by JA Huss
“Is Nyleena pregnant?”
I shrug. “Could be, I guess. I’ve been out of the loop, remember?”
This is not a lie. But it’s only half true. I knew there was a high probability of Nyleena being pregnant when we left Harem six weeks ago, but I don’t know that for sure.
Veila stares at something over my shoulder. But when I turn I realize she’s just staring off into space. Lost. Finally she says, “I’ve been using a chemical.”
“For what?”
“To get pregnant. The Cygnians have a way to make babies in the womb too. And it involves this chemical formula. But the only time it ever worked was with Corla.” Veila narrows her eyes. “Was Corla here with you when you arrived that first day?”
“Of course not. We shot her through a spin node and sent her somewhere else.”
“Where?”
“Who knows? They were her coordinates. Just like ALCOR’s gates were her coordinates too. We didn’t have anything to do with any of this, Veila. We were pawns. That’s all. We did what Corla told us and then, when we arrived here, we did what ALCOR told us.”
She looks at me. “Are you tired of it yet? Or is this how you operate now?”
I shrug. “I’m kind of a go-with-the-flow guy.”
“Boring,” she says.
“Like you’d know. I would not call my life boring at all. It was pretty fucking great, actually. Until Serpint got Draden killed, that is. Then…” But I stop. Because this line of thought feels like betrayal. And I’ve been trying not to let it take over inside my head since Luck, Lady, Beauty, and I came back to Harem for Draden’s memorial service.
Yet here it is again. These thoughts won’t go away so…
“I blame him,” I say.
“Who?”
And when I meet Veila’s gaze she looks… different. Younger, maybe. Possibly even softer. Definitely a lot more vulnerable than I’d ever have suspected.
“Serpint. He stole Corla, got Draden killed, and then…” I shrug with my hands and let out a long sigh. “Then everything changed. And almost nothing good has happened since. And I hate that I blame him, because Serpint… he probably is my real brother. And I should not feel this way about him.”
“Hmm,” she says. “I feel the same way about Corla. She ruined everything for me. Her and her big plans. Dragging me along with her.”
“Wait. What? How do you figure she dragged you along? She was the one in the cryopod on Cetus Station. You were the one in charge.”
“Yeah.” Veila laughs. “Yup. I was. But it wasn’t my plan. This whole thing was her plan. I was just doing what I was told.” Her eyes lift up to search mine, darting back and forth. “Did you know I can shift time?”
“Time? What?”
“Silvers. We can shift time when we…” She flips that stupid hand again. “We take time backwards. That’s why it’s so difficult to get pregnant. That’s why we do the insemination artificially.”
“Sounds like a really terrible reproductive strategy if you ask me.”
She turns her back to me and sighs out the words, “It is.” She pauses, then says, “I’m going to miscarry these babies. Not in a few weeks, but very soon. I can already feel it starting.”
I can’t see her hands because her back is turned. But I’m pretty sure they’re cradling her stomach.
Do I have feelings about that?
No. No, I don’t. They’re not my babies. Why should I care if she miscarries? It’s probably for the best. Who knows what would come out of her if she brought them to term?
But this new Corla revelation? Now that is some news. Because I suspected. Of course, that suspicion was planted by Veila, so… I can’t really rely on it. But it feels very true to me and I have a sudden urge to go back and talk to Crux again until we work it out.
I’m just about to tell her I need to leave when she says, “Those comic books I told you about?”
I furrow my brows. “What about them?”
She turns back around to face me again. “Were the stories about you guys true?”
I shrug. “Tell me one and I’ll let you know.”
“I don’t really remember them. Not details, anyway. But I have a few old comics in my personal things on the warship. I found them on a station several years back. And it was like…” She frowns. “I don’t know. I was compelled to buy them even though they commanded a significant price and I didn’t have a lot of money back then. I actually sold a bot of mine—one I favored and loved—in order to afford them. They took me back to a small, bright piece of my childhood. Of course, I was well on my way to becoming… this by the time you boys made your appearances on the comics.”
She pans a hand down her body as she says that last part.
“But we girls in the harem used to gather around and read them out loud when we were young. Those comics were like screens to everyone outside Cygnian System, I guess. You were our exotic forbidden celebrities. The only hint we had of what was happening outside our own system. If that was by design to make us want you boys, or fear you boys, or just an easy way to keep us occupied, I have no idea. But I’ll bring them to you, if you’d like to read them.”
I don’t answer because this whole conversation feels like a trap. Just like Brigit was. Because against my better judgment I’m interested in Veila. Her life, her struggle, her past, her stupid books. She is different right now and I don’t understand the change.
A trap is the only thing that makes sense.
“Then you can tell me if they’re true. At any rate,” she says, taking a long breath and forcing a smile, “I’m going to let you go down to the lower levels to talk to Luck.”
“I will not be your messenger,” I say firmly.
“Whatever, Valor.” One more dismissive hand wave for good measure. “I don’t care. Go see Luck. I know you miss him. Come back to me. Or don’t. But one way or another I will get through that spin node. And I will get what I need on Earth or I will get a hold of those flowers, or I will die trying.” She looks me directly in the eyes. “I will do whatever it takes to protect these children.”
And then she’s walking towards the airlock door on the Harem side. All the rose-gold glow gone now so she is just as she was in my memory of her when she had me bound to a torture wall.
Ice princess.
The door opens and to the cyborg guards she says, “Take him down to ninety-six and leave him there. I’m going to the warship now.” She turns and walks past me towards her ship’s side of the airlock, but then stops and looks to the side. Not quite glancing at me, but not quite not, either. “By the way,” she says. “Welcome to the final war. There’s no going back now.”
Then she hits the unlock button on the wall and the airlock doors slide open. She walks through and disappears into a crowd of waiting borgs.
And maybe it’s just me but… she sounds a little sad when she says that. She sounds a little tired too. Like she’s had enough and she’s ready for it to be over.
I know it’s a trick. I get this. I do. But the whole way down to ninety-six I’m consumed with thoughts about Veila.
That’s not unusual, right? We are soulmates.
Aren’t we?
I think we are.
But it’s a lot of time to think because none of the escalators are working so it’s nothing but stairs frozen in place. There are thousands of Harem residents watching me as I slowly descend and I try to think about them instead. Wonder what their lives have been like these past several weeks since everything went sideways.
They don’t look happy. Most of them look very tired. All of them are displaying weapons and there are even several fights as the level numbers decrease. Harem Station hasn’t been quiet since Luck and I left all those years ago to start living the life of nomad salvagers, but right now it’s exceptionally loud. People yelling. Others selling shit in the open hallways. Hanging out in alleys in groups. Some of the women walk around like zombies. Like they’ve seen too much or done things they’d rather for
get about. Harem Station, I realize, has become just another war-torn city.
This makes me think about Veila again. What she’s been doing these past several weeks. What it took to take control of this station. What kind of deals she’s made. How she got pregnant and also, even though I don’t want to think about this part, where she got the genetics for those embryos inside her.
Not mine, she said. And that’s all that matters, I guess. Not mine.
A few of the loitering outlaws shout insults at me from the edge of the levels as I descend. Yelling things like “Deserter” and “Traitor” and “Sell-out.”
What do they think I’ve done? Partnered with Veila? It’s an easy assumption to jump to, isn’t it? I am her soulmate. Everyone has to have heard the rumors. But I soon realize that’s not what they’re referring to.
I am going down, after all. And all these people up here have clearly chosen a side. Crux’s side. Serpint’s side. Baby’s side. And yeah, Veila’s side too, I guess.
They’re angry because I’m taking Luck’s side.
But… is there any other side to take? Really? I mean, if I have to choose it’s always going to be him.
Anyway, it’s a long fucking walk down to ninety-six. But the cyborg guards don’t follow me down the last step that leads to the landing between ninety-six and ninety-five. Just turn and start walking back up.
I gaze up at them for a moment, then down half a level to the waiting guards of the rebellion. One of them is a Cygnian princess with short bright-red hair. She’s wearing tactical pants and a white tank top that’s stained with blood. There’s a significant cut above her left eye being held together with makeshift staples that reminds me that all the best medical centers are on the higher levels. Down here is a place for the rogue outlaws. Those who don’t assimilate well, or just like to fight too much and party too hard, or don’t like to follow ALCOR’s rules.
Former rules. It’s anybody’s guess what the rules are now.
“State your business,” the red princess demands, thrusting a plasma rifle at my chest.
“It’s me,” I say. Because I recognize this girl. Zeldine? Or Seline? Or something like that. She’s been in the harem for years. “Valor.”
“I didn’t ask for your name,” she spits. “I asked for your business.”
“I want to talk to Luck.”
“Oh, do you?” She laughs. Then all the men standing around her laugh too. Big men. Centurian men. Dressed in all black with their silver skin gleaming in the harsh lights.
I sigh, tired. Wishing I could go back in time and do things different. I hate that we’re divided now. I hate that our perfect balance of customs and cultures has been disrupted by this war. I hate that with each passing moment this station feels less like home and more like… more like a last stand.
Welcome to the final war. There’s no going back now.
“Just tell him I’m here, OK?” Then I take a seat on the steps and wait. Because all the Centurians are pointing their rifles at me with intent. It’s very clear I’m not getting one level lower until someone with more rank gives them the order.
Zeldine or Seline or whoever the fuck she is leans to the side and whispers something to a cyborg. He turns and disappears down the steps and she says, “What do you want with Luck?”
“It’s none of your business,” I say.
“In case you haven’t noticed, Valor”—she practically spits my name—“you’re not in charge here anymore. So it is my business.”
“I might not be in charge. But Luck seems to be. And my business is with him. Not you.”
“I’m the captain of Nyleena’s guard. So I beg to differ.”
“I’m just here to talk to him.”
“He’s not going to believe you.”
“You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”
“I have a pretty good idea.”
“Well, you’re probably wrong, Zeldine. So just do your job like a good little soldier and shut your fucking mouth.”
She shoots me.
And just as I start to black out from the plasma voltage jolting through my spasming muscles, I hear her growl, “That’s for getting my name wrong after knowing me for seven years, you double-dicked asshole.”
CHAPTER SIX - VALOR
I come to lying on a recovery chair and as soon as I open my eyes I recognize Lady Luck’s medical bay.
“Don’t move yet,” she says in her soft feminine voice. “Seline got you good right in the heart. You can’t talk to them like that anymore, Valor. They’re not adjusting to their new power very well.”
“What the fuck?” I say, ignoring her order and sitting up in the chair. Then I clutch my chest. Because I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack. “Fucking princesses,” I croak out.
“I’ve sent for Nyleena. She should be here soon.”
I take several shallow breaths, trying my best to get my heart rate under control and suck in enough air to power my brain. And then I whisper, “How long was I out?”
“I’m not sure. You were dead for a little while. But luckily you were already here with me so I brought you back.”
“Fucking bitch,” I gasp. “I hope that little red-headed mongrel is going to be punished for that.”
“Not likely. She’s one of our best soldiers, actually. She had to shoot you to maintain her rank with her men.”
I groan as I swing my legs over the side of the chair and lean down to hold my head in my hands.
“If I may?” Lady asks.
“Sure,” I say, waving her on with one hand. “Say it.”
“The princesses harbor a lot of resentment towards Serpint and Crux right now. And the fact that you have been up there with them for almost six weeks isn’t going over well.”
I glance up at the ceiling. It’s a nice ceiling. Painted bright yellow. God, I miss that ceiling. I miss my old life so much. Why? Why does it have to be like this?
But then I rally. A little. Just enough to explain myself. “Veila just woke me up a few hours ago. I haven’t really been up there for six weeks, you know that, right?”
“I gathered as much when I accessed your implant health data. But no one else knows that.”
“So Luck thinks I’ve been, what? Up there cohorting with Veila this whole time?”
Lady says nothing. But I can feel the shrug.
“It’s not even a real rebellion,” I say. “So that’s just stupid.”
“It’s more real than you think,” Lady says.
“What do you mean? This whole thing is just a plot to buy time.”
“It started that way. But wars have a way of maturing when you’re not looking. Intentions and outcomes are often misaligned once you get past a certain point.”
“That’s dumb,” I say, mostly able to breathe again. “Luck knows why we left. Hell, it was Tray’s plan to start a princess rebellion in the first place. He had to know I was brought here in a cryopod. None of this was my choice.”
“The fact remains, Valor, you came back alone. And that was not in the plan. Where is ALCOR?”
“I don’t know. We didn’t pick him up.”
“What the hell have you been doing all this time?”
“All this time? I just told you. I was in a cryopod.”
“And the week before that?” And now I can feel the eyebrow raise. Even though she doesn’t have eyebrows in any shape or form. It’s body language and I’ve known this ship long enough to translate her silences.
“The week before that… the week before that Tray and I were inside a virtual. And then Veila got us, and then… well, most of what came next I’ve thankfully blocked out. I woke up approximately two hours before that red-haired psychopath shot me.”
“Seline,” Lady says. “Her name is Captain Seline the Red.”
I scoff. “Whatever. Can you just tell Luck I’m awake and I want to see him?”
“He knows. He’s sending Nyleena. I already told you that.”
“W
hy are you so hostile to me? Huh?”
“I’m… uncertain, Valor. Unsure of where you stand at the moment.”
“I stand with you,” I huff. “You and Luck. And me. It’s me, Lady. Nothing has changed.”
More silence. Probably an eye roll this time. Because everything has changed. Even I know that much.
“Well.” She sighs. “I’ll let you two sort that out.”
“Great. Wonderful. Let’s do that now.”
“If and when you meet with Luck is Nyleena’s call now. She’s in charge of his schedule.”
I fume at this remark. The idea that this wild, feral fucking silver-haired princess is the new go-between for me and Luck? Well, it’s fucking ridiculous.
“Just relax for now. She’ll be here soon. Would you like me to make you something to eat?”
I’m about to rage over that remark. Because it’s a placating offer. Something to shut me up and make me forget what’s happening. Take my mind off the fact that Luck is refusing to see me. That everything has changed. And I’m not talking about Harem Station now, either. I’m talking about Luck and me. Our relationship. And the fact that it was me, not him—not even Nyleena—who forced that change.
But I am starving. Like fucking starving. I have no idea when I ate last. Weeks ago. Probably before Tray and I left Angel Station to find Brigit. The only thing keeping me alive since then was nutrient packs being fed to me intravenously during my various medical/cryopod adventures.
So I say, “Yeah. OK. I could eat.”
Lady doesn’t say anything after that. So I pull myself together and climb to the dining area on the main level and slink down into the familiar booth where I’ve taken the majority of my meals for most of my adult life. And even though it feels good, and familiar, and right… it also evokes a sense of sadness in me. Because things are so different now. And Lady Luck isn’t really my ship anymore.
I get this sinking feeling of foreboding in my stomach when the table-side autocook built into the bulkhead announces the arrival of my food.
And that sinking feeling becomes a sick one when I realize that Lady has chosen all my favorite foods.
It almost feels like a last meal.
