By her third week, she was walking on her own and thrilled that her hair had grown out a bit helping to hide the incision. The removal of her stitches and staples had been a milestone moment because days after that, she was allowed to gently wash her entire head. No more dry shampoos.
“God, a shower is the best medicine,” she said, combing out her hair. There was no longer a stark contrast of white skin on the left side, but a fine stubble of new red hair.
Doc had only just arrived for the day to find her sitting on the edge of her bed wearing dark blue sweat pants and a gray t-shirt.
In his hands, he held a yellow bag.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Just a little something,” he said, coming to her and kissing her lips. “Mmnn, you smell nice, baby.”
Leisl grinned. “I do, don’t I? Real shampoo, not that dry stuff. Ugh. That was awful.”
He handed her the bag. “Go ahead, dig in.”
She put down her brush and opened the bag. Inside were five brightly-colored scarfs. A smile lit her eyes. “Jason!”
“I figured you can keep your head warm on that side and still be fashionable. I don’t know a thing about what’s what, but the sales lady helped pick them out. I hope you like them,” he said.
Leisl stood, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I do! They’re beautiful. Thank you.”
“Well? Wanna put one on, have a look?”
Leisl nodded, holding them up. “Which one would you like to see on me first?”
Doc looked at the scarfs; a pink one with rhinestones, a black one with red roses, a silky green one with bright fuchsia flowers, a yellow one with hummingbirds, and a sapphire blue with swirls of plum, silver, and gold. “I’m no expert, but you’re wearing blue, so I’m going with blue.”
“Blue it is, then,” she said, putting the others back in the bag. She sat down, tying the scarf around and under her hair. The material hid her incision with its bright colors. “What do you think,” she asked, striking a saucy pose.
Doc grinned. She looked like herself again, looked better even. Happier. His eyes took in the wavy red hair spilling out the back of the scarf and her bright, green eyes. The look she gave him caused a tightening in his pants. That had been becoming more and more of a problem over the past week. Especially having her curled up against him on her small bed each night. Those few hours before she fell asleep were torture, but he wouldn’t trade them for the world.
“You look like a sexy gypsy.” His eyes traveled over her form. Leisl had lost weight the first week after surgery. He noticed the hollowing out of her cheeks and the delicate bones of her shoulders. But her appetite returned in week two and now, with her body healing, she was filling out again, in all the right places as far as he was concerned.
Leisl felt the touch of his eyes as if it was his hands that roamed her curves. Heat flushed her cheeks adding an alluring blush to her creamy skin. The past few nights had grown particularly passionate between them and she found herself wanting more, but at the same time, she was afraid. She knew that her fear was irrational. Jason wasn’t a rapist. He cared. His every action showed it. This still surprised her, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to it. That sparked yet another fear—that she would grow to depend on him, to love him, and he would leave.
It was all too new. She really wished she had someone to talk to about it all, another female. A best friend. Angie was as close as she’d come, but she was back in Kuwait. The likelihood of seeing her again was small at best.
Doc reached out and touched her face, caressing her cheek. “You want to take a walk with me outside? There’s something I’d like to discuss with you,” he said.
“Okay,” she said, standing.
He took her hand, leading her out of the room and down the hall. They took the elevator to the first floor and walked out to the patient gardens. Summer in Germany wasn’t nearly as hot as summers back home. But the sun was out, and the flowers planted throughout the years by patients under the supervision of occupational therapists were in full bloom making it a beautiful and peaceful spot.
“The Germans sure do love their green spaces,” said Doc.
“I’d heard that a few years back. One of the nurses at base camp had spent three years at Ramstein. She said there were dedicated green spaces all throughout the cities.” They stopped near a pine tree sitting on the bench beneath it. “What did you want to discuss, Jason?” Dread filled her. He’d been by her side for a month now. That was a long time and she was nearly recovered, more than enough to be getting discharged soon. Her future was uncertain. It would still be a while before she could return to duty, but it wouldn’t be combat duty. She was sure of that. More likely the army would send her to a base hospital somewhere back in the states. Jason would return to doing what he did, which he could never discuss with her, and in all likelihood, she wouldn’t see him again.
He scooted closer, putting his arm around her shoulders. “I talked to Doctor Bannerman earlier while you were in therapy and he said he’d be discharging you by Monday. You’ve healed well, faster than he expected even, so there really isn’t any reason to keep you here in the hospital.”
Leisl looked surprised. “He told you that?”
“Yes,” said Doc. “He’s going to talk to you about it in the morning, but yes. All you’ll need to do is follow up with an oncologist as an outpatient.”
“But by Monday? Jason, I need to get orders, talk to someone in billeting because I don’t know how long it’s going to take to get me transferred. I mean, I don’t have anywhere to stay.”
Doc rubbed her shoulder. “I know this, so I have a solution,” he said, glancing down into her upturned face. “On both situations if you’re in agreement, and…if the army sees it my way.”
“What?” she asked, cocking her head sideways.
“You remember I told you I own a cabin in Colver, Colorado?” She nodded. “Well, how’d you like to stay there?” he asked.
“In your cabin?” Leisl asked, astonished.
He smiled. “Yeah, in my cabin. Listen, Fort Carson is just down the road. Evans Army Community Hospital is the main hospital for active duty and retired army in the area. You can get set up with an oncologist there to follow up and you can work there in the surgical department once you’re cleared to go back to active status. It’s a great place to live, Leisl. I think you’d love it as much as I do.”
She absorbed his words quietly. “And what about you? Where will you stay when you come back home?”
He cast a sideways glance, a teasing smile on his lips. “In my cabin, I hope.”
“With me,” she said.
“With you,” he whispered. “If that’s okay.”
She bit her lip. “You want me to come live with you in your cabin in Colorado,” she stated out loud, but it was clear she was contemplating his proposal.
He was asking her to live with him, but how would that work? He was probably never home much as it was. How in the world could they be together if they weren’t actually together? She didn’t have any answer to that, but then, no man had ever asked her to live with him either.
Doc watched her face, fascinated, and also a bit afraid she’d say no. “You don’t have to answer me now. Just think on it, okay? Promise me?” He lifted her hand to his lips, kissing each fingertip, his eyes gazing into hers with a heated intensity.
His hot lips on her sensitive fingertips distracted Leisl from her thoughts. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”
Doc took the small victory. Grinning, he said, “and as for when you get discharged, there’s no question, Miss Craig. You’re staying with me.”
“I am?” Her eyes popped wide.
“Yes, ma’am. The apartment they set me up in on base is a two-bedroom so you see, you have a choice.”
“A choice? What do you mean?”
He leaned in close to her ear. She could feel his warm breath tickling her skin. Sexy thoughts of the night before filled her
mind when he’d kissed her there, slowly making his way down her neck to her collar bone and back. The thought caused heat to rush like wildfire throughout her body, settling low in secret places.
Doc knew what she must be thinking because he was thinking it too. His voice dropped low as he spoke. “You can stay in the spare room,” he said, “or,” he paused, brushing his lips over the soft skin of her earlobe before sucking it into his mouth giving it a gentle nibble, “you’re more than welcome to share my bed.”
Leisl sucked in a breath, blowing it out slowly. Her heart was beating wildly and the rumbling vibration of his voice so near her neck on top of it all was causing all sorts of naughty thoughts to run rampant in her head.
“You’re not playing fair, Jason,” she sighed.
A sexy chuckle sounded before he repeated the ear kisses. “All’s fair in love and war, babe. I just wanted you to be clear I’m not looking for a roommate even though I’d respect your wishes.” He reached up, taking her chin and turning her face to his. “I want you, Leisl. I think you want me too.”
“Oh,” she said. Leisl was overwhelmed. She swallowed hard. “I do,” she said. “But there’s something I need to tell you first.”
“There’s nothing you can tell me that will make me want you any less, sweetheart.”
“You say that now, but—”
“No buts about it. I mean it. I don’t care what it is. You hate fish. You snore. You garden naked on Sundays. I don’t care. I want you.”
She was stunned into silence. His eyes were sincere, she could see that, but how long would that last when she told him what had happened to her. How much of a freak would he think she was after telling him she’d avoided men completely after that? At twenty-eight, that was so far from normal it wasn’t even funny. Jason was handsome, world-traveled, battle-hardened, and experienced. Would he even want her after finding out how broken and inexperienced she really was?
“Jason, I…” She tried to get the words out, but they wouldn’t come.
“It’s okay, babe,” he said, touching her cheek. “You can tell me anything or nothing at all. It’s not going to change how I feel. Tell me whatever it is when you’re ready.”
The panic rising inside her eased. She nodded.
“All better?” he asked.
“For now,” she conceded.
“Good. Can I please kiss you then because I’m dying over here.”
“Yes, please,” she smiled.
Chapter 17
Monday arrived and before she knew it, Leisl was no longer an in-patient. Jason picked her up at the front of the hospital in a rented Audi. He carefully arranged her flower vases on the floor of the backseat and loaded the rest of her things in the trunk.
Leisl was wearing civilian clothing. Jeans, a white t-shirt, white canvas sneakers, and her red hair scarf. It was the first time she’d been away from the hospital since she arrived, and she enjoyed seeing Landstuhl as they drove through to Ramstein Air Base. The sun was bright, the air a pleasant 22◦ Celsius. In no time at all, they arrived at post, going through the gate and turning towards guest quarters. The dorm-style building was utilized like a hotel for traveling active duty members.
Doc parked on the end in front of the corner apartment. He smiled at her. “Home, sweet home, babe.” He hopped out, coming around to open her door. He handed her a keycard. “Go on in and have a look around. I’ll get your stuff.”
“I can help, you know. I’m not helpless.”
He kissed her forehead. “I know, but I got this. Let me spoil you a bit.”
He gave her a gentle push towards the door and began unloading the car. He carried in the vases of flowers first, two at a time, five total, laughing at himself for going overboard with the lilies and daisies after finding out they were her favorites. He set them down on the kitchen table and went back to get her duffel bag and one suitcase.
Inside the apartment, Leisl looked around the tiny living room which contained a loveseat and two stuffed chairs facing a flatscreen TV in the corner. The kitchen opposite the living room had a two-seater table by the window. The kitchen itself had only a two-burner cooktop and a microwave oven. The refrigerator was a small, under-counter variety common in German homes. From there, she wandered back to the bedrooms. The first one was clean, with a double bed, a chair in the corner, and a small dresser. The second one was slightly messier, but not by much, although it was clear Jason slept in that room. The double bed was made, but there were personal items laid out on the dresser. A comb, a small bottle of cologne, a zippered bag. A charge cord was plugged in and hanging over the edge, obviously where he charged his cell phone each night. An extra pair of boots sat on the floor near the bed and a garment bag hung from the wardrobe in the corner. Across from both rooms was a bathroom with a shower. She came back out into the short hall to find Jason standing there holding her bag and suitcase.
“So, where should I put these?” he asked.
Leisl pointed to the empty room. “In there, please,” she said, “for now.”
Doc nodded and did as bid, coming back into the living room to find her arranging the flower vases.
“What do you think of the place? Not too bad, huh?” he asked.
She glanced over her shoulder. “It’s cute.” She turned, facing him. “Seems to have everything a person would need.” She noticed he filled the small space of the apartment. They were going to be on top of one another and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
He fidgeted with his watch. “You hungry?”
“Yes, a little.”
“Good,” he said. “There’s this place I keep passing outside the base. Big Emma’s. Smell’s good, but I hadn’t tried it yet. I figure we could go there?”
Relief hit her. They could get outside the small apartment, at least, for now. “Sounds like a plan.”
“Shall we then,” he grinned, moving towards the door. “You still have the keycard?”
“On the table,” she pointed.
Doc grabbed it and they headed back out, both knowing eventually, they’d have to return and face their first night together.
Dinner was good. The restaurant offered both German and American-style food. Doc ordered a steak and Leisl chose chicken schnitzel. He had a beer while she enjoyed a raspberry lemonade. Their usual easy conversation had become stilted eventually dying altogether. They finished their meal in silence, with Leisl watching the people around her, painfully aware that Jason was watching her.
She thought about the coming night. It would be their first spent without nurses walking in and interrupting. She admitted to herself that it was only because there was no possible way for them to go any further than the hot kisses and heavy petting that she’d participated with such enthusiasm. It was like two teenagers in their parents’ living room seeing how far they could go before getting caught. But now, there would be no supervision, no night nurse making rounds and checking her vitals or bringing in her meds. Leisl knew Jason had gone back to the apartment many a night hard enough to hammer nails into the wall, and she felt just a twinge guilty about that. But he wasn’t the only one who’d suffered sexual frustration. She, too, had tossed and turned keyed up and wanting so much more. That both excited and terrified her. Mostly because she didn’t know how she would react or what to expect. Would it be painful again? Would he hurt her, even if on accident?
She’d heard other women discuss sex. They talked about it so easily, so casually, like it meant nothing more than a moment, but she couldn’t be that cavalier. For her, sex meant violence, pain, and fear. She didn’t know this other side of it that they did. She had no idea what an orgasm felt like and the idea of having a man inside her body again made her break out into a panic. But the past many nights when kissing led to touching led to bodies rubbing against each other, it hadn’t been scary, hadn’t made her want to get away. In fact, it had the opposite effect. She wanted to be closer. His muscular leg between her thighs, his hips grinding into hers, hi
s lips on her neck, and hands on her breast drove her crazy with desire.
She picked up her lemonade and guzzled.
“You’re sure thirsty,” he said.
“Just a little parched,” she choked out.
“I’m glad to see your appetite hasn’t waned.” Doc eyed her nearly empty plate. “How was the schnitzel?”
“Very good. And your steak?” she said, noting he’d already finished it.
Doc held her gaze. “Delicious.” He chugged the last of his beer. “You ready?”
Leisl felt her stomach dip. She knew that look in his eyes. She’d been flirting with it for a week while he’d been constrained by roving hospital staff, but now, the tiger was loose and despite the steak dinner he’d just downed, appeared ravenous. She knew without a doubt that tonight, she’d be devoured. Fear and excitement snaked through her. Leisl knew if she was going to survive an unleashed Jason, she would have to tell him everything.
“I’m ready.”
He smiled, holding up two fingers to ask for the check. The waitress handled the transaction and before Leisl could blink, they were out the door and back on the road to the apartment.
The sun was setting on the horizon when they pulled into the parking space. Doc got out and came around, opening her door, ever the gentleman. He took her hand as they walked to the front door only releasing it when he pulled out the keycard to unlock it. Inside, it was dark. Leisl searched for a light switch, finding it on the wall just as his hand reached out to do the same. She pulled hers back and let him flip on the lights.
“Can I get you something to drink? There are bottled waters and orange juice in the fridge,” he said.
“Sure, a bottled water, please. I’ll be right out,” she said, escaping to the bathroom.
Leisl locked the door and leaned on the sink, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She almost looked like herself, except for the uneven hair, but the scarf helped making it look like a deliberate stylish side-sweep. But it was the chaos happening in her eyes that surprised her. She could see it. Could see the fear, the frustration, the excitement, and if she could see it, Jason could surely see it as well. What must he be thinking? She swallowed hard. She’d just gone through a major brain surgery and survived. What was she so afraid of? This was her Jason, the man who’d followed her from the Middle East to be by her side when no one else had. Because there was no one else, only Jason. He’d taken care of her, helped feed her, lifted her when she was too weak to move, talked to her, joked with her, made her laugh, and comforted her. He’d kindled feelings inside her she never thought to experience, and he wanted more. She knew it, because she wanted more too.
Loving Leisl (Special Forces: Operation Alpha) (Green Beret Book 2) Page 11
