Nothing could ever be the same.
“Juliana?” Thomasina repeated, tilting her head with concern. Thomasina had always been the kindest, the most desirous of pleasing those she cared for. Though Juliana had noticed a change in her since she’d been forced to marry and then fallen in love with the earl after a scandal had broken his engagement to their sister Anne.
Pleasing others didn’t seem to be her strongest drive anymore. Thomasina was truly coming into her own.
“I’m sorry, I was woolgathering,” Juliana admitted with a forced smile.
Anne exchanged a look with Thomasina, and their powerful, sisterly bond was obvious. It had to be after their shared birth and life. They’d turned to each other when no one else saw them as anything but interchangeable, including their father. Juliana could see and feel the concern for her pulsing like a heartbeat between her sisters.
And it only made her feel more like an outsider than she had before.
“You have been nothing but distracted lately,” Anne said, stepping forward. “What can we do for you?”
Juliana bent her head. Anne had been known as the wild child of their threesome. Proven by the fact that she had broken her arranged engagement to Harcourt and ran away with Ellis Maitland earlier in the summer. A fact that jolted jealousy through Juliana as she glanced up at her confident sister.
It hadn’t worked out, of course. Ellis had immediately abandoned her with his cousin, Anne had fallen deeply in love with Rook as they struggled to find their way back to her family and now, she was here. Changed, just as Thomasina had been, by love. Anne was…softer somehow. She no longer had anything to prove because she had everything she ever wanted.
“I don’t need any help,” Juliana said softly as she turned away a moment.
Her role had once been to help everyone around her. Thomasina pleased, even if it hurt her. Anne went wild, even if it destroyed everyone else. And Juliana cleaned up the messes left behind.
Only now they didn’t want her to do that. No, now they pitied her. And that was the biggest change between them, even more than the units her sisters were happily forming with their new husbands. They saw this next step in their lives as freedom at last, and she? Well, she was left behind.
“Juliana—” Thomasina began as she touched Juliana’s hand and urged her toward them again.
Anne swiftly shook her head toward their sister and smiled instead. “Not now, Thomasina,” she said. “Father will only be gone a moment.”
Juliana let out her breath in a long sigh. Their father. While his daughters’ worlds had been torn apart, he only cared himself. But that had always been true, from the moment their mother died and he became their only guardian. What mattered to him were his plans, his goals. And now he had apparently left the room, which she hadn’t even noticed when she was lost in thought and regret and longing for things and people she couldn’t have.
Shouldn’t want to have.
Anne turned to Harcourt and Rook, who were standing by the fire, heads together in serious thought. The pair had not always gotten along. Harcourt was suspicious of Rook’s past, his connection to Ellis and the underground. But the men had made a somewhat wary truce at present, in order to protect their wives. Still, she sometimes sensed what could be a bond growing between them, and she thought one day they would be friends.
And then she would be truly cut out of her sisters’ lives. They would become a foursome, not a threesome, and she would be alone. Even if they invited her along as an afterthought.
“Rook,” Anne said, her face lighting up as she crossed the room to him, weaving her fingers through his. “You were saying something about Winston Leonard.”
Juliana flinched but pushed her shoulders back to forge past the fear and pain that name caused. “You have news?” she asked.
Harcourt looked toward Juliana with concern for a moment, but then his gaze flitted to Thomasina and she was forgotten. “Yes,” he said. “Rook?”
Rook lifted Anne’s hand to his lips for a brief kiss before he released it and paced across the room. “We all know that Winston Leonard is a villain of the worst kind. Duke’s third son or not, he is a dangerous criminal. When my cousin and Harcourt’s late brother were working together, they were fairly harmless. But Leonard only wanted to use them, so he saw them as disposable.”
Harcourt nodded, his lips in a thin, grim line. Thomasina moved away from Juliana’s side to go to the earl as he said, “They were fools to fall for his schemes. And even bigger fools to betray him.”
“Why do you think they did it?” Juliana asked, her thoughts returning to Ellis. His actions in the last few months had clearly been born of desperation, but he hadn’t seemed a desperate man last night. Perhaps that was why she hadn’t recognized him right away. He’d been confident and calm and cool as he toyed with her, then confronted her. Then let her leave without touching anything more than her hand.
“Ellis thinks he can handle anything,” Rook said with a shrug. “He always has. And most of the time he’s right. I’m sure he thought they could do the job Leonard required, stealing that gemstone that has caused so much trouble, and get paid. Job done.”
“But Leonard didn’t pay them what he’d promised,” Harcourt sighed. “My brother never would have let such a slight stand. Too proud.”
“For Ellis, the reasons for a response would have been even deeper.” Rook scrubbed a hand over his face, and for a moment, Juliana saw the weight of worry for his cousin on his face. “He’s known in the underworld. To be cheated like that would put a mark on him. Make him a target if he was seen as weak. He had to fix the situation. He had to lash back. That’s why they stole the gem out from under Leonard and launched this march to hell.”
“Your brother hid the gem when it was clear Leonard was coming for them,” Anne said to Harcourt. “And when he was killed by Leonard—”
“The hiding place died with him,” Rook said.
“We know all that,” Juliana said. “It is all we have talked about in the past few weeks preparing to leave Harcourt for London and during the trip here. You have the code that tells us where the jewel is. Wouldn’t it end the danger for all of us if you had it delivered to Lord Winston? Then he can work it out himself and leave all of us out of it.”
Rook flinched. “I have worked over the code for weeks and cannot break it. I doubt Winston would have any better time of it. It could serve to provoke his rage further.”
Juliana took a deep breath and hoped her tone wouldn’t betray her. “Then why not ask Ellis for his help?”
Rook held her gaze for a beat. “Because I don’t know where he is,” he said softly. “Even if I did, right now I don’t know if I can trust him. He was desperate when he hatched his plan to use Anne as leverage against Harcourt. And when Handsome is desperate, he makes bad decisions.”
Handsome. Juliana jolted at the use of Ellis’s street name. It fit, of course. There was never so handsome a man. Damn him.
“Well, I don’t know what any of it has to do with me at any rate,” she said, turning away so no one would read her expression too closely.
“When Leonard mistook you for Anne and kidnapped you, you became a part of this story as much as anyone.” Harcourt watched her as she paced. “Leonard has to know he’s gone too far. He…he injured you. He shot Ellis. He has to assume there are consequences, and that’s why he’s gone to ground.”
Juliana stared at her brother-in-law. Harcourt was still talking, but she didn’t hear any of it anymore. “Ellis was…he was shot?” she whispered.
The room went quiet as everyone stared at her. “Yes,” Anne said at last. “Don’t you remember? He was shot in the shoulder in the scuffle.”
Juliana’s harsh breathing echoed in her own ears as the room began to wobble around her. Her mind yanked her back, far back, to a bluff on a hill. To Winston Leonard threatening her, promising her that he would see her dead before this was over.
And then Rook and Harcourt a
nd Ellis had come. There was shouting, and yes, she did remember a shot ringing out. Then the slash of the knife across her cheek. Pain and terror were all that remained then. And the warm arms of Ellis Maitland as he cradled her close and whispered in her ear.
“Hold on, angel. I won’t let you go. You stay with me now.”
He’d held her gaze with his, willing her to be present with him, not to surrender to the pain of the injury as he pressed his big hand to her cheek and held her together.
The rest was a blur.
“He was shot,” she repeated, pulling herself back to the present.
Thomasina nodded. “You really don’t remember?”
“I’m not surprised. The shock will do that,” Rook said. He met Juliana’s eyes and held there. “I’m sorry, Juliana. I’m sorry that none of us protected you better.”
Juliana shook her head. “It’s—it’s fine. I’m fine.” That was a lie, but it didn’t matter now. Ellis had seemed well when he approached her. She hadn’t noticed anything about him that said he was hurt. So even though he had been shot, he was…functional.
Rook looked less than convinced at her distracted dismissal of the past, but didn’t push on the topic. “We’ve been talking about the danger, though, Juliana. Harcourt has implemented some security measures here with my help. Until we can find a way to deal with Leonard, we want to convince your father to allow you to stay here with the rest of us.”
“I think not.”
The entire group turned as Philip Shelley entered the room with a glare for his daughters and their husbands. His last glance was for Juliana, and it was dismissive.
“Father, be reasonable,” Thomasina said, moving forward. “You must understand that Juliana might be in danger. She was attacked not three weeks ago.”
“It was a random act,” their father said with a wave of his hand. “Highwaymen are terrible things.”
“It wasn’t a highwayman who attacked me!” Juliana burst out, pivoting to face him. She had spent her life arranging things for this man, making him comfortable and fixing his problems, and now…now he acted like this.
“That is the story I have begun to spread to explain that hideous scar on your cheek,” Mr. Shelley said, his gaze darting away from her face. Just like every other person’s eyes had started to do. “And that is the end of it. We have enough troubles without bringing some kind of intrigue to London to sully our name more than Anne already has. Juliana stays with me. That is final.”
“Mr. Shelley,” Harcourt said, his tone low and serious. “Your daughter is in danger.”
“One of them might be, but not Juliana,” Mr. Shelley huffed. “What value does she have to anyone? If someone is coming for vengeance, it will be against Anne or Thomasina, and they are your problems now, gentlemen. I will not lose my secretary just because Anne married a former thief.” Rook stiffened and Anne lifted her chin in anger. Their father didn’t seem to notice. Or perhaps even care. “And now we have stayed too long. I will call for the carriage. Juliana, you will join me in the foyer after you say your goodbyes.”
He pivoted without another word and left Juliana and the rest of her family gaping after him. Then her sisters were there, buffeting her on both sides, each with an arm through hers.
“I’m sorry,” Thomasina whispered.
“He’s wrong, just as he always is. And we will fix this,” Anne added.
Juliana smiled at them in turn, though she felt no pleasure in this moment or this humiliation. “I am simply glad you two are free of him,” she said, and pulled from their arms. “It seems I am expected to follow, and what other choice is there? He is right, at the heart of it. I have no value to anyone, certainly not to Winston Leonard. You should all focus your attention on keeping yourselves safe and in celebrating your happiness. You ought not worry over me. I’ll see you all later.”
She didn’t wait for their arguments or farewells, but turned and followed her father. He was just exiting the foyer when she entered, and she trotted after him, feeling rather like an ill-favored dog with an angry master.
He entered the carriage at the bottom of the drive without waiting to assist her. That job went to a footman, who helped her up in the carriage while staring at the red line of her scar across her cheek the entire time. She fought tears as he closed her in the rig and shouted to their driver to take them home.
“Don’t you get ideas in your head, girlie.”
Juliana blinked as she glared across the carriage at her father. He wasn’t looking at her, but at some papers he had drawn from his inside coat pocket.
“About what?” she asked, though she already knew.
He lifted his gaze ever so slightly and speared her with it. “They’re all worked up over nothing, you know. Winston Leonard is a gentleman, not like Ellis or Rook Maitland. He can be dealt with as such. You have no need to go stay with your sisters and be part of their hysteria.”
She gritted her teeth at how easily her father could take sides with the man who had maimed her. And he’d intended worse.
“So you said,” she growled.
His gaze narrowed. “Your accident is unfortunate, but your prospects were minimal at best, thanks to Anne and her behavior. You didn’t lose much in the end. So you will be my secretary, and all will be well.”
She stared at him, wishing she weren’t still shocked by his bad behavior, by his selfishness, after all these years. “My accident?” she repeated. “That is what you call my being attacked by a mad man?”
Her father grunted and buried his attention back into the papers. It was probably for the best. After years of balancing everyone’s needs so well, Juliana found it was far more difficult in this moment. Emotions bubbled up in her, burning and ripping and tearing at the control she’d practiced her whole life. Her anger and her fear and her confusion were all balanced on the blade of the knife that had changed her face and her life.
In the end, she wanted to feel none of those things. She didn’t expect happiness or joy. Perhaps those things would never be hers again. But she would settle for not feeling the bad things. Last night she hadn’t. At the Donville Masquerade, the negative emotions had been replaced with desire and titillation and anticipation.
She straightened her shoulders. She didn’t want to lose that. So she was going back there. Tonight. Ellis Maitland and his edicts be damned.
Chapter 4
When she’d entered the main hall of the Donville Masquerade the previous night, Juliana had been shocked by the activities around her. Her gaze had darted around the room, never fully settling on the scandalous actions and sounds that permeated every part of the room because it was all so overwhelming.
But tonight it was…different. Tonight as she entered the hall, her gaze sought the wicked things. Settled on them because they centered her in some way. They took her mind off far worse matters.
So she allowed herself to stare openly at a table of four men and one lady who were playing cards. Except when one of them lost a hand, they stood and shimmied out of an item of clothing. The men were in various states of undress, including one who was entirely naked. The lady was bare from the waist up, and she giggled as the naked man flicked a thumb across her nipples before he dealt the next hand.
Juliana sucked in a gasp of air and stepped farther into the hall. She wasn’t ready for such things, that was for certain.
She looked elsewhere and found two ladies sitting in the back of the room at a table. Their heads were together, fingers laced as they passed a drink back and forth between them. Finally the taller woman, with dark hair and warm brown skin, leaned forward and kissed the other lady. Their connection escalated rapidly, and soon their tongues tangled in passionate display before they parted, smiling at each other with affection.
Juliana swallowed and glanced down at her feet. What was she doing here? She was a shy little sheltered mouse, it seemed, just as Ellis Maitland had said. He would laugh heartily to know how shocked and titillated she was by all t
his. He would think her even more of a fool than he already did.
She frowned. Why was she thinking of him?
“No,” she muttered, and shook her shoulders to clear her mind. She was here with a purpose and she was going to fulfill it. She scanned the room once more and this time her gaze settled on a man standing along the wall, watching the actions of those around him. He did not wear a mask, as was more common with the men in attendance, and he had a nice face. Not as handsome as Maitland, but then again, who wanted beauty that could be weaponized?
She drew a long breath and slowly began to cross the room toward him. Her hands shook as he noticed her and straightened up, his eyes flitting over her with interest.
“Good evening, my lady,” he drawled when she reached him.
She inclined her head. “G-good evening.”
“Are you enjoying your time here?” he asked.
She shifted as her gaze darted to the great hall again. It was one thing to look at these things, but to observe them with a stranger…
“Er, it’s quite…stimulating,” she whispered.
“Indeed. I had heard a great many things about this place over the years,” he said. “But never attended before. I suppose for a lady such as yourself, it is more commonplace.”
She wrinkled her brow. “A lady…a lady such as myself?”
He nodded. “A courtesan,” he said. “Only courtesans would wish to partake in such things, I think. True ladies feel no desire for such pleasures, no matter what Marcus Rivers sells to create interest in membership.”
Juliana pursed her lips. There were a dozen things to be offended by in his suggestion. One was that women would not feel desire the same as men. She certainly felt it and knew her sisters did the same. No one could mistake their attraction and attachment to the men they’d married.
A Counterfeit Courtesan: The Shelley Sisters Book 3 Page 3
