by Dena Christy
“What are you doing?” Barrett’s voice was a screech of disbelief, and Rafe realized that he thought that he still had the power to command the wolves now standing behind Logan. “I command you to stand behind me. As your alpha, you must obey me.”
The wolf from Eden Creek stepped forward again, and he looked at Logan. Logan nodded, and the wolf came to stand in front of him.
“Barrett Todd, it is the unanimous decision of the Eden Creek wolves standing here tonight that you are no longer fit to be our alpha. We will no longer follow you.” And with this, the wolf turned his back on Barrett and turned to Logan. “With the deepest respect, the wolves of Eden Creek request to join your pack. You are the strong alpha that our pack needs.”
The wolf knelt on the ground and bowed his head. Every wolf from Eden Creek, with the exception of those who were unconscious on the ground, followed suit. Logan glanced around at the crowd of wolves kneeling before him and nodded his head.
“I accept your faith in me and will do my best to be the alpha you need. Please stand up.”
“No, you can’t do this.” Barrett was still in denial, but he would soon learn that his time in Eden Creek was over. “I have friends on the council. They will never allow this.”
“The council will not interfere in a unanimous decision of a wolf pack. It is Eden Creek’s right to overthrow an alpha who uses violence against them, who abuses his authority to extort protection payments from them. I’ve only heard a small portion of your crimes against your pack. It is enough for me to now pass judgment on you. As punishment of your abuse of the Eden Creek pack, now my pack, you are henceforth declared a lone wolf. You have until daybreak to take with you what you can carry, and you are to be away from the territories of Eden Creek, Cold Bay, and East Brook. If you are found in any of my territories when the sun comes up you will be killed on sight.”
Barrett stood there, shaking his head in denial. Logan turned and looked behind him until his eyes came to rest on someone in the crowd.
“Bobby Swan, will you escort Mr. Todd to his home? Once he has what he can take with him, take him to the border so he may go on with his life as a lone wolf.”
Bobby straightened up and nodded. “With pleasure, alpha.”
A group of men from Eden Creek stepped forward.
“Alpha, we’ll deal with the other wolves for you. Are they to be declared lone wolves too?”
“No, take them home, and once they come around, they can either reconcile themselves to being members of good standing in our respective packs or they can suffer the same fate as their former alpha.”
The Eden Creek wolves came forward to deal with their fallen pack mates, and Bobby went over to his former alpha and grabbed him by the arm.
As Bobby took a yelling Barrett away, it hit Rafe with a ton of bricks that it was over. Barrett was no longer a threat, and Honor didn’t need his protection any longer. As his fear came up and threatened to swamp him, Rafe knew what he had to do. He’d taken Honor’s choice of mate away from her when he’d declared them mated. He would let her go. And she could move on with her life and he could go back to his old one.
15
Honor watched out the bar window with no small amount of satisfaction as Barrett was led away by Bobby Swan. Finally, he was getting what he deserved and Eden Creek would have the alpha they needed. The wolves from the parking lot came in and Honor raced forward when Mercy walked in the door.
“What a night. Too bad I missed the big fight.” Mercy hugged her when Honor stopped in front of her, and Honor took her by the arm to lead her over to an empty table in the slowly filling bar.
“What happened?” Things had come to a head a lot faster than Honor had expected. She thought Barrett would come here to start something, but she hadn’t expected the wolves from Eden Creek to come here and end it.
“I think we all just had enough. Once Barrett and his goons tore out of town, the rest of us had a meeting. We decided that he needed to go and the best replacement for him was Logan. We didn’t want to take another chance with an unknown wolf. We want stability, and to be able to leave our houses without fear. From all accounts of the wolves that had joined Cold Bay, Logan is a fair man. He seemed like the best choice. So we hauled ass into Cold Bay to see if we needed to help fight Barrett but Cold Bay had it all sewn up by the time we got here.”
Honor sagged back into her seat. It was all over. Barrett was no longer alpha of Eden Creek, he was no longer a threat to her or anyone else. Honor’s eyes searched the crowd for Rafe, and he was sitting at a table icing his hand and talking quietly to Mason. She wanted to go to him, to share her happiness that things would be okay from Eden Creek from now on.
“You know you want to go talk to him. You don’t have to sit here and keep me company. Besides, I want a drink and I think I’m going to go ask that gorgeous bartender for one.” Mercy stood up and pulled Honor out of her chair. “Go talk to your man.”
Together they left the table with Mercy heading toward the bar and Honor going where Rafe sat quietly nursing his bruised knuckles. He’d been magnificent during the fight, and she’d seen firsthand why he was the enforcer for Cold Bay. He’d shown absolutely no fear when he had wolves coming at him left and right. She suspected that the goons from Eden Creek had been told to take Rafe out first if they couldn’t get to Logan. And Rafe had fought them off without hesitation. It was that protective instinct that made him such a good mate and would make him an even better father one day.
“How’s your hand?” Honor stood beside him and took the bag of ice off his hand for a second and winced at the cuts and swelling. His hand was going to be sore for a few days. She looked at his face and when he looked up at her, a wave of cold passed over her. There was that look again, the closed off one he’d been wearing for days. She wanted to grab him, to shake him and demand to know what the hell was going on with him. but with Mason sitting there looking at them she wasn’t going to do any such thing. “Are you okay?”
Rafe put the bag of ice aside and stood up. “We need to talk.”
That didn’t sound good. She wanted to stand still in the middle of the floor, to shake her head and tell him that they didn’t need to talk at all. But all she could do was follow him back toward Logan’s office. Maybe this feeling of foreboding was just her imagination working overtime. Maybe he wanted to talk to her because now that Barrett was dealt with he wanted her to be a permanent part of his life. The look on his face told a different story, and she felt sick to her stomach as she followed him into Logan’s empty office.
“What do you want to talk about?” She squared her shoulders and looked up at him. He wouldn’t look her in the eyes and she knew at that moment that he wasn’t going to ask her to be a permanent part of his life. It was over, and while she wanted to put her hand over his mouth, to keep him from saying the words out loud, that wasn’t what she was going to do.
“Barrett is no longer a threat to you and you don’t need my protection anymore. You’re free now Honor, free to go back to your old life or to start a new one.” He finally looked at her and there was nothing in his eyes. No warmth that he usually looked at her with, they were just blank as if he’d shut down every emotion he was capable of feeling. It wasn’t lost on her that he hadn’t touched her since she’d approached him at the table. Where was the man who’d protected her when she’d come to his home, the man who made love to her deep into the night? If that man had ever existed, there was no evidence of him now.
“And what about us?” This wasn’t happening. A lump formed in her throat and she closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. Whatever happened, she wasn’t going to cry in front of him. She was fairly certain that he’d left a number of crying women behind him in his past and she was not going to be one of them. With a ruthlessness she didn’t know she was capable of, she pushed down the emotions inside her and opened her eyes.
“Our mating was never going to be permanent. It was just a shield to keep y
ou safe from Barrett. Remember when it happened, you were upset because I’d taken away your right to choose your mate? I’m giving it back to you.” He pushed a smile across his lips that didn’t reach his eyes, and she wanted to slap it off his face.
If this mating was never meant to be permanent, why did he make her feel so special, so cherished? Even as she thought it, the words Stephanie had spoken to her came back to haunt her. She’d warned her that Rafe wasn’t capable of loving anyone, and Honor felt like a fool now. It wasn’t like he’d made promises of forever, when they’d started down this path he’d told her that it wasn’t permanent.
He looked at her like he expected her to erupt in a flurry of emotion, and he seemed to brace himself for it. She imagined that was how it usually went when he did his break up scenes. She wasn’t going to do that. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel like she was going to fall apart, she knew she was. But he didn’t need to see it. She wanted him to realize that she wasn’t like any other woman that had come before her, and she would be unlike any that came after. A part of her, the part that hurt so much, wanted him to regret doing what he was doing to her. So she was going to hold on to her dignity and face him like the strong woman she was.
“I just wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. It can’t have been easy having someone intrude on your life so unexpectedly.” She forced a smile across her face that was about as sincere as the one he’d worn only a few moments ago. Inside she was dying, but he would never see it. She couldn’t make him love her, and maybe someday she would be able to look back on her time with him without the ripping pain that was going through her right now. “I’ll head back to your place and get my things together. I’ll be gone before you get home.”
Surprise flickered across his face, and it was almost as if he had expected this conversation to go in a different direction.
“You don’t have to leave right away. You can take some time to figure out what your next move will be.”
And stay at his house knowing that he would never be hers? No. She would be out of there tonight.
“I think it’s best for both of us that I leave tonight, don’t you? I have a home I can go to now that Barrett is gone.” She took a step forward and put a hand on his arm. “Thank you for everything.”
She didn’t wait for him to say anything else and spun on her heel and walked to the door. With every step, she prayed that he would change his mind, that he would tell her to stop. She loved him so much and wanted him to love her back, but he said nothing as she crossed the short distance to the door. She reached for the doorknob and turned her head to look at him one last time.
She saw something there, a tiny flicker of pain in his eyes, and for a second it gave her hope. Maybe this wasn’t as easy for him as he made it look, but he just looked at her and said nothing. And she knew deep down that he wasn’t going to stop her. No matter what his eyes said, he was going to let her walk out the door and out of his life. So she said the only thing that was left to say.
“Goodbye, Rafe.”
And she pulled open the door and walked out of Logan’s office with her head held high. She concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. All she needed to do was make it to her car and she could fall apart. As she walked by the bar, she glanced over at Mercy. Mercy’s face turned pale, and she shoved her drink away. Her best friend knew her better than anyone, and if there was one person who could see through the mask Honor knew she was wearing, it was Mercy.
Her forward momentum faltered for a second and Mercy was there beside her.
“We’re just going to leave. We’ll walk out of this bar and no one needs to see.” Mercy’s hand wrapped around the crook of her elbow, and with her friend’s support, she made it out the door of the bar. “Where are we going?”
“To Rafe’s house so I can pack my stuff.” There was a tremor in her voice and Honor knew that she wasn’t going to be able to hold on much longer.
“Give me your keys, I’ll drive.” Honor pulled her keys out of her pocket and handed them to her. Mercy steered her over to where the car was parked and Honor got in the passenger side. Mercy climbed in the driver’s side and started the car. She wanted to tell Mercy that she didn’t have to do this, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to do it alone. At least she wouldn’t have to explain to her what had happened. “Where are we going after that?”
“Home. I’m finally going home.”
Rafe sat at the bar, nursing a beer. It had been hours since he’d let Honor go, and he was the only one left in the bar except for Alex. Logan have left once Bobby Swan had come and told him that Barrett was out of Logan’s territory, and the crowd had thinned out over time until Rafe was the only one left.
The truth of the matter was that he didn’t want to go home. Honor would have been there and gone, taking all her stuff with her and there would be nothing left of her in the house. All he had now was a big empty house, and for years he’d been fooling himself into thinking that was the way he wanted it. The way he liked it. But now he knew with a certainty that went deep down into his bones that it wasn’t true. He wanted a mate and a family to fill that big house, but that was never going to happen now.
“It’s closing time, Rafe.” Alex came over to stand in front of him. “I would think you’d be eager to get home to your mate instead of staying here with me.”
His mate. That was a big joke. She’d never been his mate, not really. She’d walked away from him when he’d given her back her freedom without even a token protest. Not that he wanted her to beg him to stay with her, but she’d walked away from him as if their time together ending didn’t affect her at all.
“I don’t have a mate to go home to, not anymore.” Rafe took a sip of his beer and grimaced. It had gotten warm and was barely drinkable. And still, he didn’t get up from the bar stool.
Alex braced his hands on top of the bar and looked at him with disbelief. “What did you do?”
“I let her go. Our mating was never real, and now with Barrett gone, there is no reason for her to stay.” Except that he loved her, but she didn’t love him back. He wasn’t surprised since he’d learned a long time ago that sometimes love wasn’t reciprocated.
“So you and Honor aren’t together anymore? Good. Then you won’t mind if I take a shot with her.”
Rafe’s head shot up and he looked at Alex through narrowed eyes. The jealousy he’d never been able to conquer where Honor was concerned reared its ugly head and a smile crossed Alex’s face. It was like he was expecting this response. Rafe shoved down the urge to plow his fist through his friend’s face and he looked down at the bar.
“It’s a free country. I can’t do anything to stop you if you're interested in her.”
“So you won’t mind then if I ask her out on a date. If after going out with her for a while, that I kiss her. And I’m sure it will make no difference to you if sometime down the road that I fuck her.”
A snarl rumbled in Rafe’s chest at the picture Alex was painting. He could envision it clearly, the scenario where Honor and Alex were naked together, having sex with each other. Rafe clenched his jaw and his fist curled on top of the bar. He wanted to tell Alex that it wouldn’t bother him if he dated Honor. He’d never harbored jealous feelings about the women who’d come before her when they’d moved on after their time with him. But she was different and he knew it.
“I’ll take that growl as a no, then?” Alex took Rafe’s three-quarters full beer bottle away and dumped the contents in the sink. “So you don’t want her, but no one else can have her either. How fair to her do you think that is?”
“I never said I didn’t want her. I said that I let her go.” In his head, he knew it was the right thing to do, but his heart wasn’t so sure. He loved her and his soul cried out for her, but he wasn’t going to go to her. He wasn’t going to call her, despite the fact that his phone was sitting on the bar and it would be so easy to punch in her number and tell her that he couldn’t l
ive without her.
“And why would you do something as dumb as that?” Alex pulled two beers out of the fridge, twisted off the tops of each one and set one in front of Rafe. He wanted to tell Alex to forget it, that he wasn’t going to bare his soul in the middle of an empty bar. He reached for the beer and took a sip. It was apparent that Alex wasn’t going to go anywhere until he’d heard the whole story, and maybe if Rafe talked about it, then the pit in his stomach would go away.
“I did it because I love her.”
A hoot of laughter came out of Alex. Rafe looked up at him sharply as a frown pulled his brows together. So much for telling this ass his deepest secret.
“Oh, you were being serious? Pardon me for laughing, but I didn’t think you actually bought that excuse. You didn’t let her go because you love her.”
“I think I would know what my feelings are.” Rafe took a swig of his beer and glared at his friend. “Okay then, you’re so smart. Why did I let her go?”
“It’s obvious to anyone paying attention that you let her go because you’re scared. I’ve seen you traipse in here for years with a different woman every couple of months. You pretend to be happy with a life where there is no one permanent in it, that living in that big empty house out in the woods is what you want. And maybe for a while, that was true, that the women you dated didn’t touch your heart because they weren’t the right ones for you. But all that changed with Honor, didn’t it?”
Rafe took another sip of his beer and refused to answer. Alex didn’t know anything about him. His life was fine before Honor came into it and it would be fine someday in the future, once he got over her. His silence didn’t seem to deter Alex one bit.
“I knew you were a goner the second you declared she was your mate right here in this bar. And you were, weren’t you? I think you were a little in love with her then, even though you were too blind to see it. You were too blind to see her, and you let her go because you are too scared to unbend and let her see the man you really are.”
