
Clarke flushed.
“Yeah, we’re supposed to be leaving in a couple of hours for Jamaica but… well, Tanya and I got in a fight this morning and now she’s saying she wants to get the marriage annulled!”
To my surprise, Clarke didn’t just look ashamed, he actually sounded upset. It was distracting enough for me to forget my own problems, for the time being.
“Tell me what happened,” I offered, gesturing to an empty chair at the table. He gratefully dropped into it.
“I drank a lot last night—too much,” he admitted. “I was really hung over this morning and I guess I just wasn’t thinking straight. Tanya asked me if I enjoyed the wedding and I said, ‘Yeah. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I’m really glad Grace was able to make it.’ Then Tanya started acting weird, and she said something like, she couldn’t believe it when she saw you and I agreed and said you looked amazing.”
“Clarke,” I groaned.
“I know—it was stupid to say, even if it was true. Tanya was pissed. She started yelling at me and throwing things, and I was tired and had a headache and I started yelling back. We both said some stuff… Man, she was mad! But… I don’t want to get our marriage annulled. I’m actually kinda glad we got married. We’re going to have a baby and I’ve decided I want to be a good dad, I want to be around. But we’ve only been a family for less than twenty-four hours and I’ve already screwed it up. She said she’s going to raise the baby on her own, that she wants me to stay away from both of them.” He buried his face in his hands.
