Adam got quiet, so I sat and tried to think about what he’d said. I was still trying to work out all the promises I had made God the day before. “Adam,” I started, “will Jesus help you get the things you ask God for? What if you promise to be good or to go to church all the time?’
“That’s two questions. First, Jesus does go to God on your behalf, but you can’t be asking for selfish or unnecessary things. But God doesn’t make deals, Brandy. A believer will want to go to church, read the Bible, be a good person – but they don’t have to do any of those things to earn God’s favor. A person can only be saved by the grace of God through Jesus Christ. Promising to do good will not get your prayers answered. And know this, God doesn’t always answer your prayers, but He will always provide what you need.”
I sat back in my seat and looked out the window. So God wasn’t really helping me get Adam. He didn’t care about my promises. Of course, I had only planned to keep those promises until Adam was mine. After that, all bets were off. I suddenly realized that God was smart enough to figure that out. He was God after all.
“I’m going to really think about this, Adam. I want to believe, I just don’t really think I want to change though. I don’t want to have to go to church every week. I am going to read the Bible, but you will think it is for the wrong reasons…”
“I don’t think there can be a wrong reason, if you keep your heart and mind open. I’m sure you are going to read it because it is mine. That’s good enough for me. Hopefully, if you read it, things will change in your life.”
I was really moved by Adam’s concern for me. I would read his Bible, and maybe I would start going to church. But not every week. I could never do that. Maybe once a month. I decided that my goal would be to read from the Bible each week and try to go to church each month. I was sure I could manage that. But I didn’t promise God. I just made it a personal project. After all, the Bible was full of good stories and the right church would be full of good people. I couldn’t go wrong – I’d have to improve even if I didn’t get saved.
Before long, we were crossing the state line into Alabama. I began to feel drowsy, and I unfastened my seatbelt so I could get comfortable. I was soon fast asleep. I don’t know how long I slept, but when I woke up, my head was lying on Adam’s shoulder. His arm was around me, and I snuggled closer to him. He didn’t seem to mind. I could have drifted back to sleep, but I made myself stay awake so I could take pleasure in being this close to him. If he was aware that I was awake, he didn’t let on.
Once we crossed the Florida state line, Adam nudged me and said I should tell him which exit to take. I reluctantly moved away from him and looked around to get my bearings. I could also hear Alicia moving around in the backseat. Of course, I wanted Adam to drop Alicia off first, so I turned around towards Alicia and said, “Which exit do you want Adam to take?”
“You know the exit, Brandy…the one for Highway 29 South. I can never remember the exit number.”
“I think it is exit 10A,” I said. I turned back around and buckled my seatbelt.
Adam asked Alicia if she’d had a good nap. She replied that she had. “And I can’t wait to get home,” she added. I was ready to be home too, but I knew that would mean that Adam would soon be leaving.
“How did you sleep, Brandy?” Adam asked.
“Okay,” I said. “I’m sorry I dozed off and didn’t keep you company.”
“It was fine. I needed to do some thinking. I have a lot of decisions to make.” I was hoping he was deciding to give me another chance.
Alicia called out, “Brandy, did you call Terry and tell him you were all right?” I had known that Alicia would get around to mentioning Terry in front of Adam. I didn’t care – Terry was just my roommate.
“No,” I said. “He probably hasn’t even missed me. I think he was going hiking with one of his friends for the weekend.”
“Who is Terry?” Adam asked. Was that jealousy I detected in his voice?
“He’s my roommate. We rent a house together. I guess we are also friends, even though we don’t spend much time together, and we have absolutely nothing in common.”
Alicia laughed from the backseat. “What was that all about?” Adam asked.
“Oh, nothing,” Alicia snickered.
“She’s just trying to make you think Terry is more than what I said. She can’t believe that a guy and a girl could live together without being intimate.”
“She has a good point. I’m not saying that you are intimate with Terry, but you have to understand that people are going to think that.”
“I don’t care what anyone thinks.”
“Well, you should care about your reputation. It can affect many aspects of your life. Some employers might hold it against you if you have a blemished reputation. And they aren’t the only ones. It may not seem fair, but the world isn’t fair. And there’s even more to consider. If you are living with a man, there is always a chance that you could become intimate. Things happen. You have too much to drink, your lonely, your depressed…”
“That’s not ever going to happen to Terry and me. I’m not even remotely attracted to him…”
“Like that ever stopped you before,” Alicia chimed in. “Do you want me to remind you?”
“No,” I shouted. “I’m done with this conversation.” But I was thinking about what Adam said. I was pretty sure that Jesus wouldn’t approve of my living arrangement.
By now, we were approaching the exit. Adam moved onto the exit ramp and then pulled smoothly out into the traffic on Highway 29. Alicia directed him through the multitude of red lights until we reached “W” Street where she told him to take a right. After going five or six miles, we eventually turned right on Navy Boulevard. Alicia told Adam to follow the signs for Highway 98. We drove through four red lights and turned right at the fifth one. We passed Navy housing and the Navy Commissary on the right. A few miles later, Alicia told Adam to turn right. Her parents owned a house in the community of Myrtle Grove and Alicia was leading us through one of her shortcuts.
We soon pulled up in front of a red brick ranch-style home with a manicured lawn. The house had been home to her parents for the last twelve years. Alicia lived on her parent’s property in a detached garage that had been remodeled into an efficiency apartment. The apartment looked like a scale model of the main house right down to the mahogany door entrance. Alicia opened the door to the car and stepped out. “Don’t you want to come in?” she asked.
“Do you think we could, Adam? I really need to use the restroom.” I was certain I’d never make it to my house.
“Sure,” he answered.
We walked towards Alicia’s apartment. Over to the right, a majestic magnolia tree was covered in velvety white flowers and their sweet fragrance filled the air. The tree’s broad green leaves created a lengthy shadow that engulfed the small building, and one corner of the roof was covered in old leaves that had accumulated over the winter.
Once inside, Alicia’s fancies became evident. She loved anything that hinted at a country theme. Many of the items in her home were made by her, and she was quite the little crafter. The apartment consisted of one large room with a kitchenette and a bathroom. In the large room, she had an ecru colored overstuffed sofa upholstered in nubby linen. The sofa was adorned by a brightly colored patchwork quilt and two needlepoint pillows – all of which Alicia had sewn. Her end tables were of an early American design, although they were not antiques. The paint on these appeared to be peeling, but that added to their charm. On the tables were lamps with distressed wood bases and parchment shades. The coffee table was an old steamer trunk with a flat top. There was a 27-inch TV sitting on a gray finished entertainment stand. The walls of the room were painted off-white, and Alicia had decorated them with homemade crafts – many bearing syrupy sentiments such as “Home Sweet Home”. The windows were dressed in tab top light blue gingham curtains and the dark brown carpet on the floor was dotted with colorful rag rugs. Along the wall
next to the bathroom, Alicia had positioned a four poster twin-sized bed. It was dressed in another one of Alicia’s pieced quilts, a blue trimmed white dust ruffle, and several throw pillows. The kitchenette was separated from the rest of the room by an island that had a butcher block top and oak cabinets. Both these cabinets and the ones over the stove and sink were decorated with blue gingham material that Alicia had somehow attached to their doors. Her stove and sink were tiny, but both were accented by country themed knickknacks. Alicia’s home was very warm and inviting.
Alicia asked us to sit down and Adam sat down on the edge of the couch. I was trying to hurry to the bathroom, so I excused myself and rushed through the door beside Alicia’s bed. The bathroom was similar to the rest of her house. The only variation in the theme was calico instead of gingham. Her window and shower curtains displayed a soft blue calico design. Her toilet was wearing a Wedgwood colored plush tank set that complemented the calico. Rugs on the floor matched the tank set. On top of the toilet tank was a doll dressed in a white with blue trim crocheted dress that blossomed at the bottom to hide a spare roll of toilet paper. I didn’t really notice any of this when I entered the room because I was in a big hurry to get my pants down. I just remembered everything from the thousands of times I had been in the room before.
When I returned to the front of the house, Adam excused himself and went into the restroom. I took this opportunity to question Alicia. “So what is going on between you and Rick? What was with all the crying?”
“It was just me being me,” she said, as though that should explain everything.
“That doesn’t even make sense,” I said.
“Look, I knew Adam didn’t want me to hurt Rick, so I pretended that it was killing me to leave him and come back home. I’ve had to keep playing the part so Adam doesn’t figure it out. You didn’t really think I was crying over him, did you?”
Adam returned to the room, so I didn’t reply. I wasn’t completely sure I believed Alicia’s story, but now wasn’t the time to get into it.
“You have a nice place, Alicia,” Adam said. “Do you like living this close to your parents?”
“It’s not too bad. They allow me a little privacy. For instance, it’ll probably take them an hour or so to come over here and ask me who was visiting me.”
Adam laughed. “I think it is probably nice to be able to see them every day. I miss my mom and dad. I think I’m going to go visit them once I get Brandy home.”
The three of us talked politely for a few minutes, and then Adam told me that we should be on our way. Alicia stood in her doorway and watched until we drove away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her mother heading towards Alicia’s apartment, and I felt a smile on my lips.
“Where do your parents live?” I asked Adam.
“You mean you don’t know?” he said. “I’m hurt. I’ll bet you know where Rick’s mother lives.” Adam was kidding, of course. Or at least I hoped he was.
“I only know where she lives because it was such a big deal when Rick bought her a house in LA. I’ve never heard much about your family, just about your sister… Sorry, I don’t mean to keep bringing that up.”
“It’s fine, Brandy. I’ve made peace with it. I love Siobhan, and I want to talk about her. I would disrespect her if I didn’t. Anyway, my folks live in Cary, North Carolina. I have tried to keep my family out of the media. They don’t want or need the attention that Rick and I get.”
Adam opened my door for me to get inside the car. He was being nicer than he had been earlier. Not that he had ever been mean to me, but now it seemed different. I fought the urge to think that Adam was falling for me. I had to be realistic. He had told me repeatedly that he wasn’t in love with me. I knew in my heart that he now considered me his friend and that alone explained his kindness.
I helped Adam navigate back to Highway 98. We headed west towards Lillian, Alabama. A few miles shy of the Lillian Bridge, I had Adam turn off to the right. We made a few more turns until we were approaching the house Terry and I shared.
Our house was actually a bungalow, although Terry always argued the point with me. As we pulled into the drive, I noticed that the light tan paint on the exterior of the house was fading due to the harsh salty wind blowing in from the bay. The shingles on the gabled roof were beige and in good shape. The bungalow was full of windows and there was a dormer on the roof that faced the main street. There was also a large porch on the front with a wooden swing hanging at one end of it. Terry’s plants were hanging out front and they were flourishing as usual. Looking towards the back of the house, Perdido Bay was slightly in view. I asked Adam to get out and come inside.
We walked into the front room which comprised our living room and dining room. Terry had done all of the arranging in this part of the house. We had a brown leather sofa and loveseat, two ebony and brass end tables with a coffee table to match, and a black entertainment center that housed Terry’s pride and joy: a 42-inch plasma television. The dining side of the room held our dinette table. It had a round glass top with a gold pedestal and there were four matching upholstered chairs. Other than this, the whole room was empty of furniture. The walls were white and practically bare. Terry had hung one of those “Dogs Playing Poker” pictures over the couch but that was about all. The floors were hardwood, and Terry kept them polished to glowing perfection. The windows wore only sheer white curtains over white bamboo roll-up blinds.
I told Adam to sit down on the couch and I offered him a beverage. He asked what I had and settled on a bottle of Dasani water. I got one for both of us and sat down beside him on the couch.
“I can tell this is a man’s house,” Adam said. “I don’t see anything that tells me you live here.”
“I think of this as Terry’s house and I’m just his roommate. I’ve decorated my room, if you want to see it.”
We stood up and I led him to the back of the house. We passed the kitchen which wasn’t decorated at all beyond the appliances. The cabinets were the same drab eggshell color they had been since I moved in with Terry. The doors to the hall bathroom and to Terry’s bedroom were closed. My room was open and inviting us to come inside.
“Wow,” Adam said as we stepped into my room. It was a stark contrast to the rest of the house. The walls were painted pale green. My bed, covered by a brightly colored handmade quilt, was in front of the double window on the back wall. The windows had matchstick bamboo roll-up blinds which were framed by a sheer pale blue scarf draped over a satin finish nickel curtain rod. On the right wall, I had a desk which held my Mac iBook and a printer. There was a Resident Evil poster above the desk. A bookshelf was also along this wall with all of my favorite authors: Douglas Adams, Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Jane Austin, Philippa Carr, and more. The left wall had my dresser and the door that led into my closet. I had posters on this wall of Spiderman, Batman, and, of course, Rick. My dresser, along with my makeup and other personal things, held a stack of my favorite Rick Hartwood CD’s. The wall at the front of the room was home to my nineteen inch TV which was connected to an XBox. On the hardwood floor was a multicolored rag rug Alicia had made and given to me.
“So, you’re a gamer?” Adam asked.
“I guess you might call me that. I’m a lot of things. I like playing games, but I also like to read – and I watch a lot of movies.”
Adam was still taking everything in. He seemed interested in learning all of the things that I enjoyed. I realized that he didn’t really know me at all. And I knew less about him than he did about me. I was beginning to understand why he wasn’t in love with me and why I couldn’t possibly be in love with him. I still believed that love was possible, but it was going to take longer than a weekend.
After he had finished checking out my book collection, we went back into the living room. “So,” Adam began, “do you want me to take you to look for a car? Or were you planning on checking the papers for individual sellers?”
“You don’t have to take me. I probably shou
ld make a few calls first. My dad usually knows someone with a car for sale. If not, he can take me to look at the car lots. He’s really good at negotiating.
Adam seemed a little surprised. “Well, I guess this is goodbye then,” he said. He hesitated for a moment. I couldn’t believe that I wasn’t trying to stop him from leaving. “It was a…really interesting weekend, Brandy. I hope everything works out for you. And I’m glad I met you.”
We were walking to the door. Adam was about to be gone forever. I didn’t want him to leave, but I felt that asking him to stay would make things worse. “I’m glad we met, too. You are a really wonderful guy, Adam. I’m thankful I got to know that. I’m thankful for everything you’ve done for me and all that you’ve told me. I’ve changed in the couple of days I’ve known you – for the better, I think. I hope I’ll see you again someday.”
“I do know where you live,” he said, and he gave me his wonderful smile one more time.
“Goodbye, Adam.” I knew there were tears in my eyes, but I couldn’t stop them.
Adam took me by the arm, and before I knew what was happening, he was kissing me. Then he was gone – without another word. I watched his car turn at the corner and soon it was out of sight. I was sobbing uncontrollably by this time, and I didn’t care. I’d never met anyone like Adam, and losing him was devastating. Even more shocking was the fact that I had let him leave. I didn’t even have his phone number or anything. What had I been thinking?
For The Least Of These Page 15
